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... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 18 September 2012: I am sending this article to a truly Dear friend today who I know is grieving today. Suicide leaves such a cruel legacy for those left behind.
Today I feel my wonderful Dear friend might benefit from this article.
If you are suffering, havin... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 1 June 2012: Thank you Maverick494 for your very understanding feedback. I truly appreciate your comments. Your post made me very reflectful. And that was, originally all I was going to say. But you inspired me to say more.
Interesting that you observed... (read in full...)
He says he likes me but respects me too much to have sex with me!
Q. I have a friend with whom we began to send nude photos to each other ending out masturbating one another. We did it several times and he started saying he wanted sex, then it was me who wanted sex and now he has backed off saying he can not treat me ...
A. 26 December 2011: Hi, I am so sorry you feel sad like this. Maybe it is not all bad. If he can go "fickle"so quickly then maybe he is not worthy of you? Even though you really really like him a lot. It sounds like he falls in love and out of love easily.
when he come... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 25 December 2011: Hi AriSa
that's not so much fun if you didn't like the nicknames you had asa child. Usually they are given in affection, but if they are not 'right' then they don't work.
But since then things have looked up for you to be given the French for "dea... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 25 December 2011: Hi Katie7062
The Baby Bear is extra cute. He clearly feels really good about you. Brian sounds like a 'keeper' to me.
The Noodles one I love. Suggests either long long legs on your part or maybe you love Noodles.
)Either way your Dad loves yo... (read in full...)
Things that you love about yourself and dislike about yourself
Q. Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
A. 20 December 2011: And Christmas Best Wishes to xTheAlmightyDuckx
Because I've missed seeing your posts since 6 December. I hope that means you are just busy wrapping Christmas presents. And have not fotgotten your fans on DearCupid?
whatever you are doing, you brig... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 18 December 2011: Hi Lifeinsonnetform
I love your reply to this article.
Very delightful.
I have a good memory for so many names and so many possible variations in my head, that you real name is safe :)
I really enjoyed reading your follow up
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 17 December 2011: hi IamHereToHelpYou,
You must be truly very loved to have everyone want to give you a unique nickname. Because nicknames are marks of affection. especially within a family. In your case everyone wants to have a unique bond with you.
Thank... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or is his story plausible?
Q. Please bear with the long description :/ Any reply is much appreciated. I have been in a relationship for 8 months with a guy who looks great on paper. He's a doctor with a prominent position and good reputation in the community. We met online. ...
A. 13 December 2011: I'm blushing :)
Thank you
And Best wishes to you too
Abella... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or is his story plausible?
Q. Please bear with the long description :/ Any reply is much appreciated. I have been in a relationship for 8 months with a guy who looks great on paper. He's a doctor with a prominent position and good reputation in the community. We met online. ...
A. 13 December 2011: You are articulate, you write well and I am guessing you are well presented too. And you have good logic and decision making skills to make you a good catch.
He was not ready for you, but I'll bet there will be a very nice presentable man who IS a... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or is his story plausible?
Q. Please bear with the long description :/ Any reply is much appreciated. I have been in a relationship for 8 months with a guy who looks great on paper. He's a doctor with a prominent position and good reputation in the community. We met online. ...
A. 11 December 2011: Your BEST advantage is that you live close by - you have an advantage over any more distant woman. And you can also see what he is up to and drive over. This is a major PLUS and puts you in a good position.
But...
That is a tough position to be in... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or is his story plausible?
Q. Please bear with the long description :/ Any reply is much appreciated. I have been in a relationship for 8 months with a guy who looks great on paper. He's a doctor with a prominent position and good reputation in the community. We met online. ...
A. 11 December 2011: Sounds like he is still flirting adinfinitum? Surely if he was genuine he would have removed all mention of himself from the dating site?
How many other women has he 'promised' himself to? And has he visited you yet?
Look at his actions = does he ... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 10 December 2011: Hi Anonymous123 the feeling is mutual.
I know what a wonderful contribution you make to Dear Cupid too. Your really great advice is clearly appreciated by so many.
Best Wishes
Abella... (read in full...)
Did he kiss me on the forehead because he's feeling more of an attraction for me?
Q. This guy and I have sexual chemistry towards each other. We hooked up a few times but it hasn't really gone anywhere because we both havent really wanted anything or really talked about it. He always watches me whenever we go out or else stays near...
