Like what
she writes?
... Add *bella to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
|
| Latest articles: Self Confidence - an easy step by step guide to help you develop self confidence.
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 June 2013: SELF CONFIDENCE I started writing an answer to a question, namely http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-change.html and my answer just grew and grew. I recognized it had become an article rather than an answer after I ex...
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 December 2012: One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
Cheating, Players, Betrayal and Trust issues. Should a Player or a Cheat be forgiven? - a collective resource on these issues, with some great responses that may help you.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 September 2012: CHEATING Today the feature topics are Players and cheating and Trust issues or can you Forgive or should you forgive if your partner Cheats? And the collective wisdom on DearCupid.org on Cheating on Betrayal, Loss of Trust and Forgiveness or n...
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
This question has 28 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2012: Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2011: Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
What are the attributes and conditions for a successful relationship that works? And what hinders the development of a successful relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2011: I would be intersted to hear from others on what attributes and qualities represent essentials in a successful relationship. And what are deal breakers that can ruin a relationship? By a successful relationship I mean one where both parties a...
Where is the world going? And yes this does affect relationships.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 March 2011: "Where is the World going? And yes this does affect life and relationships." The original question received from an anonymous female in the UK aged 26 to 29 and called "Where is the UK going" inspired this article. And you might think this does ...
Tunnel vision positive thinking - used to your advantage
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 December 2010: Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same. That's when it's much harder to feel positive. Even if we cou...
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
This question has 15 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 December 2010: You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
|
Why does childbirth hurt so much?
Q. Why does childbirth hurt so much? I heard it's like breaking a dozen bones. Is it because the baby stretches out the vagina our puts pressure on the body? Please explain all the pains one feels when giving birth. I want to be ready....
A. 18 July 2012: Each woman is different.
And yes some women go through a tough time.
I can tell you my experience, to see if it helps. The smallest I gave birth to was 6 pounds 6 ounces. The largest not much more than that. Yes, I was conscious of eating healthil... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to want to have a wedding but not get married legally?
Q. I'm talking to my ex again and things are heading in the right direction. However, I recently inherited a lot of money so my life is going to be very different. I'm planning to travel a lot and I'm not planning to have a "real" job. I just want to ...
A. 17 July 2012: You don't love him enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him.
And the money you inherited is unlikely to last more than a few years if you don't get some reliable financial advice. And lock away enough to provide you with asecure ... (read in full...)
Why do girls always take advantage of me?
Q. im a very keep it to myself type of guy, this means that i never make the first move on a girl. So the result of this pretty introduction is that i dont get girls to date me. Bear with me on this for a moment :D ill get to the point :D right! Since ...
A. 17 July 2012: Thank you for your interesting follow up.
Invariably if a Product in the Market is not attracting buyers the manufacturer does not change the product inside the package.
They just do a few changes to the packaging.
I think it is Great that you h... (read in full...)
I'm broken hearted over this. Do I let go of showing my love for the son I can contact? Just so he can do well in his studies?
Q. Dear friends,im desperately in need of advice and i would be so very grateful if you could help me.. I'm divorced from my first husband seven years ago with three lovely children.. According to our customary law in my country,my ex-husband is en...
A. 17 July 2012: You are demonstrating the wisdom of Solomon and the love as a mother.
You want your son to do well at school. That represents the sentiments of any mother who truly loves her children.
You care about your children and you miss them deeply.... (read in full...)
I'm getting sick of him still getting angry at his ex. Should I continue to endure this uproar on his part?
Q. In a relationship 5 months both of us are one year out of a marriage, both still going through a split of property etc... My problem is that we ask each other for advice and we give each other advice, but he doesnt use it and just keeps getting ...
A. 17 July 2012: Your boyfriend is not yet over his ex. The fact that she can still make him so mad suggests there is still an emotional connection between him and her. Even is she has no connection with him any more.
Tell him to sort himself out. Perhaps with some... (read in full...)
Why do girls always take advantage of me?
Q. im a very keep it to myself type of guy, this means that i never make the first move on a girl. So the result of this pretty introduction is that i dont get girls to date me. Bear with me on this for a moment :D ill get to the point :D right! Since ...
