A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, i dont know, whom to turn for help as i am really feeling devastated today. As if, nobody in the world cares for me, loves me :( i am in a relationship with a guy from last 2.5 years. We both are really close emotionally and physically as well. But, recently, he has started avoiding me. :( I dont know what has happened to him. I've tried talking to him but as usual we always end up fighting with each other. Earlier, everything was fine. Now a days, he is blindly following his family, that is disturbing me a lot. It feels as his family is everything to him and i am nothing. He doesnt call or text me like before. I cant even get out of this relation. I am a very sensitive emotional girl. He is in the same college and my classmate as well. I face him everyday and i feel as if he has cheated me. He has switched off his phone and when he switches it on, he tends to make irrelevant excuses to cover up his mistakes. I want to leave him, but i am so very emotionally dependant on him that i dont know how to move out of this relationship, as i meet him daily in my college. I am feeling helpless. He loves me and i still love him, but i cant tolerate his controlling family anymore. I am deeply hurt. I had friends but i lost them because of him. Now i am alone and after such a long time, i cant move on. :( Can you guys help me what to do now as i see him on a regular basis? I am feeling vulnerable..and have lost everything i had because of him. What kind of a relation is it? Please show me some direction and help me to heal my pain. I am devastated. Thanx for any help. regardsabc
View related questions:
move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): Hey, i am an O.P. of this question. I am really overwhelmed to see all the support and love, all you guys have shown to me. I would really like to thank each one of you personally as i am really feeling better than before. You guys are just amazing. So, heart-felt thanks to supernanny, abella, chelly m, anonymous and bernard.. Thanku so much. I am glad and i owe this smile and my happiness to you guys. :) I really appreciate your experiences and feedbacks that you shared with me. Love you guys. Take care.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): Thanx a lot, for all your help guys. :) supernanny, you helped me a lot. I am glad, i am not alone. I've got some friends here. May i have your email id please? I will surely contact you as now i know that i need to love myself first. Thanku so much. :)
I was crying last night, but after getting support from here, i am feeling better. You guys are great. Thanx supernanny, abella, chelly m, anonymous and bernard.. I owe this smile and happiness to you all. Thanku. :) love you. Take care. 3
...............................
A
female
reader, supernanny  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 OMG!! talk about the story of my life last year!I seriously felt exactly the same way that you were feeling and also I felt that no body loved me and I felt so lonely. The first night I found it so hard to sleep at night because I couldn't stop thinking and was up earlyearlyearly in the morning wanting to continuously move to keep my mind off of it!!As we also went to the same college and were also in the same class I would advise you to not block him out completely but you should try and spend some time doing things for yourself as you need to really get use to being yourself, so go out with your friends, treat yourself and do whatevevr YOU want to do :)!!!!The advice that worked for me is LEAVE HIM ALONE! Don't bother trying to make contact with him because it'll only suffocate him more and he'll be left feeling like he has no other option but to talk to you. Also even if you two go back to normal for a while after some time he may come out with "you forced me into it." However I think that if you leave him to do what he needs to do for a while that he'll eventually come back to you.Good luck and hope you feel better :) I don't really know how this works but if you know how it does you can always message me to talk or whatever :)!!P.S me and my boyfriend are still together even a year after all of this has happened :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 it does sound like he is the guilty one and that he is either:
1. Too spineless and too weak to stand up to his family - if yes, then he has shown you his true colors and has done you a favor by becoming disinteresed in you.
2. If he has cheated on you then he has demonstrated that beneath his words he is NOT honorable and not true to his word if he cheated on you.
Better to discover early on if a man
cheats so the you can move on and form
a relationship with a more honorable man at some time in the future.
3. You have been with this guy for an extended time. Please give yourself time to grieve and concentrate on your studies. And speak to a counsellor face to face to help you deal with your feelings and emotions over this breakup
4. It is possible that he has not formally broken up with you yet because he is keeping you on hold in case his new relationship fails. If this is the case then he is not worthy of you. You need a more courageous man.
5. If friends have distanced themselves from you while you have been seeing him then how they all be wrong. There is a reason they are concerned. Ask them why, one at a time. They may know more.
6. Never allow a guy to so monopolise your time that you forget your friends. try to reconnect with your friends one at a time.
my thoughts are with you at this very tough time. You can rebuild your life.
Please check out the great Uncle here called Anonymousmale1 as he has great articles on men and how to spot a player.
Long term I think there is a strong possibility that your guy has been unfaithful. If that is the case then formally cease the relationship with this guy and avoid him in the future.
Grow into the Good person you are meant to be. I think it better that you rebuild you recognise all the good in you as you work on you, re-kindle all your friendships with good people and through that you will get stronger.
Best wishes
.
...............................
A
female
reader, chelly m +, writes (13 September 2011):
 Hello, I am sorry that you are feeling so low, Maybe this person wants to put some space between you and isn't emotionally equipped to tell you and is avoiding the situation, instead of being and acting like an adult. Maybe if you feel that there is a chance for you to stay together you should play a little of his own game, its called treat em mean keep em keen, and if they don't come after you, as hard as it may be then he probably isn't the one. Time will tell. Begin by not answering his txts or calls straight away, let him think you are busy, that you don't hang on his every word. Make plans with other friends, let him see you are popular, that you have a life, take some time for yourself, have an evening at home, pamper yourself, chill, take time to think, get used to your own company as well as others, its really not that bad, honest.During the process of showing him that you are special and important you might even find that you don't need him as much as you thought.Or he may think to himself this woman is worth it and do a u turn. Trust me I know love hurts no matter how old you are, but one day you will look back and see that whatever the outcome of this relationship it will be one of many lessons we learn in life, good luck, let me know how you get on, I hope I was of some help x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): you sound exactly like me. A while ago i was in the same situation, and i was totally lost.
Arrange a meeting with him, and explain to him how hes making you feel. if he's right for you, he'll make the effort to make things work.
...............................
|
