A
female
age
51-59,
Abella
writes:Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same.That's when it's much harder to feel positive.Even if we could find just one thing positive, it might make us feel better.But all the positives seem to disappear when the negatives pile up.Who has not fancied a person, and then found out they do not, and may never feel the same? All people have to deal with such rejection in life at some time in their life. It hurts and causes us grief.Then there is the situation where someone falsely claims to like, even love a person, just to convince them of love theywill never feel. Usually they want something from the person they are duping. Be it information, money or sex.When these things happen, and we find we were told a pack of lies, it can seriously knock our confidence about. And we start to be more wary. We lose our spark. We see negativity all around. And beset by many worries, we start to feel less positive about the future. And it gets harder to see their is still so much beauty and opportunities for happiness in the worldThere is a way to counter this negativity.Not for a moment am i suggesting you don rose colored glasses.You still need to be aware. Keep your eyes and ears open. Be aware. Look for inconsistencies in what people say. Look at people's action, not just their words. Keep a watch out for incongruity as it is an alert that all is not as it seems.Over time people get smarter, not because they grow more brain cells.They get smarter because they start to see the same patterns of behavior in people, where the outcomes become predictable, when people behave similarly to the way others have in the pastWise people can tell when things will turn out badly because they have the wisdom of experience. They've seen people make the same mistakes in the past.While those with little experience may see their world through rose colored glasses. Ignorance is bliss.And blind ignorance can get people into some horrible predicaments. No wonder they get so sad and feel negative about a situation.It still hurts to see someone sad, beset with negativity. When it does not have to be like that.A long time ago i chose to brighten my mood at any point in any day. It's free. It has worked for me, wherever i am. No matter what has happened.It takes a few seconds and it can refocus my mood. Wherever i am for just a moment i look around and tunnel my vision onto one positive thing, no matter how small, on something that visually appeals to me. I usually make it an inanimate object, though i am prepared to make exceptions. And some things have been used so often as my positive trigger that i now automatically feel lifted into a positive sphere when i see a particular flowers, a sunset, waterfall, or a lady bug, or a rainbow, or a deserted pristine beach with palm trees, or a pretty tree in flower. Puppies, kittens and babies make me feel good too. I focus on the positive thing i have noticed and allow a moment to draw that positive feeling into me. Another way i bring positive into my life is to give immediate sincere credit to others as soon as i notice it.And somes i get an amazing response back as a result. There was an elderly nun i knew. She had a wonderful calm. She was very old and retired, but she still came to visit the place where i worked at the time, in the Church Office. Not very often, but just occasionally at odd times. It got to the point where i could sense her entering the room. Because i would suddenl feel myself suffused with a good feeling, and i would look around and see she had entered the room. Eventually one day i was helping her walk things out to the car and i told her that i could not understand it. But that i felt suffused by a feeling of goodness when in her presence. She brought tears to my eyes with her reply. She thanked me for saying what i said, then then told me, 'you cannot recognise goodness in others unless it is already within you'..So from then on I added a vision of her face in my mind as one of my good things. She died not long after that of old age. I was so glad i had given her that compliment.If you have an opportunity to sincerelycompliment a person, then do it. The compliment will also make you and the other person feel better. Maybe the person is nicely dressed. Maybe their hair looks good. Maybe a child is behaving in a respectful way to a parent. It is mean to deny others a compliment. Don't store up your genuine sincerely felt compliments, dispense them immediately. Then everyone wins. And you'll feel more positive as a result. Positive people have more fun. They attract other positive people. They achieve great things working co-operatively with others. They feel better about themseves. And they can lift the spirits of others in a way that negative people can't.But being positive all the time is near impossible. That's why practising tunnel vision positive thinking is a great way to get back on track and overcome the negatives in life. There is so much of beauty in life. Take apart a pomegranite fruit and marvel that it has been used in cooking for thousands of years. That's a positive in my book.Smell a beautiful flower - tuberose, stephanotis, lillian, rose and the scent is one that has been delighting people in the world for eons on this world.Certainly there is horrible negativity in the world. Good people don't want to contribute to it, such as child pornography, human sex slavery, domestic violence. Good people can contribute