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... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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Am I to blame for getting dumped?
Q. I used to talk dirty with my very close guy friend P (read: sexting). We had a deal that it was just for fun and only talking and it wasnt gonna go anywhere. But one day we had a drunken makeout session. Soon after our friendship soured and we ...
A. 22 January 2012: Remind yourself any time you doubt this:
The Answer is: He has NO RIGHT EVER to call you that nasty name. No excuses. Nothing justifies him calling you that and whatever you did in private with anyone else still DOES NOT JUSTIFY his remark.
Rem... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being bullied, I'm sick of no understanding, I'm just sick of it!
Q. Im sick of feeling alone and depressed all the time, i have moments when im really happy then my mood can suddenly change i try to tell my mum and dad but they never listen they are like 'oh sure course theres always something wrong with you' etc ...
A. 22 January 2012: Here are the Bullying links I think might help you? Biderman's Chart of Coercion helped me a lot to deal with a bully
regards
Abella
Bullying links
http://bullyoffline.org/workbully/index.htm
http://www.overcomebullying.o... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being bullied, I'm sick of no understanding, I'm just sick of it!
Q. Im sick of feeling alone and depressed all the time, i have moments when im really happy then my mood can suddenly change i try to tell my mum and dad but they never listen they are like 'oh sure course theres always something wrong with you' etc ...
A. 21 January 2012: Do you know where your nearest Citizen's advice bureau is? They can do some marvellous things. I think you need a heart to heart talk with an non-family (but professional - ie the great people in the Citizen's Advice bureau).
They can give you impa... (read in full...)
Am I to blame for getting dumped?
Q. I used to talk dirty with my very close guy friend P (read: sexting). We had a deal that it was just for fun and only talking and it wasnt gonna go anywhere. But one day we had a drunken makeout session. Soon after our friendship soured and we ...
A. 20 January 2012: here is the article on Confidence written by Code Warrior on this site.
Hope it helps you put more value on who you are.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-confidence-and-how-do-i-get.html... (read in full...)
Am I to blame for getting dumped?
Q. I used to talk dirty with my very close guy friend P (read: sexting). We had a deal that it was just for fun and only talking and it wasnt gonna go anywhere. But one day we had a drunken makeout session. Soon after our friendship soured and we ...
A. 20 January 2012: even this situation can change in time. And it will. I am glad that P can be trusted. That is good.
Maybe S is just trying to accuse you of more than is true because he does not trust you, so he accuses you just to see if you will reveal what he ... (read in full...)
Is he toying with my feelings?
Q. Hi everyone I have been in a fwb situation for 11 months now none of us planned for it to be this it just kinda happened anyway this is the problem I had a lot of family problems recently so I kept in touch texting him n that but I got a text back ...
A. 20 January 2012: Sadly, he does not have enough trust in you. And he wants you 'on tap' for his convenience. Yet is unwilling to put up with any inconvenience to HIS schedule. HIS needs. HIS wants.
He is not being respectful. He is using you as a resource for his ... (read in full...)
Am I to blame for getting dumped?
Q. I used to talk dirty with my very close guy friend P (read: sexting). We had a deal that it was just for fun and only talking and it wasnt gonna go anywhere. But one day we had a drunken makeout session. Soon after our friendship soured and we ...
A. 20 January 2012: Absolutely NOT!
Never listen to jerks who only want to put you down.
Even if you did flirt a little and even if things have gone a little pear shape, does not justify S calling you nasty names.
Now the tough part of this is that you really love ... (read in full...)
I snooped and found he has changed his passwords
Q. My boyfriend has changed his passwords on Facebook and gmail without telling me. Am I right to feel insecure about this?... Why has he done this if he has nothing to hide? Or do people not share passwords with their other halves? We have been tog...
A. 16 January 2012: He may be adopting good on line practices. I change my passwords frequently. It is what is recommended as a strategy by IT professionals. At work I am required to change my passeord regularly for the same reason..
