A
female
age
26-29,
*razylover
writes:I go to an all guy school.... There's only 2 other girls and I'm not Friends with anyone there... It's a school for bad behavior and learning dissabilitys... I have troubles around males... And bad trusting issues... My biological dad abused me and my step dad lost Rights to see me due to drugs.. I'm at this school to better help me with trust and better ways to cope with certain situations... And I really want to go to a public school and be able make friends. This summer I met the wrong people and I started getting into drugs and sex and drinking to fit in
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 January 2011):
 you have certainly been subjected to some horrible experiences.
The reason you are where you are is that you are still affected by those experiences from the past.
But this you must remember: you did not do anything to cause these bad things to happen to you as a child. Inside you is a good person who has trouble trusting people and trouble knowing what is really in your best interests, and what is not.
And i realise you want to be hugged and loved just for being you.
One of the wicked things about abuse of children is that is the very people, adults, closest to you, who you should be able to trust BETRAY your trust.
Yet not all adults are like that. Most people regard people who abuse children as criminals. And all decent people know the abused child is blameless and completely innocent of anything. Because it is the adult doing the abuse and encouraging it who must wear all the blame. Not you.
At this stage you are not sure who to trust.
That is healthy to be wary, after all you have gone through.
You may not even meet the people worthy of observing until you have finished school. But there are good people out there.
You are potentially one of the good people.
Except you will do much better in life if you stay away from drugs and alcohol and stay away from kids who want to take risks, these people are not your friends, and will lead you into danger.
To be one of the good people you do NOT need to do anything to impress the kids who are often in trouble and who take risks. Instead you need to turn away from those risky kids. They are no help to you at all.
And you do yourself no favors by allowing boys to be over familiar with you.
It is tough to expect you to do this alone. If you can find the book 'i'm OK, you're OK' you might get some understanding that you are just as good as anyone else. And they are just as good as you.
The best thing you could do for yourself now, is to really concentrate on your school work. Do well with that and you may get to go to a public school.
But once you get back to a public school keep a low profile. You do not have to explain yourself you gossipy other kids.
If you choose to mix with the risky crowd who cuss, smoke, drink and sex then you are not helping yourself heal. Avoid those people.
Instead re-invent yourself as a well behaved, dressing in a way that does not call attention to you, nice person. And remind yourself that there is nothing smart about getting into trouble with the Law.
Take things slowly and surely. Observe good people who do not cuss, do not get drunk and abusive, do not do drugs
Look at how these good people see, hear,
Walk, behave, speak, dress in public. Then emulate these good peopl
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): Excellent. Yes, you are in the right place I assure you. Im sorry for the negative experiences you have encountered as I am sure they are difficult. In the long run, these experiences will turn out to be positive for you cause as you get older you will mature and learn from your past and see how you can apply the things youve learned about whatever issues to your life also those around in an effort to help. Focus on yourslef right now. Forget about those around you and get your own priorities in order. This will help you achieve golas better and more effectively. Do not be scared to get a tutor or even a mentor. I have a 50 year old mentor and im 26! He provides much guidance for me and has been very beneficial to my life. Take it one step at a time here... and hone in on ur studies, show that you are putting lots of effort into school and reformation, and then you can go to a public school. Definitely make that a goal... as it is certainly achieveable. Best to you on this :)
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