Like what
she writes?
... Add *bella to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
|
| Latest articles: Self Confidence - an easy step by step guide to help you develop self confidence.
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 June 2013: SELF CONFIDENCE I started writing an answer to a question, namely http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-change.html and my answer just grew and grew. I recognized it had become an article rather than an answer after I ex...
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 December 2012: One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
Cheating, Players, Betrayal and Trust issues. Should a Player or a Cheat be forgiven? - a collective resource on these issues, with some great responses that may help you.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 September 2012: CHEATING Today the feature topics are Players and cheating and Trust issues or can you Forgive or should you forgive if your partner Cheats? And the collective wisdom on DearCupid.org on Cheating on Betrayal, Loss of Trust and Forgiveness or n...
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
This question has 28 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2012: Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2011: Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
What are the attributes and conditions for a successful relationship that works? And what hinders the development of a successful relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2011: I would be intersted to hear from others on what attributes and qualities represent essentials in a successful relationship. And what are deal breakers that can ruin a relationship? By a successful relationship I mean one where both parties a...
Where is the world going? And yes this does affect relationships.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 March 2011: "Where is the World going? And yes this does affect life and relationships." The original question received from an anonymous female in the UK aged 26 to 29 and called "Where is the UK going" inspired this article. And you might think this does ...
Tunnel vision positive thinking - used to your advantage
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 December 2010: Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same. That's when it's much harder to feel positive. Even if we cou...
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
This question has 15 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 December 2010: You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
|
He criticizes me and sends mixed signals, should I stay with him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend a year now... I am in love with him and feel so low when im not with him.. but I feel as though he is mentally torturing me. He doesnt liek me wearing make up and the other day he gave me an ultimatum betwee...
A. 27 April 2011: Mr Bitter-n-Twisted is trying to hurt you. Which really demonstrates the calibre of this guy. Leave him with his ex. She is his standard.
I do understand that you still have some feelings for this guy. But his behavior towards you demonstrates that... (read in full...)
I need some good comebacks for this sleazebag!
Q. Hi! A bit of help needed. I live in a shared house with four guys and two girls. Most of the time it is really great only something happened today and I want your opinions. It concerns one of the guys. When I first moved in he was overly friendly ...
A. 5 March 2011: i do not see what he is doing as funny, even though i tried writing some (comedy writer are all safe!) I do think you should enlist the support of the other guys, because i think they will assist you to bring him into line. Like you, as a studen... (read in full...)
He's a senior colleague of mine. But does he really like me? I'm not sure
Q. I work in a professional firm in the city in I was born outside USA and have top academic and professional credentials and am closeted gay. There is a senior colleague in our firm who is gay. I have told him I am gay and we spend a lot of time toge...
A. 5 March 2011: post script; I am not suggesting the you, nor he, ever intend to do the wrong thing. But all employees should be aware of the boundaries. These boundaries are there for a reason. The reason he is so worried about sexual harassment charges and the ... (read in full...)
He's a senior colleague of mine. But does he really like me? I'm not sure
Q. I work in a professional firm in the city in I was born outside USA and have top academic and professional credentials and am closeted gay. There is a senior colleague in our firm who is gay. I have told him I am gay and we spend a lot of time toge...
A. 5 March 2011: You are well qualified and it is good to receive professional mentoring and encouragement to further your career at work in a professional sense.
And i have no issue with you entering into a public or private same sex relationship with this man ... (read in full...)
We were engaged, broke up, I contacted him, he sent me a Valentine's gift and message. I rejected him, but I still love him! What should I do?
Q. I had a boyfriend. After a year and a half he proposed. We were engaged for 4 months and we broke up because he started a business with his family and told me nothing about it. I didn't like it because he was totally invested in it and practically ...
A. 5 March 2011: Hi,
thank you for the follow up.
Your English was very clearly written, no problems there, even if English is your second language.
If you had made it clearer in your first post that he had explicitly told you that he 'did NOT love you' and inc... (read in full...)
"I'm working on it"...I'm not sure what she means
Q. I was/am (you see, I don't know) together with my partner for one year. She is 39 and I am 41. I have a child from a previous marriage, a lovely 12 year old girl while my partner is childless but wants children. We live 2 hours from each other, me ...
A. 5 March 2011: she is still thinking things over. She is still not sure. Her first priority is still her parents.
She may not be genuine about wanting children as 39 is getting very late to try to get pregnant for the first time.
Her parents may consume her time... (read in full...)
