New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084626 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*bella agony aunt

*bella

United States  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *bella to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *bella a private message

*bella's Ratings
Excellent85%
Average4%
Poor11%
*bella's profile:

"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie

I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)

And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf

“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “

"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."

That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.

And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.

When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:

With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.

Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.

We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.

It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.

In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.

Never underestimate such a person.

Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.

A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.

Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.

The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:

“A leader leads by example not by force. “

And now some less well known quotes:

“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”

by Daisaku Ikeda

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

by Maya Angelou

“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”

by Zainab Alsaati

Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')

'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie

I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person

'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,

kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer

'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.

Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie

"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson

“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa

"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt

'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie

what's your favourite quote?

But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.

There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.

They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.

Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.

There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?

Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.

Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.

What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?

Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:

Negativity?

Passive Aggression?

Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?

Envy

Jealousy

For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.

The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.

Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.

Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.

Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.

Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified.

Latest articles:

Self Confidence - an easy step by step guide to help you develop self confidence.

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 June 2013: SELF CONFIDENCE I started writing an answer to a question, namely http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-change.html and my answer just grew and grew. I recognized it had become an article rather than an answer after I ex...

Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?

This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

22 December 2012: One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...

Cheating, Players, Betrayal and Trust issues. Should a Player or a Cheat be forgiven? - a collective resource on these issues, with some great responses that may help you.

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

16 September 2012: CHEATING Today the feature topics are Players and cheating and Trust issues or can you Forgive or should you forgive if your partner Cheats? And the collective wisdom on DearCupid.org on Cheating on Betrayal, Loss of Trust and Forgiveness or n...

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

This question has 28 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

28 August 2012: Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?

This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

28 November 2011: Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...

What are the attributes and conditions for a successful relationship that works? And what hinders the development of a successful relationship?

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

28 August 2011: I would be intersted to hear from others on what attributes and qualities represent essentials in a successful relationship. And what are deal breakers that can ruin a relationship? By a successful relationship I mean one where both parties a...

Where is the world going? And yes this does affect relationships.

This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

21 March 2011: "Where is the World going? And yes this does affect life and relationships." The original question received from an anonymous female in the UK aged 26 to 29 and called "Where is the UK going" inspired this article. And you might think this does ...

Tunnel vision positive thinking - used to your advantage

This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

12 December 2010: Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same. That's when it's much harder to feel positive. Even if we cou...

Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide

This question has 15 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

4 December 2010: You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...

< Prev6364656667686970717273Next > [76 pages, 2983 answers]

She cheated and I forgave her. Now she's doing it again. How do I deal with it?

Q.   Hello, a year ago my gfriend cheated on me. We broke up for a short period then I forgave her. A year later, now, I discover she is still chatting online with the guy she cheated with. Frankly I want to dump her. It took me some stomach to take her...

A.   4 June 2012: You do understand the aspects. All the more reason to formalize access arrangements and spell out some ground rules. Relying on the 'good nature' of your ex to do the right thing as far as access to your child is a pipe dream and you know that. An... (read in full...)

She cheated and I forgave her. Now she's doing it again. How do I deal with it?

Q.   Hello, a year ago my gfriend cheated on me. We broke up for a short period then I forgave her. A year later, now, I discover she is still chatting online with the guy she cheated with. Frankly I want to dump her. It took me some stomach to take her...

A.   3 June 2012: hi Ulick, Thank you for the update. You sound more resolved and emotionally strong. Now you can get on with your life and start afresh. The 'integrity' of this existing relationship is in complete tatters. And her integrity is zilch. Her game ... (read in full...)

Torn between my childhood sweetheart and a lovely guy

Q.   Okay, so i have gotten myself into a huge dilema. Seven months ago me and my childhood sweetheart met up and within a few weeks we were an item. I really loved him. He has been in foster care his whole life so i was always weary. Four months into ...

A.   19 January 2011: hi pajson93, I think you are recovering from your past troubles (though not fully over them) at a faster pace than the first guy. You are starting to understand what is a valuable lesson to learn or relearn. When children grow up in an enviro... (read in full...)

Torn between my childhood sweetheart and a lovely guy

Q.   Okay, so i have gotten myself into a huge dilema. Seven months ago me and my childhood sweetheart met up and within a few weeks we were an item. I really loved him. He has been in foster care his whole life so i was always weary. Four months into ...

A.   18 January 2011: now i understand that you have real history with this guy. And your own pain from the past has given you serious issues. I can understand your loyalty to this original guy. When people have been through hell,abbreviated to= (BTH), as have both you... (read in full...)

My wife want's a threesome with a younger woman as her birthday present. Seeking pointers to achieve this aim please

Q.   Hello Dear Cupid, Good afternoon. So glad to have located your website because I need some help/advice from some of your other members. I am writing and submitting this post, mainly on behalf of my wife. I am married to an exceptionally wonderf...

A.   18 January 2011: you love her so much, and you'd do anything to make her happy. Admirable sentiments on your part. And this desire is one that both you and your wife want. I was touched by how deep is your love and affection for your wife. And how strong is your ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend is not 100% honest with me.

Q.   Hey people I REALLY need some advice... My girfriend and I have been dating for over 4 years now and even though we had our rough periods (4months breakup) that happened almost a year ago we still are back together and are going strong.....

