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... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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Solutions please to reduce panic attacks? old school? New school? Or other options?
Q. Hey, yep its me again so thanks for taking the time to read my question. I haven't been at school for about a year now and now and my family and I are making the necessary changes for me to go back to school. Only problem is many schools round my...
A. 16 November 2011: and a little PS to the much loved xAlmightyDuck. It may mean little to you, but, as voted by ALL users who chose to rate your answers in DC, XAlmightyDuck is currently in positon number one in the TopAunts/Uncles list. I Just had to say ... (read in full...)
I wonder if family stress should be blamed for the loss of my cat to kidney disease? Or are there other factors that cause kidney failure ?
Q. Hi Readers, I lost my Cornish Rex Male cat in April of this year. He was like a friend to me and I am still very distressed about it despite having counselling and being on anti depressants. If there are any other cat lovers out there I was just w...
A. 5 November 2011: One of the factors in kidney disease in cats is thought to be (according to my vet) too much dry food.
Our cat loved her fresh meat, her prepared "wet" food. And she loved yoghurt. But she also loved dry food from time to time. Now I wish that she ... (read in full...)
My guy broke up with me because of family issues...
Q. In January I met this guy and at first I wasn't really attracted to him. I thought hey why not I might just give it a chance. We met for lunch really nice guy. He then ask me out on a date, I accepted and I met him for dinner. I was starting to ...
A. 3 November 2011: Have you started to date someone else or are you thinking of dating someone else?
And was that the person he saw you dancing with. He was certainly affected by a little jealousy when he saw you happy.
If he has medical issues like heart surgery ... (read in full...)
Could this be true? My friend is trying to convince me that "yes, this guy does love me"
Q. Alright so I have a slight problem. There is this guy that I really like... He and I have just met at the start of grade 10 and We've somehow become really close, we talk a lot, and we walk home together everyday, or when we can. Recently about two ...
A. 2 November 2011: You like him and he's giving you the signs that maybe he likes you. But there is something special about him, so yoú don't want to rush it and mess things up.
Smart move on your part.
And your friend is trying to convince you that he likes yo... (read in full...)
What should I do? My boyfriend has bad spending habits and he is too obliging to his friends...
Q. Doi you think this could be a problem later? What should I do? My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and we are talking about getting married. But I'm actually a little wary of how he handles finances and I'm worried that this will a...
A. 2 November 2011: I wonder if he has an ego issue, where his own insecurities mean that he Needs to be Needed? Not a good look. This is my rule: If the Bank will not take the risk and will not lend someone the money - then since when does an individual have mor... (read in full...)
She wants me to stop taking the pain killers after I hurt my knee otherwise she will leave me! Should I just leave her?
Q. hi guys ive been dating a woman for almost 2 years shes spoiled and is just a baby i dont make a lot of money but i do pay bills, take care of laundy, cook, clean i do it all.... recently i got hit at work in july by a truck so ive been in therapy ...
A. 31 October 2011: Sadly this immature spoilt girl needs to get real. She lacks empathy and consideration for your medical conditions that so do need medication.
If she is not mature enough to recognise that she deserves to lose her reliable kind bill payer, laun... (read in full...)
Solutions please to reduce panic attacks? old school? New school? Or other options?
Q. Hey, yep its me again so thanks for taking the time to read my question. I haven't been at school for about a year now and now and my family and I are making the necessary changes for me to go back to school. Only problem is many schools round my...
A. 31 October 2011: If you want to transition into going back to school ask if you can continue your lessons by correspondence for the first three months.
It will take discipline on your part, though you sound responsible enough to handle it.
Do not let these mo... (read in full...)
Should I choose to not marry him? And take action to get him to give me my money back?
Q. ive done something really stupid and need some advice as to what i should do. My boyfriend who i havent known all that long is from a diferent country. Possibly quite jealous and possesive. He works and so do i, but i make more money than him. he ...
A. 31 October 2011: Does your guy have a gambling or debts problem? Your money has either gone on Gambling or has already been sent back to his own family. .
I am not going to call him a fiance. He is not loving enough for that. Did he guy you an engagement ring? If i... (read in full...)
