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... Send *bella a private message | | | *bella's profile:"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie
I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)
And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf
“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “
"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."
That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.
And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.
When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:
With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.
Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.
We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.
It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.
In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.
Never underestimate such a person.
Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.
A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.
Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.
The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:
“A leader leads by example not by force. “
And now some less well known quotes:
“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”
by Daisaku Ikeda
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
by Maya Angelou
“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”
by Zainab Alsaati
Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')
'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie
I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person
'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)
"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt,
kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer
'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune.
Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie
"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson
“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa
"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt
'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie
what's your favourite quote?
But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.
There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.
They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.
Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.
There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?
Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.
Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.
What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?
Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:
Negativity?
Passive Aggression?
Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?
Envy
Jealousy
For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.
The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.
Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.
Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.
Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.
Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified. |
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Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 3 July 2015: I like this question on dearcupid.org where the Original Poster asked why are you on DearCupid? So I am adding another PS.
This one is from @DearCupid1 on Twitter.com - where what the Aunts of Uncles dispense at dearcupid.org was described as Rand... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 14 July 2014: Sadly I think you'll have to be guarded about what you tell anyone in her son's family. They seem to be tolerating her continuing reign of harassment.
That they tolerate it, does NOT mean that you have to put up with her continuing harassment.
Wh... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 14 July 2014: Hi
I used the term Judge. But it seems in your country you have another role which is less than a Judge but where the person has plenty of Power in the Courts at a lower level than a Judge. In your country it is called a Magistrate.
I don't k... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 14 July 2014: A threat to your business?
That is a serious threat to your livelihood.
Get a lawyer to handle this. She needs to hear a Judge warn her off.
She will not listen to you and you are wasting your time trying to appeal to her.
Her aims towards you... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 13 July 2014: No I don't think it will help at all. She will no doubt be contemptuous about the letter.
By writing to her you are giving her the attention and drama that she craves. You will be giving her the Power over you that she thinks she is entitled to y... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 5 July 2014: hi
you really must get over this guilt, it is unproductive.
Get some counselling if you start to want to go back to being humiliated and abused and manipulated.
Doing the same thing again will get you into an unhealthy situation and you will not... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 5 July 2014: Well done that you managed for TWO YEARS without them. The world did not stop while you left did it?
They managed without you while you were away?
You have been there and done that in the past and you know how toxic they are towards you.
Cont... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 25 March 2013: you will need to be more guarded in what you say. While your siblings are still ''under the thumb'' they should be give limited information. When they are mature enough to respect your privacy and you can trust them to keep a confidence then they ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 25 March 2013: Hi
Yes I think the letter will add fuel to the fire. And I don't think you have to physically move again to get some distance.
They still make you feel hurt even though you distanced yourself from them. Part of the problem being that you still al... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 21 January 2013: Hi,
Good to hear from you again.
Your selfish parents are never going to change, you know that. So don't allow this crisis with your brother to draw you back into the family and then see yourself back into the abusive cycles you suffered when you... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 16 November 2012: First Congratulations with the recognition. Sounds like you deserve such recognition.
Actions: these tell intentions.
IF your grandmother was really proud of you then she would not seek to undermine you. She would make it her mission to find out... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 2 September 2012: I love answering questions on this site. And I love reading all answers that I have time to read. I especially love the great Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. As I think good articles are often a distilation of experience.
... (read in full...)
Abused as a teen. Now I find I am starting to prefer girls. Can I change to become hetrosexual?
Q. ModNote: As the OP was then under the legal age of consent at the time, then the OP, legally, was not able to give informed consent and so was a victim of abuse. If the OP wants this waiver removed please say While under the legal age of consent ...
A. 4 March 2012: Hi
Just give yourself time to explore this option, eg girls.
AnonymouseMale1 has some good ideas on DearCupid.org in his articles on dating.
And these links may help you to seek some further answers that could help you to discover that what y... (read in full...)
Abused as a teen. Now I find I am starting to prefer girls. Can I change to become hetrosexual?
Q. ModNote: As the OP was then under the legal age of consent at the time, then the OP, legally, was not able to give informed consent and so was a victim of abuse. If the OP wants this waiver removed please say While under the legal age of consent ...
A. 4 March 2012: You may or may not have sought counselling. I would recommend it as it is very important that you seek this counselling.
You say you felt nothing, but you may have instead pushed to the back of your mind what you were put through. The impo... (read in full...)
Should I try asking this girl out or is it a lost cause?
