A
male
age
36-40,
*rmichael
writes:Hi thanks for looking at my page I need advice on this relation ship. Ok to start of I have meet this girl on a on line web site and I really feel in love with her. We have know each other for two yrs now. Every thing was great we hit it of good talked all the time on the phone msn etc. She even called me on her lunch break to talk it was great! So we wanted to meet in real life so about 4 months after we have talked to each other and really got to know each other. So after four months I went over there and meet up with her. And if your wondering if it is a long distance relationship it is I live on the west coast and she lives on the east coast. But so after four months I went over there and I visited her. I stayed over there four about a month and loved it we did so much it was like a new life to me and I loved it. But she did not want her mom and dad to find out I was living with her I don't know why she did not want to tell her mom and dad about me. I mean I'm a good looking guy I mean every girl that I meat says that about me. I mean I understand I did not finish high school and all and I did not have a job over there but it was kind of hard to find a job over there in a month. So after that I went back home for about 6 months and that's when things kind of went south we started to fight more because she would go out all the time with her friend's and family and its like things where not going good at all she did not want to talk to me as much as she did. She just wanted to go out more and more and not talk to me but we still wanted things to work out and we where still talking then. So about a yr after we wanted to be with each other again so I asked her if she wanted me to live with her and she said yes so I moved in with her and that's when thing's got real bad started to fight more because I would get mad when she wanted to go out more she left me a lot when I was over there because of her mom and dad still did not want to know about me being there. But she still went out a lot. But we still got a long ok I mean we went out to dinner all the time went out like every weekend and the sex was great I just don't know what happen well to make things short her mom found me living there and kicked me out because she was renting out the house from her mom. So I had to move back home and about a month after I got back home we where fighting a lot and did not want to talk as much as before. So one day she blocked me from calling her because of it then after that about one month she called me up at like 2am wanting to talk to me because she was missing me and after that we starting talking again but now it has came back down to her blocking me again because we got in a fight and I wish it was not like this I really still love her more then any other girl that I have ever met in my life but she is gone again and she never calls me I don't know what to do I still really love her and can't get over her I really miss her. Thanks for reading any help would help me out a lot thanks !!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 February 2011):
 hi MrMichael, I can tell this girl has really touched your heart, which only makes this situation so much tougher. While you were her secret LDR everything seemed wonderful. Because in the beginning I think she did come to trust and love you.
But she still had some reservations. And she continued to keep you a secret from her family.
That has to be a concern for two reasons. Point one: she sensed the her family would not accept you for some undisclosed reason.
But point two: when she could have stood up and supported you, she did not. Instead she acted like a 'caught out'
school girl. If she is old enough to live apart from her parents, then surely she is old enough to make her own decisions? In this instance her decision supported her parents view, not you.
And strange as it may seem, being a ''good looking guy'' is not enough for some people. There are people in this world who are people snobs about all sorts of issues. Such as where you live snobs. intellectual/IQ snobs. Corporate ladder snobs. Who you know and social status snobs. Who know which kind of shallow issues they judge others by? But that is not your concern. That is their problem, let them fret over it
But despite her talking to you, then blocking you again, i think your time with her is coming to an end. But if she cannot support you in public then it does not auger well for any private relationship
You can salvage something out of this, though maybe not the outcome you
would prefer the most.
I would Never Ever ever would want a person to face hurdles and hard challenges. But such challenges can be horrible yet can make you stronger. This challenge is an opportunity.
Concentrate on building your job skills. Go the extra mile at work.
So many men who have faced hurdles and challenges, (of the type you have faced) have used the challenge to motivate themselves to go on to greater things.
As a man you can also delay marriage and babies until you have built a career.
Be the guy people can say is always honest and true. Always a gentleman.
Whose customer service is excellent. Who is always courteous.
But also keep an eye out for unmet needs for services you could make into a business for you to start
This setback, horrible though it is, can be character building.
And while looks may fade, good character is everything.
One day the mother of your girl will recognise that she made the wrong decision to exclude you from her daughter's life.
Do not let that mother's decision define who you are.
Do not let your lack of a University degree define who you are. There are millions of very well educated people who are not street wise. There are even multi millionaires in this world who cannot spell. Do they allow their lack of education to be what defines who they are? No they do not.
You too can go on to better things
So instead build yourself. Always live within your means. Save a little of what you make, always. Pay off your debts. Be honest. Be reliable. Be the good guy you are. When you can get out and see more of the world. And one day you will find 'the one', fall in love and then be thankful that you waited until you had built your career more.
My best wishes to you, Abella
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (26 February 2011):
 From what you wrote I would say your relationship with this woman was based on sex. Go back to school or get your G.E.D. I liked reading your story but there were a few spelling and grammatical errors. Learn to fix these and maybe you'd like to become a writer. You tell a good story. I wish you all the best!
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