Like what
she writes?
... Add *bella to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
|
| Latest articles: Self Confidence - an easy step by step guide to help you develop self confidence.
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 June 2013: SELF CONFIDENCE I started writing an answer to a question, namely http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-wants-me-to-change.html and my answer just grew and grew. I recognized it had become an article rather than an answer after I ex...
Answer number 1200000 has been posted. Achievements on dearcupid.org. Who will ask question number 300,000 on this site?
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 December 2012: One question this week, a few days before the end of the year 2012 on DearCupid.org has reached a real Zenith. A milestone. And a great achievement for the site dearcupid.org. Poster called CMMP has penned an answer and it is answer number 1200...
Cheating, Players, Betrayal and Trust issues. Should a Player or a Cheat be forgiven? - a collective resource on these issues, with some great responses that may help you.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 September 2012: CHEATING Today the feature topics are Players and cheating and Trust issues or can you Forgive or should you forgive if your partner Cheats? And the collective wisdom on DearCupid.org on Cheating on Betrayal, Loss of Trust and Forgiveness or n...
22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?
This question has 28 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2012: Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...
How do you feel about nick-names in a loving relationship? Do you have a favorite nick-name?
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2011: Does your loved one give you nick names? Or a nick name? And which one do you love the most? I think nick-names can be a barometer of a relationship. If the nick-names stopped happening then I would know there was a problem, even if nothing had been ...
What are the attributes and conditions for a successful relationship that works? And what hinders the development of a successful relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 August 2011: I would be intersted to hear from others on what attributes and qualities represent essentials in a successful relationship. And what are deal breakers that can ruin a relationship? By a successful relationship I mean one where both parties a...
Where is the world going? And yes this does affect relationships.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 March 2011: "Where is the World going? And yes this does affect life and relationships." The original question received from an anonymous female in the UK aged 26 to 29 and called "Where is the UK going" inspired this article. And you might think this does ...
Tunnel vision positive thinking - used to your advantage
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 December 2010: Life is never perfect. Even people, who look like they have it easy, still have challenges. Maybe different challenges to people doing it much tougher, but challenges all the same. That's when it's much harder to feel positive. Even if we cou...
Coping with bereavement of losing your love to suicide
This question has 15 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 December 2010: You can rebuild your life after some very close has died. But you need to do it at your pace. It certainly made me face life without rose colored glasses. And it opened my eyes to the fact that some people do not have honorable intentions. I am ...
|
Religious differences. Parental interference. I love him so much and I know he loves me too. What do I do!?
Q. I'm in love with my guy friend who has been brought up in one religion and me in another religion. I have started to question my beliefs about 2 years ago... now I identify as agnostic. A few months ago I told my parents about my love for my frie...
A. 14 August 2012: i do wish you luck.
It is not easy losing someone we love.
Losing a loved one even if that is losing his presence because of the relationship breakdown still hurts a lot.
This is a learning experience. From it you will grow stronger.
But ... (read in full...)
Another crush on teacher...?
Q. Story about this is kinda complicated so it's the best to start from the beginning: I met him on my first day of high school. He introduced himself as our physics teacher for next 4 years. In that time never even came to my mind that I will ever...
A. 1 August 2012: hi
You sound intelligent, aware, and you already have a range of interests. You have identified the issues confronting you. And you know what you want. As a result you are in reach of your goal to 'wash that guy right out of your hair'.
You are i... (read in full...)
Another crush on teacher...?
Q. Story about this is kinda complicated so it's the best to start from the beginning: I met him on my first day of high school. He introduced himself as our physics teacher for next 4 years. In that time never even came to my mind that I will ever...
A. 31 July 2012: You need some wholesome distractions because things like this fester when you have too much time on your hands.
Distractions or projects are something new that you focus on to learn that are outside your usual sphere.
#Think new skills - lea... (read in full...)
Am I handling this situation the right way.
Q. Am I handling my situation well. I am the mother of three. My older sons live independently. My 9 year old lives with me. He is the child of a man I have known for over 20 years. We first met in 1984 and had something years back then it ...
A. 31 July 2012: For your son's development he would benefit from being given an opportunity to develop a closer relationship with his father.
Facilitating that and encouraging the father to take a greater interest in his son would be good for both your son and ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the guy that every girl falls back on after their relationships don't work out
Q. Hi there everyone! I'm the guy that every girl falls back on after their relationships don't work out, or when something upsets them. I'm only talked to when it's convenient for others. One specific case has been bothering me lately however.....
