Like what
he writes?
... Add *JH to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *JH a private message | | | *JH's profile:Im a 43 year old guy from the UK. I`ve worked as a professional Agony Uncle for the last four years and joined Cupid for a variety of reasons - not least to "keep my hand in" whilst I hunt around for a new contract as the old one finished recently!
I`ve lived a fair bit and have four grown up children as well as two grand children!
As well as my work in print, I worked on air on national and local radio with Jeremy Kyle on his "Confessions" show before ITV came along and snapped him up. I now present a similar show on Vectis Radio on The Isle of Wight and love every minute of it! Peoples lives and problems have always fascinated me.
I can`t pretend to have all the answers but I have extensive experience in many of the key areas in life. What qualifies me to answer peoples problems? Nothing more than the fact the questions have been asked in the first place!
I welcome any feedback on the answers I give as any problem can have a variety of solutions! In particular, I`d love to hear from people who have resolved their issues as a result of this site!
Currently stubbornly struggling like mad with an iPad which seems to have a mind of it's own and a predictive text system which is unpredictable! Excuse the typos! |
|
Found out that my ex lives near the home my wife rented. Have made it complicated for myself? What should I do now?
Q. Dear Cupid, I arrived in US three weeks ago. I'm Indian Muslim . I'm 28. My wife is also 28 Recently, I bumped into my Ex”L” while jogging and she lives just one mile away from my wife house. She was also American and dumped me four years ago. ...
A. 31 July 2013: Your first problem is that you're not open and honest with your wife, in fact you've lied to her.
Whilst I agree that there is no need to give her chapter and verse on your past, actually telling her she is your first "real relationship" does lea... (read in full...)
How can I get past this doubt in my heart that she's being faithful?
Q. I've heard some rumors about my girlfriend from a friend of mines on campus. He says that someone he knows has been saying he and my girlfriend had a thing a few months back. We're weren't a couple back then so naturally this was something that ...
A. 17 February 2013: Paranoia WILL annoy her.
You have answered an awful lot of your own questions in your post here. You say you realize you are paranoid yet you continue to let that irrational emotion get the better of you.
All you can do is ask the girl outrigh... (read in full...)
How do we deal with communication problem in our marriage?
Q. Ive been married for 5 years and it just now hit me that for the past 2 years we have had communication issues. For example every time i try to talk to my husband he doesnt reply to me all he says is "ok" and i tell him well give me your opinion ...
A. 8 January 2013: Without communication, you simply don't have a relationship.
Putting up with your ignorant husbands behaviour is a green light for him to continue treating you this way.
You and your son deserve a lot more from this man and I think you are wi... (read in full...)
How do I meet a guy for a lasting relationship?
Q. My relationships with men have been unsteady and rocky, even though, I have tried to have a lasting one. It seems like the men I am interested in are not interested in me and leave abruptly or cause me to break up with them. I think I am fairly a...
A. 6 January 2013: There is nothing worse than trying too hard.
Take the pressure off yourself for a while. Forget relationships and focus on being happy on your own. That will actually make you MORE attractive to others.
Going through life having short and... (read in full...)
My fiance left me for my sister whom he got pregnant. How do I stop this from ruining Christmas?
Q. I'm 25, and have a son who's 5 years old. My fiance (he's 28) left me only a few days ago for one of my three older sisters (32, 35 and 37, he left me for the 32-year-old one) and I feel low. We were planning to get married next year in March an...
A. 18 December 2012: Yes there are more odd relationship than this but forget that.
It's early days and you're going to feel the acute pain of what happened for a long time yet. It's a huge shame it's happened at Christmas, both your sister and your (now) ex are abso... (read in full...)
My "bad boy" past is catching up with me and I'm going to lose my girlfriend because of that. Help!
Q. Dear Everybody, I met a wonderful lady at the beginning of the year. She means the absolute world to me. To give you a bit of background. She is currently seperated. She has 2 beautiful children and her ex husband works away alot. They se...
A. 7 November 2012: We all make mistakes at some point in our lives.
To me, you sound as though you have come through that.
