A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ive done something really stupid and need some advice as to what i should do. My boyfriend who i havent known all that long is from a diferent country. Possibly quite jealous and possesive. He works and so do i, but i make more money than him. he recently asked me for 3 thousand pounds which i gave him, he said he wanted it for a car. after 2 days he said he couldnt get a car as his ban wasnt finished. i asked him for the money back as i need it, i am running out of money as i am the one who pays mainly for everything eg.. food, petrol, clothing, ciggarettes and he wont give it to me. he keeps saying we will need it when we go and live in his country as we are getting married in a few weeks but i dont know when we will go to his country. I feel really depressed and angry that he wont return my money when he knows i need it. I have to leave my home in a few weeks as the owner wants it back so i need money for a new home but he just says to me to save my money from work for a new home. if i ask him to bring my money back he just shouts at me. i get the feeling he is keeping this money to control me. the only thing i can think of doing is going to my mums and telling him i had no other choice because he wont give me some money back to get another home. but he will tell me to save money from work for a house?
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male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (1 November 2011):
Run away from this marriage... this has so many red flags waving that you need to STOP and re-evaluate the relationship.
3,000 may be getting off light if he is the kind of guy that he sounds like... Image 30,000 of credit card debt, and then he leaves...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2011): Never lend money you can not afford to lose. The money's gone and I'm afraid you are not going to get it back. Yes you have made an expensive mistake. This guy is no good, end of story. Do whatever you need to do to end all contact and be rid of him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 October 2011):
 He wont' give you back your money?
DO NOT marry him
DO NOT give him any more money
MOVE back with your mom...
Read what Abella said... and paste it here... I agree 100 percent with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2011): Maybe check out this article?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-honeymoon-stage-in-an-abusive-relationship-and.html
Your situation sounds horrible.
of the women who lend men money many often live to regret doing so.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (31 October 2011):
 Does your guy have a gambling or debts problem? Your money has either gone on Gambling or has already been sent back to his own family. .
I am not going to call him a fiance. He is not loving enough for that. Did he guy you an engagement ring? If it has any value cash it in now. If not it just underlines that he does not respect you.
Do not marry him
Yes move back to Mom.
Instigate civil proceedings to recover your money. Though no doubt he will fly out before he pays you the money. I suspect that 3000 is gone. What were you thinking? Let this be the Last time you ever lend a man or anyone any money ever.
This guy is an unprincipled liar.
And he has a ban on driving? He is trouble any way you look at him
Contact the landlord. Explain that you need to leave as soon as possible. Settle things up so your name is no longer on the lease. Do not tell this guy.
Pack up your things while he is at work. Leave your keys with the landlord.
if he wants to take on the lease he can pay for it. Otherwise he can fly home. Do not contact him ever again.
He is bad news
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