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*earCupid
writes:Hi everyoneThought I would introduce myself. My name is Andrew and I'm the guy who runs this site... Yes, it is just a one-man-band!I'm looking for ideas on what new features to add to the site and want YOUR input. I am thinking of the following three features. Which would you like to see first and please suggest new ones?1. Online journals/diaries where you can keep track of your dating/romance thoughts.2. Private user to user email via the site3. Discussion board where you can discuss relationships in a more free-flowing formThanks, and I hope you all enjoy the site! Look forward to your comments. What is right with the site and what is wrong with it?Andrew Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (31 January 2016):
 another Great Article that deserves to be seen from time to time to encourage comments.
Consultation is a great way to improve a site continuously.
A
female
reader, littlewoman +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Hellow Andrew, I don't see any thing wrong with your site, I like it I think it is great keep up the good work. Do you facebook? I love facebook and I am glad that I can link Dear Cupid with facebook. If you do then I invite you to be one of my facebook friends. I don't have any ideas yet, but when I do I will let you know. I think you are doing good with ideas.
littlewoman.
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reader, Abella +, writes (10 December 2010):
hi Andrew, Fascinating site. Thx for creating it. Read some really early replies to your really early requests. One stood out: the need to better explain the rating system. Some people rate very high for a while but then their rating number starts to drop dramatically and goes into free fall, even though their replies don't look very controversial. And they continue to answer questions. Which once again seem genuine sincere replies. Can there be more explanation of why this happens please?
Whereas some Aunts have not posted for a long time and yet their high rating never changes and appears unaffected.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2007): When you post an answer it is difficult to find it again, and when you search and click on the search results, the page that loads doesnt load what it said it would.Other tahn that its pretty good
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reader, AskRosie +, writes (27 March 2007):
 Hi I think that you should have a forum with different subjects in or u should have a members only area where you can create a profile and talk to your friends!!!
Rosiexxx
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reader, David Lewis +, writes (12 September 2006):
 I would like to see a chatroom feature and the ability to see which users are currently online. Also the use of html would be handy for posting actual links.
Another feature I would like, would be the ability to see where each rating come from, ie, which answers were rated excellent, poor, etc.
Great site BTW, it has helped me a great deal.
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (17 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the question Sexybum: v.v.v. helpful thanks for compiling, this will be added to a new look "resources" page shortly :-)
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reader, Sexybum +, writes (17 March 2006):
 Hiya Andrew
Sexybum here with a long list of helplines applicable to the uk. Have tried to cover all aspects that appear to prop up on dearcupid and all ages, hope it is useful.....
1) CHILDLINE 0800 1111 or www.childline.org.uk , free help for children and young people talk about any problem, counsellors always avaliable to help you sort it out.
2) NSPCC 0808 800 5000 National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, UKs leading charity specialising in child protection and prevention of cruelty to children.
3) VICTIM SUPPORT 0845 30 30 900 (England) (01) 878 0870 (Republic of Ireland) 0131 668 4486 (Scotland) or www.victimsupport.org , Independant charity which helps people cope with affects of crime, free and confidential support and information.
4) NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELPLINE 0808 2000 247 or www.crimereduction.gov.uk/domesticviolence40.htm , 24hr provides access to 24hr emergency refuge accomodation as well as information service, safety planning and translation facilities.
5) FRANK 0800 77 66 00 , also for deaf of hardhearing 0800 917 8765 or www.talktofrank.com , drugs information and advice 24hrs and free, avaliable in 120 languages, calls from lanlines do not show up on phone bills!
6) CRUSE BEREAVEMENT CARE day by day helpline 0870 167 1677, young persons helpline 0808 808 1677 (free) or email [email address blocked] , Organisation provides counselling and support info and advice, education, training all in relation to death or traumatic experiences.
7) CHILD DEATH HELPLINE 0800 282 986 or www.childdeathhelpline.co.uk , Phone line avaliable every evening 7.00pm to 10.00pm , mon-fri morning 10.00am to 1.00pm and wed afternoon 1.00pm to 4.00pm , Professional and bereaved parents to listen and offer emotional support, genuienly recognises powerful emotions you experience. NOT A COUNSELLING SERVICE.
8) BROOK helpline uder 25s 0800 0185 023 mon-fri 9am to 5pm , info on key sexual health issues at any time 0207950770 24hrs or www.brook.org.uk , Sexual health advice.