A. 15 July 2012: girls cannot take advantage of you if you do not permit it.
If the girls try to treat you like their servant or their money resource then be alert for unreasonable demands and develop the confidence to say 'no'.
It will take time and work for you ... (read in full...)
Why do girls always take advantage of me?
Q. im a very keep it to myself type of guy, this means that i never make the first move on a girl. So the result of this pretty introduction is that i dont get girls to date me. Bear with me on this for a moment :D ill get to the point :D right! Since ...
A. 15 July 2012: hi
On first assessment it sounds like you are a gentleman but that you have low self esteem and are not assertive enough.
And you are just too nice and too accomodating.
These girls chose you. You did not choose them. This needs to change ... (read in full...)
Am I taking the birth control pills the right way?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have had sex and always made sure that we used a condom. I always felt bad for leaving it up to him to make sure that we were protected and felt that the pressure of making sure of that was shared so ...
A. 15 July 2012: I suggest you go back to the Doctor. Because the first time I started the Pill my Doctor told me to take it for the full month before considering that I had full protection.
Plus the Doctor said take it at the same time daily and never miss even... (read in full...)
I'm stressed out and worried all the time. Please tell me I'm not insane!
Q. Aunts and uncles... Please tell me im not insane. I think i have depression... I feel sad everyday and suddenly hve such a negative attitude which i hate, cancer has attacked my family and its took its toll throughout us all, ive been stressed with ...
A. 15 July 2012: hi
You have been through so much that Depression is a not unusual outcome. Try to keep to a regular routine at home as far as bedtime, breakfast, your day, and when you wake daily.
Hard as it can be try to keep things tidy around as an untidy e... (read in full...)
Baby on the way. Student loans. Can you help by telling me how to cope with all this pressure?
Q. Hello, I'm 24 (almost 25), married, a recent college graduate, and in 9 months... A dad. I just found out today from my wife (who is almost 21 and who is starting her senior year of college in the fall) that she is pregnant. We are not ready for ...
A. 10 July 2012: So many dearly loved children in this world started just like your Baby-on-the way.
Yes it is tough faced with bills and aims and ambitions.
But some re-evaluation of the budget can uncover all manner of savings.
And the strategic skills you... (read in full...)
My boss stopped flirting and started masturbating!
Q. I have a problem with my boss. He is nearly 60 good looking, and very friendly. I got divorced 2 years ago and he was incredibly supportive allowing me time off when I needed it etc... In fact I always found him a brilliant and very caring man. He ...
A. 8 July 2012: Your Boss is out of order, but is probably now mindful that he could be stuck with a Sexual Harassment claim.
So to cover his annoyance at overhearing you (as you stopped his flirting by your comments that you did not take it seriously) he has now ... (read in full...)
A friend who acted as go between - (my ex and I in the middle) has betrayed me. So how DO I get my ex back? If he believes her?
Q. Advice: As ridiculous as all this will sound its true,,, I was in a relationship w/ a great guy for over a year. I wasn't always the model girlfriend because I had my guard up. He said he understood and would always be there, ,always love me uncon...
A. 8 July 2012: Thank you for your lovely detailed follow up.
Stay strong and keep on a course to rebuild a better life.
regards
Abella... (read in full...)
Is it realistic to have an ambition to be a porn star? Or is my depression affecting my judgement?
Q. I wish I looked like a pornstar I feel like my life would be so much better if I was beautiful, who out there is beatiful but got dumped? I need to know it doesn't matter, I am so depressed....
A. 8 July 2012: You can be supremely Beautiful and Still get dumped.
Beauty alone does not hold a man who never intended to be faithful or who was always shallow from the start.
Exceptionally BEAUTIFUL women who are not porn stars are dumped daily.
But ... (read in full...)
A friend who acted as go between - (my ex and I in the middle) has betrayed me. So how DO I get my ex back? If he believes her?
Q. Advice: As ridiculous as all this will sound its true,,, I was in a relationship w/ a great guy for over a year. I wasn't always the model girlfriend because I had my guard up. He said he understood and would always be there, ,always love me uncon...