"I'm working on it"...I'm not sure what she means
Q. I was/am (you see, I don't know) together with my partner for one year. She is 39 and I am 41. I have a child from a previous marriage, a lovely 12 year old girl while my partner is childless but wants children. We live 2 hours from each other, me ...
A. 5 March 2011: she is still thinking things over. She is still not sure. Her first priority is still her parents.
She may not be genuine about wanting children as 39 is getting very late to try to get pregnant for the first time.
Her parents may consume her time... (read in full...)
We were engaged, broke up, I contacted him, he sent me a Valentine's gift and message. I rejected him, but I still love him! What should I do?
Q. I had a boyfriend. After a year and a half he proposed. We were engaged for 4 months and we broke up because he started a business with his family and told me nothing about it. I didn't like it because he was totally invested in it and practically ...
A. 5 March 2011: You and he dated for eighteen months. He felt confident enough about his feelings for you, to propose marriage to you. Guys don't do that unless they feel good about a girl. You became engaged. And remained engaged for four months
You wanted him ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend broke up with me twice. She's receiving counseling and takes full responsibility. Should I give it another shot?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me, twice. The first time was like a weekend, I agreed to get back together. The second time, I was tired of being taken for a chump and that was that. It's been 3 months now. We've been talking a lot. She's been ...
A. 4 March 2011: although you feel a degree of emotional involvement i do think you should move on. If she keeps cutting you adrift there has to be a time when you say 'enough is enough. Each time you have to compromise and accept her walking away you will begin to... (read in full...)
I need some good comebacks for this sleazebag!
Q. Hi! A bit of help needed. I live in a shared house with four guys and two girls. Most of the time it is really great only something happened today and I want your opinions. It concerns one of the guys. When I first moved in he was overly friendly ...
A. 4 March 2011: he went on the aggressive tack to try to mask that YES it was deliberate. He was testing how far he can go. Be alert for him also categorising one of his distasteful remarks (when challenged about it) as just him 'joking'.
Perhaps gently shame him ... (read in full...)
My family are wealthy. His is not. Should I pay for everything on our first date?
Q. Please give me advice.. I have a boyfriend. He was my friend when i was in junior high school. Now he lives in another city. Two months ago he found me on facebook. We share all. Two weeks ago he said he loves me. And so do i. So we decide to have ...
A. 4 March 2011: A good rule is to 'start as you mean to go on' If you care about him then it would be more respectful for you to spend your first date at a place/places he can afford. He has invited you. It will not make him feel good, if, on the first date you... (read in full...)
He's not at my level career or education wise!
Q. So I don't know if I'm wrong to be concerned and feel bad about getting more serious with him simply because our future career views are different. I currently have a Bachelor's degree in Alternative Medicine and want to continue my educatio...
A. 4 March 2011: if he had a solid ten year plan mapped out for his future i would not be so concerned. Because there are some amazing people in the world who have achieved incredible things, even though they did not complete their education.
But he does not seem... (read in full...)
I need opinions, on the letter I'm about to send her
Q. Hey there Dear Cupid I have a question on Romance, I'm young and naive when it comes to this so bare with me. As of three months ago my ex and I were forced to split up by her parents. We have known each other and been best friends for 7 years now,...
A. 3 March 2011: The world is full of lovers where the things they sent never reach the person - because a well meaning but interferring relative steps in and stops them from receiving the letter/parcel.
So yes send her the love letter.
But only give it to her if y... (read in full...)
It feels like he's just not committed to us...
Q. Hey all, Why are some guys so afraid of commitment? My boyfriend and I have been dating for close to 3 years now and we're both still early 20's. My ideal marriage age is somewhere between 24-26 but recently, he just told me he thinks anyone wh...
A. 3 March 2011: you are not being unreasonable at all. It is my belief that when an adult man, of 21 or more, meets a woman he wants to spend his life with, that he knows that fact, within the first year of meeting her, and from commencing a relationship with her... (read in full...)
Now he's blocked me and it looks like it's all over. First I dated his friend then him. How can I resolve this. Heartbroken.
Q. I am totally confused and have never had to deal with anything like this. The story is sort of long but let me break it down for you. I met X, a younger guy, through a friend. I was going through a break up and while X was never someone I wo...
A. 3 March 2011: it really hurts to lose someone over an issue that could be discussed. But when someone we care about presses our buttons, then the feeling of betrayal is five times worse.
