A
female
age
36-40,
*rublonde
writes:My boyfriend an I have been going out for 6 months now. We have kissed before, but i really want to make out with him. I have dropped subtle hints and even plain out told him. He says he wants to also, but will not follow through. I keep thinking, maybe he just doesn't like me enough to make out with me. Do you think that is the case? Should i just drop the subject altogether? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 May 2011):
 It's not something you discuss, it's something you do. Make out with him. Next time you kiss, go for it. What's there to discuss? He's probably just shy, and doesn't know how to do it, so you have to take the lead instead of waiting for him to make the moves.
Just keep trying, even if it goes bad or isn't as filled with enthusiasm the first times you try it. It'll get better once he starts to feel comfortable with it and discovers how nice it is. But you got to just do it, 6 months is a long time to wait for a make-out.
If it helps any, my boyfriend didn't initiate make-outs either when we first got together, and it took a few weeks before he "caved in" and started to really enjoy it. He'd never made out before, and didn't know how to do it, so he was shy about it. I'm not shy however, and I wanted it, so I just went for it whenever I felt like and he soon had to get over his insecurities and let me have my way.
Just start with the normal kisses, find yourself a comfortable position when you can make-out properly, then start slow with your tongue, go back to normal kisses again and so on. Do this every day and he'll soon follow.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): i'm in a similar situation, except I am the guy postponing serious making out, even though we've been together for 5 months. Why? -I'm shy and so is she-I'm careful and I don't want to rush-I'm waiting for the right moment, I don't want to 'arrange' anything, as then it would appear shallow, and my feelings for her are far from being shallow -I respect and love herNow, I'm not a relationship expert (far from it), but perhaps he needs some time and some obvious hints. Perhaps he is not confident enough and needs to go 'step by step'. Perhaps you need to guide him just a little bit in order to break the possible barrier of insufficient confidence, over-carefulness and/or inexperience (yes, these are all my problems).I think it will happen at the right time. Yet, arriving at 'the right time' sometimes requires a catalyst, if you know what I mean ;) In other words, it might take time, but you shouldn't be passive. Don't give up, I'm sure he more than likes you :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (30 May 2011):
 Are there strong religious reasons explaining why he is delaying intimacy, such as: is he saving himself for marriage? Or is he a very over-anxious guy who worries about his shadow? Of course it would be wrong to force yourself on him, and wrong to try to trick him into going further.
Ask him gently if there is any reason for
his reluctance. It may not be about you.
You could try a very seductice meal together and see if that will do the trick. For instance oysters natural, a main course he would love, a side dish of asparagus spears that you eat secuctively, and then strawberried dipped in chocolate with luscious icecream. Put a strawberry in your lips, take it to his lips so he eats from your lips.
Try a little longer with this guy. He may just be far more respectful towards you compared to previous guys you are aware of.
...............................
|
