A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Well im new to this but here it goes im 15 years old.Im in a long distance relationship I've been going out with him for a year and four months now.We meet by a prank call random i know but when we meet we hit it off and fell crazy in love with each other.Though we've been been have problems about my past .Last year we had many problems .He Lives in Laredo i use to live in Laredo years back so i had friends from over there call me and tell me and tell me all hes done that he flirted with a bunch of girls .Which made me doubt him a lot because it was a constant thing id hear something new everyday it hurt a lot but we got through it .Im not gonna lie im no saint either i made a lot of mistakes i lied to him and i hurt him i know i did. I guess what made me lie was because i didnt think it would be as painful as what he put me through that the lie isnt as painful but i was wrong very wrong.Heres where i messed up i told him hated my ex but later told him i made peace with him and that were just friends but before that i lied to him about my past with my ex i told him i had done stuff with my my ex when truth is we never touched each other or even kissed i guess my reason for saying that at the time was because it seemed like he was experience and i wasn't and i didn't want to look like the dumb one who was inexperienced so i lied and i regret it with all my heart .Though he has hurt me as well he tried to kiss my best friend in Laredo it was said that it was a misunderstanding he was out of it because he accidently inhaled smoke so i said ok.Ive tried to pay back for all my mistakes. I really have ive given my all to make him happy and try to gain his trust ive begged him to stay with me and made a fool of myself he would tell me to stop cryng it was annoying and he'd tell me to just be quiet but in a more harsher version and hed call me a bunch of names and id let him because id think i deserve it i let him insult me and tear me down as long as he was with me i let him.I was willing to give up everything i stopped dressing up nice to school i wear a huge blue sweater everyday to make him happy and wear lose jeans and i dont do my make up or hair not even at home. Im not allowed to go out with my friends or anywhere and if i do i let him know .Im also not allowed on the computer or have any social network .I lost all my friends i only have 2 friends i feel alone he's all i have .I use to have a myspace but i i deleted it for him we'd get into arguments because of it last year because i stopped letting him going on it because i thought he was being too controlling he'd do what he wanted and i guess i felt like he was trying to be in demand and i took i it bad so he wanted it gone eventually i gave in and deleted it for him but now he has a facebook and i understand since i had a myspace so i let him go on but lately we've been get into fight because of it.When id go on a bunch over girls write to him and he put i miss you to a girl and once he dj and put something about being with 13 nude girls and what hurt was he didn't tell me anything i kept getting surprised each time i go on and just a while ago i recently found out he was flirting with a girl on facebook saying shes cute what school does she go to and the sad thing is my mom sees all of it .I cry because he blames me for his actions .He said his reasons were because he's trying to get back at me for what I've done in the past .He also blames me for not succeeding im holding him back for scholarships he said in order for him to succeed he cant have a gf which i didnt understand because he was flirting with a girl while he told me this ?.Last week everything was fine i don't understand what im doing wrong he told me the past is the past and he was fine now all of a sudden he just snapped after so long.Everything was perfect till now he changed i feel like he doesn't care about me he treats me like i don't matter ever since after he dj he changed im losing him and idk what to do im alone i cant be bottled up all because i have no one to talk to i need help plz. Someone help me im in need of a'lot of help. Me and him are ok now but idk how long that will last. I love him so much. In a blink of an im losing the man i love and i feel like im losing my life.I know i made mistakes but i was a child and maybe still am im not perfect and neither is he .I really want us to work out but how can i if he keeps bring the past and hurting me how? I love him with all my heart we've been through so much together i cant picture him with anyone but me . Every time were together we forget everything and just show so much love and now i feel like hes acting like we never were it kills me .I don't know what happened he changed within seconds .What am i doing wrong i thought i made him happy i really did now he thinks if me and him should even be together after my past after a year and 4 months now he doesn't know im hurting someone plz im begging you to help me im so lost...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): the same thing happened to me i was with a guy for a year n a half we wld break up every other week but get back togthr it only caused heart ache trust me youll be ok just let and it "if you love somthing let it go if it comes back its meant to be if not well..." it took me two months he came back but the same as ever i wasnt as blind as before so i ended it this time without any remorse becuase i deserved better
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Firstly; I can't tell if Abella is being sarcastic; and it kinda worries me if she's not.
Look, love, you're *15*. Can I just stress that at *15* and after only 4 months; you're probably not in love with him. I don't want to patronize you, but you're still a kid. Dump him, get out with your mates and have a laugh. You're 15, focus on you, focus on being a kid and focus on having fun! Actually, forget your age for a moment; he's making you unhappy and you don't deserve that.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 December 2010):
 no one could read all that without sensing your deep pain. Please see a Doctor immediately, because you are under too big a burden of sadness and pressure for all that has happened. Talk to the Doctor about how deep your sadness is. The Doctor will know solutions. Depression is serious outcome when things are tough as they are nw. A LDR is hard for anyone to sustain. You do not think so no, but even this terrible trough will eventually resolve and things will get better. When you love someone checking up on them destroys trust so try to avoid that, but Everyone makes mistakes. Trying to make someone jealous or telling lies to someone we say we love does not help much. This is such a tough time for you
LDR always are.
But you dont have to live in shapeless
clothes and no makeup. No one should
try to control you either. Wash your hair, put on makeup and some nice clothes and enjoy the reaction at school.
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