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"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie

I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)

And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf

“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “

"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."

That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.

And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.

When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:

With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.

Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.

We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.

It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.

In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.

Never underestimate such a person.

Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.

A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.

Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.

The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:

“A leader leads by example not by force. “

And now some less well known quotes:

“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”

by Daisaku Ikeda

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

by Maya Angelou

“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”

by Zainab Alsaati

Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')

'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie

I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person

'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,

kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer

'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.

Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie

"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson

“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa

"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt

'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie

what's your favourite quote?

But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.

There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.

They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.

Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.

There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?

Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.

Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.

What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?

Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:

Negativity?

Passive Aggression?

Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?

Envy

Jealousy

For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.

The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.

Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.

Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.

Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.

Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified.

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My big crush. He wants to marry. But why is he behaving so weird?

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He's hiding me from his family and I feel stupid and hurt

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He's hiding me from his family and I feel stupid and hurt

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Unplanned pregnancy is striking fear into my heart even though we are to marry in 2 months!

Q.   Hello everyone. Well, I'm 31 and I've just found out I am pregnant. I am getting married in two months with a great guy who keeps telling me "I can't wait to marry you" and loves me to bits. He made it clear right from the start he didn't want k...

A.   15 June 2012: Two months before you marry? You should be so strongly aligned already and be on the same page as each other, such that you CAN discuss anything with your man. What attitudes and behaviours has be ever demonstrated to indicate that he is callous ... (read in full...)

He's hiding me from his family and I feel stupid and hurt

Q.   been with my partner 7 years first 5 were hard as he was seperated from his wife and his family didnt accept me after 5 years he went back to his wife who was ill but it broke my heart he also said he couldnt divorce for money reasons anyway ...

A.   15 June 2012: What does this man use for a backbone? Jelly? I am so sorry that he is putting you through this treatment. He is telling you, by his actions, that you are unsuitable to introduce to his family. And finding flimsy excuses to cover his discomfo... (read in full...)

What makes girls like bastards?

Q.   im a smart and honest guy about to be a sophmore:) But it seems like girls go after the asshole dumbass guys? im an average looking guy i wear collared shirts everyday because i like to have class. what makes girls like bastards?...

A.   14 June 2012: Immaturity is the biggest decider on why girls behave so badly. They also think (erroneously) that they are superior to anyone else. They lack respect for others. And they are not even half as classy as they think they are. And they are best avo... (read in full...)

I need to learn from my huge mistake and talk to girls better. Help!

Q.   well back in the 8th grade there was this wonderful girl i liked. she and i were going to be the perfect couple. long story short she found out that i liked her and i found out she liked me. so on the last day of school i wimped out and havent ...

A.   14 June 2012: First off you have a lot going for you. But you have lost some confidence in you. That can be addressed. However I hope you never quote the following when you are trying to interest a girl as it will end the conversation. Namely the followin... (read in full...)

How do I overcome my heartbreak? I slept with my ex. He said he loved me.Talked babies. Yet next day he 'forgot' to turn up?

Q.   I slept with my ex, he said he loved me, discussed marriage babies etc. Yet this morning we had plans. However he did not arrive, then later on in the day I said I feel like an idiot and he sent me too. (modnote: did the OP mean, "and he said me too"...

A.   14 June 2012: Your ex is a man of shallow feelings. He was dishonest with you and he only said the things he thought would press your buttons. And you believed him because you are honorable and he is not. His smooth words were a device to manipulate you to give... (read in full...)

My big crush. He wants to marry. But why is he behaving so weird?

Q.   our relationship has been weird since the beginning . we were friends for like a month. but true all the month he kept pointing out that he liked me then he disappeared for like two weeks .and when he came back after a week we became boyfrien...

A.   11 June 2012: i think he is a sweet boy but that he is not well. He may be scared to tell you how not well. Some people, (in error), self medicate with illicit drugs, when they start to feel unwell. In the hope that the drugs will fix the problem and address ... (read in full...)

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