Trust is a beautiful thing. A... (read in full...)
I found out my wife had 2 abortions and never told me. I don't know what to do now
Q. We have been together for 5 years and we got married a few months ago. Recently she got pregnant, however 6-7 weeks later, it turned out to be a miscarriage. During one of the visits at the gyn, the doctor mentioned that this is her third abortion. ...
A. 16 January 2012: are you sure you did not jump to conclusions?
Doctors often refer to 'spontaneous abortion' meaning an involuntary thing where the body aborts the baby.
In polite terms we call it mis-carriage.
It sounds like the Doctor's terminology ... (read in full...)
He's a good guy. So how much give and take is reasonable in my LDR FWB ?
Q. I just have a bit of a problem and would like some insight if possible! Thank you in advance. I have been I guess "casually dating" this guy for a couple months now. Whatever we actually are,we are not exclusive as far as I am aware. We have very...
A. 16 January 2012: I think you are giving this guy too much credit. He is never going to be much more than his occasional dalliance. He may be a nice affable guy and I am sure he appreciates how much space you give him,
But you are making it all way too easy for him ... (read in full...)
I feel I'm being pressured to move in with my boyfriend. I'm fine where I am!
Q. Hey, I'd appreciate your perspectives on whether I should move in with my bf or whether it is ok for me to want to keep things as they are, as I feel I am being pressurised into something I don't want to do:( He's been asking me to move into his...
A. 11 January 2012: You are a far more forgiving than most girls. You have been with this guy now for only 15 months and his lapses in judgment have been ongoing. I admire how forgiving you are, but I think your love for him has allowed you to show him more leeway ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with this great guy who seems to be starting to take me for granted?
Q. My boyfriend and I are happy. We haven't been dating long (since Thanksgiving) but care about each other deeply. It's a connection neither of us had felt in previous relationships. He constantly talks about the future, and about us sharing the rest ...
A. 10 January 2012: And never be afraid to Ask for What you Want.
So many gals let things be overlooked.
You have rights
You deserve respect.
So if you standards are not his standards, then better to learn about this early, not later.
Certainly if he i... (read in full...)
How should I deal with this great guy who seems to be starting to take me for granted?
Q. My boyfriend and I are happy. We haven't been dating long (since Thanksgiving) but care about each other deeply. It's a connection neither of us had felt in previous relationships. He constantly talks about the future, and about us sharing the rest ...
A. 10 January 2012: You both seem to have a really good connection. And it is very early days in your relationship. Give it time to mature at the pace that suits both of you. There is no rush.
Listen
Listen
Listen
Communicate
Communicate
Communicate... (read in full...)
Should I introduce my Boyfriend to this site? he has a problem!
Q. Dear Cubid Agonys! My boyfriend is going through a hard time with his family and exGF about us. And i feel sorry for him and he doesnt know what to do or have anyone to give advice.So i was think of introducing him to this DearCubid family it has ...
A. 10 January 2012: As far as your boyfriend recognizing you? I think the Moderators are good at not putting through much that identifies other too much.
YOu would be surprised now many people the world over have problems that might sound similar, but are not. Ther... (read in full...)
Should I introduce my Boyfriend to this site? he has a problem!
Q. Dear Cubid Agonys! My boyfriend is going through a hard time with his family and exGF about us. And i feel sorry for him and he doesnt know what to do or have anyone to give advice.So i was think of introducing him to this DearCubid family it has ...
A. 10 January 2012: Maybe suggest he read a few of the answers and questions that are similar to his own issues? Then if he thinks it might help him it will only take him moments to register.
It seems that you possibly post anonymously?
If you use a shared com... (read in full...)
Why don't some girls realise they're being cheated on?
Q. There's this guy who I know from high school. He used to be a geek and didn't really get the girls. Now he's different, he works out and looks pretty good. I really liked him at one point and never would have guessed the kind of person he'd turned ...