Solutions please to reduce panic attacks? old school? New school? Or other options?
Q. Hey, yep its me again so thanks for taking the time to read my question. I haven't been at school for about a year now and now and my family and I are making the necessary changes for me to go back to school. Only problem is many schools round my...
A. 31 October 2011: Well done that you have done all that your Doctors asked and that your situation is improving enough to get you back to school.
It has not been easy for you, I realise. But you want to go forward and you are motivated to make this work. Well done... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is telling me she is being abused, what do I do?
Q. My girlfriend is telling me that she's being verbally and now psyically abused. What is the best thing to tell her or do?...
A. 30 October 2011: Who is abusing her and in what context? And how old is she and what is her situation? Perhaps advise more background so that a better answer can be provided? I will watch for your follow up so I can come back to your question once you have added the ... (read in full...)
I need some help to cope with what's happening now
Q. PLEASE HELP! Okay, well I have been to the doctors about depression and they are just saying it's harmones but I am lower then average. I have used marijuana a few times to make me feel better and use it I don't have a lot. I don't smoke it ...
A. 29 October 2011: Please accept my commiserations as your current situation sounds horrific.
And it sounds like the NHS are fobbing you off just as they tried to do so to xThe Almighty Duck. But she has gone forward and so can you.
Please approach your local C... (read in full...)
Qeustions for the guys ...do you prefer bigger women ?
Q. Qeustion for the men. What do you think about bigger women ? Would you ever date one, or do you prefer smaller women, do you find bigger women attractive or do find slim women more attractive ? I ask this because well im trying to start dating and ...
A. 28 October 2011: Dear Almighty Duck I find your answers delightful and I imagine that you have a great quirky sense of humor too. And a interesting personality. I know you do it tough at times. But your great spirit shines through. Love can blossom when you... (read in full...)
What to do to stop feeling so lonely? I haven't felt like I've done something fun for a long time. It's getting me down.
Q. It's been a while since I've had a good conversation, it's been a while since I was sure I'd make plans and they would actually follow through. It's been a while since I've had this feel as I've started college. Everyone in my class is 2 years yo...
A. 28 October 2011: It can be very tough growing up and especially if you find that so called "friends" were not friends at all. But that is to your credit, to identify people as not as genuine as you thought, originally. But a lesson well learned that will make you ... (read in full...)
Is this world only for beautiful people with good fortunes?
Q. I am not good looking and have no confidence in myself at all. When I was 14, pimples started appearing on my head and lost my font hair. Since then, I have been shaving my head to make it look decent but I know girls get turned off my look a...
A. 28 October 2011: I can see why you are much loved at Quiz Nights. But I think it is time you started putting you first and practising the "Art of Selfishness". Make sure that every day you do one GOOD thing that is supportive of you or feels good for you or ma... (read in full...)
Why? I care so much for others. Yet I am the one being Cyber Bullied. Help me rise above this please?
Q. I finally thought I was okay, and didnt need to rely on strangers over the internet to help me through my life.. Guess I was wrong.. I havent been upset lately but now its all coming back. about a month ago, I went to a party and i regret it, but ...
A. 27 October 2011: hi,
Your teacher sounds very wise and honorable. I can see why you felt she was reliable.
it is OK to ask for a social worker with more empathy. You DO need a social worker. They can do very good things to help. But you need to feel comforta... (read in full...)
Why? I care so much for others. Yet I am the one being Cyber Bullied. Help me rise above this please?
Q. I finally thought I was okay, and didnt need to rely on strangers over the internet to help me through my life.. Guess I was wrong.. I havent been upset lately but now its all coming back. about a month ago, I went to a party and i regret it, but ...
A. 25 October 2011: hi
i can hear some strength growing in your voice. Which is good.
You will make new friends.
You just do not realise that yet.
But i also think you need to be calm with your social worker. The social worker may be over-reacting. Or mi... (read in full...)
Should I take my ex to court for slander?
Q. My ex and I broke up for about a year now, we broke up because she cheated, so I move on with my life. I have found recently she has been lying about me, like she did about her ex husband... she keeps telling to people I am a violent person, she is ...