Clearly the first guy really seriously liked you. And he was hear... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I will regret losing him forever
Q. Maybe this is stupid, but I just can't seem to let go of him. We have so many issues, and yet I'm worried I'll never share anything special with anyone like I did with him again. How can you will yourself to believe you will find better after the...
A. 2 March 2011: You don't have to believe me.
But i do want to tell you that I am 100 percent cast iron confident and certain that you will find a new love and several others who will provide you with enjoyable times and amongst them all will be the joyous love... (read in full...)
Used and dumped by supposed 'good woman'. How do I get over it?
Q. how to forget and move on in my life after the deviation of being used for five years by a 'good woman' and then dumped. ...
A. 2 March 2011: Sometimes, when we lose someone, we realise later that the person has done us a favor. It seems this may be the case? And while the world is awash with fit happy good-living nice newly single (divorced or widowed) lovely ladies over sixty all with... (read in full...)
The only guys approaching me for dates are either weird or creepy
Q. This probably seems like a stupid problem but lately the only guys who have been approaching me for dates have been weird or creepy guys. It's really killing my self esteem. Some of them I gave the benefit of the doubt and went on one or two dates ...
A. 2 March 2011: Product recall time.
The contents are fine. But the packaging is attracting the wrong sort of clientele. Time to reinvent the presentation of the product and the packaging.
Also time to look at the current advertising campaign, because the focus is... (read in full...)
He criticizes me and sends mixed signals, should I stay with him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend a year now... I am in love with him and feel so low when im not with him.. but I feel as though he is mentally torturing me. He doesnt liek me wearing make up and the other day he gave me an ultimatum betwee...
A. 2 March 2011: he is way too judgmental and rigidly imposing his views on others. So he's vegetarian and you are not. Tell him to get over it, and not pass judge. It is ignorant and rude for him to pass judgment on what you are eating or drinking. Check if he we... (read in full...)
Family that never apologises...
Q. To begin I feel like the whole world is against me. I am married my husband's mother hates me. I am very nice, and polite to her. She loves to say mean things to me and I let it roll of my shoulders. After my son was born my husband and I moved a ...
A. 1 March 2011: i do hope you grow in strength and resolve to deal with the situation. It is good that you are determined to rise above this. Celebrate every move you make in the right direction. Best wishes, Abella... (read in full...)
My friend's boyfriend is messing around on her. Should I interfer?
Q. Hi, I'm Pink. I'm 18 and I have a boyfriend. My problem is not about my boyfriend, though. It's about his close friend Ralph, whom he also shares an apartment with. Ralph is 17, loves to talk, and, to hear my boyfriend say it, has a complica...
A. 1 March 2011: you can give his girlfriend support. But honestly? Is he worthy of being any one's boy friend? I think not.
But calling her attention to his latest fling will achieve achieve very little. For she will be the start of many.
Far better to down loa... (read in full...)
He makes me feel like a good wife and friend, but not like an attractive woman
Q. I've talked about this once before here, and if it's a complete repeat, I apologize. My husband is good about expressing his appreciation for things that I do around the house or for him. He talks to me about work things, etc. We have conversa...
A. 28 February 2011: Your follow up also helped me realise a Eureka moment. Although this was unintential on your part, i thank you for doing this. Please allow me to explain. Sometimes I have met an individual, aged older than you, on each occasion a person over 55-... (read in full...)
Family that never apologises...
Q. To begin I feel like the whole world is against me. I am married my husband's mother hates me. I am very nice, and polite to her. She loves to say mean things to me and I let it roll of my shoulders. After my son was born my husband and I moved a ...
A. 28 February 2011: you do not need to apologize for anything you did not do. This is submissive behavior. Where you hope that by being submissive that you will be safer from abuse.
You possibly learnt this behavior from childhood,
And it indicates low self esteem. ... (read in full...)
Facebook Ruined My Life
Q. Is it just me or is Facebook a total head-wreck? Personally, I see it as one big popularity contest. I mean it is so pointless. Why not go out and meet your friends for real, instead of giving yourself a headache trying to think of the 'coolest' ...
A. 28 February 2011: i'm with you on this.
I only joined it for a short period when a friend asked me to. But I found it so boring. Then I started getting friend requests from people I've never heard of. Deleting my page gave me great satisfaction. I would never retu... (read in full...)
Does a sociopath know that he or she is a sociopath?
Q. For those who have dealt with sociopaths, I have a question: Does a sociopath know he or she is a sociopath? In other words, a person who lives off using other people, seeing them as tools and objects, feeling no guilt...do they know they are...
