A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:please i need your opinions , every single one possible ,i just do not get what my girlfriend means when she tells me she always had feelings for her best male friend ?.. i know that they kissed and done stuff together but i dont know what to think anymore, she tells me im the one she loves and im the one she wants but the thing is as soon as we break up or have an argument , they meet and basically they kiss or something and thats f____n pissin me off coz shes always under the excuse of I WASNT WITH U AT THAT TIME AND ITS JUST HAPPENED !and then she says shes sorry , i know she would never cheat on me but just this best friend thing is really minglin my mindwhat do u guys think about this honestly ?i know i love her but there are limits u know , i cant accept to get hurt like this , the f____d up thing is i know that she loves me but i just dont get the whole idea of this!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (12 December 2010):
Real partners that are serious about each other and making it work will not keep breaking up or going on breaks. If there is an argument, that doesn't mean that the 2 of you are temporarily over. Make it clear to her that this is inappropriate behaviour. Especially if this is a pattern and if she is the one initiating the break ups. Because at that point, it seems as though she is wanting to go on break so then she can feel free to kiss other guys. Anyway, you need to have a serious talk to her about where this relationship is going. And if you decide it is going somewhere, then the break ups have to stop. Need to find a more constructive way to deal with disagreements.
A
male
reader, Dirk Pitt  +, writes (12 December 2010):
I may be wrong, but it sounds like you're the 'sensible, pillar of strength' type, and the the guy she runs to holds some excitment for her but that she doesn't want a serious relationship with.
But whatever is going on in this girls mind, she can't keep running from you into his arms and then back again with some lame excuse... She can't have her cake and eat it, that is unless you let her. I'd probably tell her the next time she goes, pack her bags.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (12 December 2010):
 your girlfriend is playing you both. When you are on a break she runs to him and then back to you when she feels like it. I would let them get on with it. Find someone exclusive to you only.
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A
female
reader, Sophia.t +, writes (12 December 2010):
there can be possibly many reasons for this:
1.she could be a player kind of a girl.
2.whenever she has an argument with you she trys to find comfort with people she is close to in this case her male friend.
3.she could be one of the people who just want an escape from something or someone or a situation and thats the reason she screws around to make herself feel better.
i might be wrong but honestly from what you say, i feel this way.
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 tell her to choose now. She is either with you or not. If you want to give her one more chance then do so. But you need to say what you mean, and mean what you say. She is mucking you around and it cannot continue. It's too upsetting.
Tell her if she chooses him you will respect her decision, but she can't come back to you ever again. Tell her if she chooses you, but then subsequently breaks up with you again and goes back to him, then it is over for you. And you will not accept her back. I do not think she understands what is the meaning of commitment and faithfulness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): you deserve better than a girl who does this to you. Yes your on a break but because of the circumstances eg her really fancying him she should hold back. You can do better than someone who is going to continue to hurt you
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A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Uhm if she loved you why would she kiss him in the first place. and why is breaking up what u do when you break up. IF she is breaking up with you then its because she wants to kiss him without cheating. its pretty screwed up. And you dont know that she wouldnt cheat. im sorry.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Are you two operating like it's a "break" any time there is a disagreement? That is not a relationship. You are not demanding fidelity from her.
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A
male
reader, Tizzie0612 +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Then you need tell her she needs to make a choice. its obvious she has feelings for this friend.It seems like she wants both of you and both of you play a certain role in her life but she needs to pick 1!Talk to her about it and let her know how u feel. Then lay it down..its either you or him because it hurts you to know they when you guys fight or break up she is with another man while you are alone suffering thinking about her
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