9) FAMILY PLANNING ASSOCIATION (FPA) www.fpa.org.uk , low cost national helpline 0845 310 1334 mon-fri 9am to 6pm . UKs leading sexual helth charity offerring the widest range of advice from emergency contreception to abortion , relationships, disease , expert info and facts.
10) CARE CONFIDENTIAL 0800 028 2228 or wwww.careconfidential.com , Free confidential advice for unplanned pregnancy or dealing with post abortion concerns.
11) CONNEXIONS aged 13 -19 and in England 0808 001 3219 or www.connexions-direct.com , offers info and advice to young person on every single aspect of life; careers, learning, health, housing, free-time, work, money, relationships, your rights, travel .
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2006): Hi Andrew, I have been an agony aunt on Dear Cupid for a while now, and I have also written in some problems. I'd just like to say thank you, this site has been a Godsend to me, because the other agony aunts on it are great when they answered my questions.
I think that to improve this site, you should add a section where people can have access to helplines, some of the other agony aunts have listed some helplines on their answers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2006): Hey Andrew,
Just as a matter of interest what do you think if the agony aunts and the people writing in would say which part of the world they're from, I'm sure this website has reached all over the world, but it would be pretty special to see where the people that give you such great advice come from, as well as the people forwarding their questions, it makes the feeling perhaps more real, and magical to know that someone from the opposite side of the earth cares, and wants to help you with whatever your situation may be.
Thank You.
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (10 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhappytochat, great list thank you
I will definitely add them to a resources page.
Can anyone come up with a similar list for UK / USA ?
Andrew
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reader, happytochat  +, writes (10 March 2006):
I'm from Australia (hehe) and here are some pretty big support services we have here (although most of them you can visit online and find advice, even if you aren't in australia, the onles ones that are australia only are the ones with phone numbers):
Kids Help Line (its for people ages 5-18)- Free Call to talk to a counsellor- 1800 55 1800
or visit there website to chat to a counsellor in a chat room at- www.kidshelponline.com.au/
Lifeline- Free call (any age) 13 11 14 to talk to a counsellor for free. Or visit- http://www.lifeline.org.au/
When Love Hurts-
http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/
Violence Against Woman, Australia Says No-
http://www.australiasaysno.gov.au/
Relate- Info on relationships, family, love, life...-
http://www.relate.gov.au/
Suicide and depression related links:
Beyond Blue-
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/
DepressionNet-
http://www.depressionet.com.au/
Out of the blues-
http://www.gu.edu.au/ua/aa/ss/outoftheblues/main.html
Reach out-
http://www.reachout.com.au/
I hope that helps and you can add them. Sorry if some of them are non related so you can't add them or something. I wasn't quite sure.
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reader, Sexybum +, writes (10 March 2006):
Hiya Andrew,
From reading the suggestions that Mrs M, Mags, posted about agony aunts directing people to services that may not be in their country, NHS, Brook Clinic etc.etc. I would just like to say I've done this a few times as its been obvious the person posting the question needs proffesional help.
I agree with her that this advice will be useless if the services are not avaliable in their country. After some thought about this I had some ideas on how these situations can be avoided:
When you post a question you are given tips on how to write your question to ensure it is posted (Don't write in capitals, don't use peoples name... etc) Maybe you could add another suggestion asking the people to say what country they are from. (I am from England, I am from America...)
Once the agony aunts know what country the person is from it will help them answer the question more effectively and avoid giving 'useless' advice.
It could also be a good idea to have a reference page on the site, with details of the main support clinics or establishments for each country. I know you said you are not qualified to do this, but what if users of the site gave their knowledge to you, Like I could say for the UK, we have childline, NHS, Brook clinic and the list goes on... You could take the info that a user gives you about their country and create a reference page, which agony aunts could use to answer the questions better
What do you think?
Sexybum x
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reader, willywombat +, writes (10 March 2006):
 All the other user's have come up with some pretty good answers and I am with them.
The one I like best is some sort of chat room type thingie, sometimes, as you can see, there is just stuff people have to say that they just can't on somebody elses thread without *spamming* it.
Great site mate, keep up the good work....
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (10 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust a quick heads-up guys. I'm going to leave this topic "stickied" for another couple of days so if you have any further feedback / ideas / complaints please post now!
