A
female
age
30-35,
*eba
writes:I hate him. I hate his personality. I hate how he makes me feel.He just got through telling me how it's ok for him to randomly give me negative comments about my appearance, even though he knows i wont change how i look for anybody and all his comments do is hurt my self-esteem.When he gets mad he says mean things to hurt me, like throwing in my face the fact that I was molested.He contradicts everything I say, think, feel. I'm wrong about everything.His kisses and touch repulse me.I used to trust him, but i stopped because of his behavior. Ive broken up w him twice but i always break down and take him back.I don't know how to break up w him without hurting him and myself. I know I'll miss him, cause he's sweet sometimes, but he's a druggie and a dick w nothing going for him, which is probably why he puts me down.Idk how to make myself take the step to close him completely from my life. Tips? Ideas? Success stories?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): If you hatrd hin, you wouldnt be so worried about hurting him. Hates a strong word, dont forget it. Although.. I can see where your coming from/ my ex was the same. Only he used to beat me to the point i either ended up in hospital ir running away. We had talks, arguements, we tried solving it. But people like him dont change! Your young, youve got years to enjoy yourself and find somebody better! Just explain to the guy that you no longer feel like you did before and dont want to be in a relationship at the minute. Whatever you decide, good luck! Theres nothing worse than a negative partner!x
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Search this site for some answers to people in abusive relationships. Such nasty relationships are never worth it - they are too painful and unproductive.
Be clear in your mind that this time really mean it when you break with him. If you keep dropping him and taking him back he will never take you seriously.
Usually i would suggest face to face for a breakup.
Or at least a phone call.
But if he is abusive you may need to take other precautions. So the week you break up could you go and stay with friends? And turn your phone off.
And on the way to your friends send him a TEXT MESSAGE only that you are breaking up with him, effective immediately, then turn your phone off. For a whole week. You can use a land line if you have to use the phone. Stay off social networking sites. Block him on your email. Block him on
your phone.
He will be horrible in the first week, so stay out of his area and stay uncontactable by him.
If you feel he will be violent - then contact the Police - and consider getting a Restraining Order.
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Tell him what you just wrote. Minus the hate part. Just tell him you dont want to be with him anymore because the way he has treated you. How he makes you feel. You'll be fine ok without him. And no matter how much you loved him at some point, when he hurts you like he has, getting over him is easier then you think. Be strong and show him you arent all the things he says. You are and deserve better then him.
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