A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. We love each other very much, at least I think we do...we met on a dating website and when me and him started dating I obviously deleted my page. He didn't delete his but never went on ( you can see the users last login ) About a month ago he logged on and I asked about it, he said he was just seeing if it was still there, I believed him. Today he also logged on. I'm starting not to trust him. I mean he says he wants to marry me and be with me forever but still goes on a dating website? We've talked about a 3 some so could he possibly be trying to look for girls to do that with? I just need some opinions please. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): Well, I think people here are jumping the gun a bit. Dating sites, like any other social networking site, can be extremely addictive. People create friendships, build up 'reputations' in chat rooms, etc and it can be very difficult to suddenly stop all that.
The fact that your bf still goes on the site doesn't necessarily imply he's looking around - he could just be 'catching up' with an online community he's been part of for some time.
I'd say tell him the truth and that, for obvious reasons, you feel uncomfortable with the fact that he still goes on a dating site even though you've been together for months. It sounds perfectly reasonable to suggest that it, at the very least, shows a lack of consideration for your feelings.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 January 2011):
This sounds to me like a guy who's wanting to get as many notches as he can on his bedpost.
First of all, forget the threesome. It will do nothing other than wreck the relationship you have already. You only have to read some posts on this site to see the horror stories of threesomes. They never really work out.
Secondly, you need to question whether this guy is totally committed to you. I don't think he is to be honest. If he was, he just wouldn't be on the dating site now. As it is, he's still logging on, which means he's still looking for it.
I think you need to sit down and work out whether this guy is the one for you. Look carefully at your relationship and whether it's going anywhere. To me, it seems like he's not committed enough at all.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Never say yes to a three-some. It will never help a relationship, and is more likely to destroy it.
It might be that this man is not ready for marriage, and that after just five months the gloss has ended, in his eyes.
If he is to remain in your life then his fascination with dating sites will impede his opportunity to continue to be your
significant other. Going on or remaining on a dating society is fine if a person is not yet in a relationship. But once a person is in a relationship then use of a dating site is disrespectful to their partner.
He might be good at telling you what you enjoy hearing (love, marriage, commitment) but his actions contradict his sweet words.
I would scrutinise his actions and then ask, 'is this man the right man for me?
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A
female
reader, HopelessRomantic66 +, writes (8 January 2011):
It sounds like your BF may have a roving eye or is having doubts about the relationship. I would ask him again but be prepared that this relationship might be over. If your relationship is on shaky ground, a threesome would be certain to destroy it.
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A
female
reader, sof  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Maybe you should ask him. If he has only logged on twice since I don't think it's anything serious, but if you're really worried about it you should simply ask.
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