A. 28 February 2011: Based on an experience I hardly want to recall i believe that a sociopath has absolutely no acceptance that anything they do is hurtful.
They almost have a detached curiosity and an achievement of satisfaction when they hurt, as if what they do i... (read in full...)
He makes me feel like a good wife and friend, but not like an attractive woman
Q. I've talked about this once before here, and if it's a complete repeat, I apologize. My husband is good about expressing his appreciation for things that I do around the house or for him. He talks to me about work things, etc. We have conversa...
A. 28 February 2011: I can tell you love him and want your marriage to continue. This is a horrible situation for you. You know he loves you, in his own way. He's told you twice and he thinks that's enough. You and I know it is not enough.
You have reached acce... (read in full...)
Does drinking make you mature?
Q. Does drinking make you mature? I don't drink and people think it's because I haven't matured and not responsible. Some people say to me "Oh man up, I started at the age of 13. In my opinion I think that's daft! I've had a glass of alcohol today down ...
A. 27 February 2011: you sound smart, strong and independant. And you know who you are and what you want. I admire your strength. And i think you will do well in life
Best Wishes, Abella... (read in full...)
He's leaving on a long-planned trip; how do I keep some control?
Q. Hi. I have been seeing a man for 3 months. The very first night that we met, he told me that he was leaving for overseas in March for 7 months and that he wasn't looking for a relationship. I wasn't looking either at the time. We have so much in ...
A. 27 February 2011: No matter how many days, hours, minutes until he leaves you will miss him very much. You are already involved. And the sexual bond is already very strong. So it may be too artificial to try to stop though maybe you could try to taper it off. And ... (read in full...)
Taking the contraceptive pill and my periods have changed... is this normal??
Q. started taking the pill as directed from the first day of my period. i'm taking it at the same time everyday, but it seems to have affected my period. my period came properly and heavily for 4 days, then lightened off and almost disappeared for 2 ...
A. 27 February 2011: for the first month you are still not protected from pregnancy,as you need a full month on the pill for the protection to kick in.
However also in the first few weeks the hormones will be affecting you. So your body will react until things sett... (read in full...)
I'm depressed so often, and am so scared of my loved ones dying before I do. How can I help myself to move past this?
Q. Hello, I'm a 15 year old girl and recently I have been concearning myself about the deppressing thoughts I have been having. I keep thinking about death and how there's nothing I can do to prevent it from happening to me or my family, I'm scar...
A. 27 February 2011: yes, you most certainly should see your Doctor and get help as soon as possible, for your sake, please.
Because depression is horrible and tries to trick the brain and results in the person thinking things are much more negative than a person with... (read in full...)
Bra size.... how do I measure myself for correct sizing??
Q. how can i measure myself to make sure i am wearing the crrect bra size?...
A. 27 February 2011: when you go to choose a bra in a good quality place the trained fitters will measure you for size and cup size. Take a trip to one of the bigger stores with trained fitters and they will do it for you.
circumference alone does not tell the whol... (read in full...)
How can I get him to see it's not healthy for him? he's glued to his computer daily.
Q. My bf and I are a couple for two years (almost) - I'm 22 he's 25. I usually go to sleep around 12 at midnight and sometimes I talk to my boyfriend on the internet before doing it and he says "ok, I'll do the same". But he never does it! He's going...
A. 27 February 2011: he's addicted to his computer. In some countries this condition is treated very seriously and group therapy away from home are held to try to cure the addiction.
It will impact on his health, his weight, and relationships.
You could try to propo... (read in full...)
How can I get him to see it's not healthy for him? he's glued to his computer daily.
Q. My bf and I are a couple for two years (almost) - I'm 22 he's 25. I usually go to sleep around 12 at midnight and sometimes I talk to my boyfriend on the internet before doing it and he says "ok, I'll do the same". But he never does it! He's going...
A. 27 February 2011: he's addicted to his computer. In some countries this condition is treated very seriously and group therapy away from home are held to try to cure the addiction.
It will impact on his health, his weight, and relationships.
You could try to propo... (read in full...)
How can I get him to see it's not healthy for him? he's glued to his computer daily.
Q. My bf and I are a couple for two years (almost) - I'm 22 he's 25. I usually go to sleep around 12 at midnight and sometimes I talk to my boyfriend on the internet before doing it and he says "ok, I'll do the same". But he never does it! He's going...
A. 27 February 2011: he's addicted to his computer. In some countries this condition is treated very seriously and group therapy away from home are held to try to cure the addiction.
