A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i'm in a relationship with a married man, and currently living with him. He is seperated from the wife,yet he communicates with her daily. he says we're just friends and he has several other sex partners. i caare for him deeply but I can't deal with this heartache. how can i go on and leave him
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): This is not a good situation for you so I would leave. This man needs to have numerous women to take care of him and you will never come first with him, you never did apparently.
You care for him deeply, but is he worthy of that? I say no. He puts himself first and he is using all of you for his own selfish gratification. People who do this will never have a real relationship with anyone.
The pain will be hard to take, but you are in pain staying with him and over time there will be a lot more pain if you stay.
Just leave and try to build a new life with someone who puts you first.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (5 January 2011):
 You're not in a relationship. You're just friends. Can't be in a relationship by yourself.
He's using you and you are letting him. Move out, or make him move out. He can go be with one of his other lovers, and you can start rebuilding your life and stop settling for a man who doesn't love you.
He doesn't love you.
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A
female
reader, crazy beautiful  +, writes (5 January 2011):
you're being used, the guy is a douchebag.
he misses the security of marriage- provided by you.
but he likes the freedom of being single- provided b other sex partners.
dont be somebody back up, or their rebound, or one of their choices.
it's going to hurt like hell, so cry, scream, lie in bed for as long as it takes you to feel ok again ;-)
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (5 January 2011):
 What a Cad! He has the nerve to remind you that you and he are, ''JUST friends''. Now there is total confirmation that he thinks it is OK to enjoy the benefits of living with you. But he qualifies his position to underline that he does not love you.
And perhaps you are worried that you will not find another partner if you do leave. Except you will never find out if there is a special loyal faithful loving man out there for you, while you stay with your current partner.
But next time leave don't leave yourself open to hurt and pain. Unfaithful men get away with their callous behavior because women want to believe he will change. He will not.
And he is putting you at risk of a sexually transmitted disease while he spreads himself so thin through the dating scene, cheating on you, cheating on his wife and willingly entering into how many other short term relationships?
Even if he did not have a wife I would hope you could be encouraged to leave him. He tells you he has other women. He can't let go of his wife either.
He does not just cheat on his wife. He cheats on you. He appears to be incapable of being faithful. What a terrible situation for you to enjoy. If his wife had sense she would divorce him immediately.
But you are in the middle of this nightmare. How can you plan for a happy idyllic future with this man?
He keeps his wife on tenderhooks, yet she has Just hopes that he will change. As do you.
It is no way to live. Hoping, rationalizing, forgiving, wondering.
Walk away, because an insecure future with a man incapable of fidelity is no way to live. You are setting yourself up for further heart break the longer you stay with him. If your resolve starts to falter come back to DC for more support. Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (5 January 2011):
all of us feel pain when leaving our loved ones
so if you decided to leave him there is no way to fully avoid the pain, tough there are things that can make you deal with it like travelling abroad with a good group of freinds and getting your self very buisy with social activities and family untill you find a new love then you well fully get over him (because love cures love )
p.s if you decided to stay with him he already has many sex partners so you are not the one who is ruining his marriage
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