A
male
age
36-40,
*mootnezz
writes:I had a nice relationship with this girl but later we split up because she did a lot of things to hurt me including kissing another guy in front of me.After about a year of having moved out of town because of school, i came back and was hoping to see her again and possibly get her back. but i hosted a relationship program on radio on which i used what happened between us as a scenario. so she called during the phone-in section to give her opinion that if a girl shd behave like that then it means she doesn't love the guy. ( on the program i didn't state that it happened to me. i just said it was between some other couple. u know... some kinda fiction).well after i got this contribution from her i decided to let her be. later i found out that a friend of mine who knew abt us when i was with her, works with her on a certain project. so he told me alot of things he had found out abt this girl and the new guy she was going out with. in response, i told him i didn't care whatever she did wit her life bcos it didnt matter to me anymore.several times, he raised topics concerning this girl but i showed little interest. he even tried to convince me to give her call.later i saw several call records between he and her when i was going through his phone. we are friends so he didnt mind me going tru his fone. i smelled something fishy but i didnt giv it another thought.now i've just been informed by another friend of ours that he spoted the two of them in a night club last night. the 3 of us work together so i tot he wud hav told me how come he was at a club wit my ex, considering the fact that our other friend saw them and wld definitely tell me abt it.he still hasn't said anything to me abt it and i feel so betrayed. i need advice on how to handle this problem.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (11 December 2010):
 It is upsetting that a relationship that meant something to you did not mean as much to her, in the long run.
It hurts so much when a person we really like does not feel the same way.
And yes a pang of hurt can be felt in our heart when we see someone we care for with another.
But accept it we must. We do ourselves no favors by making a huge drama about someone who has rejected us. It is a painful lesson but millions of people all over the worls have to deal with this pain, with dignity, ever year.
This girl you like owes you nothing and she made it quite clear she is not interested in you. Plus she did things to upset you. Now she is going out with another guy. Your task is to accept that Because Right now she is not interested in you. And she is interested in another guy. Who that guy is not the issue. Even if he is someone you know. There is nothing you should do, except accept it like a man.
Be mature and smart. Get on with your life. Let go of this girl from your heart and your mind. Let her be. Don't be nasty to her. Don't be nasty to the guy.
Your only tasks are to get on with your life, go forth with confidence, hold your head up high, and find a more faithful caring girl who loves you with the same intensity as you love the new girl.
Good luck with your search for the new girl.
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