Some great stuff received so far, thanks all.
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (10 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMs. M / Mags - good point and well made. Also, appreciate the "no-charge" ;-)
I will bear this in mind when designing the "resources" section. I am, unfortunately, unqualified to seek out the best resources so will be relying on readers to help out and make suggestions. Any initial suggestions either post in this thread or email me (instructions in posts below).
We have readers from all over the world but predominantly USA, UK, Canada and a good number from Australia, New Zealand and South Africa.
Sorry if I missed anyone out.
Thanks again
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reader, mags +, writes (10 March 2006):
Hi AndrewI think all of your 3 suggestions are fab, and while I have the opportunty, a new sugestion is to point out that some of the replies posted reccommend using services which are only applicable to UK residents, one post I read tonight mentioned going to a 'Brook clinic' and contacting the 'NHS Services' both of which are UK based services. I realise this can be important info for anyone seeking help via your website, but it is plain to see that some the the posts are to people who will never be able to reach these services because they are from the States or other! There should be some kind of warning that not all users of this site are from the same country! A mention of Brook Clinic is useless if you are from anywhere inside of the UK and to be frank their services are directed at the under 25s year olds anyway!An 'agony aunt' may have a good rating as a responder but the content may not be universal. I hope you will incorperate this into your decision making about whose posts are valid and whose are not. Or perhaps provide a important telephone number link to organisations that can help you. Whose services are valid, whatever the country may be. Why have you not a comprehensive links page anyway? Local services/helplines etc, Great idea? I wont charge you for the idea!!! I wouldnt mind a reply on this. I would appreciate your feedback...as i am a member im sure you can gain access to my email address...Many ThanksMs . M
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (10 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi female anon
Yes there are some topics that we do not approve. If you use a login you can see which questions have been disapproved - and if you want me to look into it feel free to email me your username at andrewXatXdearcupid.org (remove X's, replace at with @) and I will look into it and get back to you.
Again, if you are registered you can post followups to your question (even if you posted anonymously) and these will be drawn to the attention of any aunts that answered your question (via the "your followups" link on their account bar at the top of the screen). This allows you to carry on a conversation via the site and provide updates etc.
One on one advice is something I am considering for the future.
Thanks again for the feedback!
Andrew
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): Hey there.Just wanted to compliment you on the amazing site, and i'd like to propose a section where one could have a one on one conversation with an agony aunt that has taken interest on your particular topic, where the person asking the question can go back and chat about the way that things are going with their problem if there is need for that support.One other thing I'd like to ask, are there certain topics that can not be discussed on the site, if a question is of an emotional state or situation are there limitations of the topics discussed, causing it to not get posted? I've had situations where I post something, and it doesn't get through, so i'd just like to know.thank you
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (9 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi LadyBaby
Ratings tend to get more accurate the more answers people provide. From the feedback I've received I see how important ratings are to people and am committed to providing everyone with more info on the ratings and encouraging people to rate, particularly those who are registered or who asked the question.
Thanks for the feedback!
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reader, ladybaby +, writes (9 March 2006):
Looking at my "score" chart, I am sometimes mystified how this fluctuates dramatically. When "advice" is given and then marked, it would be handy for us to have the feedback from the mark.
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (9 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHappyToChat, great idea, if you have any ideas for websites that I should link to please add to this thread!
Thanks
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reader, happytochat +, writes (9 March 2006):
I just thought of an idea, I think there should be a 'support page' which is where you list other support places that people can go for help. Like I know people come HERE for help, but sometimes people need more then just every day help, they might need professional help. ANd lets face it, no 1 is perfect, so going for extra support is a god idea I think. So you could list sites that deal with depression, abuse, relationship issues- all that type of thing. And perhaps other support centres across the world.
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (8 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMystify - yes the ranking system definitely needs more explanation and I will do this when I combine it with the introduction of two new rating scores, by reg users and by the question asker.
You also bring up an interesting point that user ratings could be skewed by one bad/controversial answer which is something for me to think about.
Thanks again!
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (8 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBeentheredonethat - thanks for your thoughtful views. I tend to agree on user-to-user email there is a lot of potential for harm so I am only going to proceed with that if I can figure out how to mitigate it.