A.   18 January 2011: you have your work cut out for you with this minx. What does she use for a backbone? Jelly? Of course she can say: ''Do not contact me again. You are being played. If she was just emailing the local store with questions like 'do you have X prod... (read in full...)

Torn between my childhood sweetheart and a lovely guy

Q.   Okay, so i have gotten myself into a huge dilema. Seven months ago me and my childhood sweetheart met up and within a few weeks we were an item. I really loved him. He has been in foster care his whole life so i was always weary. Four months into ...

A.   18 January 2011: I'm not sure about one aspect of your post. You mention that seven months ago you met your 'childhood sweetheart'. How many years have you known him in total? Since you were a little girl? Because if you have known him since you were a little chil... (read in full...)

My insecurities have a strangle hold on me

Q.   Hi. I am hoping I can get some advice with a very troubling problem. I am in a relationship, I am 33 and boyfriend is 31. We were both late bloomers and I especially had/have problems with self-esteem. We have been together for 1 and a half years ...

A.   17 January 2011: your concerns may need more than just a counsellor. A psychologist may not be enough to address deep issues that are ruining your chance for future happiness. You do not need to be certifiably man to see a psychiatrist. All you need is a deeper ... (read in full...)

Her attitute toward sex is really frustrating

Q.   I'm getting discouraged and feeling really scared for our relationship. Ever since we started having sex my girlfriend has resisted me. I can't do anything to her without seemingly forcing her. It annoys me and make me feel like she doesn't want me ...

A.   17 January 2011: I am sorry you are facing this, but there may be a real medical issue. Or it may just be anxiety. Either way get her to the Doctor to eliminate the possibility that there is something medically wrong that is holding her back from enjoying sex. I... (read in full...)

Are there still people out there today who don't prescribe to whats on the idiot box?

Q.   hi im not sure how to say this but im a normal person, i have no trouble making friends it's just i really don't like to have sex and it's not like im gay or anything, i know that im not attracted to men. it's just i can't seem to find girls who are ...

A.   17 January 2011: yes there are genuine people out there. Reassess where you are looking for a partner. Bars and clubs will not get you the discerning thoughtful intelligent gal you are seeking. Keep yourself smelling good, looking trim, nice clean clothes ever... (read in full...)

There's no point in us being together, right?

Q.   hey guys.so i have been with this guy for 4 months now.like a month ago he went away to his parents.Another town.ever since he went there he hardly texts me, never answers my calls and whenever i ask why dont you answer my calls his usually reply is ...

A.   17 January 2011: he is callously putting you to one side. No explanation. It's a cruel and gut-wrenching way to treat you. Sadly he has broken up. Look at his actions. He's just not bothering to officially break up, just to keep his options open, in case he finds... (read in full...)

Am I taking this the wrong way?

Q.   I'm in the Navy currently on a deployment. Right before this deployment began, I had fallen in love with a girl. The feeling was mutual as she was the one to tell me she loved me first. Just before I left, we had promised to communcate as much as we ...

A.   17 January 2011: thank you for the follow up. She has recognised you are a really good guy. Hope it works out well. Best wishes Abella... (read in full...)

Am I taking this the wrong way?

Q.   I'm in the Navy currently on a deployment. Right before this deployment began, I had fallen in love with a girl. The feeling was mutual as she was the one to tell me she loved me first. Just before I left, we had promised to communcate as much as we ...

A.   16 January 2011: Hi, a long distance relationship is always difficult. You mention that right before this current deployment you met this girl. Things went well and she was the one to tell you she was falling in love, and you also felt the same. So the attr... (read in full...)

Do people in relationships tell each other everything?

Q.   When two people are in a relationship, do they have to tell everything to each other? example: - schedules? - appointments? - emails? My boyfiend went to a bodybuilding show in the fall, and I am not aware of that. I found a picture of h...

A.   16 January 2011: Thank you for the folllow up. That's very helpful. But on another level: that's even worse. It was a social event for him. He should have told you he was going. And asked you if you were interested in attending. No doubt he had already admired the ... (read in full...)

How can I bring myself to trust him after everything he's done?

Q.   Hi, ive been with my boyfriend nearly 2years now and i don't trust him at all, please read all of this, i need advise on alot of things. Lets start from the beginning, he was engaged to a girl who cheated on him more than once and 6months after they ...

A.   16 January 2011: You have a perfect right to be concerned. Look at all his actions. Not his pretty words. All the things and promises he's going to do when he gets round to it? Empty words designed to keep you 'keen and sweet' How about he faithfully promises... (read in full...)

Will she realise who I was in her life one day?

Q.   She is in an unhealthy relationship of almost 5 years with him. Many break ups were involved but she patched back with him thinking he might change one day. He is possessive in nature; I heard he slapped her before once or twice. For about a ...

A.   16 January 2011: It is heart breaking to see a person throw their potential happiness away, because they cannot break away from an abusive relationship. You did your best. You demonstrated that a relationship can be happy without abuse, without fights and without ... (read in full...)

Why does he always kiss and hug me?

Q.   hello, i met a guy at a party and when we were first introduced, he hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. As the night progressed, we got to know each other better. As i was leaving, i went around and gave everyone a hug goodbye. When i got to...

A.   16 January 2011: he's a confident demonstrative guy who is not afraid to get up close and personal to a girl. He's certainly not shy. But the big question does he hug and kiss every girl he meets? Or was it just you? If it was just you then he is not afraid t... (read in full...)