Q. Hi, Basically, I got very bored so I joined a dating site and subsequently messaged someone who I quite liked for about a week. Things seemed pretty decent so I sent a message asking if she would want to meet up at some point. Then she kinda w...
A. 3 March 2012: Hi
rather than a message of 'how is it going?' which is more of a friend message have you considered asking her out? Girls on dating sites have a lot of choice. They are going to open up more readily to guys who show genuine positive interest in t... (read in full...)
'Free Spirit?' Or did he mislead me? Should I wipe him from my life?
Q. M led me on for approximately 9 months. It started off as a normal friendship, however it quickly became intense with the knowledge of his life partner passing away a couple of years ago. For reasons unbeknown to me, he chose to get close to me ...
A. 28 February 2012: definitely make an appointment asap for a chat with your Doctor about what may be temporary depression and then, yes, off to some face to face counselling.
Please do not let it linger until you find yourself sinking into an abyss.
Your health m... (read in full...)
This is a dumb questions but .... does he like me?
Q. Ok so right before the Christmas holidays we went for dinner and we were really attracted to each other and ended up kissing a lot! We've been in touch but it's been busy with university work. Anyway last week we got talking again and he invited m...
A. 25 February 2012: it is not a dumb question. Maybe you just need confirmation from an independant source?
Without doubt he really, I mean Really likes you.
If you like him too then enjoy his company. All power to him if he wants to spoil you. Hope 2012 is a Great ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with built up hatred for my ex? He just went missing when I told him I was pregnant and he never cared to check on me until months later
Q. It has been about 4 years since I had an abortion. I had gotten pregnant by my ex. I had also gotten sick around the time I was pregnant. I had to make a choice to have surgery for my illness and lose the baby..or stay sick and keep it..I ...
A. 18 February 2012: Asking for help is the smartest of moves. Those who make the decision to get help are outnumbered by those who don't. Well done that you are making these major decisions.
Re choosing a therapist:
Ask questions yourself before you choose which on... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 18 February 2012: EyesWideOpen is such a wit, is she not! Seriously though DearCupid.org is a wonderful site. And with the Changes imposed by Google.com it is up to everyone to spread the word about how good this site is. If Google.com is bent on disadvantaging go... (read in full...)
Can you tell me how to kiss a boy Please!!!! Or how to find out how?
Q. Hi everyone, Ok, I am 16 and as far as doing anything with a boy goes, the only thing I have done is hug one. Now there's this guy and we both really like each-other, I think. He is getting a little impatient, we aren't dating or anything b...
A. 18 February 2012: Nice feedback. It is always good to see such positive feedback
Best wishes for the future
regards
Abella... (read in full...)
How do I deal with built up hatred for my ex? He just went missing when I told him I was pregnant and he never cared to check on me until months later
Q. It has been about 4 years since I had an abortion. I had gotten pregnant by my ex. I had also gotten sick around the time I was pregnant. I had to make a choice to have surgery for my illness and lose the baby..or stay sick and keep it..I ...
A. 18 February 2012: And I loved your feedback. Thank you
Really good to read feedback so nice as that
Hope things get better and better for you in the future.
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 18 February 2012: Thank you for your beautiful follow up. Really made me feel extra good. Much appreciated and I wish you well in the future too
Regards
Abella ... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 17 February 2012: By the way if you were 15 or 20 my advice would be different. Because you would still be learning life lesson.
And there may be more lessons to learn. But you are the one who will decide which lessons you choose to learn from, for a better f... (read in full...)
Troubled relationship with mother and grandmother. What do I do?
Q. Hello, This is a family orientated relationship problem. I am a 30 year old female. I am in contact with my grandmother and siblings. My father and I have been estranged for 10 years with very little communication in that time. Over the p...
A. 17 February 2012: First off Dump Any guilt about what ever you do decide to do in your life.
You are intelligent and capable and attractive, you do not need their approval nor their advice nor their endorsement about any of your life decisions nor your business deci... (read in full...)
How do I deal with built up hatred for my ex? He just went missing when I told him I was pregnant and he never cared to check on me until months later
Q. It has been about 4 years since I had an abortion. I had gotten pregnant by my ex. I had also gotten sick around the time I was pregnant. I had to make a choice to have surgery for my illness and lose the baby..or stay sick and keep it..I ...
A. 17 February 2012: hi, no matter how enticing a stand-up / show-down might seem as a 'closure' device I would suggest you think of calmer options.
Your illness would have resulted in a terribly stressful time. Being unsupported and alone would be the pits, I woul... (read in full...)