The discussion board so far seems favoured. Whatever is launched will be for a trial period anyway, the focus for the site will always be on the core competancy which is:
- user posts question
- user gets great answers
Regarding search, there is a search page:
www.dearcupid.org/search
It gets very little interest compared to the rest of the site so it's not high on my list of current priorities. Having a "similar questions" link or suggested other questions is something I've looked into but it's on the back-burner at the moment, to do it well, which is the only way of doing it, would be quite a chellenge.
Thanks again, A.
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reader, mystify +, writes (8 March 2006):
 hi ,
i really like what your idea about fav aunts! :0).
but what i meant was that i was really proud to be a high rated aunt , and i made the mistake of taking on a subject dealing with paedophilia, and staturary rape, and afterwards i felt like i shouldnt comment on the subject because it might knock my "score" down, i soon realised i was being silly and that it was the advice not the score that mattered , so i continued to give advice from the heart, and to help these youngsters from getting into serious trouble.
i guess i just dont see that it helps people, but if you are keeping with the system , maybe you could post a page on how the score breaks down so you can see how many positives you are recieving :0)
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (8 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMystify - thanks for your feedback.
On the subject of keeping track with what your favourite aunts are writing, at some point in the near future you will have the ability to add an aunt to your favourites. Under your account you will then have a page which lists all the new answers from your favourite aunts.
I take on board your comments about negative ratings, but in reality people want to see a "score" that can be compared against others by just having a total or something it becomes meaningless.
The side-effect of this, that low rated aunts give up, is something that I actually believe is beneficial for the site.
We only list the top aunts and don't currently show people any scores less than seven... So trust me it is not as discouraging as it could be!
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reader, mystify +, writes (8 March 2006):
hi , i would say get rid of the negative and average score ratings, it is such a negative thing that i dont think it flows with the nature of the site. i mean its a positive site with the ability to offer great help in peoples difficult times,people who write are offering thier support and guidance to people generally in a good natured way, i dont think that that is really something that should be critisised so freely.
although im all for the positive rating , for me that would make more sense , also because i find it a bit hard to translate what the current ratings mean , if people could only rate people when they thought aunts advice was good ,then you can clearly see when you are offering good advice and also then people would still be able to see who was giving the good advice because they would have a higher score, and you could still have top rated agony aunts.
this would also stop people lowering another persons score personnally.
something i noticed when i took on the sensitive subject of dating minors , i had not long been posting and just earnt a heart and was in the top rankings when an aunt openly didnt like one of my answers and within 1/2 a day of posting i was a very low rated aunt. i remember actually feeling completely deflated and felt like not bothering to answer any more posts, it would be a shame if others had stopped posting because of this as they might have the right thing to say to the right person at some point
i do like the scoring system but really what we are all trying to do is help others, and i think the negative scoring defeats that objective a little. and a positive only ratings system would be more like voting for someones answers.
also i would love it if aunt were listed in alphabetical order instead of the number of postings they have made as sometimes i find an aunt who writes something i connect with and unless they are one of the top ones its really difficult to find them to keep up with anything they write.
really good site by the way, its helped me alot if not by posting questions , just by talking to people who feel the same as me, so maybe topical disscussion boards would be useful if monitered well :0)
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reader, Sweetie Pie +, writes (8 March 2006):
 Hi Andrew.I just wanted to tell you YOUR SITE IS FREAKIN AWSEOME!!!!I love you so so so much for making this site!!!It has helped me out so much.And for the idea thing i think #3 is great you should definetley do that idea.And i have a question when are you going to add your ideas to the site because i can't wait!!! I LOVE YOU and THANKS FOR THE SITE!!!! Sweetie Pie
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reader, eddie  +, writes (8 March 2006):
 I like the private email as well as the discussion board idea. The only thing about the open discussion boardsis they usually get taken over by people talking about non sense in code language.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): I agree with basically everyone - a discussion board would be amazing thanx for the sitexxx
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reader, ask phoebe +, writes (8 March 2006):
 hi i just wanted to say thanks for the site its really good and gives people a chance to help other people with their problems. I think a discussion board and user to user email would both be really good to add to the site!Keep up the good work!!
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reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (8 March 2006):
 Dear Andrew, What a Hoot...the boss agony aunt is a guy...whooo hooo...big grin.
I like the idea of a discussion board #3 the best.
