Like what
she writes?
... Add *bella to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
|
| Latest articles: Self Confidence - an easy step by step guide to help you develop self confidence.
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 June 2013: SELF CONFIDENCE I started writing an answer to a question, namely http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-change.html and my answer just grew and grew. I recognized it had become an article rather than an answer after I ex...
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 December 2012: One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
Cheating, Players, Betrayal and Trust issues. Should a Player or a Cheat be forgiven? - a collective resource on these issues, with some great responses that may help you.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 September 2012: CHEATING Today the feature topics are Players and cheating and Trust issues or can you Forgive or should you forgive if your partner Cheats? And the collective wisdom on DearCupid.org on Cheating on Betrayal, Loss of Trust and Forgiveness or n...
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
This question has 28 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2012: Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2011: Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
What are the attributes and conditions for a successful relationship that works? And what hinders the development of a successful relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2011: I would be intersted to hear from others on what attributes and qualities represent essentials in a successful relationship. And what are deal breakers that can ruin a relationship? By a successful relationship I mean one where both parties a...
Where is the world going? And yes this does affect relationships.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 March 2011: "Where is the World going? And yes this does affect life and relationships." The original question received from an anonymous female in the UK aged 26 to 29 and called "Where is the UK going" inspired this article. And you might think this does ...
Tunnel vision positive thinking - used to your advantage
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 December 2010: Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same. That's when it's much harder to feel positive. Even if we cou...
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
This question has 15 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 December 2010: You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
|
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 18 September 2012: I am sending this article to a truly Dear friend today who I know is grieving today. Suicide leaves such a cruel legacy for those left behind.
Today I feel my wonderful Dear friend might benefit from this article.
If you are suffering, havin... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 1 June 2012: Thank you Maverick494 for your very understanding feedback. I truly appreciate your comments. Your post made me very reflectful. And that was, originally all I was going to say. But you inspired me to say more.
Interesting that you observed... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 10 December 2011: Hi Anonymous123 the feeling is mutual.
I know what a wonderful contribution you make to Dear Cupid too. Your really great advice is clearly appreciated by so many.
Best Wishes
Abella... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 4 December 2011: thank you Tisha, for you are amongst the wise people I refer to, when I think of inspiring wise people, who I have inspired me with their wisdom, logic and good commonsense.
Such people include two long term friends, a Nun, and of course my grea... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 3 December 2011: Christmas can be a tough time, for some. Especially the elderly, those far from home, those who have just split with a partner, or just suffered a tragic experience.
Remembering who is not around to share this time with you. The media feed you imag... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 2 December 2011: hi Jonas
No I don't believe in retribution nor in Karma.
Because if I did I would have to conclude that the 'plan' was cruel.
And I don't believe in 'everything happens for a reason' for that too would lead me to question what 'reason' cou... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 2 December 2011: hi Jonas,
I feel terrible that I did not respond earlier. The first time started to read your response and the second one I was so over-whelmed that one family could have to face so much. And I had to go back twice before I finished reading the ... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 4 August 2011: Hi Dodds,
I found your response moving too.
Thank you,
Your lovely understanding meant a lot to me,
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
I need opinions on the way I approached her. Was my way too aggressive? Did I scare her away?
Q. There's a girl who works out the same gym I do, and we were flirting visually (or at least I believe we were flirting as we often had eye contact), never mind it, one day as I was leaving the gym and she was arriving ,we usually work out at the same ...
A. 16 July 2011: hi Vini, follow ups are lovely, and very appreciated, thank you, regards, Abella... (read in full...)
My GF wants me to remove a tattoo from my chest which spells my late sister's name, because my ex had the same name, and my GF doesn't want to be reminded of my ex!
Q. My twin sister died a few years ago in a car accident. I was really affected by her death. She wasn't just my sister but my best friend. I got a tattoo of her name on my chest so that she'll always be next to my heart. I have been seeing a...
A. 11 July 2011: definitely do not get it removed. Twins grow up very close to each other. Losing a twin is a very big trauma. Your G/f may not always be your G/f but your sister will remain your sister.