I'm unsure if I'm in love with him?

Q.   Okay so i've been dating this guy for 11 months. I know I love him and he loves me. But i'm unsure if i'm in love with him. Because i think theres a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I always want to spend time with him ...

A.   16 January 2011: You love him and you know he loves you. Your guy sounds like keeper. Love to me is not just the passion, it is also how caring and considerate he is. Are his actions thoughtful? Can you talk to him about anything? And he vice a versa? Is he a goo... (read in full...)

Do people in relationships tell each other everything?

Q.   When two people are in a relationship, do they have to tell everything to each other? example: - schedules? - appointments? - emails? My boyfiend went to a bodybuilding show in the fall, and I am not aware of that. I found a picture of h...

A.   16 January 2011: partners don't have to tell each other everything under a compulsion desire of their partner. Generally partners should naturally want to share a great deal of what happens (not every little thing - that's excessive and boring) However keeping ... (read in full...)

My BF is an Insecure Odd Loner. How Do I understand him better?

Q.   My bf frustrates me sometimes- I dont get him. We get along great, hes fun to be around and funny but he has a habit of joking 24/7.. it seems he can never be serious..even if I'm trying to be.I also have trouble knowing when he is serious - he ...

A.   16 January 2011: He's not a teen, he's a fully formed adult man, who may have a little residual baggage from being married to his first wife. And he possibly survived the first marriage by having to get things done by himself. And by 32 he may have started the ... (read in full...)

I haven't gotten my period yet! Is something wrong?

Q.   Ok.I am now 13 turning 14 in march. i got boobs when i was about eleven and hair way before that, but i havnt got my period. im really worried about this because i know that EVERY girl in my class has got theirs. and when i say that, im not ...

A.   15 January 2011: Nothing is wrong at all. You may be petite, and have low body weight. You could even be stressed over things. All the above will delay the onset of puberty. In decades long ago girls were often older than you before their first period arrived.... (read in full...)

I befriended the girl my husband cheated on me with....and I think he cheated again

Q.   i think my husband cheated on me,we have been together for almost 5 years and we have a beautiful 8 month old baby... but our relationship hasnt been as good as it used to. we have had problems bafore because he messed around with a girl(shes 18)she ...

A.   15 January 2011: You are right in the thick of wanting to believe him. And thinking of him and your baby. But what about you? You are important in all this. You have a right to expect exclusivity from your husband. If your husband cheats he's not honoring your join... (read in full...)

How do you get to a woman's heart?

Q.   I've not been real big in the dating world here recently so I need some advice. How to you get to a womans heart?...

A.   15 January 2011: Ahead of all the rest below: Smile at her, some direct eye contact, compliment her. Be respectful, not pushy, at all times. Now the rest below: 1. Listen to her every word 2. Remember the things that are important to her 3. Empathise with h... (read in full...)

He's the one and I can't let him go!

Q.   please help me..ive dated my boyfriend for over two years, we are young, but had plans to marry and have children, to the point where there names were picked out. however..we fight constatly endlessly and its gotten to the point where ive ended the ...

A.   15 January 2011: breaking up after a seriously intense relationship is totally horrible. No wonder you are distraught. Two years is a long time, and the first two years of a potentially significant long term relationship represent a very special time. So it is not ... (read in full...)

Is it possible to just carry on and pretend that there is nothing going on?

Q.   I'm 35 and friends with a 53 yr old guy who's married. We're really good friends, we completely trust and confide in each other, on the same wavelength etc. but we're strictly friends. Or were. Now I feel there's a slight tension between us. I will ...

A.   15 January 2011: it's very good that he's been helpful. But you know that all you have will be ruined if this relationship changes to something more than friendship. It is you who will have to have the strength to desist any escalation of the frisson of sexual tens... (read in full...)

She ditched me and now I'm not interested in prolonging the agony by meeting one last time, what do you think of my plan?

Q.   S and I had been dating for a while (3 years) and everything was great - no fights ever (seriously) and deeply in love (first love). Six months ago she went away to university and but we stayed strong until Christmas,...when things went down...

A.   15 January 2011: you are still hurting and grieving about the end of this relationship. So how you are feeling is completely understandable, in the circumstances. She initiated the break-up. She made it clear that the 'spark' had gone, for her. So you are entitled... (read in full...)

So many lies.....Can I ever trust my wife again?

Q.   I have been married for 3 years and just found out that my wife has done nothng but lie to me about almost everything including 2 1/2 of the years the marriage she has been texting and running in to one of her old boyfriend and about 6 months ago ...

A.   14 January 2011: what a picture of duplicity you have endured. It sounds like you entered this marriage in good faith. Whereas what did she want you for? Are you her 'purse' to help her stay afloat financially. She does not sound emotionally attached to you. Nor ... (read in full...)

How do I apologize to my friend?

Q.   pliz help i have a gal of mine so we have fought so i want to apologise to her so what are the spets to take so that i will not srew things up i love so much but it seems that she already have a boy friend and again im confused on the things to say ...

A.   14 January 2011: if she already has a boyfriend then the respectful action to take is to back off, and wait until she signals that her existing relationship has concluded. That may or may not happen. Give it six months. It could be mis-interpreted if you try appr... (read in full...)

