A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys just a random question. Since I was 14 Iv worked in fast food to aupport myself and help out my family. I'm currently in uni and online o graduate with a first. But why is it that people think they can speak to you like crap just cos your serving them food? I can't count the number of times Iv been sworn at or told I'mStupid (which I'm not) and not just me, even the managers. People expect special treatment and favours and when you couldn't do it even if you wanted to, they think it's ok to be rude??? I could give countless examples! Im lucky as in a year I'll have graduated and moved on but seriously, I find it really hard sometimes to bite my tongue! How do people put up with it all their lives?? I mean there are members of the local community who live on benefits (by choice) yet still talk down to you because you work in fast food! Are any of you the kind of person who judges takeaway staff to be beneath you or stupid?. Do you leave your litter for them to clear away despite the fact that you walk past the bin on the way out?!. Would you expect them to stop what there doing to rin back behind the counter and pass you a salt sachet??.Are you the kind of guy who wouldn't give me the time of day if I was serving you chips?! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): I know exactly how you feel. I have worked in a fast food restaurant for a year and a half, and have had just about enough of the crap that we're put through.
It used to bother me when rude people came in demanding for their missing food or fresh chips or a refund etc, i used to get really upset with all the verbal abuse.
Now, i don't care one bit. I literally rub it in their faces that "we're aliens and can't make mistakes".
Seriously, don't let it get you down. When they walk away shout "have a nice day! enjoy your food! come back soon!" LOL, that will really make them tick XD ..
A
male
reader, ivanichiaynus +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Deplorable as it is, you are in England and I think it is the remnants of the class system. Ignorant people have this attitude to "servants", unlike the more egalitarian attitudes of New York that "female anon" described.You made me recall an occasion a few years ago in Turkey when I was sitting near a large group of loud and stupid northerners (for the non-UK readers, these are people from the uncharted, uncivilised parts of the UK north of The Wash) who were giving the superbly polite Turkish waiters a hard time with their ill-mannered and patronising behaviour.As one waiter walked away from their table, I caught his eye and raised my eyebrows in sympathy, and he put his hands togethewr as if in prayer and smiled beamingly back at me in gratitude.After the northerners had gone I had a quick word with the waiters, apologising for their unspeakable behaviour and assuring them that we (English) aren't all like that.They understood.Just so that I don't get flamed by any northern readers here, I'm sure(?) that all of you aren't like that.Ivan.
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888 +, writes (2 January 2011):
 The majority of people don't do this with malicious intent, however, psychologically, the position of power naturally evokes some people to feel oblidged to "enjoy" the authority they have over another individual, and it's all subconscious. What you have to realize, though it sucks bad, is that the average person doesn't have persons serving them on a regular basis, so when you're confronted with a person whose job it is to serve,its open season.How do you deal with it? With a cliche i'm afraid: rise above it.Much love to you though, and good luck with the uni thing:)
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 It is complete rude ignorance when people do this.
I do hope some clients treat you in a civil manner? It beggars belief that some very rude people think it is OK. It is not.
One of my techniques from the past (that worked well for me at the time) was to keep speaking civily with a smile on my face - BUT mentally i visualized these offending clients in a diaper, just a diaper. After all, if the client wanted to act like a 2 year old in a tantrum, then i felt able to visualise them as such. They lost their power to undermine me.
The very grand pompous ones used to irk me too. They are so comical (not in a nice way) to everyone but themselves. Their delusions of grandeur are a joke.
Hang in there.
Over the next 5 years you will be doing things you really love.
But as you rise up the ranks think about how you could introduce 'rotated managers needing to occasionally work at the coal face at entry level' When managers have to do a stint at entry level they get a much better understanding of what employees have to deal with.
Without that management start to lose touch with what it's really like.
Friend of mine was doing further studies in hotel management (she now manages a resort) but during the course vacation she took a placement in a top international hotel. As a room maid. She came away disgusted that people could speak to her like dirt and males even made her uncalled for 'offers'. It gave her great insight into how morons speak to those at the coal face.
Only inadequate people have to 'put down' other people.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): Well because alot of people have no manners. And many people are ignorant and don't know any better.
I used to be a waitress too. Luckily I worked in NYC and as surprising as this may sound, not only are new yorkers excellent tippers but generally amazing guests to host at a restaurant. One time a guy I was waiting on found a roach in his salad...he was initially apologizing to me upon pointing it out because he said he didn't want to come off like one of those unmannered obnoxious complainers that you are pointing out...I still cannot believe that story myself... That attitude is because no matter how rich or successful the average new yorker is, most new yorkers have walked in all sorts of different shoes in their lifetime. This is true. I don't know how many guests I waited on who told me they too had waited tables at some point in their life.
This is known as empathy. When other people can put themselves in your shoes probably because they have been exposed to alot of different situations in life and so can relate to people better. This exposure comes in many ways. Growing up in NYC makes it especially important to have good manners and be able to treat others kindly. Truth is you never know who may be who. You never know who you may be talking to, could be someone important to help you out in your career. If not today maybe tomorrow, or in the future.
Empathy is highly lacking in alot of parts of our society. My best advice to you, as a previous waitress myself and certainly not immune to the intricacies of dealing with the obnoxious people, just kill em with kindness. The more they complain, the more you should smile. I used to treat obnoxious people like little babies (cause that is how they acted). And don't feel intimidated, know deep down that it is not that they are better, it is actually the opposite, they have no manners. A person with manners would not be publicly rude to you. Ever.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 I know how you feel. When you serve people, expect to meet some of the lowliest the world has to offer sometimes. Keep striving for the best, you will be out of there soon enough. Keep smiling.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, TexInTheCity +, writes (2 January 2011):
Because some people need to make others feel bad so they can feel better about their pathetic boring lives! I know just how you feel. Don't let the b*st*rds grind you down! xx
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