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"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie

I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)

And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf

“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “

"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."

That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.

And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.

When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:

With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.

Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.

We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.

It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.

In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.

Never underestimate such a person.

Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.

A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.

Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.

The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:

“A leader leads by example not by force. “

And now some less well known quotes:

“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”

by Daisaku Ikeda

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

by Maya Angelou

“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”

by Zainab Alsaati

Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')

'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie

I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person

'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,

kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer

'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.

Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie

"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson

“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa

"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt

'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie

what's your favourite quote?

But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.

There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.

They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.

Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.

There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?

Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.

Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.

What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?

Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:

Negativity?

Passive Aggression?

Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?

Envy

Jealousy

For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.

The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.

Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.

Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.

Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.

Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified.

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< Prev4445464748495051525354Next > [76 pages, 2983 answers]

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A.   28 September 2011: you are very welcome, regards Abella... (read in full...)

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Is this bullying or am I just being overly sensitive?

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A.   27 September 2011: PS : i mean Athens in Greece folks. Under the assumption that the OP lives in Greece (the flag used by the OP) But whichever country the 'big main city' suggestion still applies. Since there are more opportunities to meet and connect with peop... (read in full...)

How to hint other people I am gay?

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Husband has cancer but cheated on me when I was asleep nxt door with his kids

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I love him, but my family says he's from a lower caste!

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Feeling lonely, stressed out and tired

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My 6 months old baby from another relationship is upsetting my new partner. How can I make this better?

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How can I feel better? I'm sad about the breakup after I refused him more than we were doing sexually,

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A.   16 September 2011: block him, Please. It is everything he deserves. If you successfully remove him from your life them new doors will open. He is holding you back everything second you give him a second chance, over and over again. Once you have successfully... (read in full...)

How can I feel better? I'm sad about the breakup after I refused him more than we were doing sexually,

Q.   I was in sexual relationship with a guy 6 months back. I'm 16 and he is 23. I agreed for sex because I was depressed after my break-up and I wanted to get over my ex. It was online relation. We used to sex chat. We never did it in real. He want...

A.   16 September 2011: block him, Please. It is everything he deserves. If you successfully remove him from your life them new doors will open. He is holding you back everything second you give him a second chance, over and over again. Once you have successfully... (read in full...)

I am devastated, have lost everything!

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A.   13 September 2011: it does sound like he is the guilty one and that he is either: 1. Too spineless and too weak to stand up to his family - if yes, then he has shown you his true colors and has done you a favor by becoming disinteresed in you. 2. If he has cheated ... (read in full...)

How can I feel better? I'm sad about the breakup after I refused him more than we were doing sexually,

Q.   I was in sexual relationship with a guy 6 months back. I'm 16 and he is 23. I agreed for sex because I was depressed after my break-up and I wanted to get over my ex. It was online relation. We used to sex chat. We never did it in real. He want...

A.   13 September 2011: you are still a teen, you need good support. Please seek out a good Teacher at school who can tell you where to go to get good treatment from a medical doctor to give you help with these feelings of sadness. Once your depression is better treated ... (read in full...)

How can I feel better? I'm sad about the breakup after I refused him more than we were doing sexually,

Q.   I was in sexual relationship with a guy 6 months back. I'm 16 and he is 23. I agreed for sex because I was depressed after my break-up and I wanted to get over my ex. It was online relation. We used to sex chat. We never did it in real. He want...

A.   12 September 2011: Think of him like a Very dangerous Bad Drug. And you know for good health you must say NO to drugs, well you also have needed for a long tim to say NO to him. He has tricked your mind in the past to make you believe his lies. Abusers love hurt... (read in full...)

How can I feel better? I'm sad about the breakup after I refused him more than we were doing sexually,

Q.   I was in sexual relationship with a guy 6 months back. I'm 16 and he is 23. I agreed for sex because I was depressed after my break-up and I wanted to get over my ex. It was online relation. We used to sex chat. We never did it in real. He want...

A.   11 September 2011: quite the opposite. You will grow and prosper and enjoy life better without him in your life. Abusers hate the thought that their influence is waning. Go forth confidently into the world. You can make it, and do very well in the future, without ... (read in full...)

How can I feel better? I'm sad about the breakup after I refused him more than we were doing sexually,

Q.   I was in sexual relationship with a guy 6 months back. I'm 16 and he is 23. I agreed for sex because I was depressed after my break-up and I wanted to get over my ex. It was online relation. We used to sex chat. We never did it in real. He want...

A.   11 September 2011: No, any man who call you that terrible name does NOT deserve a response. Not ever. You DO need to remove all avenues of contact between him and you. Yes you do need to block him in every way. He has behaved very badly. Contacting him will get you... (read in full...)

