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... Send *acdubh712 a private message | | | *acdubh712's profile:Helping people has always been something I felt compelled to do. I was a Police Officer for a few years and now I am doing something else that does not allow me to help people as much as when I was the "Pole-eece." However, my job now has also given me even more experience weeding out dishonesty than when I was a Police Officer; this also adds a unique perspective on people and "peopleisms."
This site suggests writing something in this part that explains why you are qualified to help people. Well, I would say there are a few reasons. One, I was a Police Officer and was not the type to just show up on a call to do the bare minimum. Cops can wear many different hats, even on the same call or in the same situation so having to do this multi-role job gave me a unique perspective on life's good and bad situations.
Also, when I was growing up I was picked on for a time, mainly because of my weight...that is until I stopped taking it. You know boys will be boys, get into a fight or two and the picking stops. I know how dangerous it can be to fight nowadays, but you don't have to physically fight to fight. We have to fight for our self respect sometimes because there are sometimes when, even though we respect ourselves others still won't. This is unacceptable if YOU respect yourself and others around you but you do not get this respect in return. Anyhow, havving been picked on as a child allows me to sympathize with people going through this same ordeal.
My last qualification is this: in my early 20's I made some poor choices in my life and these choices not only affected me but they also affected my loved ones. Some of these choices put a wedge between my parents and me and this rift with my parents actually caused tension in the early part of my marriage. I have been blessed enough that this rift is about 95% recovered. So, in short, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks.
My responses are often blunt and for that I do not apologize. If a question is asked it needs to be answered very honestly because you have to face whatever problem is there or it will not go away. |
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I'm having a hard time finding a boyfriend. Why arn't guys attracted to me, they same way they are to my friends?
Q. I am 20 years old and I have having a hard time finding a boyfriend. I live away from home at my university and when I go out to bars, my friends have no problem picking up guys or getting guys to dance with them. I do not think I am unfortunate ...
A. 9 October 2011: I'm gonna go with you YouWish on this one. You're probably just too good for them. You should take that as a compliment. However, if what you find in the bar is what you're looking for at this stage in your life then maybe it is a confidence ... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing by breaking up with my boyfriend?
Q. I'm breaking up with my boyfriend today, and I just need some support that I'm doing the right thing. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. In January we moved in together. He and my other roommate really didn't like eachother and ...
A. 7 October 2011: I can tell by the way you wrote out your post and explained your reasons for the beak up in an orderly fashion that you have your "stuff" together. Based on that and for the reasons you cited in your post for breaking up with him, I think you are ... (read in full...)
My wife has gotten so fat, I can barely have sex with her!
Q. When I married my wife she was smoking hot. I would say an LA "8". Everywhere we went cars honked at her, I couldn't take a piss w/o a guy taking my barstool and taking his shot. Even women hit on her So we got married. As the years ticked by ...
A. 25 September 2011: I think you should be more worried about WHY she got like that. You should be worried more about her than your own feelings because she could have a serious physical or emotional issue going on. To be honest, your last two paragraphs are ... (read in full...)
My binge drinking days are done...but will friends always think of me as a party animal?
Q. Hello I wonder If anyone has been in the same situation as me ... I have realised that I am not a nice person when I am drunk, for the last few years I suppose I have gone off the rails, drinking far too much when going out, doing things I regret, ...
A. 14 September 2011: Well lass, I have never been much of a party animal myself, but I can say this. I think maybe you're a little too worried about what people think of you. You stated in your post that you have had low self-esteem before so it is understandable that ... (read in full...)
My abusive ex-girlfriend has came back in my life, how should I treat her now?
Q. I had abusive girlfriend for 16 months before I ran away from her apartment in June this year. She was 2 years younger than me. Outside, I don’t think there could have been beautiful girl I have to see to date on this on earth like her, inside s...
A. 14 September 2011: Well lad, it's obvious from what you have said about her that she is a crazy, narcissistic, insecure lass that really needs help and YOU sir should not touch her with a 10 meter cattle prod. Personally, I would steer clear of her and here is why: ... (read in full...)
What's my problem: my appearance or my attitude towards sex?
Q. Dear cupid, what is wrong with me? I am 30 yrs old female, physically handicapped and I use one axillary crutch to move and I am petit. I have nice features or at least I think!I mean, I am not unsightly:)This is the problem: I have never had a ...