A. 8 July 2012: This woman sounds like the nastiest toxic person imaginable.
And your ex is a fool for ever believing her.
Though I have NO DOUBT that she can be very believable. I have met such people and they are truly frightening in that they lie so convinci... (read in full...)
He was horrible, but it was my fault , I think, that we broke up. Honestly, how can I get over him?
Q. So, it's been a few months since me and my ex broke up. We were together for about a year and a half, maybe less than that but close. When we broke up I was quite fine, I didn't mind at all, my feelings we're mutual. But now that it's been a few ...
A. 8 July 2012: Hi
first off you are way too hard on yourself.
Most times there are faults on both sides but you are only seeing your faults.
Besides teenage relationships have a very high likelihood of breaking up.
And the Emotions swirling around a failing... (read in full...)
How to avoid being used financially
Q. I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
A. 7 July 2012: this Article is a Gem. Once again I have found the need to recommend this article to an OP.
Due to a near-miss a few years ago and an actual direct hit when i was cheated financially, and as a result my antenae is well and truly Up.
From what... (read in full...)
I give, he takes. My business is in debt, he refuses to get a job. Does he love me? Should I tell him to move on?
Q. Hi My financee works for a company I set up 3 years ago. The business is going poorly.I started with my own money, and it is in my name, as he has no money of his own. It has a overdraft of a few thousands of dollars now and no income coming in....
A. 6 July 2012: I am so sorry that you are facing this demoralising situation. Where he should be supporting you he instead has used you financially.
Working so very hard in your business and yet watching it not break-even must indeed be frightening.
It is a sit... (read in full...)
My partner wont let me touch my own baby girl! How do I get him to stop this?
Q. me and my man just had a baby girl about 3 months ago. he will not let me touch her,i have held her only 2 times since she was born and fed her once and that was at the hospital. last night i thought he was asleep so i went to her crib and picked ...
A. 5 July 2012: Hi Melissa
I agree with So Very Confused.
This man is not behaving in a normal manner and I believe you and the baby are in danger from his abnormal behaviour.
Does he go to work or just stay home all day? Does he go shopping? He must not take... (read in full...)
Boyfriend mentally abusive because he cannot forget my escort past
Q. This situation is extremely complicated, but here goes. I am currently teetering on the verge of insanity due to an extremely psychologically, and emotionally abusive relationship with a man who cannot forget my past as an escort. I met this man...
A. 5 July 2012: Hi
In no way am I going to blame you for the work you previously performed. Life was tough and you needed to survive.
However I will BLAME him completely. He knows he has has a chequered history and his own upbringing sounds like 24/7 turmoil... (read in full...)
Should I Reconcile With My Emotionally Abusive EX?
Q. I really need advice as I've backed myself into a corner. I recently broke up with my boyfriend after I realized he'd been emotionally abusing me, lying to me, cheated (via email and asking for a girls number at a bar) and one time pushing me ...
A. 5 July 2012: and why is he delaying paying you the money he owes you? With excuses.
Because he is using that money as a carrot to reel you in.
Get someone else to collect the money - even if you have to give them a portion of the money for their help - that is ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable after a month to ask him where I stand? Or is it too soon?
Q. Hello :) Ok, so I'm just looking for some general advice please. Iv had one serious relationship in the past, which was emotionally and physically abusive. After 3 years I got my self out and although I am not the person I was previously, I f...
A. 5 July 2012: Yes it is too soon.
Keep it nice and flowing and remain open minded. You are still getting to know what makes him tick.
It is way tooooo early to think about asking him where you stand.
Reel him in slowly if he is really important to you.
Watch ... (read in full...)
Some varied ideas sought, please, on ideas for a first date to ensure it is good?
Q. Well i'am planning on going out with this girl and i was wondering...what would be the best place to go out on a first date? My plans where to go to a romantic french restaurant, that got amazing reviews with an amazing chief or so it has been said...
A. 5 July 2012: Keep it simple and don't over do it with anything too extravagant and over the top. Otherwise it will be intimidating.
Start as you mean to go on.
Try to make it FUN
And interesting.
What is she interested in?