to causes set up to stamp out such evil.And there are misfortunes that cannot be forseen, but once again good people can try to make a positive contribution in time or money to alleviate such suffering.And some misfortune just needs good doctors, clean water and time.No one can solve all problems for all people. Not even money will stop the path of a Tsunami. Nor stop a volcano from erupting. Sometimes many people agree with us, and we feel good.All people will never agree with us.And occasionally multiple people will disagee with us. This signals that we should re-analyse the situation. Because we may be wrong.But we can resolve to be positive in the way we go about our lives. Look for the positive. And assist where we can, to the best of our ability at the time. You possibly known a seriously negative thinking person. Being with them can be seriously draining and depressing, even though each of their problems seem valid the real point is that they take the most negative anti position on everything. I call 'tunnel vision negative thinking'. They can find a negative in even themost innocent situation. They predict bad endings all the situations. Some times they are correct, most times they are wrong. But they only talk about few times they predicted a negative outcome. And for once they predicted something correctly. Even though more times than not the negative they predicted did not happen. Woe, woe and more woe. They make their lives a misery, whatever their situation. What a waste of their life. They don't practise Tunnel Vision Positive Thinking. More's the pity. And if they had even an ounce of positive thoughts a day they might enjoy life a lot more.I sincerely hope you can find some positives in your life, by practising tunnel vision positive thinking sometime in the future.
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confidence, flowers, money, porn, spark, violent Reply to this Article
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (27 April 2016):
 Wow. Great article! I love how you summed up the value of positive thinking. It's not about being oblivious but more about not allowing yourself to wallow in negativity. Thank you for posting! I needed a reminder :)
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (21 October 2012):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the question I am adding this article to match with my article as I think I want to be able to find and recommend both articles where required
Namely this great article by Aunty Aunt
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/smile-and-be-happy-your-guide-if-ever.html
to go with this
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/tunnel-vision-positive-thinking---used-to.html
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (23 December 2010):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Solar, Have to agree, bit of positive thinking smoothes the way in this busy month. At this time of the year we all try to madly rush around, so much to finish/do. Sometimes we just have to stop and do something nice for ourselves that makes us feel better, thx Abela
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (23 December 2010):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Khin77, true, all people need brightening up some days.
My lap top crashed yesterday. Had to get serious TLC for it. But it had a silver lining as i found time to tidy up some old papers/research i've been meaning to do for ages. So had no excuse to ignore it. Now feel so good that all is tidy, Thx Abella
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (23 December 2010):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi OliviaAna, i love the corkboard idea. I do similar by putting up good sayings on the refridgerator. Think I might get a corkboard too, wd tidy up the front of my refridgerator too, thx Abella
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A
female
reader, Solar +, writes (22 December 2010):
Great article. Can realy use this help around this days !!!
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A
female
reader, khin77  +, writes (18 December 2010):
I think I understand how you feel when the kind old lady said: you can't recognize goodness in others when it's already within you....
Abella, words that you've said is truly logical. Humans are forgetful creatures... We must always constantly remind ourselves to focus on the tunnel vision with positive thinking :-) Easy to say but I guess I should practice it more often and think about what you have said...
Good note Abella. You've brighten up my day^^
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A
female
reader, OliviaAna +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Wow! You have made me feel positive just by reading your article. It's like talking to and with someone who really understands. I have copied and printed this therapy session and it is now on my corkboard! Thank you for being here. =)
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (15 December 2010):
Abella is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat a lovely follow up JmTnj. And i remain in awe of all your fantastic advice and good commonsense JmTmj. Much appreciated, thx
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 I see this as an opportunity to sincerely compliment a person and make myself and the other person feel better...
Wonderful article! Made me smile :D
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