She cheated and I forgave her. Now she's doing it again. How do I deal with it?

Q.   Hello, a year ago my gfriend cheated on me. We broke up for a short period then I forgave her. A year later, now, I discover she is still chatting online with the guy she cheated with. Frankly I want to dump her. It took me some stomach to take her...

A.   13 January 2011: She may be accomplished at manipulating men, bur stay strong, she's playing games with you. She'll keep looking, even if you do relent. It's time to find a genuine reliable girl, who doesn't hurl snide abusive and un-called for remarks. She does... (read in full...)

Is going out with other guys (one on one when in a relationship) ok?

Q.   Me and my Gf have been going out for about a year, she's really nice and i'm sure i wanna be with her forever... But there are just some guys that still talk to her, and ask her out one on one. should i feel uncomfortable with that? Because i get ...

A.   12 January 2011: If all she is doing is having innocent talks with other guys and not flirting then maybe you are seeing too much into these talks. But apparently not, since you say the guys are asking her out. In that case you should be uncomfortable. Some girl... (read in full...)

Should I let this threesome happen?

Q.   yea is it okay if my gf and i have a threesome i am not keen on the idea because its going to be a stranger plus its another guy should i let this happen?she told me it was going to be better i dont know what to do!...

A.   12 January 2011:  You are very right to NOT be keen on this very dumb idea. Your girl friend is perhaps sick of you or has or wants to get started with a new guy, and is trying to tell you it is over with you. A threesome is ALWAYS a bad idea. On so many levels it i... (read in full...)

I hate him and so do our teenagers! I'm only staying because of the toddlers.

Q.   My husband and I have been together 17 years and had 4 children. We have 2 teenagers and 2 toddlers. Our first 15 years together were great years. The last 2 years have been pure missery. My husband did a complete 180 and is a totally different ...

A.   12 January 2011: Everything is not fine in this relationship. And it is misery for you and your children. Your older children are being abused and your younger children are probably being scarred emotionally and scared by the tension. This bad atmosphere will take... (read in full...)

My crazy ex is ruining my life. What do I do?!

Q.   I'm really lost here people and I don't know what else to do? I've had a few difficult years of late. My Dad was diagnosed terminally ill and as a result past away a few months ago. I was with a girl who literally changed over night. Wh...

A.   12 January 2011: What a heartless maqnipulative woman your ex is. Change phone numbers, email address, everything. Ask your family not to provide her with your contact details. Anyone who provides your contact details to her (even family) are NOT your friends. Frie... (read in full...)

Is it normal to be my age and not have any interest in getting married?

Q.   I am a single and very intelligent 29 year old woman and I am happy with my marital status. I like being independent and free I also like my quiet time. I am the adventurous type of woman though, I like to travel, I would like to go parachuting, ...

A.   11 January 2011: There is nothing wrong with your outlook at all. Enjoy life to the full, because you can. It is your choice. And I hope you reach all your business, professional and personal goals. However it is a fallacy that all career girls cannot also have... (read in full...)

What do his actions mean, if anything?

Q.   this guy i like mesaged me on msn and asked if i still liked him i sayed ja and he wa like cool. what dose his actions mean if they mean anything...

A.   11 January 2011: He was curious to know if you liked him. The reason guys do this is when they are interested, but they don't want a rejection, if they initiate trying to interest you in them. It usually means he lacks the confidence to just approach a girl, with... (read in full...)

My husband doesn't know if he wants to be married anymore!

Q.   My husband of 10 years took a job 1 1/2 years ago 2000 miles away. I encouraged him to do it because I thought that 1) it was great for his career, 2) he was given per diem for flights to fly home or have me fly there, and 3) our marriage was ...

A.   11 January 2011: It is your decision to do what seems right. This has been a huge challenge for you both. And no doubt such strain has taken a toll on both of you. I am sorry you have been through so much. But perhaps he is getting back on track. He did attend t... (read in full...)

I can't seem to accept that she likes me and I get depressed when I don't hear from her!

Q.   I've met this girl who I think likes me. Infact, her actions suggest she certianly does. We've had 3 dates so far, and have talked a lot on msn inbetween. At the end of the third date she invited me for coffee and we held hands walking to her place. ...

A.   11 January 2011: It is good that you have met a nice girl. And I do hope it works out really well for you. Try to relax and curb your over-anxious tendencies. Because a relaxed confident person, who is at peace with themselves, is much more loveable. And more fun ... (read in full...)

Wonders about husband cheating?

Q.   I need someone to tell me if I did the right thing although I feel in my heart I did! I recently left my husband of 6 yrs and moved to another state, rented a house and got a job! He works construction so his work takes him everywhere and he loves...

A.   11 January 2011: you are NOT a quitter. What you have done is about self preservation. And it's a smart move by you. His actions indicate no respect for you. And he knows all the tricks (Linda listed as Larry in his phone list - classic from Cheaters... (read in full...)

He wants to video tape us having sex and I'm not comfortable with it

Q.   Okay so I've dating my boyfriend for 5 months I love him more then anything. I'm in college and he works. He's 34 years old and I'm 19 years old. I know there is a big gap but I love him and I feel like he does loves me back. so we had issues in the ...