A. 23 October 2011: hi I think you would have to check with a bona fide psychologist on that one. But i will say that the children will have already seen through her, and will possibly grow up to hate her. However if you can afford a Private Investigator? and you ha... (read in full...)
Should I take my ex to court for slander?
Q. My ex and I broke up for about a year now, we broke up because she cheated, so I move on with my life. I have found recently she has been lying about me, like she did about her ex husband... she keeps telling to people I am a violent person, she is ...
A. 23 October 2011: Your ex may well be doing all these things out of spite to deny you access to your child. Get thee to a lawyer. Negotiate the fees before you start. Set limits on the cost. And ask if you can do part of the job yourself as you are not made of money. ... (read in full...)
Should I take my ex to court for slander?
Q. My ex and I broke up for about a year now, we broke up because she cheated, so I move on with my life. I have found recently she has been lying about me, like she did about her ex husband... she keeps telling to people I am a violent person, she is ...
A. 23 October 2011: Reputation is everything. And any malicious hinting by her to smear your reputation is bad news indeed.
Consult a private investigator who may be able to do some discreet investigation on your behalf. And work in conjunction with a lawyer who is s... (read in full...)
Girl at school told me it's just a phase. It's not. What can I do about my love for my possibly gay PE teacher?
Q. Im 15 and i love my pe teacher but he never seems to notice me, my friend caught me staring at him in the cafateria and i had to spill my guts and she just told me its a phase and i'll get over it. but i know its not and i really want him both in a...
A. 22 October 2011:
Dear Alfonzo
I am sure that your PE teacher loves his job dearly. He studied long and hard to get that job and he wants to keep that job.
whether he is gay or not, he knows that one false move on his part and he could lose his job. and end up r... (read in full...)
My love crushes and unrequitted love have gone on for a while.Can I expect them to ever love me back?
Q. i am 13 years old. and i hav been in deep love with a guy i know for 3 years,(call him A) A does know i love him but he doesn't love me back.so i decided though at a very early age that i will wait for him to love me. i think he will even...
A. 22 October 2011: what a dear responsible friend you have. He knows you care about him. But he also believes that you are crushing on him, but that also you are too young to have a relationship with him. This makes him an honorable guy. perhaps where you are a little ... (read in full...)
I am in a slump and sick of being single. Where should I look to find a woman I want to share my life with?
Q. I'm sick of being single. I'm 33, I have no children, I have a job I hate, I have a home that still needs several grand in work to finish it. I've taken an almost 1 year sebatical from dating. I've learned that I went after women that needed take...
A. 22 October 2011: And I am sorry my post was longer than usual. But Rome was not built in a day. And I sensed a number of issues and wanted to touch on any that might be relevant and might be able to help
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
I am in a slump and sick of being single. Where should I look to find a woman I want to share my life with?
Q. I'm sick of being single. I'm 33, I have no children, I have a job I hate, I have a home that still needs several grand in work to finish it. I've taken an almost 1 year sebatical from dating. I've learned that I went after women that needed take...
A. 22 October 2011:
Hi
Great Answer from KittieS
I am going to list in priority order some things that I think may help. But you are the ultimate decider on this. My aim was to slowly take you on a journey to the point where your needs are met as a gradual proc... (read in full...)
I am a shy, gay and socially inept. How have others in my situation formed relationship? Could my cyber friend become more?
Q. I was inclined to pose to my problem because I am not sure what to do. Well, like most who come here. Anyhow, I am a gay man. I am also socially inept. And recently, I joined this international social network (quite ironic with the former comment)...
A. 22 October 2011: Hi,
I read your post and I really felt you are in a difficult situation. And please accept that while I am not gay, I truly felt that I want to reply to your post.
I learn lots from listening when I visit the all gay hairdressing salon where I ... (read in full...)
Why? I care so much for others. Yet I am the one being Cyber Bullied. Help me rise above this please?
Q. I finally thought I was okay, and didnt need to rely on strangers over the internet to help me through my life.. Guess I was wrong.. I havent been upset lately but now its all coming back. about a month ago, I went to a party and i regret it, but ...
A. 22 October 2011: Bullying is a serious serious issue. and One that you need some help and counselling to address.
You are welcome to visit DearCupid.org any time you need to. You are doing too much to help people who do not even deserve your help. If anything... (read in full...)