A. 4 January 2012: Qualifier: If a person is not in a relationship then he/she can go out with a new girl/new guy every week and that is HIS/HER business.
But once he/she agrees to form a committed relationship with a partner then that Primary Relationship should be r... (read in full...)
Why don't some girls realise they're being cheated on?
Q. There's this guy who I know from high school. He used to be a geek and didn't really get the girls. Now he's different, he works out and looks pretty good. I really liked him at one point and never would have guessed the kind of person he'd turned ...
A. 4 January 2012: Often a girl will choose to not notice. Because she so much does not want to lose him, or thinks Divorce would be something she never wants, or she has been so demoralized by her cheating partner that she thinks she could not get any one better, so ... (read in full...)
Would texting him at midnight on NYE be a good move? we fell out, but he said to try things again in 2012
Q. i really like this boy and we've been meeting up, texting and stuff like that. we fell out but we are ok now, he said to try things in 2012.. seeing as its new years eve i was thinking of texting him how i felt at midnight? but i wouldnt know what ...
A. 1 January 2012: That was the perfect text, Just totally right !!!
Happy New Year... (read in full...)
Alcohol has ruined my parents and I am so helpless
Q. This Christmas was not any different to any other. In fact it was not much different to any other day except they did buy me presents and there are a lot more people. Christmas Eve i prepare all of the vegetables, stuff the turkey and put it in the ...
A. 31 December 2011: hi,
Tisha is correct - i know you don't see yourself as a child. But legally you are until you reach the 'age of majority' in UK.
The link Tisha gave you is a really good link in UK.
And I know the page takes a while to load - but have faith a... (read in full...)
To text or not to text? And if I do text her, what should I say to her?
Q. Hello! I am a 16 year old guy and I've been working at a pizza place (Donatos) since I was 14. I got a girl's number when I was working the other day, she wrote it on the back of a receipt that I gave her to sign (and she tipped me xD). She was real...
A. 31 December 2011: hi
Definitely text her, wish her happy new year. I think it's too early to be any more than light, friendly. Since you know only a very limited amount of information on her, this far.
Definitely be a tiny bit flirty with her next time she comes in... (read in full...)
Alcohol has ruined my parents and I am so helpless
Q. This Christmas was not any different to any other. In fact it was not much different to any other day except they did buy me presents and there are a lot more people. Christmas Eve i prepare all of the vegetables, stuff the turkey and put it in the ...
A. 31 December 2011: This is an intolerable situation for you to be in and you are not getting the support you need and deserve and are entitled to. I grew up in an alcoholic household and choosing to never drink alcohol was a direct result of all that I endured.... (read in full...)
Would texting him at midnight on NYE be a good move? we fell out, but he said to try things again in 2012
Q. i really like this boy and we've been meeting up, texting and stuff like that. we fell out but we are ok now, he said to try things in 2012.. seeing as its new years eve i was thinking of texting him how i felt at midnight? but i wouldnt know what ...
A. 31 December 2011: absolutely! That is a lovely idea. Keep it light.
And text him about 10 minutes before midnight so he gets the opportunity to text you back before midnight.
Does he have a nickname that you gave him? if yes, then use it as that is somethin... (read in full...)
Do all women taste the same?
Q. Hey everyone :) Im abit confused...me and my boyfriend got on the subject last night about givin each other oral. He said that a i tasted amazing :) which is good for both of us because we do enjoy it alot. But my question is... Do all woman tast...
A. 31 December 2011: Just as the same perfume will react differently on the skin of different women, so will every women have a different skin smell. And yes her diet will affect that too. As will things like showering daily or even more often. Sweat, even a tiny ... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 31 December 2011: I see reading the many posts herein, i see some that some good supportive answers from a range of Aunts and Uncles. In some answer, cases. The first answer from some Uncles or Aunts.
By the way I am female,
And you have had anwers telling ... (read in full...)
I'm 20 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend will not tell his parents. What should I do?