The problem is, you need your girlfriend to take the same view. I know you say she loves you but she IS still letting her idiot ex have an... (read in full...)
Has he slept with someone else?
Q. Hi, My partner and I have been together for 4 years. If we have sex regularly he's able to go on for a while without coming. If we don't have sex for a few days or week he comes quickly. He has always said afterwards "Its because I havent had sex ...
A. 5 November 2012: What did the text on his phone say?
A huge row can put a dent in anybodies sex drive - male or female so don't jump too quickly to conclusions there.
Without any more information its going to be very hard to give you any straight answers... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is meeting others through an online dating site.
Q. Hi. I am a 23 year old male, in my first year phd study. I started a relationship with my girlfriend who is 37 years old now 2 years back, then I had to leave the country for a year last year, and I just got back to US to do my phd. Our long ...
A. 5 November 2012: This reminds me of a situation I was in three or four years ago.
A long distance relationship where I was head over heels in love with a girl who lived 400 miles away.
I met her online on a dating site. Once we got together, my profile was imme... (read in full...)
All I wanted was to be loved the way he loved her. Will he forgive me?
Q. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a point in my life when I am repenting for the choices I made in my impulsiveness and lack of thinking. I was secretly in love with my ex-colleague (he’s much younger than me). I had my heart broken in my early 20...
A. 3 November 2012: What you need is some time on your own to reflect upon who you are and what you want.
Right now you are obsessed with the power you have over men in terms of using sex. That's bordering on a psychological disorder at the moment if I'm brutally... (read in full...)
Can we have sex and not loose our friendship?
Q. Dear Cupid, I don't know what to do, I am a normal 25 years old girl a stable job, family and friends, good choices and bad choices. Year ago I became very close with a friend (boy) we became like soul mates, best friends really although we ...
A. 3 November 2012: You sound like the perfect couple.
Making love will bring you even closer together than you are right now and, its a natural progression from the point you are at now.
I can understand your hesitation in not wanting to ruin a friendship BUT t... (read in full...)
How can I stop loving my brother in law and get back to normal?
Q. I have a crush on my husbands brother. He's been single for a few years and has always flirted with me. I never encouraged him but I was always friendly to him, I just enjoyed being the object of his desire. Now it's getting worse, I'm getting ...
A. 3 November 2012: Remind yourself who it is you married, who it is you love?
There is nothing wrong with the odd private fantasy provided you NEVER take it any further.
The problem arises when you start feeling guilty for what you think in your mind. That in it... (read in full...)
Out of curiousity, can this happen?
Q. Hello. I have a question about something I want to try to do. Is it possible for me to put my penis inside my girlfriend's vagina, if it is still flaccid? My girlfriend and I have both agreed it is something worth trying. However, we both want to ...
A. 3 November 2012: Completely possible if she is aroused enough.
The problem you will have is avoiding getting erect whilst you are arousing her.
I'm sure it will be fun trying though.... (read in full...)
What do I do about my best mate/wingman?
Q. The question is what should i do about my best mate/Wingman? Info: We generally always go out together to party. I am good at walking up to girls and starting to talk, where as he is good at talking to them for a long time, and generally hook...
A. 3 November 2012: Perhaps if you found a long term and meaningful relationship you wouldn't have to go sniffing round every girl you meet in a club?
Honestly, your question portrays you as a Jack The Lad.
Anyway, as for your friend? He's just playing the game... (read in full...)
He's coming on too strong -- should I just walk away?
Q. I met a man on an online dating site just under two weeks ago, he is 56, I am 50, he is stationed in Afghanistan and his tour will be over on Dec 15th. He was married for 18 years and divorced for 7, I was married for 15 years and divorced for 3. M...
A. 3 November 2012: He's infatuated with you that's all.
If you think you may be interested in him, wait it out - that is, let him get over these initial feelings. The more you tell him to slow down, the more he will proclaim his love so stop that now.
What yo... (read in full...)
I'm getting such mixed signals....does he like me?
