A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyoneSo i have been bestfriends with a girl for six years. Long story short she stabbed me in the back by turning my other friends on me. Some reasons included: i am immature, i make too many jokes , im too positive, everything you say annoys me. And i got told to my face that i will never make any friends at uni as no one wants to listen to my ' crap' that i talk. So that all happend and im an idiot and i dont stick up for myself hence i never said anything. All that happend and she still wanted to ' be my friend' as long as i ' changed' so i did ( worst decision ever). But since then every chance she gets she will make me feel small and embarass me infront of everyone , shes rude and gets annoyed by everything. So this has been going on for some time and its really affecting me. i dont eat , smile , my confidence has gone and i feel like rubbish. The only people that make me feel good are my boyfriend and best guyfriend who stand by me whatever happens. Months ago when everything was fine we booked a holiday together and that was the main reason i let everything go however i really didnt want to go as i knew the whole journey i would be miserable, i dont feel comfortable around her so i just dont talk much. So i phoned up my other friend and told her everything and that im not going on the holiday - she said she would talk to the ' bestfriend'. So then she phoned me up and it turns out apparently its my fault for not saying anything.Ever since i was a child i have put up with crap from relatives and friends and been previously bullied and due to the little immaturity problem she had before i didnt say anything as i thought like before my other friend would support her. This is the first time i stood up for myself and she knows shes been rude to me as she kinda admitted it but she says she didnt stop as i didnt say anythingOther people i have spoken to think she's jealous of me ( really not to sound big headed here and im sorry if i do) but as her parents refused to pay for her holiday and usually shes the one that gets all the attention from boys however at prom i had a ' transformation ' if you like and she didnt like the attention i got. Im personally not an attention seeker and since ive been in a relationship for a year and a half now she doesnt like that either...as she hasnt been asked out in over a year and shes usually the one with the boys drooling over herI really dont know what to do im depressed, i dont talk much or anything and i constantly feel like crap, any advice? i dont even want to go on the holiday but she keeps saying oh i didnt mean it please come...then talks about me behind my back im sorry its so long but please please please help me!thank you so so much x
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best friend, bullied, confidence, depressed, immature, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 well done, you are showing that you are the one in charge of your life.
And remember with mindless nasty people they are often wishing to put others down. Leave them to their petty enclave of bitchiness.
I am glad you have moved on, beyond their petty Bile.
'What other people think of you is not your business. It is their problem. Let them worry about it. They have the time to sit around and be petty.
You don't have the time to waste on mindless petty people and gossips.
You have a life to lead.'
Go foward in life confidently.
And Best Wishes
Abella
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for answering
I told the them im not coming on holiday with them , they were rather rude and basically only wanted me to come as else they would have to pay extra.
Ive now got new goals to look forward too , my parents are supporting me.
For the first time in ages i feel good about myself, im moving away from home soon and forgetting about them all
thank you once more :) x
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (30 June 2012):
all her lies about what you are alleged to be are just part of the nastiness you are being subjected to.
Sometimes the very things pick on to criticiize are the person projecting They 'see' you having the very same flaws that they have.
You cannot recognise it in others unless it is already
wihhin you
So when you see beauty inside others it is because you already have that same beauty within you.
When a person accuses you of a shopping list of flaws it is because they want to take the heat off themselves.
They really have those flaws themselves, so they accuse others of the same flaws.
It is very immature behaviour to 'label' people.
AND yes, your past probably has an influence here too. Unless you get some counselling to find out WHY then it is likely that the same pattern will keep on happening. Because your insecure feelings have some relevance to your punishing past.
The most important thing you can do is focus all your efforts on making you moe assertive and involved in more happy things.
If you can see a counsellor for at least two subjects /situations that bother you.
Until we learn to deal with tough situations then the same problems will tend to revisit our lives.
Change your approach to things. Avloid your friend of 6 years and her hanger on people who have turned on you
And focus on making your life Good now, Better very soon and the finally ensure that your life can imporve - as ;pmg as you keep a good sense of humour and a smile on your face.
Nasty people like your friend of 6 years cannot teach you good lessons.
I do hope some short term counselling can make the world of difference.
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