What are her likes and dislikes? ... (read in full...)
Should I Reconcile With My Emotionally Abusive EX?
Q. I really need advice as I've backed myself into a corner. I recently broke up with my boyfriend after I realized he'd been emotionally abusing me, lying to me, cheated (via email and asking for a girls number at a bar) and one time pushing me ...
A. 5 July 2012: Hi BubblyGirl
He was attracted to you because he saw a nice girl who he thought would be easy to abuse.
A leopard does not change it's spots
He will start abusing you again.
of course he is being supernice to you TEMPORARILY because ... (read in full...)
My LDR says he does not love me but has feelings for me. Is that enough and is it OK?
Q. Hi, Do you think its OK that your LDR boyfriend whom you see every other week still doesn't love you but has feelings for you? We met online and have been dating for 6 months? I'm the longest girlfriend his ever had and his 28 years...
A. 2 July 2012: i think it is good that you are choosing to work on this relationship at a pace that suits you and hopefully you and the guy are in sync for more happiness in the future.
Best Wishes
Abella... (read in full...)
This hurts me. My best friend of 6 years has turned on me. Why would a friend do this?
Q. Hi everyone So i have been bestfriends with a girl for six years. Long story short she stabbed me in the back by turning my other friends on me. Some reasons included: i am immature, i make too many jokes , im too positive, everything you say anno...
A. 2 July 2012: well done, you are showing that you are the one in charge of your life.
And remember with mindless nasty people they are often wishing to put others down. Leave them to their petty enclave of bitchiness.
I am glad you have moved on, beyond their pe... (read in full...)
Besides Erectile Dysfunction could my low Testoserone levels be affecting my sex appeal to women in a negative way?
Q. Hi, I really need some help, especially from someone in the medical profession or anyone who might know about this. I'm a perfectly healthy, pleasant, bright, socially active forty two year old guy. But I've never had a girlfriend. In all m...
A. 2 July 2012: Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is far more likely to be a factor.
And your own self confidence in you.
EQ is not related to IQ (Intellectual Intelligence)
There are some highly intelligent people who have trouble attracting a partner... (read in full...)
My boyfriend died of an overdose and I don't think I'll ever be able to move on
Q. a month and a half ago my boyfriend died.. we got into a fight the night he died..after we got off the phone i put a block on thinking he would hav someone call me the next day to take it off so we can talk.. his sister called and said he was dead ...
A. 2 July 2012: Hi
Not sure if Bradmel is still posting here.
But just in case I thought I would share this link with Bradmel
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/coping-with-bereavement-of-losing-your-love-to.html
I do hope it helps
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
I want to be sexy for my guy but don't have the money for new clothes
Q. Hey! Im gonna be spending some intimate time with my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and almost 2 months (yay!) Well im looking for some lingerie ideas but i cant really go out and buy anything so im trying to use some clothes that I a...
A. 2 July 2012: Get a long long piece of silk and tie it around you like a sarong.
Use it to cover your body.
Then enter the room with your Clean beautiful smelling hair and skin washed in a lovely shower/wash and then your skin creamed with a lovely body lot... (read in full...)
Help! How do I overcome this crush on my former teacher? I love my boyfriend.
Q. Hi everyone. So I still have this huge crush on my old high school teacher. I'm in a serious relationship with my boyfriend and I love him so much and I would never end our relationship to pursue my ex-teacher (or get him in trouble cuz he's ...
A. 2 July 2012: Start a project that is all about you.
Start distracting yourself so that you have so many more options to think about.
Options that take you out of your comfort zones.
Because you are thinking too much about this guy as he is filling a vacuum... (read in full...)
We are talking. But some issues. Shall I move on and forget about her? OR is there something there?
Q. I know this girl for a good few years. I haven't spoken to her as much as I would have liked to over this period of time.. but recently we started talking again over facebook chat.. She was finishing off her degree (This all started about 2 months...
A. 2 July 2012: Several options here.
She may have lost confidence in her ability to cope with a new relationship, due to her past abuse.
She may have met someone else.
She may be having second thoughts.
Or she just wants time to get used to the idea.
And abu... (read in full...)