A.   10 January 2011: a guy can seem like the nicest guy in the world, until you say no to him. Do not relent on this sex tape idea. If he is going to be with you for a long time, then WHY does he need the TROPHY of a sex tape? Who is likely to see this in the futu... (read in full...)

Cheerleader with terrible body-image issues

Q.   hey,, im very self conscious. I am a cheerleader and the flyer (the girl who is thrown up in the air) and so im small and i weigh just about 105 and i tell everyone that i weigh 95 because i feel if they know i weigh over 100 i will be called f...

A.   10 January 2011: Being the flyer with the cheer leaders is a great honor, and I can see it means a lot to you. Yet there will be other school highlights. And later career highlights, that will eclipse even your role as the flyer in the cheer leaders There are so m... (read in full...)

Am I weird for wanting to marry the only man I've ever dated?

Q.   Hi, I'm a woman, 23 years old, and I have only dated one man seriously in my life. He's my boyfriend at the moment, and we've been together since I was 17 (yeah, first real bf at 17, I was a late bloomer!) He loves me and wants to marry me, ...

A.   9 January 2011: Not Weird at all. Six years is ample time to get to know a person and deal with what's important and discuss your plans for the future. Time to get on with choosing your wedding dress! My best wishes to you both.... (read in full...)

Despite our different domestic situations, what is he revealing on his thoughts about me?

Q.   We are adults. We are not friends. But we share a nice friendly relationship since a year. We are friends on a social networking site too. And I have noticed that of late he visits it daily even when he doesn't do anything there. I really like ...

A.   9 January 2011: thanks for the followup. From the post I deduce that he is very courteous and well mannered. And that he is a very pleasant communicator. His remarks tell me that he feels comfortable with you, and he attempted to put you at your ease, and at the ... (read in full...)

Despite our different domestic situations, what is he revealing on his thoughts about me?

Q.   We are adults. We are not friends. But we share a nice friendly relationship since a year. We are friends on a social networking site too. And I have noticed that of late he visits it daily even when he doesn't do anything there. I really like ...

A.   9 January 2011: you mentioned your 'social and domestic situations'? Just so I understand the question better, does that remark about your 'social and domestic situations' suggest the you have differences, such as: Different country? One or both of you are marr... (read in full...)

Our mother in law was offended and her reaction has hurt our sister in law. How can we help?

Q.   My brother-in-law(BIL) has been married for a year and a half. For both of them, it's their second marriage. Both of them were very close and used to spend hours talking with each other. After marriage since they were working in different places, ...

A.   9 January 2011: Every so often, in a family, there is a Mother's in Law(MIL) with too much power. And the child, born of that mother, really should speak up. But are often too intimidated by their own mother to do so. And the sons-in-laws and the daug... (read in full...)

Cheerleader with terrible body-image issues

Q.   hey,, im very self conscious. I am a cheerleader and the flyer (the girl who is thrown up in the air) and so im small and i weigh just about 105 and i tell everyone that i weigh 95 because i feel if they know i weigh over 100 i will be called f...

A.   9 January 2011: You have a job in the cheer leaders, where you were chosen because others perceived you as the very best choice. But you sure are very tough on yourself. And I can see that you are very diligent and you aim to be very responsible and do the very... (read in full...)

*bella's friends

These are mutual friends, so *bella has added them and they have added *bella!