I suspect my son is gay and is going to move away because he doesn't want us to know
Q. My son is 30 and for a few year I've suspected he might be gay. As far as I'm aware he hasn't had a girl friend and the friends he seems to be close to have always been mixed sex couples. He has women friends but no relationship that I'm aware of. ...
A. 22 October 2011: I am sure that you do want to show your love, acceptance and support for yoru son at all times. perhaps he thinks you will not accept this? Whatever mis-interpretation he has made of your views and intentions you now have a chance to show him that ... (read in full...)
I don't want my father at my wedding. But he's said "i had better be invited".
Q. Im gettin married next year and while everything is perfect in the sence that im marrying the love of my life, I hav a huge problem concerning my father. Its a long story so i'll explain best i can my father suffers from a mental illness and also...
A. 22 October 2011: Your wedding is a most important day. And you have a right to a pleasant beautiful day without any fear of any kind of scene. No one has a right to ask to be invited. OK it is your father. But even close family need to respect that the bride and ... (read in full...)
Why don't the question askers read their mail?
Q. Hello all, From time to time as a regular Aunt on this site, I receive messages in my mailbox from people needing a personal reply to their problems. I am more than happy to help if I can and I do reply to all messages with help or information w...
A. 22 October 2011: hi Tom,
I have noticed that occasionally my reply remains unanswered. But then I finally get a belated reply apologising for the delayed response.
three such examples have included a lady so in fear of her personal situation that she mailed m... (read in full...)
My wife is burning herself out and I miss the days when we were students! How can I get to spend more quality time with her?
Q. In 2001, I lost my heart to 15 years teenager and to whom I got married March this year. She has been living with me and my parents since December 2001 and my parents considered her daughter. I think this space would turn minute if start ...
A. 21 October 2011: What a kind caring husband you are. And you realise that if your wife's health breaks down then she will not be able to do anything for a while. And while you support her neither will you be able to give as much to the business. The two of you need ... (read in full...)
Why is he being so distant toward me? What am I doing wrong? Is there really a reason why men do this sometimes?
Q. This is going to be long, but I feel like I have to let this be known, heard. I'm tired of hurting. But I don't want to end this relationship. I love my Freedom (well, his name really isn't "Freedom", but to protect his privacy I will call him, ...
A. 21 October 2011: I am sorry that you did not receive an answer earlier. and I do hope that your relationship with your guy is going well.
And I do hope he has become more affectionate? however perhaps he is a very spiritual man who likes to think deeply? Are you ... (read in full...)
Easter and a new relationship
Q. So I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 20. We're new into the relationship and Easter is coming up and I just want to do something cute and fun for him. I bought some small plastic eggs but I'm needing some help on ideas to make it fun. Should I put notes in ...
A. 21 October 2011: Easter has been and gone. I am sorry you did not receive an answer earlier.
Now Halloween is coming up.
I hope your relationship is still going strong.
For Halloween I suggest you work as a team. Get him to pick out the biggest pumpkin and ... (read in full...)
Are they just flirting? Or am I blind?
Q. Hello urm where to start.. I was going out with a boy who had just moved to where i live i have known from being a little girl as our family knew eachother, I will call this boy 'C'. Now about a month ago 'C' said he realy liked me and wanted to go ...
A. 21 October 2011: you are welcome Rebecca.
And I wish you the best in the future,
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
Scared and confused, should I marry him?
Q. hi cupids, ive been with my guy for 3yrs.we have a boy of 2yrs.he's been divorced from a previous marriage.he wanted to marry me last june which i refused.because of the way he treats me.i am very confused.i still stay in his house.i cry almo...
A. 20 October 2011: He cannot stay faithful to you, he cannot treat you with respect? He is abusive and unkind. He does not even know what is love. How could your parents be so duped by this terrible man that they did not discuss this with you first. Find a reason ... (read in full...)
B/f isn't an Australian citizen, has run out of money, no studies, no job, is addicted to poker...and he wants to marry me!!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months but I've got a few problem... 1.His not an australian citizen. 2.He came here to study and almost finished his diploma until he ran out of money because he spent it on going out everyweekend. 3.no st...