I fear the email might create more trouble than it's worth..if someone really blasts someones actions it would open a door that is currently a safe zone. (people can really post exactly what they think without ending up with a mailbox full of porn sites and condo offers.) This is what's going around in my head. The morning after telling someone their boyfriend is a jerk for making her walk 14 miles in a snow storm...she makes up with him. Now We are the enemy for being critical of her perfect relationship...Bam...with email she has the ability to annoy the heck out of every person who responded..and you can kick her off and then she uses her friends computers etc) You get the point.
Online journals can be done with one of those blog things.
However...someone came up with the idea of a subject search. I think that would be fantastic...because alot of great advice has been given that is just sort of moldering in the basement and could still be valid and useful if it did not mean spending hours looking for that One question you sort of remember. Also we could refer to specific questions from the past and give the asker even more help in that they would know they were far from alone.
With a discussion board...(not exactly the same as a live chat) if you wanted to ask a specific aunt something or to clarify a point...you could address it to { :this is for Smeedle or willywombat to answer please, but everyone is welcome!} Because I agree that haveing a swamped mail box would put some people off...the way things work now, you don't have to answer unless you feel you have something to say. And several times, after reading what the others write..the answers are soo perfect that no more needs to be said. I just wonder if Email would not be something of a burden whereas a discussion board would flow when you have time for it.
Thanks for the site and thanks for asking our opinion.
Mandy...beentheredonethatgotthepicturesandscarstoproveit!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): Andrew, thank you for this site. it has helped me get some great answers to some personal issues that I would never have asked for help with. I think you should have a search engine related to subjects for a specific question, so you can easly find simular questions asked and there answers. I find myself looking through questions to find something close to my issue. instead of looking through each months questions maybe it you could link them. thank you so much!!!
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reader, Sexybum +, writes (8 March 2006):
Hiya Andrew
I'm enjoying your site so much I can't help but to come on everyday. Its such a good idea and its also really therapeutic. You find yourself taking your own advice and realising things you never realised before. I think you are responsible for improving a LOT of lives! I just can't beleive no one thought of it before! There is such a wide audience on this site and without even knowing them I've grown fond of the agony aunts.
If you get a chat room up I won't get any work done! hehehe. Its a good idea though because some times the questions asked can be quite bland, or when you answer someones questions they elaborate on the situation and your answer changes. A chat room would give people the chance elaborateduring free-flow conversation.
I like the idea of having a journal, very helpful for those agony aunts who have their own pressures from relationships and don't want to keep posting questions. Would this journal be for everyone to see or personal?
I'm not to sure about the personal email thing because like you said it could result with the top aunt being swamped and feeling under pressure to help everyone.....
I think your idea about letting you see how the question asker rated your reply is brilliant, helps you know if you're on the right track or not......I think it would be a good idea to create a 'feedback' section in 'your column' if someone rates your answer as poor it could be useful to know why so you know where you've gone wrong...........
Thankyou for the site Andrew
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): The discussion board would definitely be nice.
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reader, happytochat +, writes (8 March 2006):
haha oh wow i came in at number 8.86, woo hoo lol. I think it would be a good idea to have a chat room, so people can have more in depth converstaions, really listen to the person with the probelm so they can give better advice. And that way if someone was to post a problem, and someone replies and the person who posted the message would like to keep on talking with that person, they can...through chat(does that make sense?).I think it would be quite effective.
I like the idea of private email too, so you can contact a specific person if you think they give good advice. Thats a great idea!
Also I liked the online journal idea.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): I think it would be a good idea to be able to search by female/male questions. That way we can compare what man ask and what women ask. My point is to be able to maybe for women to understand men, and vise versa..thank you
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (8 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo StarNews - the site has been live since Nov 2004, if you scroll all the way to the bottom of the home page you can see the number of questions by month since it was launched!
About me.. ? I've always been interested in agony aunt columns, it was always the first page I turned to in "The Sun" (UK tabloid newspaper).
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (8 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Guys
The talk about ratings got me thinking. Introduced shortly on your column page will be the rating the you got from the original question asker... Which is probably THE most important rating. Following are the top 20 based on this info - figure after name is the number of ratings by question askers. This will go live shortly.