Q. Dear cupid. Im 20 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. my bf of 2 years. still has not told his parents and I dont know what to do. I gave him option to leave if he wanted and he decided to stay but is still making no effort. His parents need to know ...
A. 30 December 2011: Hi
Obviously if his parents lived nearby they would have seen your growing pregnancy/ Baby would be well advanced by now and be growing strng.
Do his parents live in another state or overseas? Do you have the utrasound pictures? I'd give him a co... (read in full...)
He teases me and can be sarcastic. But could he like me romantically?
Q. We've been working together (I know, work is not the best place to get a crush, but I can't help it!) for about a month now, and in that time we've created a pretty friendly relationship. We're very jokey and sarcastic with each other and we tease ...
A. 29 December 2011: Teasing yes, that often means he is interested. As long as the teasing is lighthearted and fun.
And in his case I think his teasing IS light hearted and designed specifically to get your attention.
And he is actively encouraging you to spend a l... (read in full...)
What do I do about baby daddy drama!
Q. My boyfriend/babies daddy ( of twins) and I are separating because he makes comments of me cheating when all I do is work come home take care of the family plus his other kids.I want to make things work out if we can but he wants nothing to do ...
A. 29 December 2011: Could he be any more controlling and insecure? It would seem not. You have on your hands a man who is potentially abusive. In fact I think his efforts are already abusive.
Isolating you?
Scared to allow you to mix with the people he designat... (read in full...)
Losing my virginity.....what do I need for my first time? How do I make sure I last long enough?
Q. Okay so when I was 16 I promised myself myself if I was 21 and still a virgin that I would lose it to someone of that year. Well here it is 6 years later and its come to the unfortunate time that I was dreading and excited for. This girl who I ...
A. 27 December 2011: I do hope you enjoy the experience and I hope that you also ask her for some flirting tips and some kissing tips to make it a really memorable experience. Good sex is not like driving a car. it is not just a mechanical exercise or a "let's do the ... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him to eat more pineapple? How do I tell him his semen tastes horrible?
Q. It's mostly just way too salty. The taste is still in my mouth, and this is hours later! I dont want to hurt my boyfriend's pride, but I dont really want to have to feel like I'm drowning at the beach (How romantic) or something. I heard pine...
A. 27 December 2011: hope it works!
By the way I'm glad you deciphered the word 'smell' from that word I mis-keyed while texting on my phone.
Garlic bread, garlic in sauces, garlic on shrimp - it is so very commonly used - just watch TV chefs - they seem to put f... (read in full...)
My b/f throws it in my face that he has 2 kids and all that I have is a cat!
Q. Hello everyone I'm looking for advice and anyone else who has been through this. I have been with my partner for 2 years. I love him most of the time. We do nearly everything together and are affectionate, and love each others company. We alw...
A. 26 December 2011: The children are not the issue it is his appalling disrespectful mean spirited attitude to you. But as the children age they will start to emulate their father's values and attitudes and then you will be made to suffer three not one family abuser. ... (read in full...)
My younger brother has NO concept of money!
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, I really need your help. I'm here because I'm completely out of ideas regarding my younger brother and his spending habits. His last text to me ("I spent $200 on dinner last night") was the final straw. He is 21 and still in ...
A. 26 December 2011: Collect some pamphlets on financial abuse of the elderly for this is her problem to solve. But perhaps if she read what society defines as elder abuse the she would be less cavalier about bailing him out again. Because he will only get worse. ... (read in full...)
Should I just tell him to eat more pineapple? How do I tell him his semen tastes horrible?
Q. It's mostly just way too salty. The taste is still in my mouth, and this is hours later! I dont want to hurt my boyfriend's pride, but I dont really want to have to feel like I'm drowning at the beach (How romantic) or something. I heard pine...
A. 26 December 2011: Just a thought, does he eat a lot of garlic? I recall a friend who was feeling physically sick at the thought of swallowing and she could not understand why the emall of his caused such a problem. So her Mom suggested she ask him to cut out garl... (read in full...)