A. 31 July 2012: For your self preservation you need to keep this in mind.
How many of these girls genuinely Reciprocate?
None I suspect.
If they do nothing for you except take up hours of your time and then ignore you later then they are not worthy of you.
... (read in full...)
Blown off once again... WTF?
Q. Hi Everyone! I've been best friends with this girl in my class for about a year now. She's someone I had a big crush on a few years back but eventually realized what kind of guys she likes... a kind of guy that I could never be lol. So... I...
A. 31 July 2012: Right now you still see her as the girl you have known for a year. She was the sweet girl you have a crush on. But she is not that sweet girl any more. She is deeply emeshed in the world of illicit drugs
You have done nothing wrong but she is i... (read in full...)
We broke up, and now he want his gifts back.
Q. hi guys 3 months ago i broke up with my boyfriend who was really bad to me,we are now exs. i wrote in about him a while ago and i got some really nice advice to just leave him,so i did that and everything has been okay but i havent been able to get ...
A. 31 July 2012: If you are emotionally attached to the photos (even though he does not deserve such loyalty) then go to the store and have the photos copied.
Then post him the originals so that he has to sign for them when the postman delivers the parcel to him.... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend and neighbour fancy each other?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 10 years and have 2 daughters together, he recently befriended our next door neighbour due to a shared interest in motorbikes, therefore he started spending a lot of time in our back garden with our ...
A. 31 July 2012: You are totally NOT paranoid and he does have a crush on her. He is flattered by her attention and although he is not yet in too deep it would not take much to sway him. This woman is NOT your friend at all. He is being utterly disrespectful to... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to go through with this relationship?
Q. I am an american women dating a turkish guy. We have been talking off and on for the past two years. He comes to virginia beach, virginia every summer on a work visa. We were introdued through texting by my brother which is good friends with my ...
A. 30 July 2012: You are wondering if this is a good idea and I think you mean will thi work out and be a lasting relationship that brings you and him long term happiness. You know more of the variables than the Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. And there are many v... (read in full...)
Do posters on Dear Cupid frame their questions in a way that would lead to them getting answers which they unknowingly want?
Q. This isn't a question about myself, it's about all of us in general who post questions here on dearcupid. I think it's an odd set up because, like with any agony aunt site, the only information the answerer has to go on lies with the questioner, and ...
A. 30 July 2012: sometimes when people are in the middle of the eye of the storm, and overwhelmed about an existing problem they don't see the full picture.
Sometimes they need a range of views to help clarify things and help them see the essentials.
And the... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 30 July 2012: just put it down to the fact that clearly he is un-couth , base, rude and immature guy.
You are not used to such types of men.
And you reacted with shock and disbelief that he was unlike the people you are used to.
You were taken aback by his... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him? or is it even worth it?
Q. So, I like this boy a lot. And He graduated this past school year, and going to college pretty soon, considering summer is almost over. Well, I'm only to begin being a junior, so pretty soon, I'll never have my chance. I'm really shy, but I've ...
A. 30 July 2012: So in the interim still spend time with friends, guys and gals.
But also concentrate on your own fitness.
Get plenty of exercise.
eat Healthily
Keep interested in current affairs.
Build your network.
When the time is right (if you an... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him? or is it even worth it?
Q. So, I like this boy a lot. And He graduated this past school year, and going to college pretty soon, considering summer is almost over. Well, I'm only to begin being a junior, so pretty soon, I'll never have my chance. I'm really shy, but I've ...
A. 30 July 2012: Right now he is totally focused on College. Age can be a big barrier at your age. However the plus side is that I suspect his family live in your area (since he went to school in your area). Which means he will be back to visit your area from time ... (read in full...)
My twin sister and I are dating twin brothers. Is that weird?
Q. We are identical twins and the guys we are with (4 months) are identical twins and we only just found out because we hadn't met each other's boyfriends before and I'm not sure what we all think of it. It's a bit strange. What should we do?...
A. 30 July 2012: It is not uncommon at all.
I have heard of this happening several times.
In the 19th century it was not uncommon for more than one sister in a family to marry into another family where the spouse belonged to family A in more than once instance... (read in full...)
The only thing I really have here is a job. Should I give it up and move where I could be happy?
Q. I am a 33yrs old female, separated but not divorced yet. Living on my own for almost two years, independet, not kids., free drama. I made a trip like 3 months ago..I met a guy..younger guy..I fell for him..we continued the comunica...
A. 30 July 2012: Where ever you live you need balance in your life.
You work hard in your job now, but you have not established life balance where you are.