 agonyauntsanonymous agony aunt agonyauntsanonymous
 Amethyst  agony aunt Amethyst
 Ben ja min agony aunt Ben ja min
*problems* agony aunt*problems*
[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?]
0000BraveHeart0000 agony aunt0000BraveHeart0000
02DuszJ agony aunt02DuszJ
0Guest0 agony aunt0Guest0
1000lies1000sorrys agony aunt1000lies1000sorrys
1sunshine agony aunt1sunshine
3much4u agony aunt3much4u
a_maldita agony aunta_maldita
Abass Abassi agony auntAbass Abassi
adamskidude agony auntadamskidude
ailemaaax agony auntailemaaax
alex74 agony auntalex74
Ali_x agony auntAli_x
AlisaVali agony auntAlisaVali
Alkalign agony auntAlkalign
Allenwhite agony auntAllenwhite
alley96 agony auntalley96
allthatjazz agony auntallthatjazz
Aluenee agony auntAluenee
Ambassadeur Koko agony auntAmbassadeur Koko
Amy cares agony auntAmy cares
Anarch agony auntAnarch
Andie's Thoughts agony auntAndie's Thoughts
Andy00 agony auntAndy00
angelDlite agony auntangelDlite
angelic08 agony auntangelic08
angelvoice agony auntangelvoice
AnnalisaV agony auntAnnalisaV
anonem agony auntanonem
Anonny agony auntAnonny
Anonymous 123 agony auntAnonymous 123
anonymous12345150 agony auntanonymous12345150
anonymous2016 agony auntanonymous2016
anonymous206 agony auntanonymous206
Anonymousmale1 agony auntAnonymousmale1
answerfromtheheart agony auntanswerfromtheheart
anya jayne agony auntanya jayne
ArtisticBiscuit agony auntArtisticBiscuit
Artistry agony auntArtistry
AskCatherine agony auntAskCatherine
AskEve agony auntAskEve
Atsweet1 agony auntAtsweet1
audrey millicent agony auntaudrey millicent
Aunty Susie agony auntAunty Susie
AvgGuy1 agony auntAvgGuy1
Awkward_and_Confused agony auntAwkward_and_Confused
Ayan Ganguly agony auntAyan Ganguly
B123 agony auntB123
badger543 agony auntbadger543
Barnes66 agony auntBarnes66
bat1410 agony auntbat1410
BazingaToZulus agony auntBazingaToZulus
BE125 agony auntBE125
beautifulwoman agony auntbeautifulwoman
Been there   Now over it agony auntBeen there Now over it
Beile agony auntBeile
Believe what you see agony auntBelieve what you see
belle1 agony auntbelle1
BettyBoup agony auntBettyBoup
Billy Bathgate agony auntBilly Bathgate
bini magna agony auntbini magna
birdwriter agony auntbirdwriter
birdynumnums agony auntbirdynumnums
blessing80 agony auntblessing80
Blod agony auntBlod
blue_warrior agony auntblue_warrior
Blue10 agony auntBlue10
bluecow agony auntbluecow
blueskyday agony auntblueskyday
boo22 agony auntboo22
boogie4 agony auntboogie4
Briggy agony auntBriggy
bronzed adonis agony auntbronzed adonis
BrownWolf agony auntBrownWolf
bubbletea agony auntbubbletea
C. Grant agony auntC. Grant
Candid Cally agony auntCandid Cally
cantpretendanymore agony auntcantpretendanymore
Capri2 agony auntCapri2
captainh agony auntcaptainh
carefree agony auntcarefree
Caring Aunty A agony auntCaring Aunty A
caringgirl agony auntcaringgirl
CaringGuy agony auntCaringGuy
cattycakes agony auntcattycakes
celtic_tiger agony auntceltic_tiger
cheers agony auntcheers
chickpea2011 agony auntchickpea2011
chigirl agony auntchigirl
ChiRaven agony auntChiRaven
chrysie agony auntchrysie
Ciar agony auntCiar
CindyCares agony auntCindyCares
CJH agony auntCJH
Claraw1 agony auntClaraw1
cloran14 agony auntcloran14
clueless8989 agony auntclueless8989
cmarieky agony auntcmarieky
CMMP agony auntCMMP
code_red agony auntcode_red
Crazysecret agony auntCrazysecret
Crissydavelle agony auntCrissydavelle
cupid lover agony auntcupid lover
cupidus agony auntcupidus
cute angel agony auntcute angel
Daisy_Daisy agony auntDaisy_Daisy
DancerGirl1984 agony auntDancerGirl1984
Danielepew agony auntDanielepew
dannythatsme agony auntdannythatsme
Darrell Goodliffe agony auntDarrell Goodliffe
DarrellG agony auntDarrellG
Dave356 agony auntDave356
dayvide agony auntdayvide
dean93 agony auntdean93
dearkelja agony auntdearkelja
Deeksha agony auntDeeksha
deirdre agony auntdeirdre
DenimandLace44 agony auntDenimandLace44
denis49 agony auntdenis49
Denizen agony auntDenizen
Denizli agony auntDenizli
devont agony auntdevont
Devoted love agony auntDevoted love
dharshanie agony auntdharshanie
DieHard88 agony auntDieHard88
dineshbhati agony auntdineshbhati
Dionee' agony auntDionee'
dirtball agony auntdirtball
Disappointment_Ghurl agony auntDisappointment_Ghurl
DisenchantedMan agony auntDisenchantedMan
Dodds agony auntDodds
donna.keenan agony auntdonna.keenan
Donna35 agony auntDonna35
donofanewage agony auntdonofanewage
DoubleL agony auntDoubleL
Dr.LanceMerryweather agony auntDr.LanceMerryweather
DRAGBOY agony auntDRAGBOY
DrPsych agony auntDrPsych
eddie agony aunteddie
eddie85 agony aunteddie85
eek agony aunteek
EFM94 agony auntEFM94
ellsie96 agony auntellsie96
