A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:What should i do? I am always feeling soo lonely even when im with my friends, and surrounded with ppl, i just feel like they are just their .. and i am always feeling stressed out.. and tired , when i go to school .. i don't feel like talking to anyone, and everyone always asks whats wrong? but i don't know what to say to them, cause knowing my friends they wont understand , and they all know me as the happy giggly person , and i just want to feel like that again. i feel right now that my friends arnt really their for me, but i know they are .. i have no one to talk to about this , soo i was just woundering what i should do to stop feeling liek this ? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys soo much! Hopefully your tips work! :)
A
female
reader, rrss  +, writes (22 September 2011):
Hi wonderful girl!!I dont think that you need any professional advice or any consulting.All you are going through is a general phase of harmonal change and imbalance like any other teenager. As u know each individual is different and created differently each of them have their own mood swings.You must be a very sensitive person so any little change in the atmosphere surrounding u will have a subconscious effect on ur mind.sometimes it is done unknowingly,so even when u think ur ok ur mind is still working on that some unpleasent thing or word or action that pricked ur heart or mind.I was just like u when i was a teenager ,everysingle day i used to feel left out and lonely.I used to feel stressed out for petty things (i know now they appear to be petty for me but at that point of time they appeared to be the biggest problems in life)I dont want to lecture u by saying do this and do that but just want to tell u that the solution is within urself because there is no other problem other than the things underlying in your subconscious mind.So when u go to school and people ask u whats wrong u dont have an answer because there's nothing wrong,its a just a teenage harmonal imbalance ur going through and trust me dear that it is perfectly natural.so when we are really stressed out from inside we dont feel like talking to anyone nor even answer their questions.As i understand u are a very very friendly person and all ur friends love u very much, but it's just that u are not able to recognise that because of ur internal disturbances in the mind..See i would just want u to practice a very very small practice but it is indeed difficult in practice , are u ready to do that, Its just a two phrase excercise"FORGIVE AND FORGET".these two words look like thay are too simple to read but they are the biggest deeds to practice,so when u start practicing those, for example if somegesture or anyword by somebody at home or at school is bothering u just try to forget that and just try hard to forgive them..Think that they were driven by some force to do that so just ignore and you will start to feel happy and liberated ,trust me dear it works wonders, i practced and am still doing it.now im a mother of two toddlers but still i have to do that and being a teenager you tend to get into modes of depression very easily so just try to be as bubbly and talkative as ever and once u start doing that u will never feel depressed stressed and tired. most important of all "FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF"start loving urself and liking u more than anybody does becuase if u like yourself everyone will like u and if you feel confident about yourself everybody does and if you look at yourself in the mirror u should feel good abt yourself that will make wonders ,I hope u trust my words and practice the above said words ,I would be the happiest if my words will help me get back your lost smile.Hope to see you posting again with ur reformed thoughts,.
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 Odds touched on a very good point. TOUCH. Hugs are the best. I think everyone deserves a hug every day, at least. Even new born babies can respond positively to touch.
And here is the link to looking for the positive in life.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/tunnel-vision-positive-thinking---used-to.html
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (22 September 2011):
 You may be a natural introvert. Doesn't mean that you don't like people, it just means that social interaction takes energy rather than giving energy. There's nothing wrong with that, I'm the same way.
Take some time out during the day - either before school, or later in the evening - and set it aside for yourself. Since you choose the time and dedicate it to yourself, you don't have to feel any pressure about spending that time talking to friends or doing homework (although it help you relax if all your work is already done). Sit back, read a book, meditate, get some exercise, knit, play Call of Duty, write the next great American novel, whatever floats your boat. Give yourself a few hours every couple of days to just unwind. When you get stressed during the day, just remember you have that time to look forward to.
