A
male
age
30-35,
*razybeast
writes:Ive asked questions about my best mate a few times on this site and wondering if he is bisexual or gay and if i had a chance and up untill now nothing has really happened between us except some flirting..If you havn't read i'll sum up... Basically ive fancied/loved this guy for a very long time(best part of 4 years now) and ive always thought that he might like guys.Well, This thursday we was drinking heavily and everything was normal. We stopped drinking about 2ish after about 4 hours and we got back to my home at 5, by this time we was both coherent and sober and we also had a heavy breakfast and coffee. We decided to go bed about 8 and when I left him to go into the other room he kept asking me to sleep in the room he was in.When I did he was groping me a little while we was chatting and when I started touching him.He offered a little but no more. While this is happeneing he kept on saying how he doesnt think im gay(he basically begged me to tell him I was bisexual instead of gay back in school) Things progressed a little, not much. I got annoyed and just left him to sleep.About 6 hours later he woke up and he acted like he didnt remember anything after we got into town.which I knew was bull because i caught his lie when he was talking about what he remembered. Also this sudden "amnesia" covers up to/passed the point that this happened when we was both pretty sober.This has left me confused/frustrated(maybe a little angry) mainly because I think it means something and I know that this happened and he is sat there denying it.. I just dont know what to do in this situation and thats why im here...Im guessing my question is, What should I do? I mean, I honestly love this guy and I really want to know if what happened meant anything? Alcohol makes people more liberal and increases what you feel right?Also, Should I let this drop completely? Or should I talk to him in a few days or a week or so? Ive left him alone today and will probably tommorrow depending on whats said.Thankyou for reading this and i'll be wondering what advice the DC community gives me :) xx
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male
reader, Biffo  +, writes (1 September 2012):
It sounds to me he's using the alcohol as an excuse to not remember. He might just want to experiment with another 'bi' guy, not necessarily a gay guy. Don't give him a hard time, questioning him. Just go with the flow. a) Ask him out for a drink, just the two of you,
b) have a great evening of drinking
c) crash out on the bed, see what he does (if anything)
d) play the same game "Wow, I drank so much I don't remember anything".
e) smile for the rest of the day
After a few times, he might be able to get from a to e, without b and d.
A
male
reader, crazybeast +, writes (6 July 2012):
crazybeast is verified as being by the original poster of the question I kinda have another problem... Im just getting flat out ignored by him now...
Im not sure if its because his friends are going on his stuff and deleting it(its happened before... we dont get along) or if whats happened has freaked him out.
Is there anything I can do? xx
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (1 July 2012):
 Drop it as a point of discussion.
If he tries it again when drunk don't play - let him know that you'll consider it when he's sober, considering he repudiated last time, once he was sober.
And if he tries it sober then ask him, 'is this what you want', and then if the answer is 'yes' let him lead the first time, completely, so he has to reveal his willingness.
Try to use your self control to allow him to feel and be in control.
Revealing his sexuality may be a very big and scary step for him.
Explain, if he asks, that you want him to confirm it is real to him, and his decision to proceed is his decision entirely.
This is so that you can be sure of his intentions and so that the trust can be built between the two of you.
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A
male
reader, crazybeast +, writes (1 July 2012):
crazybeast is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo clarify... I should just drop it completely? Just carry on and see if he does it again? When/If he does it again what should I do? Should I try and talk about it and stop him or just go with it and then talk?
Thankyou for the advice provided already xx
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 July 2012):
this guy sounds like he is a little insecure about his sexuality. He may be bi and he may still be scared about coming out. But he has the strong inkling that he is safe with you.
let it drop for the moment, he is not being very honest with you at all.
I think he is scared and not as 'along' as you in accepting who he and what his preferences are.
But stay friends with him.
Maybe in time he will become more comfortable.
let him initiate everything next time so that he cannot claim that you pushed him into a decision he was trying to resist.
There are many more very interesting attractive guys out there who will be honest with you.
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