A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My son is 30 and for a few year I've suspected he might be gay. As far as I'm aware he hasn't had a girl friend and the friends he seems to be close to have always been mixed sex couples. He has women friends but no relationship that I'm aware of. Over the past 5 years things have changed, he's become more estranged from us, he's had 2 trips to Australia and talks about moving out there to work. Although his work place is only a mile from his house he's asked for a transfer which means he has to travel an hour to work and this makes me think he feels the need to put some distance between us before we find out about him.Two weeks ago I called to see him and as I passed his window I saw him in an embrace kissing another man which confirmed my suspicions. I don't want my son to move away but I don't want him to be embarrassed if I explain how I know he's gay. I love my son and I'm proud of him I just want him to be happy and preferably stay in the area close to his family who love him and will support him, what should I do ?
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (22 October 2011):
 I am sure that you do want to show your love, acceptance and support for yoru son at all times. perhaps he thinks you will not accept this? Whatever mis-interpretation he has made of your views and intentions you now have a chance to show him that you are accepting and remain loving and non-judgemental towards your son, no matter what his preferences. That you accept and love him, no matter what.www.Pflag.orgthen invite your son to lunch and ask him if he would accompany you to your first meeting of Pflag. If the meetings are too far away from you then ask your son how he would feel if you started a Chapter closer to your home?Pflag.org is an international group for parents and friends of gay people.if he asks why you are joining Pflag.org (and does not come out and say he is Gay) then stick with the fact that you are joining it as a friend.However surely he will understand that you do care and if he reveals that he is gay then look him in the eye and tell him, "Yes son, I know. Now i want to show my support for you by learning more and by joining www.Pflag.org if nothing else it should open the communication channels.
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (22 October 2011):
 Tell him you love him and are proud of him and let him know there is nothing he could do that would ever change those facts. Then tell him you want him to be happy and that you will support him in any life decision he makes.
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A
female
reader, cmarieky +, writes (22 October 2011):
If he grew up in that area going to school making friends and have other relatives there then I can see he desiring to move away if indeed he is gay and don't feel comfortable expressing himself. What he needs from u is love and support. I think this move will be good for his mental health for relieving stress. This is what he wants. It could be more to it than him just being gay. All u can do is tell him u love and support him unconditionally. He's moving for his happiness, it may be closer to where his lover lives or with his lover. Just make sure u tell him u love him and his secret is safe with u and regardless of how disappointing u may think it makes me I love u and accept u for being my child.
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