He gets out of jail soon. Should I leave my abusive boyfriend now or stay and try again with him?

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A.   11 September 2011: You are emeshed in an Abuse cycle and it will take all your strength to Get out. But get out of this Abuse you must. People talk about the honeymoon stage of a relationship. But the Abuse Cycle also has a Calm before the storm stage too. Right ... (read in full...)

I don't know if he's flirting with me but I want to go out with him!

Q.   There this guy that iv know sense i was little we meet in when i was a cheerleader and he was a football player.anyways we have been going to the same school forever but know this year i really like him we dont talk that much or text each other we ...

A.   11 September 2011: Yes yes yes , he is delighting in flirting with you. And you, like any girl getting this serious attention, are flattered by his interest. Couple of points to keep in mind. He is charming, cute, totally delightful and possibly makes the butt... (read in full...)

My Bf believes others on my past Bf history. What do I need to do to show my Bf that I am telling the truth?

Q.   ok so i have been dating my bf for about a year and 3 months already and he recently found pictures of an ex boyfriend of mine who had broken my heart 4 months before i met my current bf and someone is telling my bf that my x and me didnt finish ...

A.   11 September 2011: it is a sad and sorry day when a boy friend decides to believe the lies, mischief and gossip of others. And prefers to ignore the honest sincere truth of his girl friend. Are you sure it is not your ex trying to stir up trouble to break up your ... (read in full...)

How can I feel better? I'm sad about the breakup after I refused him more than we were doing sexually,

Q.   I was in sexual relationship with a guy 6 months back. I'm 16 and he is 23. I agreed for sex because I was depressed after my break-up and I wanted to get over my ex. It was online relation. We used to sex chat. We never did it in real. He want...

A.   10 September 2011: As far as I am concerned you only had "verbal sex," because although you talked you were separated by miles. He was a few years older than you. And you were depressed and inexperienced. You are still the nice girl you were when you met him. A litt... (read in full...)

I am gay. He flirts with me but also sees girls. What do I need to do, and how, to get over him?

Q.   I have been in love with my best friend for the best part of three years, Our relationship is THE best... We hang out alot, we do sport together and we are very open with each other, buy I know I should give up and move on but I can't... He is ...

A.   10 September 2011: You know you are gay and so does he know he is bi or even entirely gay. His relationships with girls certainly do not last, do they? At least you are honest about being gay. Even if you feel conflicted at times. I think he does like you but he i... (read in full...)

My married lover puts me in awkward situations where I have to meet his wife. Why would he do this?

Q.   Hi, I am having an affair with a married man and have been for over 6 yrs, we are both in our late 50's,we both care for each other very much and get on really well and enjoy seeing each other. we can't break it off so please no moral judgments. i...

A.   10 September 2011: Sadly your married lover is trying to get you to do his dirty work for him. Either he is hoping you will tell his wife about the affair and that his wife, outraged, will divorce him. Or he is hoping that when you say something he can act outr... (read in full...)

How? Is it possible to get my cat back as first priority? And get my ex boyfriend back too?

Q.   Here is a brief paragraph of my situation. My ex and I broke up this month after a year relationship. We had a huge fight during a trip right before (this is our first huge fight, we were basically ignoring each other during the trip). When we ...

A.   10 September 2011: You cat is clearl very important to you. Do not be afraid to contact your ex about this in a nice manner. Arrange a time that is suitable, bring a friend with you to be a witness and bring a cat container. Early morning would be good as the cat will ... (read in full...)

Lesbian girlfriend too deep in the closet?

Q.   I've been in a lesbian relationship with my girlfriend for 14 months now, its actually a wonderful relationship but it has its problems. My gf and I are both in the closet about our relationship to coworkers and family. A couple of my friends know ...

A.   10 September 2011: You have already taken the important first step of telling those you trust about your sexuality (which is no one's business but your own - but you now feel comfortable enough to trust them and share more with them). And I am happy that you and your... (read in full...)

How do I get these collectors to stop trying to locate my Bf's ex through me at the address where I now live?

Q.   Im receiving mail that belongs to my bf's ex wife. She never lived here with him, so im guessing since she went bankrupt, collectors are still looking for her with my bf's last name. Is there a way to stop these mail or an easier way for me to re ...

A.   7 September 2011: sadly the Collectors may think you are the woman they are seeking - and that you have just changed your name to avoid them. OR, worse, his ex may have been trying to make out she is you (i hope not, for your sake). Just write boldly across the fron... (read in full...)

Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse

Q.   Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...

A.   13 June 2011: hi CaringGuy, This is a truly fine article. And is exactly the sort of Article I would like to refer others to. Thank you for your very well defined thoughts on this subject, Abella... (read in full...)

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