A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Do you think that in 6 months my boyfriend has never actually rung me up? We text daily and I've called him a few times but even if he misses my calls he will text back? I've asked him and he said his just always texted and doesn't really speak on the phone but I asked him too and he still hadn't.We're in a LDR too as his in the military. I know he doesn't love me yet, but has feelings for me. Thoughts please. Thanks x x x
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 have you told him you would prefer to talk on the phone?
perhaps he doesn't know?
and perhaps like someone said he can't really talk on the phone?
if you have told him and he still can't or won't...the fact that he contacts you is a good thing...
if you haven't told him, then you need to tell him you want to hear his voice and maybe set up a "date" so you can talk on the phone together. IF he agrees to that, then respect those boundaries... and only call when you two have agreed on it...
A
female
reader, HughHefner'sPlaymate  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 I think its strange but he obviously cares if he's been texting religiously for 6 months. I hope he's not hiding anything, all the best and I hope everything works out for you two.
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A
male
reader, Nehemie Mb  +, writes (1 July 2012):
I read your question with a smile. As I saw myself, a few years back, doing the same thing as your boyfriend. This is the most fascinating thing I've learned on this site: Women don't actually know just how NERVE WRACKING it is to interact with somebody you actually care about: you're always worried you'll say the wrong thing, that you're not interesting enough, that you'll bore that special person that sparks your interest and the list of things we worry about is ENDLESS!!!You said you know he doesn't love you yet, how do you know? I'll tell you, if a guy is with you (especially in a long distance relationship) for more than 3 months without ever having sex with you, I assure you that he finds something more to you than your lovely curves and your blue eyes!I'll tell you what's going on with you boyfriend: The way you meet somebody dictates in a lot of ways the rest of the relationship you'll have with them (medium of contacts, places you meet, etc.) I'll go ahead and assume that you met on the Internet, and you said you mostly text each other.I've got some good news, from my very own experience, there's nothing wrong with your boyfriend, he's just having trouble making the "switch", you know? When you have a very "virtual" relationship and it comes time to make it real life, that comes with a lot of challenges for the guys. He's probably asking himself if he'll be up to it, if it won't change things and so on.So the solution is to ease him into it, don't call him randomly, ask him when you can call, tell him you're dying to hear his voice, make it convincing, make it really convincing for him to pass up, lol you know what I mean! Start maybe with 1 minutes calls. Make sure to let him know that blank moments are okay (guys just dread those awkward pauses in the conversation), then grow from there (2mins, 5mins, 1hour). Just make sure you EASE into it!!! Cheers :)
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 July 2012):
 Change the rules and write him a nice long letter. As him to please reply as it would mean a lot to you.
At the end of the day in the military he would be exhaused. Though I agree that it is a bit tough that he refuses to phone you.
If he is genuine then your letters will mean a lot to him. They are far more personal than a text. You can also add in little drawings and a picture or two.
Once again give him time. You know more about his feelings better when you see him in person next time. Certainly your letters will let him know you care.
Then it will be up to him to respond accordingly
If he is then not prepared to respond appropriately and show his hand then maybe you will come to the conclusion that you are wasting your time.
But if you do break up with him please do the courtesy of breaking up face to face.
Hopefully your letters will encourage him to Lift his Game.
best Wishes with this
regards
Abella
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A
female
reader, Melaniee +, writes (1 July 2012):
 My husband is in the military too.We text a lot cause he can't be seen talking on the phone if they are walking or doing anything while they are on uniform (AIT). Most of the time we talk he have to go somewhere and stand still there so he can talk on him phone. If he is wearing a civilian clothes he can talk to me at any time, I guess it all depends on where he's at AND I don't know if he's on bootcamp or AIT? Or he's living on a Base somewhere thats when he's supposed to get complete freedom to use his phone because he's through with all his training.One thing I didn't like that I find out is these kids that joined the military got married AND divorce AND married again like its a Game, you need to write to him when you can't talk to him let him know you care for him, soldiers LOVE letters while on Bootcamp because they can't really use their phones :)
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (1 July 2012):
 If you like him, I don't think it matters if he phones or texts. He may like texting because he may not always have the opportunity to be alone to speak privately with you. With texting, he doesn't have to share the conversation with those around him. If you would really like to hear the sound of his voice, ask him to call you once in awhile for that reason. As long as you are communicating on a regular basis, and you feel ok with it, I don't think it matters. On the other hand, like Blonde30's said, if you feel you are putting your life on hold and are not happy because this isn't working for you, you can tell him that.
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