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"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie

I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)

And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf

“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “

"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."

That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.

And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.

When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:

With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.

Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.

We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.

It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.

In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.

Never underestimate such a person.

Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.

A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.

Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.

The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:

“A leader leads by example not by force. “

And now some less well known quotes:

“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”

by Daisaku Ikeda

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

by Maya Angelou

“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”

by Zainab Alsaati

Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')

'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie

I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person

'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,

kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer

'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.

Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie

"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson

“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa

"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt

'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie

what's your favourite quote?

But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.

There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.

They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.

Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.

There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?

Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.

Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.

What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?

Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:

Negativity?

Passive Aggression?

Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?

Envy

Jealousy

For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.

The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.

Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.

Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.

Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.

Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified.

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My guy broke up with me because of family issues...

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My mom treats me like crap and I just want to leave home but I have nowhere to go.....

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Girlfriend is emotionally blackmailing me unless I agree with her!

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My boyfriend can't support himself, doesn't seek out jobs, is a druggie, can't drive, wont educate himself, is overweight, and wants to marry me! Do I stick to it and try to find him a job, again?

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My guy broke up with me because of family issues...

Q.   In January I met this guy and at first I wasn't really attracted to him. I thought hey why not I might just give it a chance. We met for lunch really nice guy. He then ask me out on a date, I accepted and I met him for dinner. I was starting to ...

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I love my brother in law!

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The way my husband acts I think he hates me!

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I don't feel I can trust my girlfriend anymore!!

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A.   22 May 2011: Smonty, this is just too terrible for you. Even if you have had a few relationship issues in the past I will prefer to focus on the here and now of this relationship. For that is the most pressing problem for you. First of all she is not acting li... (read in full...)

Guys from other countries--would you consider a US girlfriend?

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A.   22 May 2011: And OP it is really good that you have chosen to do some travelling and see some things. My cousins in two different states came back changed women after living a year (husband's work reasons) in one northern hemisphere country in Europe for one ... (read in full...)

Guys from other countries--would you consider a US girlfriend?

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A.   22 May 2011: I never like stereotypes. Because I cannot think of one country that does not have people who are all these things: good or bad. Happy or sad. Arrogant or humble. Liars or truth tellers. Racist or not. Xenophobic or not. Kind or not. Uncaring or c... (read in full...)

Would most girls be ok with their boyfriend going to strip clubs?

Q.   hey, i'm 20 and ive been with my boyfriend for 2 an a half years. he is going to bournmouth uni in september and i'm worried about him going to strip clubs. he has never been to one before. Would most girlfriends be ok with their boyfriends going...

A.   22 May 2011: I would be disappointed, but would prefer to be honestly told that he had been there. And I'd tell him that a private lap dance for him or a private strip is available for him, at home. That said, he probably will go, spend an insane amount o... (read in full...)

Would a guy act this way if he wasn't interested?

Q.   Random pretty quick question to answer. The other night i was out and met this guy and it was evident he was drunk. But other than the friends he was there with, I was the only girl he talked to! When we were sitting down he had his arm around me, ...

A.   22 May 2011: when a guy is drunk he is everyone's friend. If you want to see who he really is then see him when he is sober. Promises made while drunk would mean zilch to me, because he his judgement is impaired. See him when he is sober, then decide... (read in full...)

She knew I liked her. Things are awkward with us. How do I try to handle it better?

Q.   i liked this girl, still do, but she doesnt like me in that way, and only considers me as a friend. She knew that i liked her though. Because of this there was much awkwardness and it affected our friendship, that's why one i just told her that i wa...

A.   21 May 2011: It sure sucks when we really like someone, and everyone knows that, but the other person does not feel the same. But time is too short to keep mulling this over in your mind. If she is 'just not into you' then it is time you started looking ... (read in full...)

There is no valid reason why my husband refuses intimacy. What can I do about my controlling husband?

Q.   can anyone help me find out why my husband 46 won't get intimate or even have sex with me? This has gone on now for over 7 years now. Before it all stoped, when we did have sex, he humiliated me in telling me how to do what and when. He is a very...

A.   21 May 2011: Your husband may have Erectile Dysfunction and he knows it and does not want the humiliation of this to be discovered by you. If so get him to the Doctor on any pretext and get it checked. There are things the Doctor could suggest. Is he on high... (read in full...)

Is he trying to tell me something by taking longer and longer between when he calls me on the phone?

Q.   actually i do not know whether my boy friend is ignoring me or not. Things have gone from bad to worse. We only get to call each other. Before he was calling whenever he found time for me, but now he never calls me until a long time has gone by....

A.   20 May 2011: Sadly I feel he is trying to let you down very gently. Please do get on with your life. He is not behaving like a man in love. If he is not sharing his happy feelings with you and he is not sharing his doubts with you and he is not discussing his ... (read in full...)

How do we develop friendships and socialise with other people in our community? No one seems to want to socialise with us

Q.   My wife and I are in our mid to late 40s and have been married for almost 20 years and have one son who is ready to be on his own feet. Our BIG problem is that we do not have any friends. In fact no one wants to be friends with us. We have trie...

A.   20 May 2011: Not knowing you and how you relate to others, how you appear and how you converse with those people I may have to think of things that could apply, but may not apply. Please be forgiving if I mention things that do not apply. But if you do find ... (read in full...)

My guy broke up with me because of family issues...

Q.   In January I met this guy and at first I wasn't really attracted to him. I thought hey why not I might just give it a chance. We met for lunch really nice guy. He then ask me out on a date, I accepted and I met him for dinner. I was starting to ...

A.   19 May 2011: He sounds way too extra cautious like some nervous nelly. Maybe he has issues and baggage from the past that are still smouldering within him. But that is his problem and he needs to work it out before he can go forward. Did he envisage that you... (read in full...)

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