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Is going out with other guys (one on one when in a relationship) ok?

Tagged as: Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 January 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 23 March 2011)
A male Singapore age 30-35, *ayLow writes:

Me and my Gf have been going out for about a year, she's really nice and i'm sure i wanna be with her forever... But there are just some guys that still talk to her, and ask her out one on one. should i feel uncomfortable with that? Because i get rather sad inside when she does that.I mean what if a relationship blooms while she meets other guys?

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A male reader, HayLow Singapore +, writes (23 March 2011):

HayLow is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all those comments.. It's really helpful. She does tell me when some guy asks her out, but she does not have the guts to reject, because she feels bad doing so.

BTW, i forgot to tell you guys that only my parents and a few friends know about this relationship, so her parents dont know about us, and some of these guys dont know she's not single anymore. We dont want to proclaim tis relationship in public yet, because we feel its not yet time to do so.

Back to my point. She tries to reject the offer, but fails at times, because like i said, she feels bad rejecting. That is kinda what ticks me off, although i try not to show it... But should i be pissed and upset inside? Because i know that those guys do not know that she is taken. But i'm not sure if she is giving wrong signals to these guys... Please help! Your comment is greatly appreciated! =) THANKS! God Bless!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011):

Contrary to the popular notion that you should tell someone to see anyone they want and leaving it at that, you really should initiate a text conversation with her and let her know its forever for you. You'll also know if you can trust her if she texts you back you can.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011):

I would tell any woman I was involved with to see any body she wanted any time she wanted to see them.

But to pack anything she has at my house and take it with her because she won't be coming back.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011):

My boyfriend would absolutely hate that! He is 30. So you are not wrong. If I ever did anything like that it may be a deal breaker but that is him lol.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (12 January 2011):

kenny agony auntI can se where you are coming from here, most guy's would be uncomfortable with their girl being asked on a one to one with other guy's. Are you actually there when these guy's ask her out, or does she tell you this after the event?. When you are out you can normally tell who is available and who is not by signals and body language, maybe she is giving off the signals of a single girl, maybe she laps up the attention, who knows. I think you should tell her how much you like her, and express that you are uncomfortable with guys asking her out, and just let the chips fall where they may.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (12 January 2011):

dirtball agony auntIt all comes down to trust. How much do you trust her?

You should share with her how you're feeling. Don't make her feel guilty, but just tell her that you're worried she isn't content with you anymore that she's going out with these guys.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (12 January 2011):

Abella agony auntIf all she is doing is having innocent talks with other guys and not flirting then maybe you are seeing too much into these talks.

But apparently not, since you say the guys are asking her out.

In that case you should be uncomfortable.

Some girls keep chasing chasing chasing. And in the process they keep thinking the grass is greener some where else. In the process they lose a good guy. Like you.

Your girl should know how to be subtle and not send out signals that she is 'available' when she is not. And if a guy is still trying she has to firmly let him know she is not interested if she is in a relationship.

Failing that, if your girl enjoys this attention then she is not fully committed to you.

It may suit her to allow these interactins. Because perhaps she is still looking, even though she claims to be your girl.

If she keeps allowing these interactions then YES she will possibly meet someone she likes, more than you.

If she is genuine about you and her, then she will stop the obvious flirting with the other guys.

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