A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I'm 17 and I graduated school last year ive now gone on to study for my A levels.Theres this teacher at my old school and everybody loved him and its true lots of girls fancied him but I didnt at this point but he was a great teacher and I respected him for getting me through my GCSEs.It was after id left school where things started to happen.We started emailing eachother and I know he did this with a select number of his other ex students too nothing bad just casual chit chat asking how things are going but the conversations got more personal and I started feeling really comfortable talking to him about anything and he felt the same about me as he opened up to me about past girlfriends his child hood and his family and friends.We sometimes talk til early hours of the morning and we never run out of things to talk about.Anyway he strted hinting that I should come and visit him after school so I did and I was just as comfortable with him in person as I was online and we sat and talked for hours.He's never been pervy or sleazy with me he treats me like an equal and an adult and the only physical contact thats happened between us is accidental brushing of hands and a long cuddle when I went to leave. However when hes talking to me I get these little hints that he likes me like if I have a downer as us girls do about our appearance he tells me I'm beautiful and that he prefers short girls hes tall like 6.1 or sumthing and I'm only 5ft and when he said he was lonely I asked him what he looked for in a girl he more unless described me.he also said he thinks I'm an awesome girlfriend when I share stories about my ex and that "he wants one of me" and he said we'd be compatible personality wise.I think about him alot I really do like him and hes in his late 20s so in my eyes its not a scary age difference and I do act very mature for my age.I want to know what people think of my situation n what I should do?? n if anyone has been in this situation already and what you did and what happened?I really must stress though that hes deffinetly not a sleazy guy he treats me like an adult and has never once made a pass at me or said anything to creep me out.I also doubt its just a crush because I never felt like this at school its only since ive been talking to him since ive left and got to know him as a person not a teacher that ive started to have feelings for him. Oh n also I get the impression that he likes me but he's worried to because of his job and the way we met and the age differenceas the other day he called me baby n then went oh wow lets pretend that didnt happen so any suggestions on this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): oh also I was ill the other week and he stayed up with me until 4 in the morning until i forced him to go to bed himself and he made me promise to let him know if i was ok or not in the morning because he hated me being ill. I dunno bt non of my friends wud be quite that dedicated and it seems very committed and caring behaviour for sumone hu just saw me as an ex student.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): hey Abella i understand where u r coming from but i really don't think that hes a bad guy, i get the impression hes being cautious becayse even though wer flirting and talking if he says anything that totally confirms he likes me i might go running and he could loose his job or for everyone to think he preys on youg girls. Trust me if he just wanted a chance at a sexual relationship there are loads of girls from my year who would happily comply tha are much more attractive than i am. i get the feeling if i was in my early 20s he'd have snapped me up in no time
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (5 December 2010):
 Although he seems genuine, based on your description, i would still proceed with caution.
Mainly because he is proceeding with extreme caution.
Almost as if he is aware of all the potholes that could trip him up. As if he has done this before, to a girl or girls in earlier years.
If it is possible to discreetly ask around, i would check out, if, in previous years, he ever had a pattern of picking out a girl from a previous crop of graduates and enjoying a fling with her until he tires of her. I am only suggesting this caution as i would hate to see you hurt.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): hi erm in reply to the second lot of advice he's not married with kids and my parents know him and respect him. If he wer a freaky weirdo then im sure he wud be trying to try something and he isnt and he also seems to know how delicate the situation is. Also like the male writer said in a few years no one would bat an eye lid at the age difference anyway.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): You are no longer his student, so thats one barrier that no longer applies.
You are past the age of consent, and so thats the last barrier.
At this point the only thing left to surpass is the social stigma of such a relationship (even though, legally speaking, there is nothing to stop you).
But I say if you two love each other, and no laws are being broken, and no one is being manipulated or abused and it does not interfere with your schooling or career desires, then fuck society of this one.
In four years time, no one would even bat an eyelid at it.
I say give it a go and if it works out, all the better. And if it goes South, then you can at least say you tried.
No one likes to live a life full of WHAT IF's.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): have you seen "An Education?" This sounds a lot like that, school girl who falls in love with an older man who seems to treat her equally like a mature adult but turns out to have a wife and kids. Yikes. I understand that this teacher seems nice and respectable, and you probably like him a lot, but cuddling with and hinting that he likes a past student who is more or less 10 years his minor seems creepy! Just saying. Hmm...If I were you, i'd focus on passing A levels and going on to University or whatever, getting a job, trying to meet guys your own age, or simply hang out with your gal pals and forget about or dont talk to this teacher again. It could turn out that he's a really pervy weirdo. Good luck though!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): Well if you like him .. let him know by small things i.e always smiling at him or even just tell him .. by the looks of things id say he likes you .. go ahead go for it! :D Good luck! x
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