A. 10 December 2011: a kiss on a forehead I regard as tender and wonderful. It is one of my favourites. it can be given anywhere. It is not demanding. It embarasses no one. But it sure signals that you are special. Or it should.
If the kiss was given in genuine appr... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 10 December 2011: Odds what a lovely romantic gesture and so much fun and flirty to keep on making up nicknames using a resource that she loved. That's very smart and sounds like fun.
Those sort of games, and specific and relevant to the two people make like fun betw... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 10 December 2011: Ah So very confused, I think of Quilts when I hear the name Baltimore. Your nicknames demonstrate that nicknames can be indicators or a very special relationship - where a particular person is the only one who can call you a particular name. And ... (read in full...)
Things that you love about yourself and dislike about yourself
Q. Basically i find these days that people either are extreamly hypocritcal where they think everyone has something wrong with them except them, or people have very low self esteem (including myself). I have learnt in the last year tha...
A. 10 December 2011: I am a good ideas person. My sense of color is good. I like my very tiny wrists. I must be doing something right to still have as close friends people I have known since I was 4. I am a good Mom. I am told I am a good wife. I am observant.
v... (read in full...)
My fiancee does not want her parents told we are engaged. How do I build a better relationship with her parents? Kind answers only please!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for eight months and are now happily engaged. Seems simple enough, right? Well we are both 17 and out parents don't exactly approve. My father says that he is happy that I have found someone I would like to ...
A. 10 December 2011: Thank you for the update. And keep on building the relationships. They need constant attention to keep everything going well. It is a daily work in progress.
I do hope everything continues to gell towards the goals you want to reach together.
best ... (read in full...)
Considering my parents are both experiencing health and financial problems, should I give them a cash gift for Christmas or dinner and a movie gift cards for a fun night out?
Q. Question in regards to parents Recently my family has gone through a tough time I am 32 and have not lived at home with my parents for a very long time... Both my parents are currently disabled. Dads been on disability for 3 years Mom was w...
A. 10 December 2011: Hi if your parents are both in straightened circumstances, with health problems and with not enough money coming in then it is likely they are starting to feel hopeless and stressed. Therefore if you give them money direct they are more likely ... (read in full...)
Am I really starting to fall in love with my brother?
Q. My older brother and I have been sexually active with each other for some years now. I know this started as him abusing me but I no longer see it that way and I think I might be falling in love with him. He is 4 years older then me and started uni 2 ...
A. 10 December 2011: You do need support and assistance to help you realise that you have been abused by your brother.
"All truth passes through three stages. First it is ridiculed, Second it is violently opposed. Third it is accepted as self-evident."
Arthur Sc... (read in full...)
He says he'll wait but does he really just want sex and then he'll dump me?
Q. hi everyone,im 17 and my bf is 22 we have been dating for six months now i really love him,we have talked about sex and i told him i wasn't ready,i believe in no sex before marriage and he said he will wait but everytime we are together he asks for ...
A. 9 December 2011: You have explained your reasoning and your motivation. And your answer is "no". Now he needs to show some respect and some empathy. NO is not negotiable. It is just NO.
If he truly cares and loves you he will remain patient.
He needs to sho... (read in full...)
Please help me to find a solution for a boy with kidney failure!
Q. Dear All. I am seeking advice from all please? I am trying to help a family in Zimbabwe who have a son that has kidney failure. He has to travel 4 hours to the capital city in Zimbabwe twice a week (4 hours there and 4 hours back) in order to get d...
A. 8 December 2011: Hi Mariab,
Sorry to question you re your question. I can see you are genuine. But so many are duped with similar sounding situations. The question sounded originally like a third party query in that you had heard about the situation and were conc... (read in full...)
Please help me to find a solution for a boy with kidney failure!
Q. Dear All. I am seeking advice from all please? I am trying to help a family in Zimbabwe who have a son that has kidney failure. He has to travel 4 hours to the capital city in Zimbabwe twice a week (4 hours there and 4 hours back) in order to get d...
A. 8 December 2011: before answering this apparently heart felt problem I entered these seven words into Google:
Internet scam victimizes the gullible and elderly
Although, sadly, both older and younger people are often scammed on the interest due to being too... (read in full...)
Should I sent my ex a card with a necklace in it that I had given to her before?
Q. I have a question about sending an ex girlfriend a christmas card/gift. I broke up with her in july and havent seen her since. She contacts me once every few weeks just to talk. I regret leaving her and i wish i never did. Whenever i dont talk to ...