A. 28 July 2011: To me, it sounds like you have the right attitude even though it is not necessarily the easiest road to take. Personally, I do not feel anything is wrong with people fornicating when they first meet as long as both people know exactly what that ... (read in full...)
I cant get a boyfriend no matter what!
Q. I'm pretty, smart, a talented artist, funny, and down to earth (according to me,) but I can't get a boyfriend for the life of me! I have dated lots, but either I'm not interested, or we go out a few times and then the dude disappears. In m...
A. 31 May 2011: Sometimes, when you seek it, you cannot find it. I had a hard time getting girlfriends in the past but it was ALWAYS when I told myself "screw it" and stopped worrying about getting a girlfriend that I got one. Perhaps you are thinking about this ... (read in full...)
I just found out that she's cheating on me. What should I do?
Q. helo everyone i just found out now now that my girlfriend is cheating on me. my body is so weak right now. my heart beat has way way up. what should i do about this? the girl i thought i was going to marry....
A. 31 May 2011: I think you should tell her to "Right, Face!" "Forward, March!" Trust me, I know that's hard, but you'll have less heartache in the long run. That is, unless she REALLY proves to you that she won't do it again. However, this is not likely. Sorry ... (read in full...)
I want to marry one of my friends, but her response to that isn't good...
Q. Hi friends plz plz plz help me, i am in big big trouble, i've a friend and now i want her as my girl friend because i want to marry with her, she is not giving me positive reply, i want her to tell her parents about me so that i may proceed but she ...
A. 31 May 2011: I realize your culture is different and where you are at, there are still plenty of arranged marriages. However, you are going to get the western take on it. If she doesn't want to marry you or be your girlfriend, sorry dude. Tough luck. You ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend stayed out for the night and told me she had to share a bed with another man! This is unacceptable to me. What does everyone else think?
Q. My partner went on a night out with her work mates and missed the late train back. See was with two females and 1 male - so they got a family room at a hotel. When she got back the next morning she told me she had to share a bed with the male...
A. 31 May 2011: I agree with the answer that is posted. You will never know what happened between them. If she was a faithful girlfriend that had no intention of cheating on you then she would have placed her hind end on the floor if he was going to insist on ... (read in full...)
How can I get pregnant quickly?
Q. hi i am currently trying to conceive i would like some advice on the any quick ways to get pregnant? or anything i can do to get pregnant faster? i have been with my bf for 2years and have had one misscarraige before we have been trying again for...
A. 25 May 2011: Ovulation prediction kits, a medicine called Clomid (if you can get your OB to give it to you), sexual positions that offer deep penetration, putting your legs up on the wall for a while right after he cums, maybe following the ovulation predictions ... (read in full...)
Should I let her go? My wife says she loves me but is not in love with me.
Q. My wife told me she loves me, But not in love with me. how should i react to a statment like this. She's been comming to me with these crazy idea's. Like wanting to move to FL. from MI and discussing what would happen to the kids if we were to di...
A. 13 May 2011: She doesn't love you in "that way" anymore. That is what it means, but she's just too afraid to say it out right for fear of hurting your feelings worse than she already is. Look for signs of cheating...... (read in full...)
He is on holiday with his ex wife and kids, and I havent even had a text from him!
Q. My partner has taken his ex wife and children on holiday this week. He went on Monday and is due back tomorrow. We don't live together officially but have been seeing each other for about 18 months and I love him and he says he loves me. He stops at ...
A. 13 May 2011: Just from a guy's perspective here, it is VERY suspicious that he would go on holiday with his ex-wife. I know there are children involved but still, that is beyond my limits. I did the "player" thing one time in my life and this sounds like ... (read in full...)
I am crushed. I read what she wrote about my size and don't how I am going to work this, or our new LDR, out with her.
Q. I need help with a difficult situation. I met a girl about three months ago through a work friend and we hit it off. We have been dating since then and I feel as if the relationship is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. ...
A. 9 May 2011: Honeypie hit the nail on the head, especially with the first sentence of her post. To be quite honest, I would be honest with her and tell her what you saw. And, in an adult like fashion, I would make her feel lower than whale s*** for what she ... (read in full...)