Part of it may just be the feeling that you can't talk to your friends about it. So don't - tell them, "Hey, I'm a little stressed here," and just get a quick hug. Touch is powerful. Give it a try, you don't even have to explain it.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 September 2011):
The most important person who you need to be nice to is you. But if stresses and strains of being a teenager are impacting on you, and if you start to feel that your friends are not going to be "there"for you or are not "there" for you then this can lead to the sort of feelings you are enduring. It does not have to be like this. And there are remedies to address this problem. Please do not allow the feeling of being as you are to go on too long, without seeking some help. And do talk to your school counsellor Have you had a bereavement recently in the family or did a special pet pass away? Things like this are unsettling. And people do have feelings. You have feelings. And you need to grieve a loss. But eventually you do need to get your life back on track. You may need help to get there. There is help our there. Some people feel comfortable spending time alone and some people do not like doing this. And some people seek out other people and can be in a room full of people and still feel alone and unconnected to those around them. Sounds like you may be feeling "alone" even though you are with people. There are a range of reasons why this can happen. It may be that the other people do all know each other better than you. Or it could be that you take a little longer to develop trust as you like to weigh people up first, and do not jump in feet first. But another reason can be how you are feeling inside you. And if you are feeling very lonely inside this is not your fault. It is how you are at the moment. But there are practical things you can do to address this situation.Certainly you can ask your Doctor to confirm if you have mild depression or if it is more serious.Stressed out and tired out all the time could be a physical issue and it could be depression, which is also serious illness. But it can be mild and not need more than a few simple remedies. if people are asking "what's wrong" then you may be looking sad and they are looking out for you and showing that they care.And yes you may be a happy giggly person. But still be feeling a little 'down' at the moment. The best comedians are often people who make others laugh and yet wrestle with issues of depression. And some people put on a happy face even though they are sad inside. because they think being happy is what others want. However I do think a mind set that is positive will help you. I will post that link later too.If it is mild depression the Doctor will send you on your way, hopefuly with some simple remedies. However I will list the sort of simple remedies that you could instigate any time you wish further down the page here.Sometimes teens will think everyone else has it "better than they have it" in life. This is often not true. But there is a lot of 'one-upmanship' amongst teens. Teens suggesting their parents allow them to do more than is true. Teens boasting about a rare present from a relative as if it is the norm. And empathy amongst teens can be sadly lacking. And in those circumstances it is easy to feel very sad when everyone else around seems to be having fun.It is unrealistic to think we can "have it all' (well not just right now, but maybe later some of it can happen for us)or do anything at all, if we do not have the skills nor the experience or even the aptitude (yet - but may later on be able to achieve that goal with more hard work, more training, more experience, and a lot more patience)to do the task at hand. It is too indulgent to allow a teen to think things will just drop in their laps because that is not how life is. But when success does not easily materialise the teen may feel cheated out of success. When in reality they are just starting on the journey of life. And it does not matter (even though it seems like it matters a lot at the time) if others have more of anything right now. Some of the things (what I call "simple remedies" that can lift your spirit and make it easier to connect with others is to first start focusing on you. noton others. Sounds like a contradiction, but you need most of all to like you first. Then friends are more likely to flock to you, rather than you hoping they will like you.To do this please consider the following:1. Are you eating a good breakfast every morning. Something you have at home, some yoghurt and some fresh fruit? Or something more substantial?2. Are you getting enough sleep, or worrying and failing to fall asleep quickly? Try making up a warm milk drink and add some cocoa/chocolate powder/milo to the milk - such a drink just before bedtime can be a good ritual to start so you associate the drink with sleep.3. Turn off the computer, the mobile phone, instant messaging, facebook half an hour before you go to bed, at least. Ditto turn off any game machines. You need things calm in your bedroom before bed.4. Get outside more in sunlight. Because this can lift your mood.5. Try eating Brazil nuts - just a few each day. They are supposed to boost your mood. In a healthy way.6. Get more exercise - a run, a swim, any outdoor sport you can think of - summer and winter.7. avoid risky behavior. I have happily led my life without the need for 'trying out' any of the things like alcohol and nicotine and any illicit drugs. It can be done. Risky behavior is also rushing into a boy/girl relationship too quickly without much thought given to if it is the right thing for you.8. Try to identify the ten best points about you. Write them down. Read them out to yoruself.9. Make up a achievement board. Write down achieveable goals on the left - that is achieveable within 1 month, 3 months and 6 months. Give yourself a big star and a COMPLETED sign and the date as you achieve each goal. They do not have to be earth shattering amazing things. Just achieveabe. Like: tidy up my magazines and donate the ones that are readable to the charity shop and put the rest into the trash.,10 Review your achievements in three months and create a new achivement board. Re-position your priorities on the new one. Put the board where you can see it but your friends cannot. It is private. It is not open to debate nor criticism. It belongs to you and is yours alone.Do you have a school counsellor you could discuss your issues with? This may help clarify where you need to look at areas to address issues.Is there a skill you have been hoping to learn but have done nothing about it? Find out if there are classes where you can learn more about this skill. Say you wanted to learn pottery. Find out if anyone teaches this, where the classes are held, the cost etc. When you have a skill that others do not they often find that becomes a point of interest that they want to discuss and you make new friends. If you are depressed then volunteering may not be for you.First you need to feel good about you.However the Depression, if serious,is something you should discuss with the Doctor and then follow the advice of the Doctor.Wonderful Uncle at Dear Cupid called CaringGuy has also written a great article on being a teenager that you mightfind helpful below.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/understanding-teenagers.htmlThere is also a Canada specific page that might help you atSupport for teenagers experiencing depressionhttp://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hl-vs/jfy-spv/youth-jeunes-eng.php#achttp://org.kidshelpphone.ca/enMy best wishes to you.Abella
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