A. 6 December 2011: I for one will be crossing my fingers for you. I like your method of proceeding patiently. Patience is a great virtue.
Best wishes
Abella... (read in full...)
Should I sent my ex a card with a necklace in it that I had given to her before?
Q. I have a question about sending an ex girlfriend a christmas card/gift. I broke up with her in july and havent seen her since. She contacts me once every few weeks just to talk. I regret leaving her and i wish i never did. Whenever i dont talk to ...
A. 6 December 2011: All the things you love about her
Let's hope third time lucky I get my intended meaning across.
And all the very best to you for a great Christmas - hope it includes her too :)... (read in full...)
Should I sent my ex a card with a necklace in it that I had given to her before?
Q. I have a question about sending an ex girlfriend a christmas card/gift. I broke up with her in july and havent seen her since. She contacts me once every few weeks just to talk. I regret leaving her and i wish i never did. Whenever i dont talk to ...
A. 6 December 2011: Disagreements often do have issues on both sides. I am so glad that you patched things up of that disagreement.
Your solution, I hope, starts a thaw that you both want to happen. Best wishes with it.
By the way I need to correct one part of my p... (read in full...)
Should I sent my ex a card with a necklace in it that I had given to her before?
Q. I have a question about sending an ex girlfriend a christmas card/gift. I broke up with her in july and havent seen her since. She contacts me once every few weeks just to talk. I regret leaving her and i wish i never did. Whenever i dont talk to ...
A. 6 December 2011: Absolutely not! Having a necklace ripped from around her neck is indeed rampant anger out of control. I understand that you were very angry at the time. But that would have been a frightening event for her.
Why would she want to be reminded of such... (read in full...)
If he's with me then why doesn't he remove his status as being single?
Q. Ive been seeing this guy for a year now, on and off. When we are together its great and I love him to bits. But one thing is bugging me. He has his relationship status as single on his facebook and when I ask him why he just shrugs it off and says ...
A. 6 December 2011: Could you please post your age - because it affects the answer and is important.
Aunts and Uncles need your age to better advise you... (read in full...)
Whenever I ask her if she likes him she says no. Is she trying not to hurt me?
Q. There's this girl i have liked since last year. We just started back talking. My friend that I hoop with during gym likes her too. He does stuff like touch her boobs and play around. I'm not that kind of guy so me and her just talk and flirt.We text ...
A. 6 December 2011: Hi
You are doing everything right. Your friend is wrong. He is being disrespectful and she may be embarassed by his inappropriate actions. Young teen girls learn over time and improve their confidence in themselves - such that they do realise that... (read in full...)
He says he likes me but respects me too much to have sex with me!
Q. I have a friend with whom we began to send nude photos to each other ending out masturbating one another. We did it several times and he started saying he wanted sex, then it was me who wanted sex and now he has backed off saying he can not treat me ...
A. 5 December 2011: He is not rejecting you. In fact he has you on a pedestal as more special than the others. He REALLLLY does not want to lose you.
Be patient with him. Help him to learn some trust. I know a guy who was literally left at the altar on the day of the ... (read in full...)
Too many quarrels, Could she change for the better? And can we still get married to each other in the future while she fights like this?,
Q. I have been in this relationship for 3 years. My girlfriend has some behaviours that i don't like. she hardly apologises to me every time she does something horrible, whenever we quarel, she abuses me with all kind of different insults which i neve...
A. 5 December 2011: Hi
you can tell her assertively how you are feeling, but if she acts up just get up and walk out of the room with a remark that is calm and rational. I will give you two examples below
You cannot change her. Only she can decide to do that.
But if... (read in full...)
My fiancee does not want her parents told we are engaged. How do I build a better relationship with her parents? Kind answers only please!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for eight months and are now happily engaged. Seems simple enough, right? Well we are both 17 and out parents don't exactly approve. My father says that he is happy that I have found someone I would like to ...
A. 5 December 2011: This is a tough ask.
Rome was not built in a day and you can hardly get married in the next six months so you really do have time to make this situation right and build a better relationship with both the mother and especially the father of your... (read in full...)
I just really can't stop thinking about him. I don't know what to do. Would it be wrong to date her ex?
Q. Last friday night I went to a bar to celebrate my cousin's birthday. She's not my blood cousin but I've known her since she was born. Her sister was there and although we aren't very close I still consider her family. A few years ago the cousin (the...
A. 5 December 2011: Your cousin is not too happy at the moment. She may even want to rekindle her relationship with her ex. Telling you about the Facebook connection was her way to tell you that she is still in touch with him. And ordering him around was showing ... (read in full...)