Guys, do you like tall girls?
Q. Question for the guys, Do guys prefer a woman to be tall? Not taller than them, but not too short? Why do some guys dislike dating short women? Is is to do with the sex? lol ...
A. 9 May 2011: I don't know what the deal is with those guys. To answer your question, HELL YES! I like tall women. Tall is sexy. PERIOD. NO IF'S, AND'S, OR BUT'S ABOUT IT. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend thinks something that isn't true and is really upset about it!
Q. hi I went with my girlfriend to a falentine ball in february. while we were there a friend asked me to dance. So I asked her is this ok. and she said yes. when i came back se was really upset at me. she said she saw me kiss the girl . and so in ...
A. 19 April 2011: I agree with dirtball on one point; don't apologize for something you didn't do. Now, I don't quite share the same hardline stance that he dirtball does though we are thinking along the same lines. I feel that your GF does have some underlying ... (read in full...)
Love don't live here anymore
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 9yrs.We have 4 boys, but i know i dont love him in that way anymore. He says he still loves me, but yet he cheated on me? I know he stays for income reasons, he has none. Is it wrong and selfish that i want ...
A. 19 April 2011: Fine display! Way to lay down the law (literally!)! Well, good luck with ya. ... (read in full...)
Wife is away, does husband want to play?
Q. Can anyone please tell me why a married man has made it a point to tell me that his wife is out of town on business for a few days? Is this an innocent statement or is there a reason he is saying this to me?...
A. 18 April 2011: I say he's dropping a hint...he wants you to get in the sack with him. ... (read in full...)
I love her but she hurt me so I don't know what to do now....
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for two years now. Recently we got into a huge argument. As a result of the argument I went over her house to talk to her. I told her that I wanted to forget about everything and get try to make it work between us. She ...
A. 18 April 2011: "She is supposed to cut him off but I don't want to be with her anymore because of it." ----- This statement is the part of you not blinded by emotion and is the one you need to listen to because in all honesty, she might cut him off but probably ... (read in full...)
He won't respond to my text messages, he doesn't pick up his phone and I haven't seen him in 3 days because of World of Warcraft!!!
Q. So my boyfriend just started playing world of warcraft with his brother. They used to played it, but my bf quit because uni started and there physically was not enough time. He told me he used to stay up til 5am playing WoW during the summer and ...
A. 18 April 2011: I would tell his a** to choose: me or the game. If he chooses the game the so be it. You can't go down that road because you've already experienced firsthand how unhealthy this is. If he is addicted then he has a problem. It's UNHEALTHY and you ... (read in full...)
I don't want to go out to have drinks/dinner alone on my birthday and end up looking like a total loser to everyone else!
Q. Hello all.. I'll be turning 22 in a few days and I'm not sure what to do. I've been in a pretty low place in my life lately. I don't socialize at all, I barely talk to anyone except for my bf who lives 3hrs away. I was hoping to be able to spend...
A. 18 April 2011: Anonymous 123 said it. You should be honest with your folks so that you can go home and spend your B-Day without...well she said it. However, if you can't bring yourself to do this, why would you look like a loser going out by yourself? I'd t... (read in full...)
Tips for keeping a relationship casual. Anyone?
Q. I am a 25 year old guy, virgin, and never had a serious relationship before, never been in love. I'm just looking for any advice or points of view. I started dating this girl a few weeks ago. I have no experience in relationships, b...
A. 18 April 2011: Maybe you need to talk to her and make sure you both understand the direction of this relationship. I mean, it will be an uncomfortable situation to talk about (potentially) but you cannot expect her to assume your thoughts just as you cannot ... (read in full...)
Masturbatio & Sex Duration worries/troubles
Q. I am a 27 year old virgin I do watch porn quite a bit too. What I have noticed is that when I masturbate, it takes a few strokes/seconds before I climax, and it is possible for me to do this 4/5 times an hour. Is this normal? If I ever have ...
A. 17 April 2011: Well brother, I think if your GF has a high sex drive then you two need to get it crackin'. If she does have a high sex drive then you should two should fit like one of them round pegs (no pun intended, AHEM!).... No seriously dude, I don't thik ... (read in full...)
Found number for escort from bf, should I trust him?