Your G/f should attempt to resolve her rese... (read in full...)
There's something wrong when my fiance isn't coming home until dawn is breaking
Q. I have been with my fiancee for over 5 years. I love her, and couldn't imagine my life without her. That isn't to say we aren't without our problems. Our most pressing issue is that we work different schedules. I'm an attorney, and she's in the ...
A. 11 July 2011: Hi,
Five years together, and you love her. So you would, hopefully, be able to discuss things openly and understand each other's needs and aspirations very well.
But should you be worried?
I think you are being entirely reasonable. Shift work i... (read in full...)
We want a baby. How can we when our sex life is kind of difficult?
Q. My fiance and I are trying to conceive a baby. however we are both little over weight and well...he is kind of small down there. I'm not very comfortable being on top, but everytime we have sex, his penis doesnt stay in. We both very much want...
A. 11 July 2011: Hi
I do hope you both get great joy from bringing a baby into the world.
Some time ago I read an article about an experiment where two groups were assembled. All in the age group 20 to 30. All wanting to get pregnant and all with a very high BDM... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should just ask him if he's into me, wait for him to come around or just move on?
Q. So I have been seeing this guy now for just over two months...i know it may still be too early to tell but i have no clue if he is interested in me. We have only seen each other 3 times in 2 months. He texts me all the time but never actually calls. ...
A. 10 July 2011: I don't feel good about his reticence either. What exactly is he thinking? A guy needs to show way more interest than this.
Three times in two months? Where is this guy, travelling the world in a submarine? On a space mission to Mars? Stuck on a lo... (read in full...)
My flatmate is threatening to evict me, I feel hideous because of my terrible ache problem and I have no love life. I just want to crawl into a hole and stick my head in the sand and not come out.
Q. First, thanks loads to anyone reading this. My problem is this: For the last year I've lived in another country. I live with a girl and another guy (they're not a couple) and we're all of different nationalities. They sublet my room to me. The ...
A. 10 July 2011: hi, this question looks so familiar that I am racking my brains as to how recently I answered one very similar to this gem, to see if I can improve on my answer to that previous one.
But I've look and can't find. So I shall answer anew.
The g... (read in full...)
I'm gutted. She split up with me and I didn't see it coming. How can I fix this?
Q. My girlfriend and I have just recently split up. I moved overseas to live with her after she lived in my country for two years. She told me that she dislikes the way I have spoken to her sometimes, she said she is changing and she wants to be ...
A. 9 July 2011: and sorry about spelling 'communicating' very badly. What a word to miss-spell in my answer??
Regards,
Abella ... (read in full...)
I'm gutted. She split up with me and I didn't see it coming. How can I fix this?
Q. My girlfriend and I have just recently split up. I moved overseas to live with her after she lived in my country for two years. She told me that she dislikes the way I have spoken to her sometimes, she said she is changing and she wants to be ...
A. 9 July 2011: After all the time you spent together I would think that surely the two of you do have things in common. So I think it is a bit tough for her to say that you and she have, 'nothing in common'. There are many relationships throughout the world wh... (read in full...)
Am I asking for too much from my husband?
Q. I feel as though I married the wrong guy. Background check. I'm a quiet person, dislike publicity and really wanted someone calm and understanding for a hubby. Don't get wrong he isn't all bad but when he shouts, gets angry over small issues, he's ...
A. 7 July 2011: how assertive are you willing to be to address this issue? Because deep down, i have a feeling that you were not joking when you told him what you did on your belated reservations about some of his actions?
Yes you should address these issues, befo... (read in full...)
From experience, when do you kiss a girl?
Q. Hi guys I just want to ask, from your experience, how would you know if a girl wants to kiss you? I'm 16 and I've never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl. I like this girl, and according to her best friends, she likes me. But I'm not sure when to...
A. 7 July 2011: As you spend more time together you will touch her hand, allow you knee to touch hers, accidently walk really close, shoulder to shoulder, catch her eye, smile at her, tell her cute things, listen to her and laugh with her.
And before you get into... (read in full...)