My porn addicted first partner? Or my other friend who is loving? Want to start again, but I'm scared.
Q. I'm a 49 year old women and have been living with my boyfriend for 21 years. We did split for two years but have now been back together for four. In the last two years things have started to go down hill again. He's quite a selfish man and just rec...
A. 2 July 2012: Twenty one years is enough time to give it a chance to work. And it is not working. Leave your selfish partner to his porn and start organising yourself to live on your own.
He might reform temporarily or he may react angrily. So better that you... (read in full...)
He told me in front of his friends he could do better than me and that our relationship is over.
Q. I need some advice. I am aware I need to leave this relationship but I need input on how and whether it's really something I should do. I hae a 2 1/2 year old son who considers my boyfriend his "dad" bc he's been there since he was 2 weeks old. Last ...
A. 1 July 2012: hi
You sound very responsible. And a great Mother.
Plus I am glad your career path is nursing. Because that is a great career path. Skills like that will take you anywhere. I think you and your son have a great future as a result.
Best wish... (read in full...)
He's denying anything happened. I know it did (just a little) . So should I just let this drop since he can't be honest with me?
Q. Ive asked questions about my best mate a few times on this site and wondering if he is bisexual or gay and if i had a chance and up untill now nothing has really happened between us except some flirting.. If you havn't read i'll sum up... Basica...
A. 1 July 2012: Drop it as a point of discussion.
If he tries it again when drunk don't play - let him know that you'll consider it when he's sober, considering he repudiated last time, once he was sober.
And if he tries it sober then ask him, 'is this what you... (read in full...)
We've been dating 3 months and now she's pregnant. So now I feel it's all falling apart so. Will this work?
Q. We got back from a holiday to interstate yesterday and the past few days she had been feeling sick - we put it down to something she ate or the heat but i got her a test to put my mind at rest. She did 2 in the airport in the morning and they came ...
A. 1 July 2012: you like kids but you never really wanted them.
Yes, finding out your girl friend is pregnant is a Major event in your life. The baby may turn out to be your greatest achivement.
That said, your girl friend needs your support right now. Not all... (read in full...)
There is nothing left between us but her abuse ....
Q. I have been in a relationship for over twenty years and we have three children, the youngest is eight. My partner is financially dependent on me, yet she treats me appallingly. It is no exaggeration to say that everything she says to me is critical ...
A. 1 July 2012: See a Lawyer as by her actions she is forcing you to leave by her actions.
She will also no doubt fight very dirty so I think you need some protection to protect you from ruining your own life and being too generous with her.
Yes she will get a a ... (read in full...)
My LDR says he does not love me but has feelings for me. Is that enough and is it OK?
Q. Hi, Do you think its OK that your LDR boyfriend whom you see every other week still doesn't love you but has feelings for you? We met online and have been dating for 6 months? I'm the longest girlfriend his ever had and his 28 years...
A. 1 July 2012: Feelings can develop into love.
I think he is being Honest with you. His feelings have not yet morphed into love.
He is not telling you lies, like some guys do, and making out he loves you.
He is instead being utterly honest with you and tell... (read in full...)
In my LDR we Text and I phone. But he has Never phoned me. Can we make this work? He's in the Military
Q. Hi, Do you think that in 6 months my boyfriend has never actually rung me up? We text daily and I've called him a few times but even if he misses my calls he will text back? I've asked him and he said his just always texted and doesn't really...
A. 1 July 2012: Change the rules and write him a nice long letter. As him to please reply as it would mean a lot to you.
At the end of the day in the military he would be exhaused. Though I agree that it is a bit tough that he refuses to phone you.
If he is ... (read in full...)
Should I tell this guy how I feel? He seems to like me, but I am being cautious. Should I be so cautious?
Q. I've gotten to know this guy well over the last few months. He asked me to go to the ball with him and I said yes, but before that I asked if two people can go as friends.. (I DIDN'T like him like that back then!) and he said "Oh. Well that's even ...
A. 1 July 2012: Of course this guy really really likes you.
That is very obvious, and I agree with him - think about going to the same University as him as I do think he is genuinely interested in you.