Q. Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. I know his last relationship before me was like three or four years ago. Anyway I found out last year he had a list of phone numbers of escorts in the area. I freak out but didn't c...
A. 17 April 2011: You know what the deal is. You're going to have to dig a little more and find what the deal is. You should not grudge him for what he did before he met you but come on, who is he kidding? Are you kidding yourself? You can't put your blinders on ... (read in full...)
I don't even know why my boyfriend is still with me!
Q. heyy!! so me and my bf have been together for like 8 months now.But it doesn't even feel like were together.he text just probably 5 times a day , hardly talk on the phone.I have no idea what he is doing, whom he is with etc.He never tells me ...
A. 17 April 2011: PLAYER ALERT! PLAYER ALERT! PLAYER ALERT! This man is USING you. He is keeping you on the side. Doesn't talk to you? Only texts you? Doesn't want to tell people that you two are in a "relationship?" I would put a million bucks down that he ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my GF that I don't want the orgy that she's looking forward to?
Q. my girlfriend really wants an orgy with 2 of her friends and their bf's + 2 other of my friends. everyone wants to do it, and we know that everyone will have a go of each other. but, i really dont want to do it. im not ashamed of my manhood,...
A. 17 April 2011: lovebird and Quantum are right. YOU JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. If she gets pissed off and says she's still doing it then she needs to be single when she does. If you're not comfortable with this then don't do it. If she loves enough she needs ... (read in full...)
I asked him if he loves me, he said no
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly 6 months. We've been having frequent fights lately and two nights ago we had a big fight. We then attempted to sort it out but because we were in a group, we sort of just brushed it off and went about as...
A. 17 April 2011: Girl, your week long break idea is GOOD. Thumbs up for you for being an adult about it and sticking to your guns. Now lookie here, some people do have different views on what love is. For some people it takes longer to develop into "love" than ... (read in full...)
Retroactive Jealousy is driving me insane. Help!!
Q. I need help in dealing with Retroactive Jealousy. I’ll keep this as short as I can. Kevin (my bf) was in love with me since school. I didn’t feel the same way and turned him down. A couple of yrs later, I fell for him and tried to approach him....
A. 17 April 2011: First, I'm sorry you're going through with this. Second, pardon me if I'm frank in my answer. Well, in my opinion, from what you have stated above, if you end this with him you will regret this later because it sounds like you two really care ... (read in full...)
I don't wish to continue in this triangle, will he leave his family to be with me?
Q. Hi , I have had a relationship for three years with a married man who still lives with his wife and has a disabled son age 25 . The Man I have been seeing has had two affairs in the past that his wife became aware of and tolerated . I really t...
A. 17 April 2011: Caring Guy had some good points. I would like to also say that he will most likely NEVER leave his wife for any mistress. CG said that you should probably leave and salvage some self respect; he's right. People would not this affair lightly ... (read in full...)
Love don't live here anymore
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 9yrs.We have 4 boys, but i know i dont love him in that way anymore. He says he still loves me, but yet he cheated on me? I know he stays for income reasons, he has none. Is it wrong and selfish that i want ...
A. 17 April 2011: Well lassie, this is what I have to say and pardon me but I'm usually frank during these responses. You're 26 - 29 so I'm assuming that your BF is probably in the same general age range? You've been together 9 years and have 4 children together ... (read in full...)
I don't like how my partner is treating our child..
Q. hi all, im 29 years old, got a little girl who i love more than anyone (14 months old) sometimes this is the problem with me and my girlfriend of 3 years. i dont look at her in the same way anymore. not because i dont fancy her or some...
A. 17 April 2011: Well, first and foremost, you are your child's advocate! If you feel that she is being mistreated it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY and OBLIGATION to ensure that your daughter does not get mistreated. I don't care if it is your GF whos is doing it. If ... (read in full...)
Why did I tell him I forgive you?
Q. Basicly I dont know why Im still upset about it. well this guy i was with, we were constantly on and off he had a foul temper, he kept telling me over and over "I want you" and I kept giving him Achance and I dont even know what way it was supp...
A. 17 April 2011: Maybe you don't believe in yourself? You say this guy is mean; do you really want to be with someone like this? If he is mean and treating you bad he does not deserve you. I can probably guess that if he is mean he has probaby been doing and ... (read in full...)