10.00 Baby Girl 11
10.00 purrfectionist84 10
10.00 Tinkz 8
10.00 Suorpio 5
10.00 Joe 4
9.37 Irish49 41
9.65 Dazzerg 33
9.04 mommyofthree 23
9.12 shania 17
9.69 kellyO 16
9.53 Mr.Ed 15
9.69 Bev Conolly 15
9.25 StarNews 11
9.25 Rebecca Batchelor 10
9.29 xxxsoulsistaxxx 7
9.17 Sexybum 6
9.00 MilanaNYC21 5
8.53 smeedle 33
8.56 willywombat 21
8.86 happytochat 19
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reader, StarNews +, writes (8 March 2006):
 Hello Andrew,
There are many things I enjoy about your site, which is my favorite, by the way. I was curious about how long you have had this site, and to know a little more about you.
I like the fact that I can kept track of how many questions I have answered, my ranking, and the most recent feature is the agony aunts writing a little about themselves.
I like the idea of a discussion board. I dont have any suggestions at this time, but wanted to add my comments. Keep up the good work!
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reader, Hopeful +, writes (8 March 2006):
 Agony Aunt/Uncle profiles would be great - nothing too much just age, country etc.
Discussion board will also be ace!
You run an amazing site BTW!!!!
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female
reader, lisa_01 +, writes (8 March 2006):
 i think all of the ideas that you have listed would be great, i think the discussion board would be really good. i dunno if this is a good idea but i have noticed wiht some the aunts they have typed up a paragraph about themselves there age and where there from that kinda thing, i though maybe you could put together more of a profile kinda layout so people can put there age, where there from, there goals, why they come to dearcupid.org etc. great site, has helped me out heaps, keep it up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): Hi Andrw, I have to say you run an excellent site and it has helped me a lot. I would love a discussion board just a s long as it's well moderated so that jerks don't comment with wise-ass cracks..sometimes that happenes here and it's just discouraging and rude. I love the idea of private user to user email and maybe have a point somehwere where you can rate the expert and see your vote come up, or have some sort of poll displaying how much that person' answer helped you. Keep up the good work Andrew!
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reader, wishes +, writes (8 March 2006):
 I love the idea of a discussion board! Free flow of information would be a lot more useful. More like a conversation then. Thanks Andrew! ;o)
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): Hello, you dont know how much you have helped me! I would love to have user to user private email.
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reader, DearCupid +, writes (8 March 2006):
DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi DreamMaster,
Thanks for the feedback. User to user email will require quite some thought in terms of permissions because otherwise I can see people spamming the top agony aunts hoping for a reply and those people will get overloaded... Plus the aim of the site is to gather and share in public rather than private.
The ratings system takes a mashup of non-registered and registered ratings... It has a fairly sophisticated filtering system built in which strips out all non-valid responses and stops the results being gamed.
This is constantly being tweaked, but at the moment I believe it's in pretty good shape - I am able to compare filtered to non-filtered lists and it is obvious who is trying to game results / bring down others / boost themselves and those are absent from the "cleansed" result set. If you have specific aunts you believe are being "skewed" you can email me as andrewXatXdearcupid.org (remove X's, use @ instead of at) and I will try to look into it.
Regarding best rated answer. This is on my radar-screen but currently most single answers get too few ratings to make reliable results for a top-10, and the less answers the easier to game. This is not such a problem for aunt rating because each aunt will writing multiple answers, and our list of top agony aunts requires a certain number of "cleansed" ratings before aunts are listed. Over time as more people rate this will improve, and a future update to the site will improve the ease of rating.
Hope this helps!
Keep the feedback coming.
Andrew
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): I think the discussion board would be a great idea...Thankyou for this site it is so helpful!!
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reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (8 March 2006):
 Hi Andrew
I would like to see better use of the ratings. Its looks as if some people are just clicking 'poor' answers to improve their own rankings (maybe only use members for rating, and they can only rate a response once). Also it would be good if there was some kind of 'Top 10' rated responses every month (again with some way to avoid people abusing it) as they would be interesting to read.
User to user e-mail sounds good - then you can ask specific agony aunts for advice instead of hoping they see it amongst the several ones that day
I like the idea of a discussion board too - it means the asker can add extra information, answer questions, for the free flowing reasons you mention
Well done on the site, it seems to be growing quite well
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reader, Angelicc +, writes (8 March 2006):
 Hey Andrew,
i just wanted to say thanks for the site as it's helped me alot.
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reader, Leah +, writes (8 March 2006):
 i think that you should have user to user email chat!
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