A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I'm a 15 year old girl and recently I have been concearning myself about the deppressing thoughts I have been having. I keep thinking about death and how there's nothing I can do to prevent it from happening to me or my family, I'm scared because I don't know when or how it is going to happen, I think about it daily and it makes me feel very down and upset. My parents and my sister will all leave me one day and I can't bear to think when it will happen, I don't want to be alone in this world, there everything to me, the reason I live I fear for them and I will only live once and I want to make sure my life was worth living - I'm crying as I write to you all, life is so cruel, it tricks you into thinking you have everything but it can take it all away from you in seconds. I don't know what to do I get seriously down and upset about this topic, it's not as if it's a silly situation,I can't bare to write that I will die one day and my family will be gone forever and no matter what I do I will never be able to see them again, help me please, am I mental or do I need some seriose help. I have to stop having these thoughts, I even get upset about my dog, I know he will go before me and I don't think I could handle that. I'm lucky to have a chance at life but I'm scared I will have to suffer through others deaths then my own near the end of it. School makes me miserable I can't understand the people my age and it makes me self concious and depressed but I don't want to put pressure on my parents by telling them I'm unhappy. Please help me anybody, I feel so depressed and pathetic but I can't think of anything else. Should I see a doctor or what? Any help is always apretiated. Thank you for taking your time to read and answer this question.xxx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): I so feel the same,,,but we cant think that way,,we really cant.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 You got such wonderful advice. I'm just going to end up repeating it all! Spend lots and lots of time with your family, your dog. Take tons of pictures and movies together. Find out all you can about them, ask questions, talk as much as you can.
At 15 I definitely started to get a better understanding of death and the nature of the universe we live in. It's pretty scary. It sounds like this is bothering you a lot, along with some other stuff and I think you should see if you can talk to a counselor or therapist who will be able to help you adjust to, or at least understand the cycle of life and the other things bothering you. Or, if not a psychologist - talk to a parent or relative you feel comfortable with.
Don't try to deal with all this stuff alone! It's pretty heavy material. Good luck, sweetness!
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A
female
reader, melanie01  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 There is help out there for your problem. First off focusing on something that is going to happen one day is not the way to go. I used to do it myself. My parents are 40 years older then me i used to run into my mother's room crying at night scared that she was going to die soon. I can only tell you what i told myself. Their here now and that's what matters. Spending your time worrying about something you cant change is a waste of your time and energy. As for your school problems tell your parents this is something they need to know. If not tell a teacher you trust. This is very important that you do. Try and focus on what you are good at remember you are unique there isn't a person out there like you. You cant be replaced.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 February 2011):
 yes, you most certainly should see your Doctor and get help as soon as possible, for your sake, please.
Because depression is horrible and tries to trick the brain and results in the person thinking things are much more negative than a person without depression would see the same situation.
You do not have to put up with this debilitating depression because treatment is available.
Besides immediate medical attention also ask the Doctor to also refer you to a good counsellor - this is additional to the medical treatment the Doctor provides you.
You may not be in the right frame of mind to think positively about the future.
I understand that your mind is overwhelmed at the moment and so the 'positive' may be something you cannot imagine applying to you.
I know this, because my late husband used to marvel that i could be positive, and he could not, about exactly the same situation.
But he had depression, and I did not. That is why I know that depression is a serious medical condition that needs urgent medical treatment.
But i will try to open your thoughts to other possibilities:
There some other very special people who will come into your life, when the time is right. You have not met these people yet, or certainly not some of them, as some are not yet born.
These special people are Your life partner, your children and all manner of wonderful experiences that you cannot even imagine yet.
Sometime in the next 10 to 15 years you will possibly marry the love of your life. And some time around then you will also hold in your arms your first child. From then you will enjoy that baby's first smile, first steps, first day at school
Alternatively you may so enjoy studying that you go on to build a career in an area you enjoy working.
And there is travel to places you have not even begun to imagine
Or you may enjoy combinations of other interesting activities.
As you age it is likely you may also have other children and grand children who will adore you.
My thoughts are with you, my best wishes to you, Abella
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Hon, what you're feeling is part of being human, it happens to all of us. No one knows what the future will bring. But we learn that, usually, the worst doesn't happen. And as we live and learn, we become able to cope when bad things do happen.
I had the same thoughts at 15. And what I learned was that my worrying made no difference. I got lots of years with the people I loved -- fretting that they wouldn't be there just got in the way of enjoying them while I *did* have them in my life.
I had a grandmother who, to me, seemed incredibly old. I loved her and didn't want to lose her. So I spent all the time I could with her. I took her for coffee, whatever. I'm very grateful that I took advantage of that *now* that was.
You can't change the future. All you have is now. USE IT! Play with your dog; treat it as well as you can so that you have no regrets later. Treasure your family now. You probably have a long future with them, and the more that you treasure them now, the better that future will be. If in the very unlikely event that a loved one is lost to you soon -- you've lived and loved them as if it's your last time with them -- then you'll have no regrets. And the great many years you're likely to have them with you will be all the better for it.
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A
female
reader, Empowering +, writes (27 February 2011):
Oh, sweetheart, my heart breaks for you. I am a 61-year old woman who remembers those teen years. Depression can occur for so many different reasons at that young age. Thinking of death definitely can be overwhelming, especially at your age. You must be a special person who cares for your loved ones very, very much.
However, turn the spot light around and look at not the end, but at the now and what love and joy you are receiving from your loved ones. Together you all are making memories. I lost several loved ones during the past few years. Sad, yes, but they are always with me, surrounding my heart and soul with their laughter and love.
Please seek a counselor or therapist. Every single person on this planet has some cross to carry, so you are not alone. Let someone help you deal with your fears.
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