Is it just my husband that behaves this way? Or does a childless spouse always come last?
Q. To anybody who is remarried: Do you treat your spouse, who is not the mother/father of your children, as someone of equal importance (not more, just equal) to your offspring or do the always get pushed into second, third or last place? Do you ...
A. 5 July 2011: if you really want a child do not allow your spirit to be crushed.
I had thought I would just have to settle for a kitten/cat to take the place of the additional child I craved. Instead I finally had the joy of holding two more beautiful babi... (read in full...)
10 Things Guys really want in a woman...
Q. I received a message from a friend on my Facebook fan page and she had an idea for a post for my blog. She inquired if I could write about what men want in a woman. I thought that this might be interesting as well, so I responded to her message and ...
A. 5 July 2011: Hi Anonymousmale1, love all your Articles. Every one is quality all the way and very helpful.
And a joy to recommend to others who want to learn more,
Regards,
Abella... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 5 July 2011: One DC person has made comment about this article. And needing to know more about how the second relationship progressed after losing my first husband and about going from being a widow with a child and how did I handle introducing a new man into my ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's family wont let her make her own decisions and she cant come to see me with my child!
Q. Hi everyone its been so long since ive post to you wonderful people. This now me and my girlfriend have a 1 month old daughter we stay about 15 minutes from each other. The problem is i want her to come and visit me sometimes now and her mom is ...
A. 4 July 2011: so Lee Jong i do sincerely hope that you do get the opportunities to regularly see your child and the mother of your child. And I do hope you will not let obstacles stop you from seeing them.
My best wishes to you all,
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's family wont let her make her own decisions and she cant come to see me with my child!
Q. Hi everyone its been so long since ive post to you wonderful people. This now me and my girlfriend have a 1 month old daughter we stay about 15 minutes from each other. The problem is i want her to come and visit me sometimes now and her mom is ...
A. 4 July 2011: clarification: whether it is 'domestic partner' or a formal state authorised 'civil union' or a tribal ceremony regarded as binding on a couple according to local custom, or bells and whistles religious 'marriage' ceremony I tend to call them all ... (read in full...)
How would we know that we are sexually compatible with our partner???
Q. How would we know that we are sexually compatible with our partner??? ...
A. 4 July 2011: may the beautiful chemistry and happiness continue and grow.
A lovely follow up, I enjoyed reading it, thank you.
Abella... (read in full...)
If we do get back together, does it mean we won't have the exceptional chemistry we had earlier?
Q. Dear Aunties, I have recently broken-off a two-year relationship, so I'm in no hurry to get involved with a new guy. That being said, I have started to wonder if an ex is considering trying it again with me. I'd be all for it if it's not too soo...
A. 4 July 2011: Relationships are often rekindled after a break. Some reunions work, some get even better. Occasionally a reunion ends in the second break feeling even worse. It does not have to be like that. It takes a lot of work and commitment to reconnect ... (read in full...)
Haven't met anyone as good as my summer love. Is it worth the time to try and start anything?
Q. i really liked a guy last summer, we hung out a few times, then i went to school. this summer, we've been talking a lot more and we're getting pretty close. but fall time is coming and we're going to different colleges. Is it worth the time to ...
A. 4 July 2011: You can still be friends. Even keep in touch from time to time, including with friends of your friend. That does not have to change.
But since you hardly know him, other than as friends, why start a Long Distance Relationship before you've had time... (read in full...)
Help! I can't find the right words! How can I maintain a lot of online contact with him successfully?
Q. Hello Agony Aunts, Uncles, cousins, sisters, brother, etc. Please help! I have been in a relationship with a really sweet guy for about a month now and we'd been good friends awhile before, and we drive each other crazy and talk for hours and get on ...
A. 4 July 2011: Hi
Go on Twitter, temporarily, with a name that does not suggest you. So if you don't like Paris call yourself "Eiffel" or a variation. If you DO love Paris then call yourself "Merlin" instead of "Eifell" or a variation on Merlin. I suspect that... (read in full...)