I'm feeling really pressured to lose my virginity!
Q. so here's the deal.. literally everyone my age is having sex but me.. (I'am 16) I haven't done anything with a guy, all I've done is kiss, all the guys I've went out with, all want one thing! and when I don't give it to them they break it off. I ...
A. 17 February 2012: Anyone who pressures you to have sex is NOT seeking a relationship. And is NOT respecting you either. Instead they are collecting notches on their belt and they want to add to the list. Such guys have NO interest in you, not matter what they cla... (read in full...)
Can you tell me how to kiss a boy Please!!!! Or how to find out how?
Q. Hi everyone, Ok, I am 16 and as far as doing anything with a boy goes, the only thing I have done is hug one. Now there's this guy and we both really like each-other, I think. He is getting a little impatient, we aren't dating or anything b...
A. 17 February 2012: Becky has a lovely answer, in the form of an article on DearCupid.org and I think you might find it helpful
Here it is:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/kissing-a-how-to-guide.html
... (read in full...)
Kissing. A how-to-guide
Q. hello little lemon drops of the earth! there is a possiblilty that SEVERAL of you have not kissed anyone before. (unless your a little bit weird and have made out with a potato :S) so im here to shed some light on your little minds with my ...
A. 17 February 2012: This is a sweet article that I am recommending to another poster
I found it a lovely read.... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 16 February 2012: ps: because I think thousands more people out there could be helped by DearCupid.org - but they have not yet seen the site. And I can only speak for myself. But I feel I may not be alone in this - and that is that often I spend additional time res... (read in full...)
Why are you on DearCupid?
Q. Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...
A. 16 February 2012: hi
I came across Dear Cupid by accident. And found it fascinating. I read through some questions and answers started coming into my head.
Then I read the guidelines and criteria and decided it was a really genuine honorable site.
Until I f... (read in full...)
'Free Spirit?' Or did he mislead me? Should I wipe him from my life?
Q. M led me on for approximately 9 months. It started off as a normal friendship, however it quickly became intense with the knowledge of his life partner passing away a couple of years ago. For reasons unbeknown to me, he chose to get close to me ...
A. 13 February 2012: Guys sometimes talk about the things they think a girl wants to hear. And when I hear:
"did not want to hurt" you
Then I call that remark above 'code' for "i am not reliable so don't get your hopes up. Because I cannot deliver what I am promisin... (read in full...)
This is my reality, how do others cope with living with or saying goodbye to an alcoholic partner?
Q. Hi I am new to this, so don't quite know if I am doing it right or not. I have written in reply to a question 'What's it like living with an alcoholic'. That's me well at least until last week, I had, had enough and told him to go. This has h...
A. 12 February 2012: congratulations on selling the car.... (read in full...)
This is my reality, how do others cope with living with or saying goodbye to an alcoholic partner?
Q. Hi I am new to this, so don't quite know if I am doing it right or not. I have written in reply to a question 'What's it like living with an alcoholic'. That's me well at least until last week, I had, had enough and told him to go. This has h...
A. 12 February 2012: hi
Sorry to hear you are not well. Hope that you feel better soon.
Try not to weaken. No matter what he tries. You could also block him by phone and email if you feel strong enough to do that?
And buy yourself some nice perfume as your Valenti... (read in full...)
I feel so guilty for missing my ex and wishing I was with him. What can I do? It feels wrong
Q. Dear Cupid, I have no idea what to do, I have a boyfriend who I love and I see when I'm at school. But also I see my ex everyday at school. I think I still have feelings for my ex, I don't know if they're love or just miss how we were, since ...
A. 12 February 2012: if your ex was your first relationship then people often romanticize their first as special. And think back to a past glossing over why the couple split up in the first place.
Think long and hard about why you broke up with your ex.
Think about ho... (read in full...)
My best friend/room mate found my vibrator and won't stop teasing me about it!
Q. I've been single for a couple years now and I've been living with my best friend (who happens to be a guy) for four years. We've known each other since we were 16, though, so it's not a huge thing and he's also been single for longer than I have. ...
A. 12 February 2012: it is none of his business and he is being inappropriate to tease you.
Download a brochure on a 'fleshlight' (for men) from the Internet, leave it where he can read it, and suggest he's out of touch with the real world if he thinks men and wome... (read in full...)
He came to visit so we could meet in person, but I caught him talking on the phone with other women during his visit.
Q. Dear Aunts, I finally met the man I was talking to online, and that was afraid to meet because I am too shy and did not drive. We met in person two weeks ago, and he is the sweetest and most gentleman man I have ever met; he drove the whole time s...