It will impact on his health, his weight, and relationships.
You could try to propo... (read in full...)
Why did my boy friend's breathing change? What did that mean?
Q. i was at my boyfriends house yesterday and me got into a pretty heavy make out session. i started kissing his neck and his breathing went all funny. he kinda took a massive breath in and then was breathing quickly and deeply. what does this mean? ...
A. 27 February 2011: you sexually aroused your boyfriend.
It is likely that he felt other changes in his body indicative of sexual arousal.
All credit to your gentleman boyfriend that he did not try to push the envelope further. And try to take things further.... (read in full...)
I feel as though my brother intervened in our relationship, and now I can't trust him. How can I fix this?
Q. Let's call my brothers friend L, and my Brother G. For the past 1 year and 2 months i have been in love with L... about 6 months ago i told him how i felt and got rejected. I found it strange when he came round asking G where i was, i was upsta...
A. 27 February 2011: You are angry because you feel thwarted by your perception of your brother's actions. And you feel that your brother's friend, a friend who you feel affection for, has been warned off by your brother. You have not destroyed relationships. That ... (read in full...)
Did she like me back and was I stupid in how I handled my feelings?
Q. So I had met this girl back last summer at my camp. We were both CITs [Counselors in Training]. I knew I was going to fall for her as soon as I saw her and tried to hold back my feelings as long as I could. I talked to her and while we had little in ...
A. 27 February 2011: Because you lacked the confidence to act, you instead faltered and delayed.
You are still just putting one little step into the water. A bolder approach would have been better accepted by this girl. When you like a girl, you let her know.
By yo... (read in full...)
Does drinking make you mature?
Q. Does drinking make you mature? I don't drink and people think it's because I haven't matured and not responsible. Some people say to me "Oh man up, I started at the age of 13. In my opinion I think that's daft! I've had a glass of alcohol today down ...
A. 27 February 2011: and a PS to my post:
I am not implying that all people who drink have trouble. They do not. Many are fine at pacing themselves. But others can't do that.
And the girl in the bar, who had been screaming at her boy friend, had been trying to convi... (read in full...)
Does drinking make you mature?
Q. Does drinking make you mature? I don't drink and people think it's because I haven't matured and not responsible. Some people say to me "Oh man up, I started at the age of 13. In my opinion I think that's daft! I've had a glass of alcohol today down ...
A. 27 February 2011: hi
I am an adult and I made a choice to never drink alcohol. It is a decision I have never regretted. And i think i have a better life because i do not drink.
And yes people who do not drink will get pressure to drink. But it's all rubbish ... (read in full...)
How to avoid guys who flirt so strongly with zero intentions of being sincere ever?
Q. Well, I'm a person who has not yet found her life partner. I wasn't even in search of one when at 19 yrs of age I came across a guy who kept wooing me for about 5 yrs. When I interacted with any other suitor he detested it but never proposed me ...
A. 27 February 2011: please see my answer to your similar question posted today - the other question is titled 'how do i avoid cheating lying flirting men'
Regards Abella... (read in full...)
What can I do about this? My BF is always so sad
Q. I need help, My boyfriend is Always sad! he cant spend too much time with me without just being like "ok i want to go home now i've had enough for one day" he said he loves me but i dont feel it and when i tell him that, he doesnt try to show me it, ...
A. 27 February 2011: your boy friend is possibly ill with depression and urgently needs to see a Doctor. For the Doctor to make an assessment
Depression is not something you can catch from someone. Nor can you stop it happening. If your boyfriend has depression he will... (read in full...)
He makes me feel like a good wife and friend, but not like an attractive woman
Q. I've talked about this once before here, and if it's a complete repeat, I apologize. My husband is good about expressing his appreciation for things that I do around the house or for him. He talks to me about work things, etc. We have conversa...
A. 27 February 2011: Hi, The good thing is that you and he have a strong emotional connection. He trusts you and you mean the world to him. He completely comfortable with you.
First you want him to find you sexually attractive.
So how often do you single him out for ... (read in full...)
My ex is gone again,she never calls. I don't know what to do
Q. Hi thanks for looking at my page I need advice on this relation ship. Ok to start of I have meet this girl on a on line web site and I really feel in love with her. We have know each other for two yrs now. Every thing was great we hit it of good ...
A. 26 February 2011: hi MrMichael, I can tell this girl has really touched your heart, which only makes this situation so much tougher. While you were her secret LDR everything seemed wonderful. Because in the beginning I think she did come to trust and love you.
B... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