But do not deamean him by minimising your interest in ... (read in full...)
Not actually LDR. But what would work better? Moving in together? Or staying together but not living together ?
Q. Another crazy question for you cupids out there Is it better to move in with partners or live seperate? I ask this because i have been in 8 month relationship, we live in same city but it feels more like long distance relationship, se...
A. 1 July 2012: For some reason you have some doubts.
Are those your real doubts about this relationship?
Or are you just naturally a very conservative cautious person who is overly anxious about making a mistake?
If the former then do not move in.
If the... (read in full...)
She says she loves me yet she doesn't want to walk out of her bad marriage
Q. I have a lady who I have known for 20 some years,she is the wife of an ex-friend, who I had never gotten to know, because of him, he was real jealous and possessive. Well out of the blue he decided to cheat on her, she came to see me one day and ask ...
A. 1 July 2012: She is lying to you and she is using you.
Her dishonesty extends to you and her partner and who knows who else.
You meet one need that she has and she has no problems using you just as she would use any tradesman for any specific job she had arou... (read in full...)
She never stares at other guys. But she stares long stares at me. what is she trying to tell me?
Q. She Stares at me while I'm around. Like she will see me and look at me for a while. She won't take her eyes off me until she has to move or I walk away then the looks quit She calls me Hun whenever I talk to her. Like to wish her happy holiday ...
A. 1 July 2012: You say she does not stare at other guys. So something about you intrigues her. Maybe she can't take her eyes off you, because she is feeling and emerging attraction and she is looking for a sign from you that you feel the same.
if you also lik... (read in full...)
He told me in front of his friends he could do better than me and that our relationship is over.
Q. I need some advice. I am aware I need to leave this relationship but I need input on how and whether it's really something I should do. I hae a 2 1/2 year old son who considers my boyfriend his "dad" bc he's been there since he was 2 weeks old. Last ...
A. 1 July 2012: He is History
You and your son will be far better off without him. He is NO role model for your son.
And it is not good for you nor for your son to see this nasty man demean you.
What a loser this guy his.
Thank goodness this loser has reveal... (read in full...)
He's denying anything happened. I know it did (just a little) . So should I just let this drop since he can't be honest with me?
Q. Ive asked questions about my best mate a few times on this site and wondering if he is bisexual or gay and if i had a chance and up untill now nothing has really happened between us except some flirting.. If you havn't read i'll sum up... Basica...
A. 1 July 2012: this guy sounds like he is a little insecure about his sexuality. He may be bi and he may still be scared about coming out. But he has the strong inkling that he is safe with you.
let it drop for the moment, he is not being very honest with you at a... (read in full...)
This hurts me. My best friend of 6 years has turned on me. Why would a friend do this?
Q. Hi everyone So i have been bestfriends with a girl for six years. Long story short she stabbed me in the back by turning my other friends on me. Some reasons included: i am immature, i make too many jokes , im too positive, everything you say anno...
A. 30 June 2012: all her lies about what you are alleged to be are just part of the nastiness you are being subjected to.
Sometimes the very things pick on to criticiize are the person projecting They 'see' you having the very same flaws that they have.
You ca... (read in full...)
My boyfriend died of an overdose and I don't think I'll ever be able to move on
Q. a month and a half ago my boyfriend died.. we got into a fight the night he died..after we got off the phone i put a block on thinking he would hav someone call me the next day to take it off so we can talk.. his sister called and said he was dead ...
A. 17 May 2012: hi Bradmel
I understand your wish to devote your time and effort to your children and pour your love into your children. I thought that too. My thinking was that after losing one parent that I had to double my efforts to make up for what they were... (read in full...)
My boyfriend died of an overdose and I don't think I'll ever be able to move on
Q. a month and a half ago my boyfriend died.. we got into a fight the night he died..after we got off the phone i put a block on thinking he would hav someone call me the next day to take it off so we can talk.. his sister called and said he was dead ...
A. 16 May 2012: I may not be able to give you exactly what you need. Yes, I did cry every night (very quietly), for the first two years and I needed to do that to help me heal.
Everyone's journey is different.
Everyone's version of what works (as healing)... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
