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I find it it weird and disgusting that my mom posted an old pic on Facebook, of her breastfeeding me while I was a toddler!

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Question - (23 June 2012) 9 Answers - (Newest, 24 June 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, *essica_Green writes:

My mom posted an old pic of her breastfeeding me while I was a toddler on facebook. What should i do?

I logged in on facebook today and saw on my home page that my mom had uploaded that pic. The pic was not in her album but on some facebook page which was sort of related to breastfeeding. I want that pic removed. It's so weird. She didn't tag me or anything but I still find it weird and disgusting. Should I tell my mom to remove it or is there a way to do it myself? Will it be removed if i report it or something?

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (24 June 2012):

Abella agony auntMaybe your Mom just wanted a picture that means a lot to her and shows her when she was 14 years younger than she is now. And I am sure that you look very different now too. But truly I can understand, at your age, why you don't want your baby photos out there.

I have some lovely photos of mine in the bath but I would never bring them out and embarass them now in front of their friends.

However as far as breast feeding I fully support breast feeding as the most wonderful thing for a baby. I have always been a big supporter of breast feeding. It is good for the baby and protects the baby in so many ways.

Recent research even said that breast fed babies have been found to have a slightly higher IQ than babies where their Mothers were unable to breast feed,

Please sit down calmly and talk this over with your mother but my own reaction was that it was a photo that had a lot of positive emotional significance to your mother.

And most mothers cover up most of the breast while the babie's head covers the rest. Well that's been the case with the photos I have seen, perhaps the photo you are talking about is not quite like that.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2012):

There’s nothing disgusting about breast feeding, though it’s perfectly understandable that you wouldn’t want to see a picture of yourself being breast fed, let alone have it put up on the internet. Unfortunately, one of the problems with social networking sites is that you can’t force a picture to be taken down, you can only contact the site and request it. Facebook sometimes remove pictures if they are distasteful or distressing, but if they’re posted on a group page on the subject of breast feeding, for example, I doubt they’d respond or consider the picture unacceptable. But you could try, if necessary. First, however, talk to your mother and explain that you are unhappy that the picture is up there. She might have never intended you to see it. If she won’t, tell her that you do not want to be named on whatever page it is she posts these photos, or tagged in them. I’m not a big Facebook user so don’t know all the settings and controls it offers, but have a look around at the settings centre. There might be a way to stop your mother’s news stories appearing on your home page, so that this won’t happen again.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2012):

Talk to your mum and let her know that you are uncomfortable with the photo being up on the internet. I understand that at your age I would have been mortified to find my Mum putting a photo like that up on the internet, though she doesn't have a photo because I was not breastfed as a baby, she just couldn't breastfeed. Just be honest with her and say that you find it embarrassing because you are the toddler in the photo and it makes you feel uncomfortable. I am sure she doesn not want to embarrass you intentionally. Good Luck sweetie

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 June 2012):

Honeypie agony auntFirst of all I breastfed all my 3 kids. And I see absolutely nothing disgusting about it. However, I have never felt a need to post pictures of it on the internet.

Is it because your MOM is breastfeeding or because it's YOU being fed?

PS, honey.. why do you think women HAVE breasts? .. you got it! to feed our young.

Talk to you mom tell her you feel uncomfortable with it. Be honest but I would suggest you don't go the "eww that it gross" way of explaining why you rather she take it down.

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A female reader, BondGirl72 United States +, writes (23 June 2012):

BondGirl72 agony auntI can understand how you feel. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world, but at your age, it can be rather embarrassing to have a picture like that on your mom's Facebook page. I would just ask her if she could find a different picture. She might find one of you taking a bath in the sink or something else though! Mom's show those pictures around and think nothing of them, but if it bothers you, tell her about it and see what she says.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (23 June 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt Breastfeeding is not weird , it's a very normal, natural and healthy thing. Aren't you overreacting a bit ? I could understand your embarassment if your mom had posted that pic for the heck of it, just to show her boobs on the net, or to show how pretty she was 15 years ago... but the pic belongs to a certain context, something related to breastfeeding, so supposing she posted it, say, on the page of the La Leche League, she'd be doing it to support or be a testimonial of something she believes in. No malice, no vanity ,no vulgarity.

If it does bother you so much, you could ask her to remove it because of a privacy issue: that was a private, intimate, tender moment between you two, and you would not want to risk people making fun of it or making lewd comments about it. But I too would skip the eeeewww factor, why making her feel " disgusting " for having done something NICE for you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2012):

Breastfeeding is not disgusting. I breast fed my children because I loved them deeply and wanted to give them the best start in life. So try and remember that is what your mother was doing too and dont be toooo harsh on her.

Having said that. I still love my children deeply and would never intentionally do anything to embarrass or offend them. And that includes putting pictures of myself with my boobs out on a social site for all to see...breast feeding or not!

Given your age, modesty and the awful peer pressures around, I really think your mother should have asked you if you minded first.

Maybe try having a talk to her and explaining how you feel about seeing that picture of her on Facebook. It is not just you seeing her but everyone. She needs to be aware that not everyone is nice on Facebook and she could be allowing people to take and keep that intimate picture of you both for all sorts of reasons! Also by showing it, she leaves you open to teasing by others. AND having such an intimate picture of the two of you floating around cyber space for every Tom, Dick or Harry to look at...IS cheapening the value of such an intimate family picture.

If she wont take it down, you can always remove it from your Facebook or if it REALLY offends you, you could report it to Facebook. But try reasoning with her first. If she is a sensible woman and your feelings are important to her, she will listen to you and respect your wishes.

Just dont tell her you think she is disgusting or she will start defending breastfeeding and she will miss the whole point of what you are trying to say to her x

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (23 June 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntJessica, I'm guessing the reason you dont like it is the thought of being breastfed by your mother ... ewwww @ your mother's boobie in your mouth.

You could try asking her to remove it, I can understand the embaressment value of such a picture. Ask her to remove it but also realise mother's milk is the best for babies, and the bonding that happens when a mother holds her baby close to her body, so close the baby can feel mum's heart beat is very important to a baby's development.

Years ago there was no embaressment attached to feeding babies, just think of all the old paintings you can see of boobs hanging out all over the place .... this new resurgence of anti breast feeding/anti mother's milk, who could be driving that campaign, could it be the manufacturers of fake, chemically altererd milk for babies? The whole anti midwives, anti women deciding for themselves how and where their babies are to be born and fed could, and is, seen by many, as a further attempt to control the lives of women.

By breast feeding you your mother gave you the very best start in life she possibly could, and by posting the picture on a breast feeding group she is announcing to the world she is proud of that fact, and proud of her baby - thats you btw.

Ask her to take it down, but without the ewww factor, just explain your friends wont understand the issues surrounding breast feeding and you would appreciate it if she took it down so that they cant tease you about it!

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A female reader, Shadow Rose United States +, writes (23 June 2012):

Shadow Rose agony auntYou should just tell her that you don't like that, and hopefully she understands. I guess if she doesn't take it down after you asked, you could report it. Not sure what they'd do, but it may work. Just ask first.

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