Q. Hey So I have this childhood friend, 'X'. We drifted apart in the middle because he went to a boarding school. When he visited once in the middle, I was an ugly duckling and he was kind of cute. I fell for him. And bad. Anyway, we kept in touch th...
A. 2 November 2012: One of the most important things I've learnt in life is that we are here for such a short space of time that we need to make the most of it.
There's no way on earth we can to tell how this guy feels about you BUT he can....
Why don't you spell ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my friend because of who she is dating!
Q. Hey guys y bestfriend who is a top aunt on here is falling away im 15 and she is in a relationship with a guy and he tries to make e jealous and get her to do things like give him blowjobs while im there she says no but he goes on and on untill i ...
A. 1 November 2012: This guy is clearly not suitable for your friend.
I'm going to give you some honest advice here....
You say you are spending more time with your best friends mum? This give you the perfect opportunity to tell this woman exactly what typ... (read in full...)
How do I get a girl friend if none are sexually attracted to me?
Q. How do you get a girl friend if nobody is sexually attracted to you? I am 35 and single and have been single all my life. I have never even had a one day relationship with a woman. It seems to me that it would be creepy to just go up to a woman yo...
A. 2 July 2012: You can stop telling yourself there is a problem here because the only problem IS that you are convinced there is one.
Take it easy, continue having friendships with women and wait for that moment to happen. It will. One day, sometime, somehow.... (read in full...)
How much is too much physical interaction for a 6 year old to see between adults?
Q. I am engaged to a 36 year old man with a 6 year old son from his 1st marriage. She died from drugs when their son was 2. He and I plan to have a child(ren) together too. I am in a real good spot. All I want out of life right now is to love t...
A. 2 July 2012: I cant see any huge issue with what happened this time.
In general its ok for kids you see you having a cuddle or a peck on the lips but anything further should be kept out of view.
Aside from the moral issues, this lad is probably awash w... (read in full...)
She's 9 years older than me. Could it work?
Q. So there is this chick at work that I like a lot and I think she likes me as well but she's about 9 years older than me and I'm not sure if it can work due to the age difference like we get along great always have something to talk about and it is ...
A. 2 July 2012: Of course age gaps work. My partner is 12 years younger than me.
Its how you feel about each other and what you have in common that counts.
So many people have this imaginary list of rules and criteria for relationships. All that does is dis... (read in full...)
My b/f drunkenly hooked up with my brother's ex a year ago. Now my brother is mad!
Q. I started seeing this guy who is friends with my brother and my ex. My ex and I have been broken up for three years. My ex got mad about me and his friend and told my brother this "secret" about my new guy which was that after my brother and his ...
A. 2 July 2012: Give your brother some time to calm down.
As with most of us, initial reactions to anything can be over the top but time smooths out the wrinkles.... (read in full...)
What are my options? He will not be social. Tells me to go alone. Trust is shattered. Help!
Q. After being married for 12 years and two little children, I've told my husband I can take it no more and I want out of this marriage. He has always been anti social making excuses about why he doesn’t want to go to gatherings and then saying I...
A. 2 July 2012: You have two young children there. You are essentially teaching them that this is how relationships should be.
Get out of there right now and settle yourself and your children in a better place.
Your husband can still be a dad. The fact he is a... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship but I love someone else
Q. i love a guy and in the same time i am in a relationship with another guy, and this guy that i am loving is so strange with me in this past week, he's like just wanna stay friends and live his life, i love him what should i do?...
A. 31 March 2011: You need to stop seeing the guy you dont have feelings for. How do you think he would feel if he knew what was going on in your head?
Take some time out, work out what it is you really want rather than staying in a relationship for the sake of ... (read in full...)
He was once married and never told me!
Q. Hi there, I met my boyfriend 2 years ago and we have been living in the same house with his parents who own a big house and we wanted to save before we move out.About a year ago in April I found out that he was married and nobody told me,neith...
A. 31 March 2011: YOur six month old child does need both of you BUT doesnt need to live in a war zone - and thats whats going to happen unless you resolve this issue OR go your separate ways.
The guy has lied to you and he`s been found out. Give him another ... (read in full...)
How do I bring this up to Bob???