Should I consider it? It sounds like maybe he likes me a little though? He's a decent guy
Q. there was a guy i knew from grammar school and now i am 26..i think a few years ago we may have liked each other..we hung out once to catch up but then i think he wound up in a relationship with another girl from the same school. I met someone as ...
A. 4 July 2011: In answer to your question, yes he certainly does like you a little.
As tactfully as possible do some checking to see if he and his wife have really broken up, or if the guy is just feeling like playing up a little.
If the latter, forget him.
If... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's family wont let her make her own decisions and she cant come to see me with my child!
Q. Hi everyone its been so long since ive post to you wonderful people. This now me and my girlfriend have a 1 month old daughter we stay about 15 minutes from each other. The problem is i want her to come and visit me sometimes now and her mom is ...
A. 4 July 2011: Hi
Why can't you and your girl friend live together? Or marry? Surely your child deserves to grow up with her mother and her father 24/7.
Although the mother of your child is older that is no impediment to marrying.
Have you tried to approach ... (read in full...)
I want to ask her for a date, but feel there is a far distance between us. What should I do?
Q. It all started when I saw a girl in the university about a year ago .. From the first moment I felt it was a different girl .. We did not talk a lot just to say hello as colleagues. She had a lot of friends and was very popular within the univ...
A. 3 July 2011: Can you drive the distance to see her? If so phone her, tell her you will be in her town on (nominate a day when you think she will be free) and ask if you can take her out for lunch in the place where she lives.
If she says yes ask her to nomi... (read in full...)
Boyfriend never buys me any gifts and has lame excuses!
Q. Hi, I have been with my bf for 2 and a half years now. I know we both love eachother. we don't live together yet. what really bothers me is my bf has never had a car or licence so I am always the one who has to drive to see him or drive where ever ...
A. 3 July 2011: Generosity of spirit in a relationship is so important. It is how he demonstrates by his actions that he values you, appreciates you.
Words alone just do not cut it.
And if he can lift his game you need to make sure that you respond very apprecia... (read in full...)
The sex is sooo good but no orgasms!
Q. I just can't figure out why i can't orgasm with my boyfriend. The sex is SO good!! But I've only come close a few times, but just haven't got there. I can orgasm by myself pretty easily. It's really frustrating for both of us! It's been months s...
A. 3 July 2011: It's foreplay, foreplay, foreplay and more foreplay.
All I can suggest is that together you spend a minimum of 20 minutes together on foreplay. Then he to give you a further exclusive minimum of 20 minutes foreplay, just for you. I know, it's toug... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend ashamed of me?
Q. Well ive been with my girlfriend for about 3 years, it's weird she never brings me around her house, never wants to have sex It comes to a point were I have to literally ask her if we are ever gonna have sex or not.. Its sad She broke up with me...
A. 3 July 2011: and as a postScript to my previous answer, No, I do not think she is ashamed of you. She is just thoughtless. She also has not been truthful enough to tell you that she has already broken up with you emotionally.
Moving on, by you, is the right thin... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend ashamed of me?
Q. Well ive been with my girlfriend for about 3 years, it's weird she never brings me around her house, never wants to have sex It comes to a point were I have to literally ask her if we are ever gonna have sex or not.. Its sad She broke up with me...
A. 3 July 2011: hi,
You do not deserve this. And this girl is just not into you.
Clearly you are a nice responsible guy. There are some gorgeous nice girls who will appreciate you 100 percent more than this girl.
This egg is scrambled, it's never going to bec... (read in full...)
She loved me first then she says she has no feelings but she cares about me so much....
Q. Hello, this is my first time asking a question like this. I mostly like to deal with my problems on my own but this time I need some help. I hope some of you read this and give me some advice. 5 months ago I've met with a foreign girl on a meetin...
A. 3 July 2011: hi, you did very well. You respected the five days NC. You were a gentleman when she came online.
And she is still maintaining the distance, even from the way she responded, that told you so much. For instance 'read between the respones (hyp... (read in full...)
How would we know that we are sexually compatible with our partner???