EmilyTheStrange agony auntEmilyTheStrange
empty-1 agony auntempty-1
Erick Rens agony auntErick Rens
erico agony aunterico
eternallyinfinite agony aunteternallyinfinite
Euphoria30 agony auntEuphoria30
Euphoric29 agony auntEuphoric29
eyeswideopen agony aunteyeswideopen
Fatherly Advice agony auntFatherly Advice
Fefi agony auntFefi
Felicity160 agony auntFelicity160
femmenoir agony auntfemmenoir
fi_the_tree agony auntfi_the_tree
fishdish agony auntfishdish
fishy fish agony auntfishy fish
followtheblackrabbit agony auntfollowtheblackrabbit
Forge agony auntForge
Frank B Kermit agony auntFrank B Kermit
frogs84 agony auntfrogs84
fullmetal agony auntfullmetal
Gabrielle Stoker agony auntGabrielle Stoker
Gaea agony auntGaea
Garamba agony auntGaramba
Garbo agony auntGarbo
Garm agony auntGarm
GD agony auntGD
GeeGee255 agony auntGeeGee255
Gherkinsaregrim agony auntGherkinsaregrim
gimmeansers agony auntgimmeansers
Glacier agony auntGlacier
goldie22 agony auntgoldie22
Got Issues agony auntGot Issues
Grayscreetch agony auntGrayscreetch
Guardian wings agony auntGuardian wings
H8Reality217 agony auntH8Reality217
HAPPYMAN MAGEZA agony auntHAPPYMAN MAGEZA
HappyPlace agony auntHappyPlace
haveiafuture agony aunthaveiafuture
HayleyAlice agony auntHayleyAlice
Hellofriends2014 agony auntHellofriends2014
Help from Lisa agony auntHelp from Lisa
Helpmeeee agony auntHelpmeeee
hendrietta agony aunthendrietta
HisGirl0516 agony auntHisGirl0516
holeymoley agony auntholeymoley
Honeygirl agony auntHoneygirl
Hotchick169 agony auntHotchick169
howcomehoney agony aunthowcomehoney
hustler.bustler agony aunthustler.bustler
I am available agony auntI am available
IanHenryCooper agony auntIanHenryCooper
Ilha agony auntIlha
Ima FreAk!  agony auntIma FreAk!
ImmortalPrincess agony auntImmortalPrincess
Intrigued3000 agony auntIntrigued3000
Invincible agony auntInvincible
Irish49 agony auntIrish49
Ivyblue agony auntIvyblue
izzygurl agony auntizzygurl
jadedpearl agony auntjadedpearl
janniepeg agony auntjanniepeg
Jayne wayne agony auntJayne wayne
JDinCali agony auntJDinCali
Jeanette82 agony auntJeanette82
Jessica M Payne agony auntJessica M Payne
Jessica1350 agony auntJessica1350
jls022 agony auntjls022
Jmtmj agony auntJmtmj
john michael lewis agony auntjohn michael lewis
jpcomputer87 agony auntjpcomputer87
jrns96 agony auntjrns96
judgedick agony auntjudgedick
Juliet79 agony auntJuliet79
just say lovely agony auntjust say lovely
justmen agony auntjustmen
Justneed2know  agony auntJustneed2know
k_c100 agony auntk_c100
k4ren agony auntk4ren
Kalyani agony auntKalyani
Karlos83  agony auntKarlos83
Keeley345 agony auntKeeley345
KeighleySky agony auntKeighleySky
Kendle agony auntKendle
kenny agony auntkenny
kim.2013 agony auntkim.2013
kingjoe king agony auntkingjoe king
KingZeus agony auntKingZeus
KlassyKirsty agony auntKlassyKirsty
kloren82 agony auntkloren82
KristenJ agony auntKristenJ
Kutiedamsel agony auntKutiedamsel
la petite belle agony auntla petite belle
Lady in Love agony auntLady in Love
Ladycandy2911 agony auntLadycandy2911
ladyInLove2 agony auntladyInLove2
lalanay1 agony auntlalanay1
landomando agony auntlandomando
Lasterloh agony auntLasterloh
lawncare agony auntlawncare
Lexine07 agony auntLexine07
like I see it agony auntlike I see it
lillylightly agony auntlillylightly
Limpet agony auntLimpet
linzey agony auntlinzey
little lollypop  agony auntlittle lollypop
Little Miss Love agony auntLittle Miss Love
LivingWithBadDecisions agony auntLivingWithBadDecisions
LJCX agony auntLJCX
llifton agony auntllifton
Lola1 agony auntLola1
Lola333 agony auntLola333
looloo123 agony auntlooloo123
love wife agony auntlove wife
lovehel agony auntlovehel
Love-Wisely agony auntLove-Wisely
lOvex3Jenny agony auntlOvex3Jenny
Lucky786 agony auntLucky786
lucy.whittaker agony auntlucy.whittaker
Mabugs agony auntMabugs
macdubh712 agony auntmacdubh712
Madalo 1 agony auntMadalo 1
maisy1 agony auntmaisy1
malvern agony auntmalvern
marianox agony auntmarianox
Mark1978 agony auntMark1978
MarlonT agony auntMarlonT
MaskOn agony auntMaskOn
masquerade711 agony auntmasquerade711
Maua agony auntMaua
maverick494 agony auntmaverick494
me7654321 agony auntme7654321
MenLoveMe agony auntMenLoveMe
mfj78 agony auntmfj78
Militaryman1234 agony auntMilitaryman1234
Milo117 agony auntMilo117
Milo118 agony auntMilo118
mima agony auntmima
Mina_Bhamji agony auntMina_Bhamji
mirabelle1-3 agony auntmirabelle1-3
mis_2017 agony auntmis_2017
mishi 1 agony auntmishi 1
miss frank agony auntmiss frank
Miss35 agony auntMiss35
MissKin agony auntMissKin
missy_25 agony auntmissy_25
Mistercatbean agony auntMistercatbean
mj390 agony auntmj390
mrspiggy agony auntmrspiggy
MsSadie agony auntMsSadie
