A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have known this girl for almost my entire life and we are the best of friends. She is the type of girl that flaunts around and has had many boyfriends before.well recently i thought that maybe i could try to be with her and she said yes. so we started going out than like two weeks later i found out that she was seeing another guy. I told my self:"Well it was nice while it lasted" the next day i told her that i knew but i wasn't that bumed out cause i think i sorta knew it was coming and stuff.anyway she stopped talking to me for a while i tried to tell her that i didn't mind and that we still could be friends but she didn't answer my calls or rply to my mssgsit went on for a month than one day she came to my house crying saying that the other guy dumped her and yeah we started talking again and then we strted dating again, and like the last time a week after we started, she was with another guy!this time i went over to her house to tell her that it was okay and we still could be friends, suddenly she strtd crying on my shoulder telling me that she was prgnant...well i was stunned for the first few seconds but after that i knew that had to protect her from these types of guys so i told her that we will be together forever (i know corny line) and she will not need to worry about me leaving her. she began crying even more, telling me that i was too good for her and that she was a no good tramp, a slut.... i held her for the duration of that long line of self insults to herself and i even teared up during some of them. so for a long time after she was done i held her in my arms sitting upright on her bed. i kissed her and told her i loved her she tried to complain about my statement but i went in for another kiss and.....well....anyway i got back home and strted writing thismy question is: I feel strongly about her but i also think that i may be making a bad decision (it's a very small thought) but am i? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Glassheart  +, writes (9 December 2010):
The logical choice? walk away and don't look back. This is because she may as, CindyCares says, run away again and get another child. But you can only do this if u can forget about her... and besides, it's not yours but seeing as you didn't finish the sentence "she tried to complain about my statement but i went in for another kiss and.....well...." the next one may be yours and then walking away from her would seem like a very bad idea
The moral choice? Stay with her because she probably had real bad experiences with men which causes her not to get romantically close to them and by staying with her she might actually change for you and your relationship will skyrocket... but right now it's looking to be a 60% leave her to a 40% stay with her
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (9 December 2010):
 She has not said she loves you. And she displays very low self esteem that she would bad mouth herself so horribly. But at the moment she needs someone. And you are the most reliable person she knows. She has not said the child is yours. And after this crisis is over she may go back to her usual modus operandi. The reason being that her low self esteem makes her vulnerable to attention from others. It makes her feel special (temporarily) even if the attention is exploitation by a predatory male intent on a fleeting sexual relationship. So there is no guarantee that she will not break your heart some time in the future. You will have to weigh up whether you should be taking responsibility for her troubles, considering that she may often be unwilling to take responsibilty herself? And do you want to be left holding a baby, who may not even be a baby you fathered? I think it is an unfair ask. Do you?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 The short answer is : yes, it's a bad decision.
The long answer is : only you know what you can handle and what you cannot. You are looking forward to maybe a lifetime of her running around with other guys and having sex with them and perhaps getting pregnant again... then coming back to you when she needs something to fall back upon. Are you sure that this scenario does not bother you at all ?
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A
male
reader, romance_boy18  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 personally i would just stay friends. some friendships can evolve into a lasting relationship and some are better just staying friends. you gave her the chance to be with a nice caring guy like yourself and if she really cared so much that she believed you were too good for her then she shouldve came clean with the truth about cheating on you.
also if she did it once, there maybe a chance she may do it again.
i would support her as a friend at the moment and she how it plays out. hope this helps
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