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I wonder if family stress should be blamed for the loss of my cat to kidney disease? Or are there other factors that cause kidney failure ?

Tagged as: Family, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 November 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 November 2011)
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Hi Readers,

I lost my Cornish Rex Male cat in April of this year. He was like a friend to me and I am still very distressed about it despite having counselling and being on anti depressants.

If there are any other cat lovers out there I was just wondering if they could give me any information about kidney failure.

He was undoubtedly very stressed as my daughter was living with me at the time and there was a lot of screaming and abuse on my daughters behalf which upset me a lot.

My family who I have no contact with anymore added to this stress as they have always undermined me and I was fighting to survive.

Anyway when I took my cat to the vet's a year ago due to him licking himself all the time the vet said that was a symtom of stress (Overgrooming) and that Rascal my cat needed less stress.

I told my daughter that the stress would kill him in the end.

Was I perhaps correct or is it normal for a cat as young as 8 and a half to suffer from kidney failure?

I just need some sort of closure on the matter as I am still very angry with my family and the years of stress that they created in my life when I had contact with my Mother in particular and was a crisis care line for her for the last 20 years of my life due to sister's drug addiction and Father's Gambling addiction.

My Mother also got very nasty with me when she was drinking.

I am afraid that I still cannot bear the thought of getting another cat despite people telling me just to get over it.

I cannot seem to get over it as my boy Rascal was my best friend and always there for me. He gave me unconditional love which my whole family do not. Most importantly I would really appreciate some advise from anyone who has any knowledge of cats and kidney failure and whether 8 and a half was too young to die and whether stress could have been a contributing factor.

Thanks Readers. I would really appreciate some help and advice as to how I am currently feeling and what happened to my boy.

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A female reader, yowie Australia +, writes (10 November 2011):

yowie agony auntSpeaking as a previous Rex owner, I can fully understand your loss, and offer you hugs and sympathy.

Sadly, kidney failure is very common in cats, and anecdotal evidence (from the show circuit) is that it seems to be more common in rexies. I lost both of my rexes to it (one 12, one 15) and eventually their red burmese mate, and they lived with me through a bad relationship breakup, moving house several times and finally a new relationship. Overgrooming and inappropriate toileting are definite signs of stress, but I have not heard of stress being linked to kidney failure.

It has been several years and I have still not bought another cat. I may never do so, the pain is still there though I think of my "three stooges" often.

Best wishes

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntFirst of all, I'm sorry for your loss :(

Like mentioned before, Kidney failure is very common in cat (as far as cause of death) I can't say if stress did it or if it could have been diet, food allergies, genes, infection and so forth. For instance grapes/raisins can cause kindney failure as well. Many times, however it comes down to gentics, untreated UTI's and poor quality catfood.

I do think cats are very sensitive to changes in the dynamics of the household. When my husband deployed, our oldest cat stopped using the litterbox, after countless tests and vet-visits... my vet suggest is was psychological. And guess what..? the day my husband came home, he started using the box again. Little turd! We recently moved and again he reacted with not using the litterbox again. Took him to the Vet again and then 3 weeks later he started to use it again ( I guess once the "dust" settled.) He is 13 btw. And very set in his ways.

The thing is, you will never know 100% what caused it, so I suggest you accept it and mourn him and then let it go. If you carry this around constantly it will feel worse.

I would suggest you look into a cat rescue - and help a little one to a better life? while the cat can help you heal.

Rejoice in the time you DID get to spend with him.

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A female reader, natasia United Kingdom +, writes (5 November 2011):

natasia agony auntI just wanted to say first that I am so sorry about what has happened to Rascal. I know that I have been very upset for weeks after losing a pet, and it sounds as if Rascal really was your family - he gave you what they could not. He was gentle and loving and asked for nothing.

I think the first thing, though, that you have to do, is to detach your daughter's shouting from what happened to Rascal. Kidney failure is a common thing to affect cats - from even a young age. 8 and half isn't a bad age to have reached. We had a beautiful Burmese who we had from a tiny kitten. He wanted for nothing, and had a lovely life. And then, one day, also at 8 and half, we found out he had extensive stomach cancer, and we had to let him go.

What I think is, you can't say that the stress or anything that you did or didn't do caused Rascal to be ill. It could have been (must have been) coming on for a long time - probably before all this business with your daughter.