Q. so im bad i was snooping in bf of 2 yrs phone and found a recently contacted out of state #. so i memorize it and call from my phone. girl answers. so i freak and hang up. then i text and pretend i went to high school with her and name off random ...
A. 10 March 2011: The very fact you had to snoop in the first place rings alarm bells with me. You clearly dont trust the guy do you?
By the sounds of things you have every reason to mistrust him too!
He`s lied outright about texting and chatting to this girl, d... (read in full...)
I'm thinking she wants me to ask her out?
Q. I know this great girl. I recently have started to like her and i really like her now. She has asked about who my crush is so i hinted it to her. She said she doesn't have one because she has been hurt to much. She said she would consider going out ...
A. 3 February 2011: What are you waiting for lad?
If you dont ask, you dont get! She may or may not be willing to give it a go with you but unless you speak your mind, you`ll never know.
I know its scary and the possibly of being rejected is always there but... (read in full...)
My husband seems to be living a double life!
Q. Should I be concerned that my husband of 2 months has registered himself with some site that are "questionable" in my opinion for a married man. This was done behind my back, but I have found the evidence because he left his computer on one day and ...
A. 3 February 2011: You`ll never get anywhere with guesswork.
When you talk to him be clear about what youre saying and his answers should, as a result, be clear.
If youre unhappy with something, theres absolutely no point in putting up with it and hoping it wi... (read in full...)
Is the oral sex not working for him?
Q. My boyfriend tells me that I'm good at oral and we both enjoy it. While we were cuddling after our first time, sharing little quirks and whatnot, he said that he basically only cums during vaginal sex. He's been with four or five other girls and I'm ...
A. 3 February 2011: Were all different but as far as I know, most men dont climax very quickly during oral sex. Dont believe what you see in these porn films!
If youre desperate to make this happen, ask him to masturbate to the point on no return and then try perf... (read in full...)
Drunk "I love you"?
Q. So what do you think if someone rings you up or texts you in the middle of the night to say "LOVE YOU xxx" Is this a drunken expression of a deep emotional feeling, or merely a drunk expression! What makes people say "I Love you" at times...
A. 29 January 2011: Drink tends to knock down a lot of the barriers we normally put up so maybe this drunken text was the truth.
Its hard to tell without speaking to the guy, have you thought about trying that?
the ice has already been broken, by him, so sieze th... (read in full...)
How is he able to move on so fast after our breakup?
Q. So my boyfriend and I went out for a year, and we broke up two weeks ago because we just didn't have much to talk about anymore. He's been flirting with a few girls an awful lot, especially with one girl who is a complete slut, and it just make...
A. 29 January 2011: Stop worrying about him and think about yourself.
Were all different, some people NEED to get flirty to validate themselves in a way, especially after a break up.
The one thing you need to remember in this and future relationship end... (read in full...)
Are love and marriage a deadline?
Q. Does anyone else think women now a days are more in love with the idea of "love" and "marriage" then they are with the true meaning behind it. I keep meeting more and more women who talk about marriage like a dead line rather then the importance of ...
A. 29 January 2011: Its a bit of a moving target to be honest, some woman, and men for that matter, see marriage as the be all and end all of everything.
The older you get the more you will meet people who think this way by virtue of the fact youre meeting older pe... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend's mother is jealous of me!
Q. My boyfriends mum is all over him in front of me. She calls him her gorgeous man. She is widowed but has a good social life. She is polite to me but she makes weird remarks which can be taken two ways such as 'hands off he's mine' and laughs. She ...
A. 26 January 2011: Hey, I`m 43 and my mums exactly the same with me although I dont think shes ever used the "hands off comment".
What you have to understand is that she IS his mum and shes perfectly entitled to love him just as much as you are. Maybe there is a hin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend went away, kept boring money, wouldn't call me! Should I dump him?
Q. My fiancée went back home to visit his mother who he hasn’t seen for 16years when he was leaving we agreed for him to be only gone for a month but he ended up extending his time to a extra months, where do i start before he left we were head over ...