He says he likes me but respects me too much to have sex with me!
Q. I have a friend with whom we began to send nude photos to each other ending out masturbating one another. We did it several times and he started saying he wanted sex, then it was me who wanted sex and now he has backed off saying he can not treat me ...
A. 26 December 2011: Hi, I am so sorry you feel sad like this. Maybe it is not all bad. If he can go "fickle"so quickly then maybe he is not worthy of you? Even though you really really like him a lot. It sounds like he falls in love and out of love easily.
when he come... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 25 December 2011: Hi AriSa
that's not so much fun if you didn't like the nicknames you had asa child. Usually they are given in affection, but if they are not 'right' then they don't work.
But since then things have looked up for you to be given the French for "dea... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 25 December 2011: Hi Katie7062
The Baby Bear is extra cute. He clearly feels really good about you. Brian sounds like a 'keeper' to me.
The Noodles one I love. Suggests either long long legs on your part or maybe you love Noodles.
)Either way your Dad loves yo... (read in full...)
Does race really matter to you?
Q. Hi guys. I hope you all are enjoying your holiday vacations and I hope you all have a merry christmas Um, I suppose I'm having some trouble coping with the things that are being revealed to me as I grow up. So, I guess you could say that I have ...
A. 25 December 2011: Hi
Racist rubbish bothers me too. When I was aged less than 12 I can recall huge issues when I would try to change my father's views on race. I failed. I can recall that I had a penfriend and we had to agree to disagree and to not write to each... (read in full...)
Find a Motivation and succeed against the biggest health issues. My Story
Q. At the begining of the year i was in pieces, i cannot even describe how i felt this time last year and i am sure only people who have ever been through something similar to what i have been through can imagine how bad it felt. It was Decemebe...
A. 25 December 2011: HI Almighty Duck
your wise posts are made all the more incredible as one realises all that you have been through. You are indeed a brave young lady. Admired by many.
You did not just have that wisdom drop in your lap. Instead you develope... (read in full...)
I have a huge crush on her and want to marry her. How can I encourage our relationship?
Q. I met her in one of my classes, she was very introverted. Hardly talked to anyone, but luckily she often talked to me and i have often dropped her off, near her house many times. This was the point at which i start liking her. Prior to our last clas...
A. 24 December 2011: You may have feelings for her. And she may have feelings for you. But her health is more important than any feelings she or you have for each other.
However you cannot fix her depression.
And it would seem that you have not yet felt the time is ... (read in full...)
I read my wife's journal and now I am tormented by it
Q. I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 6. I was a virgin when we met. She told me she had been with three men. Considering her great beauty and how many men were after her I didn't think that was so bad, especially because she is three...
A. 24 December 2011: she was entranced by you and loved you enough to marry you. So you were more special to her than anyone in the past. Perhaps she did only count the men who really meant something special to her - as the guys in her past.
And originally she had such... (read in full...)
Should I meet some one I don't want to meet just to please my boyfriend?
Q. I dont really know how do put this but here goes. my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and we have a pretty solid relaionship we get on so well and we always have a laugh and joke. but recently (as in the last week) I have bee...
A. 24 December 2011: I will probably get shot down for this answer. But my thought is that, if it were me, that I should not have to meet, deal with someone who I am not comfortable with. That's my feelings on that. Just because one person likes aspects of another ... (read in full...)
He contacts me to cheat on his girlfriend (while he's drunk) and when I ask for an explanation, he won't give one!
Q. Okay.. So i had a thing with this boy, a while ago, but it ended. Now everytime he has a girlfriend or things end with his latest one he contacts me again, and its hard cause i still have feelings for him. Anyway he recently contacted me (drunk) ...
A. 23 December 2011: I think it's time you took a break from this tactless cheating disrespectful guy. He's not worthy of you and the way he is treating you is appalling.