Cat's lives are usually shorter than ours, which is hard for us to take, but I really do think your only salvation is to get another little Rascal. I know he can't be replaced, but you do have a space in your heart and life to love another. When you have a second child, it doesn't mean you stop loving the first one. You can love another little kitten, and bring him or her up. It might even be an idea to have two. All your emotions were tied up with Rascal, and he was only, like all of us, mortal, sadly.

Go on the internet right now and find a new kitten. Please do it. You think now it won't make you better, but I would bet a million pounds that in a few weeks time you will be starting to feel a bit better.

Good luck with it.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 November 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt Kidney failure is VERY common in all cats, both chronic in older cats and acute in younger ones. Cat food industries has even developed special dry food to prevent kidney failure and if it is bullshit or not, I have noidea, anyway my point is : they would not sell bags of dry food with " against kidney failure" on , if it weren't a recurrent problem- apparently , for some reason, more so in spayed or neutered cats. The hows and whys of feline kidney failure are not completely known and certain yet, anyway in general a big contributing factor is improper diet ( too rich in minerals like phosphorurs ) and most of all ,toxins in the bloodstream coming from permanent dental and gum disease , permanent skin infection ( virus or fungus ), permanent allergic dermatitis . Maybe your cat had some skin condition, or was itching because of dietary imbalance, who knows, it's more probable though that just stress only .

Contrariously to popular believe ( " as nervous as a cat " ) , cats are in fact very resilient to stress , they may react quickly to loud noises because that's how their reflexes work, but that does not mean they are emotionally vulnerable.

I am sure that Rascal had a full, happy , albeit not long, feline life , and was lavished with care, attention and affection by you,his human best friend. You always did for him simply the best you could in your circumstances, and there's nothing more than that which anybody, human or feline, may ask their friends.

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (5 November 2011):

Abella agony auntOne of the factors in kidney disease in cats is thought to be (according to my vet) too much dry food.

Our cat loved her fresh meat, her prepared "wet" food. And she loved yoghurt. But she also loved dry food from time to time. Now I wish that she had never had a chance to try dry food. Perhaps some cats are more susceptible to kidney disease.

Cats are vulnerable. To cars, to dogs, to wild animals, to all manner of threats. Perhaps be forgiving of your family, it may have had nothing to do with the problem?

Our cat was scared of birds! Since when have cats been scared of birds? But she was bitten on her nose as a kitten by a bird and ever since then she would back away.

I was heartbroken when our cat died. So I understand how sad you may be feeling. The children loved our cat from day one and she ruled the roost. The sunniest spot? Hers. The softest cushion? Hers Opening a new Yoghurt container? Better get a spoon out to give her the first spoonful. She trusted everyone.

And any tradesman had to be warned in advance to expect her to show interest in anything they were doing. The she would sit down to observe them as they worked.

She was surrounded by kindness and love. The only bad thing that happened was when someone broke into our home when we were ou. On arriving home we found her looking very poorly (and the door open and things in disarray) and we had to rush her to the vet. She was so sore on one side and the Vet felt that the cat had been kicked and was possibly bruised.

She recovered from that.

But her kidney failure 18 months later was a shock. She passed away at the vets and I insisted on bringing her home and she was buried in the garden with a little ceremony and flowers and tears.

And you are right. None of us can contemplate a replacement. She was so loved.

Many cats do pass away due to kidney disease. I think the solution is to put in a lot of effort to vary the diet and reduce the use of dry food to a minimum.

I am sure you loved your cat as a special cherished member of the family.

One thing that helped was to make a collage of all our cat photos from kitten to not long before her passing. I had and it was nicely framed. It remains a lasting memory of our cat.

My aim had been to look after her so well that she would reach 20 years and so remain in the life of the children during their childhood.

But the best thought out plans do not always work.

Though maybe a collage on the wall may allow Rascal to feature as a star every day you see his photos on the wall?

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (5 November 2011):

fi_the_tree agony auntI don't know much about feline kidney failure, but as a cat owner i know about the emotional connections involved...

We've had our cat (rescue cat) for near 14 years now (human years) and i have no idea what i'll do when she dies, i'll be distraught!! Don't think that by getting another cat you are just forgetting about Rascal altogether!

It's hard when our pets die because they are part of our family. You have said that the rest of your family don't want to know really, therefore Rascal became your whole world. I think you should get another cat. Focusing on looking after another little ball of fur will ease the pain of losing Rascal, but that doesn't mean you will ever forget him. It's clear that you have a lot of love to give, so go and find a cat in a rescue shelter, one who deserves so much love from someone.

Good luck, sorry i haven't answered the part of your question about the kidney failure, i hope someone else can give you an insight into that...

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