A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My gf and I were watching television the other day and an ad with this attractive model came on, she asked me, 'Would you approach her?', even though she knows I'm not the type to flirt with other women.She doesn't act like the insecure type although she hasn't got high self esteem. I'm good looking, but my skin isn't perfectly healthy looking (not anywhere close to flawless) and I'm below average in height. Did she actually think I have a chance with someone as beautiful as a model? Why did she ask me this question?
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flirt, insecure, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (3 January 2011):
 She asked that solely for reassurance. People ask loaded questions like this because they're insecure, and think the only way to overcome that is to test someone and see if they'll give the right response. They're usually looking not for an honest answer, but the one they want to hear. To put it simply, she was fishing for a compliment because her confidence is lacking.
It's not necessarily about you having a chance with someone she thinks is more beautiful, it's about getting the reassurance that you won't leave her for the supposedly more beautiful woman.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Yeah she's def testing you man. She's testing cause she's insecure and all you need to do to reassure her is say "No, I wouldnt approach her at all as Id have no reason to since Im with you and thats all I need"... somethin like that. If she starts repeatedly asking this question, then its probably a different issue. Hope this helps :)
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (3 January 2011):
She was just testing you to see what your answer would be. She would ask this probably because she is indeed insecure and would want to nitpick and start some sort of argument as to whether or not you find your her attractive enough. If you said "yes" then she would go into the whole, "So I'm not good enough for you" scenario or if you said "No" then she would either compliment you or call you a liar. Sounds like you probably wouldn't win either way and hopefully she grows up a little and quits asking stupid questions.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (3 January 2011):
 It's a silly question of the type that we women occassionally toss out there just to see what men say in reply. Don't pay too much attention unless she starts obsessing about it.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 January 2011):
 It was a inane thing to say. I do think it unhelpful. Though I even think some women do pose such a question as a test. Then the answer (depending on the answer) can then be used to pick a fight. And it is pathetic to try to pick a fight.
Why get worked up over a baseless shadow?
Reminds me of an event I was at and one wife got upset because the men were tossing thoughts on Angela Jolie. No need to get upset. One can only roll one eyes, raise an eye brow and the guys know the gals know that none of them has the remotest chance, not even if hell freezes over.
Tell her to focus on the real, not the shadows
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (3 January 2011):
 This made me laugh. Neither the job nor beauty makes the person so I know of no reason not to approach someone you are attracted to. It is good though that you would never think to stray from your girlfriend. This question she asked may not have derived from anything other than simple curiosity. I would not think too much of it but I would try and do something about your girlfriend's confidence issues.
I hope that helps.
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