Yes you are missing and mourning the life you had in your original country.
examine what made you leave yo... (read in full...)
She saved my life, I want to be friends with my ex
Q. Hey so i was wondering how i should go about being friends with my ex seeing that she saved my life a year ago and i don't want to lose a friend like that. I know we are not ment to be together cause she moved across the country....
A. 30 July 2012: Send her a light happy card in the mail. Something she can put on a shelf and see and cherish. More personal than a text. More private than Facebook. And more memorable than a phone call.
But not as personal as a heartfelt letter
Keep if light.
... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 29 July 2012: yes he was a jerk and a loser.
And his behaviour appalling.
But from this you have learned some very valuable good lessons for the future.
So in the end you have benefitted in a way he could never have imagine.
So from all this you have e... (read in full...)
I am scared because my online friend says he is coming to take me back to the States!
Q. Dear Aunts, What am I supposed to do when my boyfriend of 3 years whom I met online decided to come meet me, when everyone in my family thinks that I shouldn't be with him. He is someone that I met on facebook. Although we don't meet on a regula...
A. 29 July 2012: No, you are not stuck.
He is an adult. He made the decision to spend the money. you never asked him to do that.
You are not under any obligation to him at all.
And messing up you job and having to pay a penalty is not fair on you.
Why is h... (read in full...)
Religious differences. Parental interference. I love him so much and I know he loves me too. What do I do!?
Q. I'm in love with my guy friend who has been brought up in one religion and me in another religion. I have started to question my beliefs about 2 years ago... now I identify as agnostic. A few months ago I told my parents about my love for my frie...
A. 29 July 2012: There is supposed to be Freedom of Religion and Religious Tolerance
It is no one else's business.
Tell them if they make things that are your business into something that beomes their business:
"Well that does sound like you have a really b... (read in full...)
I had a period every month but dr. told me I'm 4 months pregnant! Has this happened to anyone else?
Q. Yesterday I went to my gynea and he told me I'm 4 months preg. Wat confuses me is that I've been having my periods every month and except for a growing stomach I'v had no symptom o reason to bliv m pregnant. My dr was puzzled too did sum ...
A. 29 July 2012: Absolutely. Yes
I worked with a girl who had regular periods all her pregancy. And did not know she was pregnant.
And she was still taking the contraceptive pill all through her pregnancy.
She was a slightly plump girl.
One day she called in si... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend get jealous when other guys look at me?
Q. So I was wondering whether I am right to be concerned that my boyfriend never gets jealous of other guys looking at me or get jealous at all, why? Is it because I'm a virgin? ...
A. 29 July 2012: No it is not because you are a virgin.
Instead you are blessed with an Honorable guy as your boyfriend is not a Control Freak who gets jealous at the drop of a hat.
Your lovely boyfriend is secure in who he is. He has confidence that he knows wh... (read in full...)
I am scared because my online friend says he is coming to take me back to the States!
Q. Dear Aunts, What am I supposed to do when my boyfriend of 3 years whom I met online decided to come meet me, when everyone in my family thinks that I shouldn't be with him. He is someone that I met on facebook. Although we don't meet on a regula...
A. 29 July 2012: You have rights too. He sounds like he thinks he can just take over and decide what it is you need.
He is rushing you and trying to move too fast.
These things take time.
If your parents do not like him there are some good reasons and their wi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't believe that I love him
Q. My boyfriend/sweetheart keeps saying things like "Don't say you love me when you don't mean it. You don't love me" he decides my feelings for me, and yet he tells me he loves me. I love him with every fiber of my entire being, but I don't know what ...
A. 29 July 2012: he's insecure and rude.
How dare he claim to know what is in your head.
Do not try too hard with this guy, as i think he is controlling.
I think he aims to make you think you need to give your all to him and even that will never be enough for h... (read in full...)
Would you consider this dating?
Q. I was 16. I had never kissed a boy before, i had a boyfriends before but never had done more than held a guys hand.(i was a junior and he was a senior) There was a guy i was somewhat friends with.(he's a twin) So i decided to hang out with...
A. 29 July 2012: hi
No he is not dating you.
You like him and he means a lot to you.
But his actions say that he is taking advantage of you affection for him.
Remove all the sexual advantages and delights that you willingly allow him and then I think he would j... (read in full...)
Do you see tis relationship going anywhere?
Q. About a month ago, I met a guy and we started to have conversation and he said he wanted to get to know me. I told him no because I was leaving the next day and I wouldn't be back until next year or the holidays. He seemed a little ...