A. 20 October 2011: Dear Carmen
I am so sorry that this sorry apology for a guy is bleeding your dry of all the compassion that is in your heart now. And you believe in him. I imagine you seemed like the answer to all his dreams? Because the average person would just... (read in full...)
Are they just flirting? Or am I blind?
Q. Hello urm where to start.. I was going out with a boy who had just moved to where i live i have known from being a little girl as our family knew eachother, I will call this boy 'C'. Now about a month ago 'C' said he realy liked me and wanted to go ...
A. 20 October 2011: Your Vision is 20:20
Yes they are flirting.
Your guy obviously likes girls. It was "C" who said he
"really liked me and wanted to go out"
But is he ready for you?
And she is flirting with your C - that is cheating on her guy.
If a guy... (read in full...)
When can I openly Cross dress? I am not gay. I just want to Cross dress. In what countries is cross dressing most accepted?
Q. Women can wear men's clothes then why can't men wear women's clothes? like saree and salwars and all? why is there not support for men to wear women's clothes? I am a 15 year old , almost 16 year old male and i love cross dressing since i wa...
A. 20 October 2011: There are many men who dress as women as it suits who they are. But often they do keep it a secret for a very long time. It takes a lot of inner confidence to handle the comments of people who are threatened or mis-informed about a Cross Dresser, ... (read in full...)
To me he is disrespectful. Why mess me around? Is this how men act when they mess up?
Q. My boyfriend and I were supposed to go to Jamaica yesterday. I booked the ticket for us back in April. He left to his home country in August and the first thing I said was remember our October trip. Anyhow three days ago, I kept asking if he had b...
A. 19 October 2011: aw that is a beautiful update:) Your Heart is with this guy. You are his champion. So I do hope he meets all your expectations. Hopefully his CV is in A+good order (don't do it for him - he has to package the product (himself). And he has to win... (read in full...)
To me he is disrespectful. Why mess me around? Is this how men act when they mess up?
Q. My boyfriend and I were supposed to go to Jamaica yesterday. I booked the ticket for us back in April. He left to his home country in August and the first thing I said was remember our October trip. Anyhow three days ago, I kept asking if he had b...
A. 18 October 2011: Jonas is Brilliant!
What a perfect quote, from Jonas:
"I always believe if a man doesn't know how to manage his own finances, he is not fit to be a good father because he can't even take care of himself. How on earth is he gonna handle respo... (read in full...)
Did I over-react? my husband defended his friend. Ignored my feelings. The sexual joke was about me
Q. Tell me if I'm over reacting or if I took this the wrong way. My husband has a male friend who I think has really disrespected me. They were talking online with a bunch of people. My husband's friend said: "We should get you a webcam and have ...
A. 17 October 2011: this is the coward's defence when they know they were wrong, but are not man enough to admit that they stillharbor Neanderthal Sexist out of date disrespectful attitudes.
The world has moved on since then.
The old 'defence' of 'you don't have a s... (read in full...)
To me he is disrespectful. Why mess me around? Is this how men act when they mess up?
Q. My boyfriend and I were supposed to go to Jamaica yesterday. I booked the ticket for us back in April. He left to his home country in August and the first thing I said was remember our October trip. Anyhow three days ago, I kept asking if he had b...
A. 16 October 2011: hi, i do hope this IS his big break. But no more loans to him. And go dutch with dates. And he needs to start repaying you immediately at a regular fixed amount.
Just take care he does not sweet talk you with dreams and rainbows.
Be firm. You are ... (read in full...)
Just a dream? my ex-girlfriend appeared in my dreams. What does this mean? Is there still a chance for me?
Q. My ex-girlfriend dumped last year saying I had no future by doing odd job . After long time, last night, I had her in my dream in which she was saying that she would talk to me every Saturday on cellphone. What does it mean ? Does it mean she's ...
A. 16 October 2011: Your dreams tell you what is on Your mind and what is consuming your thoughts. But do not signify nor indicate what is on the mind of anyone else.
Clearly you are missing her very much and that must be extra difficult for you. She dumped you beca... (read in full...)