Too many quarrels, Could she change for the better? And can we still get married to each other in the future while she fights like this?,
Q. I have been in this relationship for 3 years. My girlfriend has some behaviours that i don't like. she hardly apologises to me every time she does something horrible, whenever we quarel, she abuses me with all kind of different insults which i neve...
A. 5 December 2011: I really think this relationship, sadly, will not work long term. Love is important, but respect is NOT NEGOTIABLE and must exist in any relationship.
Fighting all the time is a red flag that indicates there is a strong possibility of a mis-fit betw... (read in full...)
He says he likes me but respects me too much to have sex with me!
Q. I have a friend with whom we began to send nude photos to each other ending out masturbating one another. We did it several times and he started saying he wanted sex, then it was me who wanted sex and now he has backed off saying he can not treat me ...
A. 5 December 2011: He is not completely over the ex. But he is working on it. And he does regard you as a good friend and wants to retain you as a good friend. Because you are a very important sounding board. He may even later develop deeper feelings for you. And when ... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 4 December 2011: thank you Tisha, for you are amongst the wise people I refer to, when I think of inspiring wise people, who I have inspired me with their wisdom, logic and good commonsense.
Such people include two long term friends, a Nun, and of course my grea... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 3 December 2011: Christmas can be a tough time, for some. Especially the elderly, those far from home, those who have just split with a partner, or just suffered a tragic experience.
Remembering who is not around to share this time with you. The media feed you imag... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 2 December 2011: hi Jonas
No I don't believe in retribution nor in Karma.
Because if I did I would have to conclude that the 'plan' was cruel.
And I don't believe in 'everything happens for a reason' for that too would lead me to question what 'reason' cou... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 2 December 2011: hi Jonas,
I feel terrible that I did not respond earlier. The first time started to read your response and the second one I was so over-whelmed that one family could have to face so much. And I had to go back twice before I finished reading the ... (read in full...)
Can my ex be my confidante?
Q. My ex-boyfriend is amazing. I know it sounds weird since he's my ex, but that's it's own story. Anyway, I've been going through some incredibly tough times lately, and I really need someone close by to talk to. I can't handle everything alone. And ...
A. 1 December 2011: For your own well being make sure you understand what it is you are asking from him. Because you obviously have feelings for him. You must keep in mind that there is no longer a boy-friend/girl-friend relationship. So the dynamics have changed. He ... (read in full...)
Would it be better to not get married and disappoint our families?
Q. I am due to get married in three months. For the past two years I have been catching my soon to be wife in darting chat rooms. She has been clumsy and left things around,including guys phone numbers. I have never been able to get past this as she ...
A. 1 December 2011: this relationship is OVER.
A lifetime of misery is too much to ask of anyone.
BREAK OFF with her today. She is too dishonest and shallow and not worthy of you.
What your families want, think, expect represent are their issues.
What you want... (read in full...)
My story of how karma really can bite you. And why empathy is important in relationships
Q. Well basically I am 14 years old and i would like to share a story which really really changed my way that I view the world and why you shouldn't take people for granted. All names included in this stroy are made up ones. I had a friend n...
A. 1 December 2011: Almighty Duck you are wise beyond your years. Empathy takes some people years, before they 'get it'. You are already understanding how important it is.
And don't be so hard on yourself. Most teens have no experience of losing a loved one and it hits... (read in full...)
Do I confront, support him, or walk away? My married lover confided he has started meeting men for sex.
Q. I need some support! I have had a relationship with a married man for many many years we are very very good friends and occasionally we have sex too which is like the icing on the cake. His wife is sick with MS so please dont criticise me for see...
A. 30 November 2011: Allow him all the time in the world, he is a busy man. He doesn't leave much time to attend to his important job, attend to the care of his wife who is seriously ill, give you his time when it suits his schedule, and NOW find time to hook up with ... (read in full...)
Is something changing in me? Am I losing my girlfriend? What is wrong with me?
Q. I am in love with my girlfriend and I can't imagine life without her, but recently I have been noticing another girl, whom I declared to be one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen many times but never actually felt anything over her. However ...
A. 30 November 2011: You may have been tired and it happened for a split second.
But if it keeps happening and the vision lasts for longer or keeps returning, then yes, do see the Doctor.
Do not be ashamed or hesitant to tell the Doctor exactly what you experien... (read in full...)