A. 29 July 2012: If he enjoys your texts and derives value from the content and you feel the same then a texting relationship (either helpful/ platonic / or more) can continue for ages. Ask any parent whose child communicates with their father or mother in this ... (read in full...)
Is this extra weight normal and will I lose it as I get taller?
Q. I dont know if this is the right place to ask this but I need some help. I'm 14, 5,5/5,6 and 12st. I quite heavy chested like my mum, so I know that's genetic, but slightly overweight. I have a feeling this is something to do with puberty because ...
A. 29 July 2012: Ooops
I forgot one thing.
Even if you do not join WW do purchase a small blank notebook. Small enough to hold in the palm of your hand.
(1)Into this you write out your food intake daily. Every morsel. No one need see it but you, so please be tru... (read in full...)
Is this extra weight normal and will I lose it as I get taller?
Q. I dont know if this is the right place to ask this but I need some help. I'm 14, 5,5/5,6 and 12st. I quite heavy chested like my mum, so I know that's genetic, but slightly overweight. I have a feeling this is something to do with puberty because ...
A. 29 July 2012: hi You may be more genetically programmed to put on weight but that does not mean you can sit down and wash your hands of the problem. You may get a little taller, but unlike boys you have female hormones like estrogen also affecting weight ga... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spends too much time helping another woman through her separation
Q. Hi. I could really use your advice to help me determine if I am over reacting in this situation. I have a boyfriend. We have been dating for about five months so the relationship is very new. But I am having a problem with his attention on a f...
A. 29 July 2012: She may be partially inattainable to him. but he has an emotional connection to her and she is happy to make use of it while it suits her.
Some women are unbelievably good at putting on this 'needy' act. And if they are particularly attractive the ... (read in full...)
I am a good friend, but it just gets to me sometimes about how beautiful my friend is. how do I stop feeling this way?
Q. I have been friends with my closest friend for a very long time, we grew up together and have been good friends for as long as I can remember. She is a beautiful person and I love her for being there whenever. But its just some days I let it get t...
A. 28 July 2012: Maverick494 Also made some very important points too. I have known girls who have blossomed in ways I never thought possible in their later years. I saw some photos of Angela Jolie recently at age around 13 or 14 and she was nothing like she looks ... (read in full...)
He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?
Q. Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...
A. 28 July 2012: Two wrongs do not make it right.
Next time please take the High ground.
Do not sink to his level
And do not react in the way you did.
He behaved appalling you.
It would have been better to ignore his stupidity and move on.
he is not worthy o... (read in full...)
Why ask? Should I comply? My married lover wants to know about any other women I sleep with
Q. I have been sleeping with a married woman for over a year now. She has an open marriage (within some limits) and we get along great both inside and outside of bed. She and I were talking and I asked her if she'd be upset if I slept with other...
A. 28 July 2012: Oh Please? If she really cared about any STD then she would insist on a condom every time. She has an open marriage. Who could say if she did have another partner or not.
if you practise safe sex with any other partner/s then let her know that fact... (read in full...)
What's he on about? Wedding called off, he's moving out, but doesn't want to split !?
Q. Okay...so I'm feeling heartbroken and I don't know where to go from here? My fiance and I have been together for 4 years and we were supposed to be getting married this September. We've lived together for the last 3 years and we bought a new hom...
A. 28 July 2012: Sounds like the sex is just far too good so he wants to convert you into his FWB.
Do not fall for it
The relationship will become soul destroying where he still tries to keep you on a string and interested,and gives you just enough attentio... (read in full...)
It's a LDR. But he still hasn't told me he loves me. What should I do?
Q. Dear all, I'm currently having a LDR with a guy who I see sometimes every other/weekend for 8 months as his in tbe military. We're very happy and have made and booked future plans for next January his always treating me to holidays and really ...
A. 28 July 2012: He is probably genuine but has trouble expressing his emotions. Some guys are like that.
Explain to him that you love the way he is and everything he does. But that you need more actions and not just words. And you also need some words that rea... (read in full...)
Religious differences. Parental interference. I love him so much and I know he loves me too. What do I do!?
Q. I'm in love with my guy friend who has been brought up in one religion and me in another religion. I have started to question my beliefs about 2 years ago... now I identify as agnostic. A few months ago I told my parents about my love for my frie...
A. 28 July 2012: You live in the USA. That is the first plus.
You can marry anyone you like.
His situation may be more problematic. But if he truly loves you and he lives in the USA then so can he marry if he wants to, even if it is against his parents wishes. ... (read in full...)
I am a good friend, but it just gets to me sometimes about how beautiful my friend is. how do I stop feeling this way?
