A
male
age
30-35,
*monty
writes:i'm a little bit lost with what i want to do with my girlfriend. i've been with my girlfriend with literally over a year and we're both in college doing our exams, and we're going through a rough spot.from the beginning of our relationship, i've had some trust issues with her male friends hitting on her, plus i'm a little bit paranoid. so a large part of our arguments were about that. I'm still trying to get over this a little, because I've got a rough relationship history. She has one friend, that she met for the first time around the same time she met me, and they've been best friends ever since, (he's male, btw) anyhow, they were always too close for my liking, so i talked to my girlfriend about this and she acknowledged my disliking, but they got even closer, and now they and another girl are going on holiday together and i said i'm okay with it... but honestly, i'm not.going back from my first problem, my girlfriend has a weird way of saying thing, and i always felt like i was the last person to know something, 'coz most of our conversations would have at least five "oh did i tell you this?" and i would naturally say no. whenever i ask what she did for the day when she goes out or to some party, she never answers, or tries to give a nonchalant nothing. the most recent incident was that she went to a party the other night and i asked her to text me once every while to know what is happening. however she only texted me once in 6 hours saying "awesome" and then i asked her what happened and she did not reply. then she tried to call me, asking me to come library to study for our exams, i was still very annoyed about the other night and tried to talk to her about, and she gave one of her wonderful little sarcastic comments (!)i got pissed off and ended the abruptly. she got really angry and called me a lot of very ... rude.. words, so i didn't bother answering. so i got a text later in the afternoon saying she won't talk to me for a long time and this is the last text. then i found out that she went to the "best friends" house for the whole day.i don't feel like i can trust her anymore. oh, and i forgot to include about how they both flirt like sex buddies, its really aggravating.i'm really fighting myself here, over the year, i've noticed that i have put on weight and started smoking again to deal with stress, but i can't tell who and what the stress is from, my family, my girlfriend or pressure from education.i would really like a lil' bit of life advice here, i'm not sure what to do with this girl, i'm in love with her ( i think) and we're both first loves, but our relationship has been a bit tough but i'm not sure if we should deal with the period or go our separate ways.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011): I have found that women rarely cheat or gives their guy a reason not to trust them unless their guy does something to set them off.
I think you should talk to her to her and find put what you did to her to make her act this way. Then correct and so you can get this thing back on track.
Hope this helps.
AMAL
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (22 May 2011):
 Smonty, this is just too terrible for you. Even if you have had a few relationship issues in the past I will prefer to focus on the here and now of this relationship. For that is the most pressing problem for you.First of all she is not acting like your Gf, she is not relating to you, nor respecting you as a Gf does and should. She is way too close to this other guy.Red flags that she has chosen to go on holidays with these others and not with you.Super red flags that she spoke to you disrespectfully.No matter what you think you have with this girl it is not enough to be called a Gf and Bf relationship.You are acceptable enough to be company when you are doing homework, but not for social activities.NO Way! She is treating you poorly.You would not have ''trust'' issues if she did not give you so many reasons to not trust her.Time to ditch her emotionally and in every other way. And instead the best revenge will be for you to end up so hot that she will be sorry.Over-haul your diet. So NO more sugar laden drinks. Walk every day. Do weights. Eat very healthy. Work on your school work. Get good grades. Get your body toned. And lose 10per cent of your body weight in Stop doubting your self.You have made too many excuses for her unacceptable rude nasty dismissive behavior.Nice loyal loving caring Gfs do not behave like her.Nice Gfs would not dream of going to a party and a holiday without you. They would want you with them.Concentrate on getting fitter, healthier, less stressed. Then when you are ready list your ten best character traits/attributes that you possess that make you a great Bf.Now try to list the ten top positive character traits that you need in GF. Then you will be ready to go looking for this next Gf.
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