mum2two agony auntmum2two
Myau agony auntMyau
mystiquek agony auntmystiquek
N91 agony auntN91
naley agony auntnaley
Nehemie Mb agony auntNehemie Mb
NFenix agony auntNFenix
nirotam agony auntnirotam
nisha23 agony auntnisha23
nisreen agony auntnisreen
Nittynora agony auntNittynora
no nonsense Aidan agony auntno nonsense Aidan
NORA B agony auntNORA B
Not good enough agony auntNot good enough
notconfused agony auntnotconfused
ocean425 agony auntocean425
Odds agony auntOdds
OhGetReal agony auntOhGetReal
okito agony auntokito
omg.its.me agony auntomg.its.me
Ormskirk360 agony auntOrmskirk360
Pac-Man18 agony auntPac-Man18
passionatelynumb agony auntpassionatelynumb
patersonOx agony auntpatersonOx
PaulDove agony auntPaulDove
Pazima agony auntPazima
peekn'boo agony auntpeekn'boo
Peregrine_UK agony auntPeregrine_UK
person12345 agony auntperson12345
peteloevely agony auntpeteloevely
PeterPan agony auntPeterPan
Phil052 agony auntPhil052
PRETTY KITTEN agony auntPRETTY KITTEN
princessjasmine agony auntprincessjasmine
princessparkles agony auntprincessparkles
Pureflame agony auntPureflame
Pussycat Akeela agony auntPussycat Akeela
Queenie2015 agony auntQueenie2015
quintonwayne agony auntquintonwayne
RAINORFIRE agony auntRAINORFIRE
rasblak agony auntrasblak
rayray72 agony auntrayray72
rc1 agony auntrc1
rcn agony auntrcn
reef95 agony auntreef95
remy agony auntremy
RevMick agony auntRevMick
Rey agony auntRey
rhub agony auntrhub
Richard.S agony auntRichard.S
ricky177 agony auntricky177
riya sen agony auntriya sen
Rock chick agony auntRock chick
rohit nair agony auntrohit nair
RoseLovex agony auntRoseLovex
RubyBirtle agony auntRubyBirtle
RUKM agony auntRUKM
ryeann agony auntryeann
Sad eyed gurrl agony auntSad eyed gurrl
Saeyoung agony auntSaeyoung
Sageoldguy1465 agony auntSageoldguy1465
Sahara z agony auntSahara z
Sallyn11 agony auntSallyn11
Sam Wilson agony auntSam Wilson
samia23 agony auntsamia23
sammi star agony auntsammi star
sammy621aa agony auntsammy621aa
sandy san agony auntsandy san
sanetlaagan agony auntsanetlaagan
sanguine303 agony auntsanguine303
sanza agony auntsanza
Seeker360 agony auntSeeker360
SensitiveBloke agony auntSensitiveBloke
Shadow Rose agony auntShadow Rose
shalley agony auntshalley
shameless agony auntshameless
Share Bear agony auntShare Bear
shelly5 agony auntshelly5
shescute agony auntshescute
shrodingerscat agony auntshrodingerscat
singinbluebird agony auntsinginbluebird
Sionell agony auntSionell
Skeez agony auntSkeez
sleeptimegirl agony auntsleeptimegirl
Slippers  agony auntSlippers
smeedle agony auntsmeedle
sneha09 agony auntsneha09
So_Very_Confused agony auntSo_Very_Confused
Solidus  agony auntSolidus
Songwr1ter agony auntSongwr1ter
soul83 agony auntsoul83
Staceily agony auntStaceily
Stayc63088 agony auntStayc63088
Sterlight agony auntSterlight
stillstrong agony auntstillstrong
sugarplum786 agony auntsugarplum786
suman-mishra agony auntsuman-mishra
sup!! agony auntsup!!
suzzzque269 agony auntsuzzzque269
sweetlove96 agony auntsweetlove96
TAKSHSHEELA agony auntTAKSHSHEELA
TasteofIndia agony auntTasteofIndia
tby1 agony aunttby1
the_phoenic agony auntthe_phoenic
Tiggzy agony auntTiggzy
tinkercharlie agony aunttinkercharlie
Tisha-1 agony auntTisha-1
Tom Obler  agony auntTom Obler
Tottochan agony auntTottochan
tre101 agony aunttre101
TrinityHunter agony auntTrinityHunter
Trinklett agony auntTrinklett
Ugo vera agony auntUgo vera
ukjay85 agony auntukjay85
usc8231 agony auntusc8231
Ushley agony auntUshley
vanita agony auntvanita
violet_tears13 agony auntviolet_tears13
virgomaniac agony auntvirgomaniac
VitaminZ agony auntVitaminZ
Vixxxy agony auntVixxxy
VSAddict agony auntVSAddict
warblerbird agony auntwarblerbird
Welsh Uncle Dave agony auntWelsh Uncle Dave
weysally1972 agony auntweysally1972
Wheeler agony auntWheeler
when nothing goes right go left agony auntwhen nothing goes right go left
wherelifewouldtakeus agony auntwherelifewouldtakeus
Whos that chick xxx agony auntWhos that chick xxx
WickedPoet agony auntWickedPoet
Wisdom agony auntWisdom
wiseoldman agony auntwiseoldman
wrathykins agony auntwrathykins
Xearo agony auntXearo
xian31 agony auntxian31
xinhua agony auntxinhua
xnickx agony auntxnickx
xoxemilyxox agony auntxoxemilyxox
xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntxTheAlmightyDuckx
xtwinklex agony auntxtwinklex
xxx.unknown.xxx agony auntxxx.unknown.xxx
Y_v agony auntY_v
yeknom_nam agony auntyeknom_nam
Yos agony auntYos
young_and_confused agony auntyoung_and_confused
yours2015 agony auntyours2015
YouWish agony auntYouWish
Yung.N.Stylish23 agony auntYung.N.Stylish23
Zacmcgraw agony auntZacmcgraw

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.359418000000005!