A. 26 January 2011: Question.....how do you know it was his mother on the other end of that bad line?
He`s treating you like dirt and youre just allowing him to do it. Why? You love him? That may be the case but his actions are not showing that he loves you.
... (read in full...)
Is this a joke of a relationship?
Q. My bf took his female friend to dinner, and picked her up from work after he finished work. Yet he made me pay my way to work today (he drives me extremely rarely and he had the day off today so I didn't think it was a big deal). He called me quite ...
A. 26 January 2011: If hes still treating you this way after four years of being together, yes I`d say its a joke.
To not spend Christmas together? To be a secret from his dad? To have to PAY him for a lift to work? Its nothing short of ridiculous.
Obvioiusly we... (read in full...)
Sex is not special anymore!
Q. Today I write, I write about my experiences with sex, and love. How I have experienced so much and have come to many realizations about sex and love. First off to anyone who even reads this I know what you must be thinking. That somewhere out ther...
A. 25 January 2011: Its an interesting article but you miss one very important thing - your age. At 28, you are indeed an adult. You say you’ve done your tour of duty, have money and are an intelligent guy. I don’t doubt you at all.
Given your experiences its hard... (read in full...)
DId he let a secret out my accident?
Q. I'm a little bit worried about something my boyfriend said to me. Maybe im just over protective but i feel he's let a little secret out by accident?. My boyfriend's pet died suddenly late one evening a few days ago. He contacted me by phone and I ...
A. 25 January 2011: Sometimes you can make a big deal out of nothing though aswell. I`m guilty of having a phone full of numbers for people I wil never speak to again - I guess its a bit like horading - I hate to delete. Personally I wouldnt be concerned about ... (read in full...)
I want to move the relationship to something more than casual
Q. I met a guy 4 months ago and we are physically intimate and have not talked about exclusivity. We don't talk everyday but we have seen each other steady, once a week. In the beginning I solely wanted to just hook up because there was a strong ...
A. 25 January 2011: I feel so sorry for you. In my day it was pretty much a given that once you had slept with somebody you were exclusive - although it was never cast in stone, it was mostly the case.
So. You know what you want from the guy anyway? Why not just tel... (read in full...)
My partner is posessive and doesn't allow me to have friends
Q. my partner is very possesive and wont allow me any friends. i dont work and am basically a recluse as im not allowed out. please could someone advice me on how i can make friends on line without my partner knowing. i feel i need company a...
A. 25 January 2011: The root cause of your problem is the way you allow this man to control you. It's honestly not healthy and I suspect that if you do end up finding new secret friends on line they will tell you exactly the same thing. What's going on here is nothi... (read in full...)
Big decision, do I sell my soul?
Q. im 21 years old and have found myself in a really terrible financial situation. I don't feel like explaining the whole story but I made some bad choices on who to trust. The only immediate job that is paying good is doing massages. Call me naive but ...
A. 25 January 2011: The other girls aren't comfortable with what they do at all, they've just learned to shut off from what they're actually doing.
You could probably do that too if you tried hard but you would be going against every thing you think is decent a... (read in full...)
My husband seems to be cheating on me...
Q. i think my husband is cheating on me. he rarely makes love to me and is behaving in a suspicious way. he used to let me check his phone but refuses to let me near it lately. most of the time hes at home he will carry it around in his pocket which...
A. 25 January 2011: I think you know you're not being paranoid sweetheart. The old man is certainly telling you lies, quite what he's getting up to is another matter altogether. On the face of the evidence, yes, it seems as though he's nipping round to see the ex be... (read in full...)
I just want to stay friends!
Q. my close friend is ver sexy and I think that she is trying to seducing me . she has big boobs and when we are alone (studying...) she always try to show me her boobs by bending over without reasons or wearing low cut clothes(sometimes I see her ...
A. 25 January 2011: Its your choice who you date and who you keep as a friend.
People can often mistake genuine friendship for something else and it looks like this friend of yours is doing exactly that just now.
You can either do nothing and hope that she gets ov... (read in full...)
| *JH's friends
These are mutual friends, so *JH has
added them and they have added *JH!
|