Q. I have been friends with my closest friend for a very long time, we grew up together and have been good friends for as long as I can remember. She is a beautiful person and I love her for being there whenever. But its just some days I let it get t...
A. 28 July 2012: even this will pass. Please try to accept that jealousy is a terrible curse and a wasted emotion. There are people who look good on the outside but certainly do not have your good attributes on the inside. You sound like a good person. Ple... (read in full...)
What are your best tips to help me become flirty and sexy and successful when talking to guys?
Q. Hi, I am fairly good looking girl, (or so I have been told) but I rather nerdy, I think. I seem to genuinely be the girl that the guys like to be friends with. I am not looking for a relationship right now, just some casual fun. I have been ...
A. 28 July 2012: Eye contact - and smile with your eyes
Smile
Listen very carefully
Do an online (FREE) test on Emotional Intelligence
Do not use a false laugh ever - it is irritating
Keep your body in tip top order - work out at a gym if you can
Dress nicel... (read in full...)
Is it that he just does not like me? I feel neglected and hurt by his actions.
Q. I met this guy at a club. we exchange numbers and texted time to time. then he invited me to come over his place to watch movie together. so I came to his place and had a small conversation with him suddenly he invited his friends and left me ...
A. 28 July 2012: he is certainly not interested enough yet. He was far too casual and not a gentleman and he would not have even considered involving his friends if he was really into you.
And he would havev gone out of his way to treat you well.
Instead h... (read in full...)
Where do I go from here? I seem to have lost my "friendly colleagues" in the charity shop I helped.
Q. I live in a fairly small area (an island) and worked in a charity shop which I enjoyed however for the second time one of the managers decided to open his own shop. The first manager and one of the workers opened their own shop. The second m...
A. 28 July 2012: Time can often heal these splits. Though not always.
And a small island is like a family. And Family animosities can run very deep. And hurts can be long remembered.
And sometimes one door closing is the opportunity to encourage us to consider ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has suddenly up and left me for an unemployed drug addict
Q. My boyfriend of just over a year has finished with me for someone else. The woman he has left me for is a drug addict and alcoholic, has had her 3 children taken into care, is dirty, rude, violent, and unemployed living in an extremely run down and ...
A. 28 July 2012: He may not be into drugs yet. But it is likely that something about this woman fascinates him.
And it may be the drugs.
The odds are that your boyfriend has a secret that he can more easily cope with, when he is with her, and not with you.
It... (read in full...)
Should I have my first homosexual encounter with this woman?
Q. Hey everyone I am 23 years old,and I would say for the past 4 years I'v been bicuruious and I would really want to know how it is to be with a girl..I don't know if I can go all the way and have sex but I think just first base to see what I feel ...
A. 28 July 2012: She does not sound like the best option for your first lesbian encounter.
You have known her for 6 years and still she has not made a move on you.
She is not ready to be fully honest in that she chooses to only hook up she she is drunk. That is ... (read in full...)
He's committed to me. FWB without the sex. So what do we have? And am I being too clingy?
Q. I have been with a guy for 5.5 years now. We are both 21 right now. we dated the first 2 years and then we broke up because of something one of my friends at the time told me he was doing. I later found out she lied. He said sorry many many man...
A. 28 July 2012: What a loyal patient guy you have been in a relationship with. He is a gem. But his patience is now wearing thin.
And you have been in a relationship with him. But his interest has faded and now he wants to spread his wings.
Very Honorabl... (read in full...)
Reasons I should, or should not date, my boss?
Q. I saw a post here recently about someone who wants to date their manager. Well I've been in this predicament for awhile. My boss and I get along great as friends and I can tell he likes me. I obviously like him too. He's only 3 years older than me ...
A. 28 July 2012: hi
It starts easily. It seems exciting. It seems cute. There is the novelty. The hope. The delight at seeing the person so much.
It can develop quickly.
Seems like it could go on forever.
But then the reality bites.
A little misunderstanding. It... (read in full...)
My brother is verbally abusing me and I've had enough. What should I do now?
Q. just a quick moan, fed up with my younger brother. Hes always been a bit high strung, on his high horse, strong opinionated etc but hes such a hypocrit! Last year he got a 30k pay off from work and pretty much blew the lot on daft nights out, clot...
A. 27 July 2012: Never borrow another brass razoo from him.
And never lend him another cent either.
He may be your brother, but no one needs to endure this.
Selfish, rude, arrogant, abusive. Who would ever want to spend time with this legend (to himself only... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
