A
female
age
30-35,
*oncierge13
writes:Hi, I'm Pink. I'm 18 and I have a boyfriend. My problem is not about my boyfriend, though. It's about his close friend Ralph, whom he also shares an apartment with. Ralph is 17, loves to talk, and, to hear my boyfriend say it, has a complicated sex life. The first time I met him I was pretty sure he wasn't the type who could get a girlfriend. He's cute, all right, but full of air. Anyway, the next thing I knew he broke up with his girlfriend of one year, who was then four months pregnant. They eventually got back together, of course, particularly because the girl needed him so much. Later, I got to know his girlfriend, and she’s really, really nice (and really, really depressed too). I kinda became her confidante. She told me how difficult it was for her to be suddenly pregnant, how painful it was to go to his boyfriend’s place and then be told to leave, how she wanted to die, stuff like that. She also opened up about Ralph’s unloyalty to her in the past. Anyway, it’s been months now, and Ralph’s girlfriend has already given birth to her baby girl. You’d think he’d be more serious about his relationship with his girlfriend, but just a few weeks ago I found out that he’s dating an ex-schoolmate. (I haven’t seen her yet, but my boyfriend admits she looks like his ex. Ha.) Ralph’s started taking her to his apartment too, where they lock themselves up in his room. Ralph tells my boyfriend that he only wants to fuck the girl, and that he doesn’t plan to leave his girlfriend at all. I kinda felt sorry for the girl but realized what a complete slut (or stupid) she was when I found out that she was completely aware of the fact that Ralph and his girlfriend just had a baby. Well, she did ask Ralph about the status of his relationship with the mother of his baby, and he said, "We're friends." Wow. How could she NOT doubt that. I deeply care about Ralph's girlfriend. I consider her a trustworthy lady and my friend. Is that enough reason for me to meddle with Ralph's affairs? Should I tell his girlfriend about what's going on? I don't want anybody to get hurt. What can I possibly do to help?
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affair, broke up, depressed, get a girlfriend, got back together, his ex, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lovelyeyes +, writes (1 March 2011):
The answer to this Q is NO! That's his and her business. She knows he's not a good boyfriend and she's still w/him. Also it will prob cause problems between him and your man then u and your man will have problems. Worry about only yourself trust me it always backfires in your face even though your doing it for ggod reasons.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (1 March 2011):
 "She also opened up about Ralph's unloyalty to her in the past."
Apparently he's still continuing to be unfaithful to her. Just because he's a father now, doesn't mean he's going to change his cheating ways. If she hasn't left him before for cheating, then she's certainly not going to leave him now, when she's in this vulnerable state. It would be wise of her to ditch this douche, and better for her child in the long run.
It's not your place to tell her that Ralph is going behind her back. I know you have your friend's best intentions at heart, but even in you did tell her she most likely won't do anything about it. Just keep it to yourself, she'll eventually find out on her own. Cheaters are sloppy.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (1 March 2011):
 you can give his girlfriend support. But honestly? Is he worthy of being any one's boy friend? I think not.
But calling her attention to his latest fling will achieve achieve very little. For she will be the start of many.
Far better to down load that great Article on 'how to tell if a guy is a player' in DC. Put it in a folder with a few other semi related articles From DC. Like 'improving one's self esteem', 'infidelity','trust,' and 'uninterested father', etc.
Next time you see her talk about DC and casually mention that you've down loaded some of the answers you liked. Show her the folder.
Ask her if she'd, 'like to have a read of some of the examples in your folder?' and if she agrees you can volunteer that you'd, 'like to know what you think of the site?'
When you see her next, 'ask her what she thought of the advice on DC?'
After she has read the articles she may ask you, 'is he having an affair?'
That is your chance to suggest that, 'perhaps he is?'
There is no need cause her to ''lose face''. revealing to her, prematurely, evidence of his infidelity.
It will be bad enough, for her, when she finds out herself.
And offer her a lot of support to cope with the inevitable failure of her relationship. She may well love him. But he certainly does not appreciate her.
She will need considerable support when she finally realises what a low life her boyfriend reallly is
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