A
female
age
51-59,
*ovely10
writes:In a relationship 5 months both of us are one year out of a marriage, both still going through a split of property etc...My problem is that we ask each other for advice and we give each other advice, but he doesnt use it and just keeps getting angry or upset by his ex, he then doesnt ring me or anwser my txts, this is usually only for a day and its not that I tell off because I dont.He left his wife after years of neglect by her, but still lets her annoy him, then im getting worried because I havent heard from him, then I get a sorry was angry at ex so didnt txt you back.How long does it take to txt goodnight honey, if he doesnt want me knowing about fighting with ex why does he tell me the next day? Why am I the one wondering whats going on when all ive been is supportive, this has happened about 8 eights now, and Ive talked about it with him and ive told him it upsets me.I'm getting sick of it... he didnt answer my two txts last night because "he was trying to talk with his ex but she wouldnt pick up the phone so he got angry and rang her about eight times" but he cant txt me goodnight? so I worry all night about him.. so today for the first time im not answering his txts and calls.. I know its playing a game but Im pissed of,
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): Thankyou for your answers, he gets angry but not agressive,{uproar was put in by editor} he doesnt yell or break things, he keeps it inside, lately hes been going though a rough patch and ive been a bit unfair, he did love her when he left her but didnt like her anymore, she got rid of the baby that was to be there third child with out him agreeing, he supported her but it broke his heart,it wasnt a question of money but life style, hes very kind and calm and yes hes not over it yet,I truly love him and know he loves me,but after reading your answers I relize im jealous and he needs to talk to a professional, and yes i agree hes not over it, it turns out she was ripping him off over property and he told her and she said she was going back to the lawyers and he knew she was home because he dropped the property agree in her letter box, she takes his power away, but house settles tomorrow so this should help, again thankyou
A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Yep, Abella nailed this one on the head. He is not over his ex; not even close.
If he's blowing off your texts because he's mad as his ex, or trying to call her to sort things out with her, that's the biggest red flag you could ask for.
I know it's a little immature, but I'd be doing the exact same thing you're doing now. A little way to get even, though it isn't really... is it?
If I were you, I'd tell him that until he gets over his ex, you're done. No one wants to play second fiddle to another woman, or listen to their bf rant and rave about their ex girlfriends. What he's doing is disrespectful, and you shouldn't put up with it any longer.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 I agree with Abella. They say that hate is love set on fire, and divorce is marriage set on fire. Either way, he's still keeping her in his life, and the fact that her reactions and actions are more important to him than yours are means that she is still his priority. Negative or positive, she's still number one.
I'd tell him that you two should take a break until the only thing he feels when it comes to her is icy indifference, no matter what. He's simply not there yet, and three's a crowd.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): This has "red flag" all over it! He's playing games with you; he neglects you, he tells you about his fights with his ex, then is angry that you know about the fights. Are you sure that his ex neglected him, or is that just his side of the story? He sounds as if he has some issues with expressing anger inappropriately. I know that going through property settlements, custody, etc. can make people crazy, but his behavior sounds excessive. He got angry because his ex didn't answer the phone, so his response was to call her over and over? True, she may have been playing games with him. But how does he know that she was even home? Or maybe she was exhausted and went to bed early. He sounds like trouble ... do you want to stick around until his aggression is directed at you?
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Your boyfriend is not yet over his ex. The fact that she can still make him so mad suggests there is still an emotional connection between him and her. Even is she has no connection with him any more.
Tell him to sort himself out. Perhaps with some counselling?
Then you will see him when he is over his ex.
While he is still getting mad at his ex he is tainting the relationship with you and not respecting you as his new partner. You should not have to put up with all unneccesary aggression on his part in the way he displays his feelings about his ex.
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