Q. How would we know that we are sexually compatible with our partner??? ...
A. 2 July 2011: I meant 'platonic' not the incomplete word I used in that which I wrote below folks... (read in full...)
How would we know that we are sexually compatible with our partner???
Q. How would we know that we are sexually compatible with our partner??? ...
A. 2 July 2011: Hi,
This is a great question. And demonstrates why you don't need to have sexual relations (yet) with a guy you are already compatible with sexually.
If you really already 'feel' the sexual chemistry then get to know the person first. Because ... (read in full...)
Did he lose interest? How do I make him want me again?
Q. My boyfriend left for camp Monday morning. I stayed the night at his house Sunday night after he asked me to. We didn't do anything sexual and haven't gone farther than touching and making out. I'm 16, he's 17, and we've been talking for about a ...
A. 2 July 2011: and the part about how do you reignite his interest when he returns.
Very very little (chuckles!) because I would imagine he is thinking of you, a lot!
However greet him with freshly washed hair, smelling wonderful.
My favorite shower products at ... (read in full...)
Did he lose interest? How do I make him want me again?
Q. My boyfriend left for camp Monday morning. I stayed the night at his house Sunday night after he asked me to. We didn't do anything sexual and haven't gone farther than touching and making out. I'm 16, he's 17, and we've been talking for about a ...
A. 2 July 2011: you are not being clingy. I can guarantee his is probably exhausted by all the activities they have mapped out for him. Lots of new things to understand. Rules to take into account. Routine to follow.
I think he may have been a little sad to be sayi... (read in full...)
Why can't I find a date?
Q. Hi all, I am a 30 year old that have trouble finding a date or even attracting women. I hate to sound conceited but I am described as good looking, I have a good job, dress well, have my own car and place. 1, I have no idea where to look or even ...
A. 2 July 2011: Hi,
Do you have lots of close good buddies male friends? If not then you may well be finding it difficult to be friends of either sex.
Are you a workaholic and very driven? If yes that can turn girls off.
Your conversational skills may need a l... (read in full...)
FWB who has moved to another state, wants to take our relationship to the next level. Now he wants nude pics of mine. Thoughts?
Q. So here's my dilemma, I a 20yr old woman and last year I left a 4yr relationship and I knew I wanted to be single for a while but as we all know not everything goes as planned. A few months after my break up I met a 23yr old guy in November...
A. 2 July 2011: Tell this guy to join an art class sketching nudes with charcoal on paper.
But NO, a thousand times NO. He has no place asking for nude photos of you.
When anything ever causes you concern, then ask yourself: 'think what this could become??... (read in full...)
Should I risk quitting my government job for a boyfriend who I haven't ever met in person?
Q. Dear Aunts, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now. We met online on facebook and started it out by being friends. I know it kinda makes no sense coz we live a world apart and never seen each other in person before. B...
A. 29 June 2011: hi,
No matter how much emotional energy you have invested into the relationship you are face with:
A convicted criminal - wouldn't you feel safer with a law abiding guy?
A guy on probation - wouldn't you feel better with a guy who lives so res... (read in full...)
Is he using me?
Q. Hi, thank you for taking the time to read my question. I feel like there is a need for a background but I'll try to be brief. Thank you for helping me! My boyfriend is 21 yrs old and I am 23 (we're both from Latin America, attending colleg...
A. 29 June 2011: I am sorry to say that the fact he wants to quarantine you exclusively in the Bedroom is not good. Guys who are genuinely in an exclusive relationship want to show their girl to the world. They happily befriend you on FB.
It's a pity that your week... (read in full...)
Is his attitude to spacing out the sex to keep passion alive normal? Or is he lying?
Q. umm my bf of a year doesnt have sex with me really often when i asked him about it he says that hes one of those guys who after a while the passion for sex with that girl fades and he doesnt want me to fade thats why he spaces it out. he shocked me ...
A. 28 June 2011: Yes, marieclaire is correct he may have a low sex drive.
Some men and some women rarely feel inclined to have sex. But if his sex drive is low now then things will only get less with the years.
His explanation, of why he spaces things out, is ... (read in full...)
