A
female
age
36-40,
*aby1986
writes:hi, i am sooo confused. I am a divorced female,25. i have never had a boyfriend, and the guy i had an arranged marriage with so far been the only guy in my life. i am totally over my past. now the problem is i like this older guy whose 45. good thing is he is single. i dnt know what to do. i like him alot, but he doesnt know. what should i do??? i just cant let him out of my mind.he is a very nice guy. is 20years gap too much?? should i get over him and move on, or see if there's something possible between us? i think i look fine, but i just dnt know why i dont attract guys. so, i found him , whom i like alot and i think i know he probably likes me too. but just no ones do anythng about it because we are seldom in contact. what should i do?
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divorce, move on, never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (18 February 2011):
 Best of luck to you both. Good for you!
A
female
reader, baby1986 +, writes (18 February 2011):
baby1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo, Im back, to tell what happened after I gathered enough courage to ask him out for dinner..
He accepted my dinner invitation. ..........
Guess what, we are seeing each other :) he likes me too and we meet each other often. He never got married because he says he always waited for his girlfriends to ask him out. thats silly, but oh well, i think I am happy to have someone who likes me back and is caring and loving. I hope things stay nice and sweet like this forever. he doesnt have a problem with the age gap, niether do I, nor our families. Both our families know.. I hope there's whole lot more in store for us :) . tc thanks
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): Why is he still single at 45 I wonder? Do your family and friends know him? It sounds to me like you come from a culture where these things are important, as they can advise and protect you (if necessary).
It depends on what your culture says about dating. Can you ask someone you know in person, such as a friend or family member, to advise you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Go for it....age is only a number, you never know what might come out of it.
Just remember, that he/she who doesn't risk, doesn't win. So if you like him and he like you, why not?
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (5 December 2010):
 There is no problem because you are 25 and have some experience of a husband. If you were 15 and the guy 35 i would say no. But before you jump in I would want you to think about what are your interests and your needs and your aspirations. What do you expect and want from a husband. May sound silly to ask, but you need to be clear in your mind about that. Plus consider why your first marriage failed, as you do not want to replicate that situation. What makes you think this man has an attraction to
you? What do you have in common? What are your interests in life and what are his interests? These are things to discuss and resolve as you attempt to develop rapport with this man, if he is as similarly interested as you.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (5 December 2010):
 You're of age, so you can go after any single guy you want. Have fun!
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A
female
reader, baby1986 +, writes (5 December 2010):
baby1986 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your response.i am still very confused and worried. but if i still cant get over him and this goes on for some more, i might do something like u have adviced. ur right about "love may be found out of the strangest circumstances". thanks :)
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (5 December 2010):
You can't help who you have feelings for and although it is a huge age difference I know a couple with a slightly larger age gap but still around the same ages as you two and they seem really happy together. I say if you like him then it's worth it to see if you can love him. It's not wrong at all and you never no, love may be found out of the strangest circumstances.
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