Need help with boys!
Q. i am 13 and in 7th grade. how do i get boys in my grade (in my school) to like me as a friend and then maybe date me later on in life? but i don't know how! cause honestly i tried flirting, being nice i tried the best i could but now i need some ...
A. 30 November 2011: It really is too early to be fixated on this.
The things that will bring the boys to you are the things that ensure you look relaxed and happy and at peace with who you are.
Concentrate on the fundamentals and the essentials (that you think ar... (read in full...)
Trying for a baby and nothing the doctors are doing is working...advice please!
Q. I really want to have a baby. I have been with my boyfriend now for 2 years and I have had no luck. I did have an unsuccessful pregnancy in the past with a previous boyfriend. I was pregnant with twin girls for 5 months and had to deliever them ...
A. 30 November 2011: You sound far too stressed and far too anxious. And that is NOT compatible with conditions that make it easier to get pregnant.
When getting pregnant is the last thing on your mind it is much easier for all things to go right.
So step away from the... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend get jealous over nothing?
Q. What is wrong with my girlfriend? She gets way too jealous over absolutely nothing. If I'm with one of my girl friends(Friends who are girls) then she gets jealous when all they are is friends. She has a ton of guy friends but I don't get jealous ...
A. 30 November 2011: It's not "nothing" to her, sadly.
Gee I am soooo glad I was never born with the Jealousy gene. I know people who are never at peace because they have the jealously gene. Thankfully it is not universal.
But your girlfriend has it bad.
And if sh... (read in full...)
Irregular periods are making me nervous about having children in the future, what should I do?
Q. Just want some readers opinions on this. I've been tracking my menstrual cycle and in this year alone (2011), ive so far had 6 periods. Obviously this is different to the 'typical' woman who may have 1 every month or so. It's making me nervo...
A. 30 November 2011: Definitely do see the Doctor. I recall having irregular periods aged 14-15. But not at your age.
there can be all manner of reasons for this.
Give yourself peace of mind first by seeing a specialist, then you can relax knowing you have eliminat... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is abusive. Help, what do I do? Because I'm falling hard for my boyfriend's brother.
Q. Ok. I am in a situation that I really badly need help with. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 2 years now off and on. The first year was terrible. I always caught him talking to his ex girlfriend. He was telling her he loved her and that...
A. 30 November 2011: Blood will usually triumph over passion for another.
The brothers will stick together, eventually, and you will be the one who loses.
Just the act of a brother slyly cheating on his brother's girlfriend is not a good recommendation of the second b... (read in full...)
Why did he do a disappearing trick on me. How would you have handled this situation?
Q. Hi everyone, I met a guy a month back in a business meeting and we exchanged numbers then added eaach other on blackberry. we hit it off instantly given the strong chemistry between us! He lives an hour drive away from me, so we were in touch on a...
A. 30 November 2011: You are way more patient than I would be in the same situation.
He is shallow, unreliable and does not know how to be honest when he communicates.
he may even be married?
Walk away and at double quick time (advice I agreed with when my friend M ... (read in full...)
Do I confront, support him, or walk away? My married lover confided he has started meeting men for sex.
Q. I need some support! I have had a relationship with a married man for many many years we are very very good friends and occasionally we have sex too which is like the icing on the cake. His wife is sick with MS so please dont criticise me for see...
A. 30 November 2011: As his wife's situation deteriorates with multiple sclerosis I imagine he is feeling very stressed. In the past it was enough to meet your from time to time to ease his tension and allow him a little escape from his wife. ... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 29 November 2011: Miamine that is a much more original name that some of mine. At least you can tell others your nick name in company.
And how civilized that you still talk to your ex. I love that, where it is possible.
Most of mine are cheeky (too cheeky) and he d... (read in full...)
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
Q. Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
A. 28 November 2011: hi Shadow Rose,
i love the 'Hun' one - your comment caused me to immediately think of 2 friends, (a couple), as that is their favorite too.
thank you for your thoughts on this
Abella ... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 4 August 2011: Hi Dodds,
I found your response moving too.
Thank you,
Your lovely understanding meant a lot to me,
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 5 July 2011: One DC person has made comment about this article. And needing to know more about how the second relationship progressed after losing my first husband and about going from being a widow with a child and how did I handle introducing a new man into my ... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 12 December 2010: Thank you C Grant (love the photo! Well chosen Avatar). You made my day on seeing you post. Your comments very much appreciate, regards Abella... (read in full...)
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