How can I find my father who my mother tried in every way to exclude from my life?
Q. I am a female, 46 years old, married with own family. I have a very weird relationship with my birth mother who refuses to discuss anything about my father to whom she was married to. As far as I can remember as a young child my mother's ...
A. 28 June 2011: The first very good thing is that you have your birth certificate. Your father's details are on the birth certificate. If you were born in England then things are even easier as you can then locate your parent's marriage details to confirm more.
I... (read in full...)
How do I break free from this married man?
Q. hey well here goes. ive been in a bad relationship for a year now. i dont want any critisicm i dont need it i know what ive done is wrong i just have a proplem that i would like some help with. when i first met him i never knew he had a wife and i...
A. 28 June 2011: hi,
Congratulations on your determination to address this situation and break free. It's a tough situation, but I think you need to break away from him permanently, and then work on your self esteem.
Emotionally he has you enscared and you hold a m... (read in full...)
Condo manager is bullying tenants and possibly abusive toward his wife
Q. Hi Aunts! I have a "relationship" question about my Condo Manager. Sorry it's so long. I hope since this isn't a romance-related question you will still be able to offer some advice because it is really bothering me... Basically, I live in a smal...
A. 28 June 2011: Your fiancee has tactfully negotiated this minefield for 13 years.
Yes the Condo Manager is probably a Big Toad in his little power puddle. But are you making it worse for your fiancee?
Some older people are fiesty, but many hate trouble and woul... (read in full...)
How would you know your boyfriend is cheating?
Q. How would you know that your boyfriend is cheating on you??? What strong signs that he is doing it???...
A. 28 June 2011: A few more suggestions have been shared with me, when I talked this issue of men cheating with friends, and I felt it only fair to share them here.
My view is that if I so mis-trusted my man and thougt he was cheating I would question if I stil... (read in full...)
I need opinions on the way I approached her. Was my way too aggressive? Did I scare her away?
Q. There's a girl who works out the same gym I do, and we were flirting visually (or at least I believe we were flirting as we often had eye contact), never mind it, one day as I was leaving the gym and she was arriving ,we usually work out at the same ...
A. 27 June 2011: Hi Vini,
I am sorry it did not work out. But there are millions of lovely women out there and one of them will grow to adore you and you her. So patience.
Best wishes
Abella... (read in full...)
She loved me first then she says she has no feelings but she cares about me so much....
Q. Hello, this is my first time asking a question like this. I mostly like to deal with my problems on my own but this time I need some help. I hope some of you read this and give me some advice. 5 months ago I've met with a foreign girl on a meetin...
A. 27 June 2011: hi, as long as she is still talking to you and still trusts you enough to talk to you about so many different things, then there is hope.
But it does seem as if she is cooling a little in her feelings for you. So instead of being extra nice, in t... (read in full...)
How would you know your boyfriend is cheating?
Q. How would you know that your boyfriend is cheating on you??? What strong signs that he is doing it???...
A. 26 June 2011: hi Maldita,
May I recommend that you locate the Very special Uncle on DearCupid, namely: Anonymousmale1
via 'friends' on Dear Cupid. He writes the Very Best articles that help women to better understand men, especial 'players' and how to spot gen... (read in full...)
Should I risk quitting my government job for a boyfriend who I haven't ever met in person?
Q. Dear Aunts, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now. We met online on facebook and started it out by being friends. I know it kinda makes no sense coz we live a world apart and never seen each other in person before. B...
A. 26 June 2011: Wheeler's advice is right on the money (pun intended).
He's been in jail? He's on probation? The red flags are now Flashing Neon Red Lights.
Manipulators and Confidence Trickster Criminals are always the most Charming LIARS who know how to say all ... (read in full...)
Should I risk quitting my government job for a boyfriend who I haven't ever met in person?
Q. Dear Aunts, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now. We met online on facebook and started it out by being friends. I know it kinda makes no sense coz we live a world apart and never seen each other in person before. B...
