A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in the Navy currently on a deployment. Right before this deployment began, I had fallen in love with a girl. The feeling was mutual as she was the one to tell me she loved me first. Just before I left, we had promised to communcate as much as we could and learn as much about eachother during the 6 months I am to be gone. For the first several months thats just the way things went. Always communicating and writing and sharing stories with eachother. Time was flying by. Things seemed great.Lately she has been only writing me back every 2 to 5 days for the last 2 months. Briefly too. She told me work has been catching up and she has been just too busy to get back to me. I have been trying to be understanding about it with her. Lately, she went 6 days without a word. My last letter from her, we were having a converstation and then it just cut off abrubtly. Nothing about working a lot or anything. No heads up she might be too busy to talk to me. I was left in the dark and finally after 6 days I wrote her to her. Now we are arguing over how her work is her life and her job and I need to deal with it. I don't know how to handle this. Since work picked back up for her, she is hardly talking to me and barely saying much when she does. She tells me to accept it, and I don't know how to... I want to communicate with her more than I am now, to keep our relationship strong. but I can't get her to write me without her getting upset that I'm bothering her... What do I do? I feel like she is blowing me off? She still cares for me, but I'm worried about too much work and not enough communication to change that... I only have 2 months left before I'm home...
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (17 January 2011):
 thank you for the follow up. She has recognised you are a really good guy. Hope it works out well. Best wishes Abella
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for your responses... She wrote me yesterday and told me about her previous relationship, the man she was with was very controlling and abusive torwards her. She turned to drugs to escape all the harm and pain he was causing and as a result, her businesses and employess suffered. She has since divorced him, recovered emotionally and physically and is beggening to make things up to her business and employees. She explained this to me that she is commited to making up for all the harm she caused others while she was trying to escape it all. She loves me still and needs me to understand that she is obligated to her work before she can commit to anything else (me). So I will stand by and still love and support her. Thank you guys for your help and answers...
Still though, the lack of communication lately is hard to deal with... I guess this is were my commitment and patience comes in..... Stay tuned!!
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 January 2011):
Hi, a long distance relationship is always difficult. You mention that right before this current deployment you met this girl. Things went well and she was the one to tell you she was falling in love, and you also felt the same.
So the attraction surfaced quickly. The time from her declaration of love until the day you departed was not long.
This means that the emotional connection had not had time to develop to the depth required, for stronger bonds to secure her to you.
Someone at her end could have put some doubts in her head about you. Doubts that who can demolish when you see her in person.
You know her much better than I, but try to keep calm about the next suggestion. Remember that from a distance, and without knowing her, i am just dredging up all the usual possibilities when this ('back off' request from the one on land) occurs.
So this next suggestion may be completely NOT be happening.
But it is possible that she is wavering in her feelings for you. You can rekindle the flame when you return, and see her in person, and take her to dinner to a place that is very nice.
It is way too early for you both to be disagreeing, unless the feelings (your feelings or her feelings) have changed. Logically if nothing has changed your end, then the change signals a change at her end.
It could be something said, or missed or interpreted when letters to and from were occurring more regularly.Possibilities are that her interest has waned or that something else is consuming her time or that she has met
someone, but she's not sure of them yet, so she's keeping her options open by not breaking with you, yet, in the event that her new relationship fails before you return.
She's asked for less communication. So do as she asked.
Back off a little.
See how she reacts. Keep it polite, don't confront. Words on a page can look so much more ugly than talking face to face. Her current situation could alter. Let her be the next one to write.
And take your time to reply. If she still cares that will make her anxious. If she's lost interest she will be relieved. But if her current land interest fails (and as long as you have stayed polite and not accusatory) then it is likely that her interest will rise again. This is a tactical response that will keep things sweet until you return and yoi are able to see her in person. And smarter tactics than starting a Long Distance spat or a paper war, when there is nothing you can do about the situation. Such a paper war would end your budding relationship prematurely. Patience can win in love better than impetuous rushing in too early.
In two months time this may all turn out to be a small blimp and the passion may resume even better than before.
Two months is not a long time to wait for true love, if that is what exists between the two of you.
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A
female
reader, ssaarraahh +, writes (16 January 2011):
 if shes busy then ull have 2 put up with that. u cant really force her as well.
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A
male
reader, EPocket  +, writes (16 January 2011):
 u r not taking this wrong way nor u got strange feelings . all u feel abt is RIGHT . been there once and all i did is just doing wat she want as i found out that she had someone :)
well . 4 passed .. 2 to go . do not mess ur life thinking this now . if its wat she want . she is the one to blame later ;)
dont misunderstand things and keep good will up till u get home and everything will clear for u ..
tutoring ur self now with this pressure is useless . it`ll just get things worst :) as far as i know :)
one of the biggest mistakes men do in relationships when they require more than wat there women are willing to give . a woman would walk away if she had to give wat she dont think it can be given . but would give her soul for u if she felt u deserve it ;)
a cpl of months are not far . enjoy ur time ;) but try not to fall in love with any :P once u get home . all will be ok . am assuring u :)
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