A
female
age
26-29,
*oBabyYes21
writes:ok so about a week ago my bf and i decided to break up. lately ive been just being nice to him. before we started going out we were pretty good friends. but today i tried to be friendly to him and it totally blew up in my face. i tried to get us to hang out (him, me, and our friend) on my deck, or just hang out like we always used to do, but when i went inside my house to get something they ran off and ditched me. plus before my ex came over, i called him to invite him and be nice. he didnt answer and right after he texted our friend and said "dude! brittany just called me!" i was just like wooow. and the past few days have been weird because my friends say he likes me because he looks at me then looks away and smiles. like his morning for example. i was sitting on the bus in a seat by myself. he looks at me, looks away and smiles. what the heck?? whats his problem? i mean before when we were dating he would tell me all this crap about he loved me and said i was so amazing and beautiful and that i was everything to him. he wrote a poem for me, sang a song to me, constantly held me or was in physical contact with me. and the first time we kissed,he said he felt "something" i talked to my best guy friend about it and told how i sorta was dating this guy my ex didnt like just because the guy liked me while i was dating my bf. so my friend thought my ex was acting like a jerk because he isnt happy with me being with another guy.
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female
reader, NoBabyYes21 +, writes (11 December 2010):
NoBabyYes21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question we broke up because we didnt have time for each other as much as we did before. when we hung out we were very close. he would hold me, let me sit on his lap and for literally three hours we just laid in my driveway under the sun and talked. about life, everything. and we held each other and he looked in my eyes and his eyes did that dilate thing and he said "i am so hooked in you its not even funny." so yeah. then when we were still together and we tried to hang out it just wouldnt work. we never had time for each other and since i dont have texting and we both dislike calling, we have called each other before and we talked for hours and hours. but our relationship was based from us hanging out face to face. so when that stopped, so did our relationship.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 December 2010):
 You don't say why you broke up and who initiated the break up ( no break up is ever really 50/50 mutual ) so the situation is unclear.
Yet , I would not overthink it. Guys at his age are notoriously fickle, their attention span in love matters is that of a hamster, he could have honestly meant that he loved you IN THAT MOMENT and have changed his mind later. ..And maybe changing it again tomorrow ,lol.
It does not sound to me as he has be acting nasty toward you- it's a good thing that you all can still hang out together as good friends, don't ruin everything by overanalyzing every little detail.
Don't make any particular effort to be nice to him, - just
be yourself and go with the flow. I get the feeling that you would not mind having him back perhaps ? , but also in this case don't push and prod and maneuvre, if you just broke up there must have been a reason !
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (11 December 2010):
 You sound more more mature and much nicer than this guy. Running off and being silly was not very nice to you, especially after you invited him over.
It is a hard horrible lesson, but boys must always be judged on their actions, not their words. If a boy says lots of wonderful words, and also matches those words with actions that fully demonstrate that he respects the girl, cares about the girl, and truly wants to be with the girl - then you have the start of a relationship. For some guys they will say anything at all to relax the girl enough to make her think he really really cares about her.
Boys usually become nicer as they become men and they understand that disrespecting and lying to a girl is not what real men do.
But guys often have little to offer girls around the ages 13+ , except empty words they utter insincerely to get the girls 13+ interested.
My hope for you is that eventually you enjoy the mutual happiness of a relationship where both you and the guy mutually respect, love and adore each other, when the time is right.
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