A. 26 June 2011: be careful of him, he is probably only thinking of buying a ONE way ticket, not a return, this guy is starting sound like a phoney and very scary. In these situations the guy comes to visit the girl. It is the proper way to do it.
No way do you go A... (read in full...)
Should I risk quitting my government job for a boyfriend who I haven't ever met in person?
Q. Dear Aunts, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now. We met online on facebook and started it out by being friends. I know it kinda makes no sense coz we live a world apart and never seen each other in person before. B...
A. 26 June 2011: From every angle this does not work. He's telling you he unemployed with some airy-fairy ''business'' he's just started to bring in money. And that would be? He is way too vague.
I think you are right to bring in these important issues. He shou... (read in full...)
How would you know your boyfriend is cheating?
Q. How would you know that your boyfriend is cheating on you??? What strong signs that he is doing it???...
A. 25 June 2011: also he becomes more distant towards you. He disinterested. He gets irritated with you very quickly. He starts to find fault with you all the time. He puts on a frowning face when you speak to him. He's tense, not relaxed. He does not want to make ... (read in full...)
How would you know your boyfriend is cheating?
Q. How would you know that your boyfriend is cheating on you??? What strong signs that he is doing it???...
A. 25 June 2011: cheating signs.
He starts being evasive, more secretive, and difficult to locate at times - when his phone is switched off.
He takes a Lot more interest in his appearance, trims his nose hairs, gets a better hair cut. Starts paying more attentio... (read in full...)
Should I risk quitting my government job for a boyfriend who I haven't ever met in person?
Q. Dear Aunts, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 18 months now. We met online on facebook and started it out by being friends. I know it kinda makes no sense coz we live a world apart and never seen each other in person before. B...
A. 25 June 2011: hi,
Without doubt your parents love you, care about you, and want the best for you. Any guy in an online relationship should be the one to visit the girl and meet her family. And more than once, if he is serious, before she goes to visit him. Way ... (read in full...)
I need opinions on the way I approached her. Was my way too aggressive? Did I scare her away?
Q. There's a girl who works out the same gym I do, and we were flirting visually (or at least I believe we were flirting as we often had eye contact), never mind it, one day as I was leaving the gym and she was arriving ,we usually work out at the same ...
A. 24 June 2011: hi, she may be on vacation. She may been shifting house, she may be assisting someone at home who is ill, she may have been sent on an assignment or had a heavier load of work.
There may be other reasons, but her absense is about her prio... (read in full...)
I need opinions on the way I approached her. Was my way too aggressive? Did I scare her away?
Q. There's a girl who works out the same gym I do, and we were flirting visually (or at least I believe we were flirting as we often had eye contact), never mind it, one day as I was leaving the gym and she was arriving ,we usually work out at the same ...
A. 20 June 2011: I like your sense of humor. (about the business card) That great sense of humor will stand you in good stead with any girl.
Sorry for me assuming re a business card - they are so useful and unobtrusive.
I think you are well on track with this gir... (read in full...)
I need opinions on the way I approached her. Was my way too aggressive? Did I scare her away?
Q. There's a girl who works out the same gym I do, and we were flirting visually (or at least I believe we were flirting as we often had eye contact), never mind it, one day as I was leaving the gym and she was arriving ,we usually work out at the same ...
A. 20 June 2011: i don't think your approach was wrong at all. Guys approach girls like this in the gym all the time. And sometimes it's well received - It's when one sees them lingering longer at the drink fountain, or making a b-line for side by side treadmills. ... (read in full...)
10 Things Guys really want in a woman...
Q. I received a message from a friend on my Facebook fan page and she had an idea for a post for my blog. She inquired if I could write about what men want in a woman. I thought that this might be interesting as well, so I responded to her message and ...
A. 7 February 2011: once again an outstanding contribution from you - and I intend to promote it shamelessly in DC in my answers and to all the people I think can gain valuable knowledge from your great research. Thank you and regards, Abella ... (read in full...)
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
Q. You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
A. 12 December 2010: Thank you C Grant (love the photo! Well chosen Avatar). You made my day on seeing you post. Your comments very much appreciate, regards Abella... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