Isolated in a foreign country -- is my love for my husband enough?
Q. Hi, please advise. I moved to a difficult foreign country to be with my husband, sacrificing all my family, friends and life that I knew (even my religion) because I loved him, believing in my innocence that love conquers all. Because of the ...
A. 16 April 2011: You hit the nail on the head when you said "I feel like one day I may fall apart." Indeed you will, if this continues. First, hats off to you for taking a leap of faith like that; MOST people in the world would not have the cojones to do what you ... (read in full...)
I feel as if I can't take on one more thing, but if I don't I'll feel guilty. Please help.
Q. Im in a very tough spot in life.....What can i do, if I simply run out of energy taking care of others problems around me ? My life got out of hand a few years ago, living in personal hell. I can't list the things I' dealing with, because m...
A. 16 April 2011: Wow, first of all let me say that I'm sorry to hear of the things you are going through. I can't begin to imagine what it is like going through all of those things compounded together but I can only assume that some may partially be the result of ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is visiting strip clubs. What should I do?
Q. Hello, My husband went to strip clubs before we met. He has a group of friends that are often go. After he met me he didn't hang out with them for a while, and now recently he started going out with one of them again. He said they are just going to...
A. 16 April 2011: Well, my first question is, what makes you think he is actually going to strip clubs again? Are there signs or things that don't seem quite right with your husband? Or, do you think it is just paranoia? Now, I ask that because your own words are: ... (read in full...)
How should I tell my mom about our secret relationship?
Q. Hi everyone, thank you to whoever takes the time to read this. I'm a sophomore in high school, and I've been in a relationship for about six months now. My parents don't know about the relationship, (they're really strict, and Asian) but they know ...
A. 16 April 2011: Well, I believe that keeping it a secret and having your mother find out from someone else will make her suspicious of your relationship. Anyhow, I know you like this guy, and that's all good and well, but how long can you take it only seeing him ... (read in full...)
What do I do next? He treats me like a kid, not his GF. I turn off when he speaks badly to me.
Q. Hey guys, well i am still with my ex, we broke up but he said he would try for our relationship, if you read my other question.....well things are going better, but he still treats me like a kid. He never ever talks to me like a adult. i had too ge...
A. 16 April 2011: I think this dude has some serious issues that he needs to get worked out; if he is already verbally abusing you, because that's what it is, then this may progress to physical abuse.
Lookie here, you are a woman, not a little girl, and you need... (read in full...)
My ex ignored me and it hurt like hell. Now he's wished me Happy Birthday. Should I respond?
Q. Hello,Im hoping to get some advice on the following situation. Thanks in advance. I moved to Europe and met a guy that i really liked and was in a relationship with for 3.5 months. (We are both 28 years old). I got attached very quickly. I was mean...
A. 16 April 2011: This guy is stringing you along because he is a player. If he didn't answer his phone all weekend I would put my money down that he was cheating on you with another woman. Then to TEXT you to say that he isn't ready for a relationship?? Excuse me ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a 25-year-old man to have wet dreams more than four times a year?
Q. My question's very simple. Is it normal for a 25 yr old man to have wet dreams more then four times a yr? ...
A. 16 April 2011: Well, let me ask, how often do you get some play or...self release? If you never empty your product then I would say it's probably normal. ... (read in full...)
My sister just walked in on me wanking & I think I'm going to die of embarrassment!!!
Q. Well no easy way to ask this so i'm just gonna blurt it out. My sister just walked in on me wanking and i think i'm going to die from embrassment. This is so much worse than i could imagine. What do i do? Do i say anything to her? Or do i treat it ...
A. 16 April 2011: Dude, if your sis said something like that to her friends, I would consider that a betrayal. She is your sister so she should not tell anyone. ... (read in full...)
My sister just walked in on me wanking & I think I'm going to die of embarrassment!!!
Q. Well no easy way to ask this so i'm just gonna blurt it out. My sister just walked in on me wanking and i think i'm going to die from embrassment. This is so much worse than i could imagine. What do i do? Do i say anything to her? Or do i treat it ...
A. 16 April 2011: Everyone's right, it will pass soon and she shouldn't say anything. You want some security? Pray you find some dirt on sis and she knows it; then she FO SHO won't say anything. ... (read in full...)
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