A
female
age
30-35,
*Dazzling
writes:I've gotten to know this guy well over the last few months. He asked me to go to the ball with him and I said yes, but before that I asked if two people can go as friends.. (I DIDN'T like him like that back then!) and he said "Oh. Well that's even better." ?But now I really like him, about 3 months later. He offered to pay for my ball ticket because he said in the country where he's from it's "what a guy should do; pay for the girl." The other day I was joking about him having a job as a male prostitute (don't ask, just being silly) and he asks "so are you into me, if I'm not one?"He's asked "So who are you into?" and I thought *YOU!* but replied "Cheese, cheese is my soul-mate" (again, don't ask haha) and he says "My name is cheese? Lol jokes."We once had a misunderstanding. I was angry and ignored him and he got hurt. :c but we sorted that out.He rubs my back a lot while we're sitting down. Ever since the time I told him I was sick and he kept asking if I was alright, and he said "awww just imagine me giving you a hug :)" he always hugs me before we part, or he'll come up behind me and hug me around my shoulders while I'm sitting down. He does that everyday. I don't see him hugging other girls.He tries to convince me to go to the same university as him next year.The other day I wrote down random questions for him and one was "If you could go on a date with anyone on this Earth, who would it be and why?" He wrote "You? Because you gave me this?" ...He'd date me because I gave him a random survey?? Was that a joke?I once joked saying "That's why you love me ;D" and he says "nah I love you, you're such a lovely cute girl."He bikes past my house after work. Last night I came out and we talked. He kept trying to hug me and held me close for a long time at one point. He did again before he left and kissed the top of my head.It's things like that that make me think he may like me... do you think? But if he did then why hasn't he made a move? He's Asian and I'm white btw... could it be to do with race? I don't know.I was thinking about the idea of us going to the ball as more than friends in 1 month... but I feel too scared to ask, let alone tell him how I feel. :[ Should I..? How?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 July 2012):
 Oh yes, he likes you. What else could he do , poor kid , to show you that he likes you ?...
Yes, well, he could ask you on a date. Or just grab you and kiss you already !
I think he is just shy. And, he's your age, he can't be that suave and experienced. And, do not forget, you have been less obvious than him in sending signals, because you did not like him that way , at first, you changed your mind later. But he probably still remembers vividly how ready you were to say " we'll go as friends " . That must have cooled his go-and-get-itngness . Ditto, all the buddy buddy silly jokes. More companionable than romantic. He thinks he has been friendzoned.
I think he needs a little push. Muster some nerve, and tell him something like " remember when I told you I'd only come to the ball as friends ?... I am not that sure about it now, some things have changed... ".
I'm usually of the old school of letting the guy chase after you, but he IS doing some chasing, and he is very young, and he is Asian ( maybe it's just a stereotype, but those I mett did temd to be quiet and reserved ). Plus, I'd safe it's a relatively safe bet, I don't think the risk of rejection is minimal, so.... go and get him :)
A
male
reader, Nehemie Mb  +, writes (1 July 2012):
There are only two things that could make the fact that he likes you more obvious: him getting in an aircraft and skywriting to you with flashing colors how much he likes you, and him somehow bribing god into sending one of his angels to open your eyes so you could see just how much he likes you!He spends time with you, he cracks jokes...and by the way, the more awkward they are, the more he likes you, just saying! He is clearly affectionate with you, you can talk about almost anything (from what I read), he does things with you that he doesn't do with other girls! He tries to impress you, be honorable in front of you, and the icing on the cake, he worries about you, he asked you if you liked him!!! For Romeo's sake! KISS HIM ALREADY!!! Life is way too short for doubt and hesitation!You should know that, as weird as it sounds, a guy can do things that show he likes you, but guy find it particularly difficult to actually say the words, or go into an emotional effusion. But you're clearly nervous around him too, from what I read. Don't tell him flat out that you like him, actually...it depends of the context, if you ever happen to be in a very conducive environment (ball maybe?) or you're having a really good talk, then you could tell him directly, otherwise, give him hints, ones he can't possibly ignore. Try writing more affectionate text messages, spend more time with him, get him to talk to you more about touchy stuffs that way he gets comfortable talking about them with you; look him straight in the eyes: this is very underrated but oh so highly effective! Hold his hand, share stuffs with him...make him understand that you do stuff with him that you would never do with another guy, make him feel exclusive, it'll help him find the confidence to make his move!I hope the best of this, 'cause being in a relationship were you actually have chemistry is just the dreamiest of things! Good luck to you and cheers!
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (1 July 2012):
 Of course this guy really really likes you.
That is very obvious, and I agree with him - think about going to the same University as him as I do think he is genuinely interested in you.
But do not deamean him by minimising your interest in him when he takes you to the ball. Be proud, be happy. He will be your date. Act like a lady and treat him with good manners and courtesy. I think he will see it as a First date.
And look nice. Dress in something that makes you look classy and lovely.
Because you have admitted that you do like him. He clearly does like you. he thinks you are cute. He tries to hug you.
This guy really liikes you.
And you like him.
You don't have to tell him how you feel. If you make a good effort to have your hair lovely, your dress looking nice. Maybe a bracelet of dainty real flowers around your wrist and behave like a lady then he will know you like him as you will be putting your best foot forward.
In his culture 'face' is very important. Being rejected does lead to a person feeling ashamed in the Asian culure if they lose 'face'. So he would be delighted if you eventually did tell him how you feel.
Though right now his actions are telling you that he does like you. But yes, he is being cautious about it.
You are a from NewZealand and he is from Asia. But as New Zealand is a very multicultural country any such mixing of cultures usually works out very happily.
Enjoy the Ball, I am sure it will be a wonderful night
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