A
female
age
26-29,
*rook_e_boo
writes:hey,,im very self conscious. I am a cheerleader and the flyer (the girl who is thrown up in the air) and so im small and i weigh just about 105 and i tell everyone that i weigh 95 because i feel if they know i weigh over 100 i will be called fat and i go on diets and don't eat for days and i just can't seem to get skinner and i know i should not but i am not happy about my body i look in the mirror and see someone who is ugly and should not be a cheerleader and does not deserve the popularity because the way i look i feel that i am not as good as everyone else i have never told anyone about my feelings toward myself because i feel they would juge me and that is the whole problem and i can't really except myself, i feel the only way i can get a guy is if i wear little shorts or really low cut shirts and to keep the boys i get is to do things with them,,.. and my new years resolution is to date a guy for three months and not do anything past make-out and to get under 100 pounds to get rid of my acne so i can like myself i told 1 friend about my resolution and she laughed and asked if i was serious and told another friend so i decided i can't talk to my friends and if i told my parents then they would wanna get me a therapist and idk what to do ,, its hard to look in the mirror everyday and see the same ugly person
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Being the flyer with the cheer leaders is a great honor, and I can see it means a lot to you. Yet there will be other school highlights. And later career highlights, that will eclipse even your role as the flyer in the cheer leaders
There are so many bright spots in your life, ahead of you. You may not think so, but we all enjoy some bright spots in our lives (some people are just too pessimistic to realise when the bright spots happen)
Certainly keeping fit and healthy is important.
So is applying your energy to your studies, right now. It will bring you more rewards, long term, than trying to impress some shallow foolish boys in the short term. I know boys are endlessly cute, entertaining and distracting, but they contribute nothing to building strength in the parts that matter - your studies. Think of boys as very rich icecream - only acceptable in very small serves and only for very special occasions. More than that, then boys are trouble that you don't need, right now.
I sense you are a lovely young student, with so much ahead of you, but just being being petite will be no impediment to you going ahead in your life.
Yet you have this belief, which is very real to you, that you embody none of the good attributes that you really DO have now. And you will only get better.
I suppose it means zilch to you, but millions of girls, 5 years older than you, would love to weigh just seven stone and seven pounds.
I do so hope you can come to value who you are, and how delightful you sound, just as you are now, and as lovely as you will be in another 5 years time, too, and even better 5 years after that. Life really does get better when we start to value all the things that matter. You matter.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): ok, I read another post of yours that says you were 5'0 and 79 pounds last year- so if this is all correct you have grown a bit and gained weight, which is good. This is all normal for someone your age.
You should not be dieting at 14, unless you are really overweight, which you're not at all. Your body is still developing. 79 lbs could be anorexic for 5'0, it depends on your frame. 105 is normal for 5'1, but still on the thin side if you ask me.
I think you just need to concentrate on your emotional health. Make sure you get enough protein, maybe take some vitamins since you're vegetarian and eat healthy fats such as olive oil and fish oil, I know this is not vegetarian, but many vegetarians do eat fish and it's good for your eyes.
I think your feelings about your looks have to do with your emotions and self esteem, so try to work on that.
I would find something else to participate in besides cheer leading as it is very dangerous to be thrown up in the air , you could be seriously injured. Try to develop your intellect instead and you will meet people who are more serious.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Brook_e_boo +, writes (10 January 2011):
Brook_e_boo is verified as being by the original poster of the question i am 5'1
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 January 2011):
You have a job in the cheer leaders, where you were chosen because others perceived you as the very best choice.
But you sure are very tough on yourself. And I can see that you are very diligent and you aim to be very responsible and do the very best you can. Why do I suggest this? Because although I sense that you do try to be careful, meticulous and responsible you also seem to think that you alone have to solve any possible problems that beset you, all by yourself. That's a heavy burden on you.
When we have a home we know if the house needs attention it is best to call in a professional to fix things - be it the plumber, the electrician etc.
Same with our bodies - we call in the nail technician, the dentist, so why not a a life coach or a counsellor? Professionals call in a specialist all the time to keep themselves on top - be it a life coach, an investment advisor, a marketing expert.
A good life coach is one with a solid Doctorate in advanced psychology. Choose a good one and your life will benefit in many ways. A good life coach will be as goal orientated as you, and will help you put all your life skills and action plans in perspective. You are not losing by asking for help, you are taking the initiative, and recognising that no one person can be an expert in all areas of life. And sometimes asking for help or support is the smartest action a person can take. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): First of all, I'm not sure what your height is but you are not overweight at 105 lbs - you may be anorexic.It makes me sick to see how young women are brainwashed by the media and other influences into thinking they're fat. You are NOT fat. Eat and enjoy yourself while you can and maybe give up the cheer leading altogether for another activity. Second, almost everyone has some acne at that age. Have you tried going to a dermatologist or using otc treatments? Third, definitely do not dress that way anymore. Look for boys who will like you for you. Don't have sex with them you are way too young. Work on yourself and your inner feelings instead.Fourth, you are not ugly! You're beautiful, you just need to start to see it and believe it.Please talk to your parents about all of this, they will back you up on all of this. They should be there for you that's why they're your parents.Please take care.
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