Please put him to one side and find a much nicer guy than him. You DO deserve better... (read in full...)
The woman I'm interested in has just lost her husband, I know she is in mourning but I don't want to lose her to anyone else! How do I handle this situation?
Q. I fell in love with a woman at work but she was in a relationship and got married two years ago. Over the past 4 years I have not mentioned my feelings to her but it is fairly obvious that we are atracted to each other. 6 weeks ago her husband ...
A. 23 December 2011: I was widowed while in my 20s and I was also horrified with 'offers' that started very shortly after my husband died. To me it showed a complete lack of understanding and empathy and those who approached me so soon were not even contenders, two ... (read in full...)
What are your weight advice tips for the new year?
Q. Basically, for my new years revolution i want to lose some weight. I am overweight not majorly but yeah i would like to lose abit of weight. I am just over 11 stone (72 lbs) i am a size 12 to 14 ( european sizes) i...
A. 22 December 2011: hi
from seeing your posts and surmising that your philosophy is one of 'continuous improvement' I have no doubt that you will achieve your goal with this one too.
Best wishes and Happy New Year
Abella... (read in full...)
What are your weight advice tips for the new year?
Q. Basically, for my new years revolution i want to lose some weight. I am overweight not majorly but yeah i would like to lose abit of weight. I am just over 11 stone (72 lbs) i am a size 12 to 14 ( european sizes) i...
A. 22 December 2011: hi
Great New Years resolution!
1. Join WeightWatchers International if you can. I believe they do an on-line version but not sure how expensive that is in UK.
2. Use a smaller plate for your food
3. Aim to have 3 serves of vegetables or sa... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 18 December 2011: Hi Lifeinsonnetform
I love your reply to this article.
Very delightful.
I have a good memory for so many names and so many possible variations in my head, that you real name is safe :)
I really enjoyed reading your follow up
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 17 December 2011: hi IamHereToHelpYou,
You must be truly very loved to have everyone want to give you a unique nickname. Because nicknames are marks of affection. especially within a family. In your case everyone wants to have a unique bond with you.
Thank... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 10 December 2011: Odds what a lovely romantic gesture and so much fun and flirty to keep on making up nicknames using a resource that she loved. That's very smart and sounds like fun.
Those sort of games, and specific and relevant to the two people make like fun betw... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 10 December 2011: Ah So very confused, I think of Quilts when I hear the name Baltimore. Your nicknames demonstrate that nicknames can be indicators or a very special relationship - where a particular person is the only one who can call you a particular name. And ... (read in full...)
He says he likes me but respects me too much to have sex with me!
Q. I have a friend with whom we began to send nude photos to each other ending out masturbating one another. We did it several times and he started saying he wanted sex, then it was me who wanted sex and now he has backed off saying he can not treat me ...
A. 5 December 2011: He is not rejecting you. In fact he has you on a pedestal as more special than the others. He REALLLLY does not want to lose you.
Be patient with him. Help him to learn some trust. I know a guy who was literally left at the altar on the day of the ... (read in full...)
He says he likes me but respects me too much to have sex with me!
Q. I have a friend with whom we began to send nude photos to each other ending out masturbating one another. We did it several times and he started saying he wanted sex, then it was me who wanted sex and now he has backed off saying he can not treat me ...
A. 5 December 2011: He is not completely over the ex. But he is working on it. And he does regard you as a good friend and wants to retain you as a good friend. Because you are a very important sounding board. He may even later develop deeper feelings for you. And when ... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 29 November 2011: Miamine that is a much more original name that some of mine. At least you can tell others your nick name in company.
And how civilized that you still talk to your ex. I love that, where it is possible.
Most of mine are cheeky (too cheeky) and he d... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 28 November 2011: hi Shadow Rose,
i love the 'Hun' one - your comment caused me to immediately think of 2 friends, (a couple), as that is their favorite too.
thank you for your thoughts on this
Abella ... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
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![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