To me he is disrespectful. Why mess me around? Is this how men act when they mess up?
Q. My boyfriend and I were supposed to go to Jamaica yesterday. I booked the ticket for us back in April. He left to his home country in August and the first thing I said was remember our October trip. Anyhow three days ago, I kept asking if he had b...
A. 16 October 2011: Thank you for the update.
Sometimes when in love a woman can have blinkers on to the real nature of her guy. And she can excuse and overlook things she should not. And "Love her man too much"
It spoils the man.
And it does the woman no favors.... (read in full...)
To me he is disrespectful. Why mess me around? Is this how men act when they mess up?
Q. My boyfriend and I were supposed to go to Jamaica yesterday. I booked the ticket for us back in April. He left to his home country in August and the first thing I said was remember our October trip. Anyhow three days ago, I kept asking if he had b...
A. 16 October 2011: sadly this guy seems a bit short of strong backbone. I would question his commitment to you. Does he have money issues or commitment issues? Did he feel pushed, but had not the courage to tell you?
And yes he should have picked up the phone a week... (read in full...)
Did I over-react? my husband defended his friend. Ignored my feelings. The sexual joke was about me
Q. Tell me if I'm over reacting or if I took this the wrong way. My husband has a male friend who I think has really disrespected me. They were talking online with a bunch of people. My husband's friend said: "We should get you a webcam and have ...
A. 15 October 2011: OK, thank you for that update, Point taken, And if you feel safe still then that is good. But your husband's behavior under the bad influence of this other guy is not acceptable. So please take care to ensure that things do not deteriorate furt... (read in full...)
Did I over-react? my husband defended his friend. Ignored my feelings. The sexual joke was about me
Q. Tell me if I'm over reacting or if I took this the wrong way. My husband has a male friend who I think has really disrespected me. They were talking online with a bunch of people. My husband's friend said: "We should get you a webcam and have ...
A. 15 October 2011: I think you need some external professional counselling support to improve your confidence in you and allow you to go forward more confidently in the face of your husband's indifference.
Do not even tell your husband that you are doing this. Let ... (read in full...)
Did I over-react? my husband defended his friend. Ignored my feelings. The sexual joke was about me
Q. Tell me if I'm over reacting or if I took this the wrong way. My husband has a male friend who I think has really disrespected me. They were talking online with a bunch of people. My husband's friend said: "We should get you a webcam and have ...
A. 15 October 2011: It would be such a great pity if his computer experienced a glitch (not)
I believe a cup of hot coffee can do terrible things to a keyboard.
See if you can distract your husband with a weekend away. No computer, no lap top. Phones turned off. ... (read in full...)
Did I over-react? my husband defended his friend. Ignored my feelings. The sexual joke was about me
Q. Tell me if I'm over reacting or if I took this the wrong way. My husband has a male friend who I think has really disrespected me. They were talking online with a bunch of people. My husband's friend said: "We should get you a webcam and have ...
A. 15 October 2011: Caring Guy has covered every base. His advice is consistently perfect but this time he has excelled.
Please read the advice from Caring Guy and marvel that Caring Guy can offer such pertinent and wise advice.
Your husband should put you Firs... (read in full...)
My guy broke up with me because of family issues...
Q. In January I met this guy and at first I wasn't really attracted to him. I thought hey why not I might just give it a chance. We met for lunch really nice guy. He then ask me out on a date, I accepted and I met him for dinner. I was starting to ...
A. 23 May 2011: if you chase him you will send all the wrong signals. Let him chase you, IF he is interested. No letter, absolutely not.
Look at his track record. You met him. Your relationship consisted of once a week dates. Not much involvement in daily li... (read in full...)
My guy broke up with me because of family issues...
Q. In January I met this guy and at first I wasn't really attracted to him. I thought hey why not I might just give it a chance. We met for lunch really nice guy. He then ask me out on a date, I accepted and I met him for dinner. I was starting to ...
A. 19 May 2011: He sounds way too extra cautious like some nervous nelly.
Maybe he has issues and baggage from the past that are still smouldering within him. But that is his problem and he needs to work it out before he can go forward.
Did he envisage that you... (read in full...)
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