A
male
age
30-35,
*xtrachoice
writes: So, I was dating this girl during the summer. She's 2 years younger than I am, but we had a lot of fun together. I was serious about dating her, even though it was never "official." Anyways, we ended up having Her First Kiss. A few days later, she talked to me about breaking up, saying that she didn't know what to do and that I was this huge secret between her and her family. As crushed as I was, I decided to give her time and space, and tried to talk to her a few weeks later. She responded by simply walking away. I went after her, nothing big, just walking beside her. I asked her what was wrong, and after a few minutes of evasion, she said something about all the people at school and how hard it was to make friends before stopping. I told her to keep going, that I could help her, but she just replied "you wouldn't get it, you were popular." This baffled me, as I was NOT popular in high school. She then left, leaving me to wonder exactly who she thought I was.After a week, I decided to give her a call. I didn't mean to, but I ended up telling her how much I cared for her. Again, she had a small moment of opening up to me before hanging up on me. Against my better judgement, I called her back, and when she picked up, all she said was "I swear, if you call me again I will shoot myself" before hanging up again.Two months later, I went to see our school play, not because she was in it, but because I had several friends in it. I truly thought I was over her until she came out onstage. I didn't know who to talk to until I ran into her older sister at intermission. We ended up staying out there for the rest of the play as I explained this sorry tale to her, completely breaking down in the process. Her sister tried talking to her the next day about me, but all she said happened was that she got real quiet and distant.Following that disaster, I finally gave up. I felt like I was over her and didn't want anything to do with her. Until two days ago. She messaged me on Facebook (we aren't friends anymore), saying that she saw something that reminded her of me. I messaged her back, and she's been replying, but I don't know what any of it means. I thought she hated me and never wanted to have anything to do with me again. On the other hand, her replies are getting more curt and grim, so maybe it's just a slow motion replay of our last three encounters. I don't know anymore. Does she miss me? Was it just a spur-of-the-moment thing she now regrets? Does she just want to be friends? What is going on!?
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (30 November 2010):
it seems this girl has touched your heart. And you've tried to tell her how much. But she sends such mixed signals.
It's not fair, and it's not pleasant - but some girls with 'issues' they can't handle make things worse by acting bitchy, sharp, acidic and nasty to others. They have a nasty bitter cynicism that they erroneously think makes them look cool and smart. They are wrong of course. And they are unpleasant to deal with.
Some of them later mature later, some
never.
I really don't want to tell anyone to abandon someone they love. But i also hate the idea of someone working on a romance, only to be hurt later. Because the other party is playing mind games with their feelings and abusing their good nature.
There really is someone out there who will bring you greater long term joy than this girl IF she keeps her hot and cold/off and on/off, nice v nasty techniques on you. It is not the way a girl behaves if she really genuiinely likes you.
A
female
reader, khmngbrd7 +, writes (30 November 2010):
I figured id help u. Because I know what ur going through. Ya see im dating this guy and I have a lot of personal issues with family and such im completely comfortable talking to him about anything else except that. Idk why either. Its just complicated. But I can tell you this. Girls are complicated and will always be a mistery too you. Maybe she doesnt know wat to do try this send her a message saying I just want you to know im always open to talk anytime, and if u feel uncomfortable than I will wait til ur ready because I care for you. Simple as that either shell come around or she wont (usually we do) and if she doesnt than shes not worth your time but also u should be forgiving and considerette of her feelings and atleast pray for her or wish her the best if you swing that way. Hope I helped! :-)
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