A. 12 February 2012: it sounded too good to be true at the beginning and he probably loved how it was going perfectly up until the phone call incident.
If he had anything to hide you sure blew him out the water. I agree going outside was curious.
But going through ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation harmful to a man around 80 years old??
Q. is masterbation harmful for an old man,say 80 years old? ...
A. 11 February 2012: of course it is not harmful. In fact it is probably giving him joy and keeping him healthy.
It would be disrespectful to even intrude on him when he is alone enjoying it. And intrusive of his privacy to try to stop him as he has probably succ... (read in full...)
How do I become close to a girl who is in a relationship with another? Should I?
Q. What should i do in order to win the heart of a girl who is in a relationship, even though i might not be able to see her often because of her studies? how do i become very close to her?...
A. 11 February 2012: Please find another nice girl.
This girl you have identified is already in a relationship and no one will thank you for trying to disrupt her existing relationship.
There are millions of other people in the world who are not in a relationship... (read in full...)
What does he mean? Is he flat out caring for his Mom or is he married?
Q. I was having a conversation with the man I have been involved with for quite a while now and i told him that at times "I felt as though I was involved with a married man". Based on past behavior patterns that a lot of married men exhibit. His ...
A. 11 February 2012: Hi
That is a lovely follow up. You sound like you have a rock solid relationship.
And I love his comment to you, that he's not giving you up without a fight. What a lovely man.
I think he is lucky to have your support.
regards
Abel... (read in full...)
What does he mean? Is he flat out caring for his Mom or is he married?
Q. I was having a conversation with the man I have been involved with for quite a while now and i told him that at times "I felt as though I was involved with a married man". Based on past behavior patterns that a lot of married men exhibit. His ...
A. 11 February 2012: He is not doubt often tired, even though it is early days with this burden.
Alzheimers is a disease that can go on for many years. And it takes a big toll on carers.
And takes a lot of effort on the part of carers to think of everything, ... (read in full...)
He says this other girl has a crush on him. Can I trust him, that it's normal for this to happen?
Q. my bf says theres a girl who likes him, and i asked him if he liked her back. he said yes, as a crush. i got upset and said 'so basically youre close to loving her, you like her a lot more than a friend' he said no, that he just likes her, but not...
A. 11 February 2012: It sounds like he is mildly amused and flattered that this other girl has a crush on him.
He is a gentleman as well, so he is not going to tell her to get lost nor be silly and tell her not to have a crush on him.
Nor is he going to encourag... (read in full...)
I do not want to be pushy. I'm confused. But does he like me or not?
Q. Hey, I'm kinda confused about a situation with a guy. We're both 17. He's in the same grade as me, but we are in different classes. My best friend goes to his class. So we went to a party together, him, my friend and I. We had a lot fun, and we ...
A. 11 February 2012: He most definitely does like you, but he is still testing the water and he is not sure.
He does not want to make a fool of himself.
But by his actions he has already revealed a bit of 'like' for you. He is a definite possible YES by the looks of... (read in full...)
'Free Spirit?' Or did he mislead me? Should I wipe him from my life?
Q. M led me on for approximately 9 months. It started off as a normal friendship, however it quickly became intense with the knowledge of his life partner passing away a couple of years ago. For reasons unbeknown to me, he chose to get close to me ...
A. 11 February 2012: you are very welcome, I was happy to offer what I could.
Regards
Abella... (read in full...)
He rejected me, now he likes me?
Q. What do I do if a guy who rejected me, is now asking me out? First he said he just liked me as a friend and couldn't see me in a romantic way. He said that last year if I had asked him earlier, he thought things might've been different. He started ...
A. 11 February 2012: People can always change their mind.
And he is still of an age where his emotions and likes and dislikes are volatile. And change quickly.
He is still young and at school. He is testing the waters with girls. Sampling what is on offer. And who ... (read in full...)
This is my reality, how do others cope with living with or saying goodbye to an alcoholic partner?
Q. Hi I am new to this, so don't quite know if I am doing it right or not. I have written in reply to a question 'What's it like living with an alcoholic'. That's me well at least until last week, I had, had enough and told him to go. This has h...
A. 10 February 2012: and I have not (yet) suggested a visit to your Doctor as I sense that you can get through this. It will not always feel great. Yet I do think you have the strength within to get through this. One proviso: if you do start to feel depressed a... (read in full...)
This is my reality, how do others cope with living with or saying goodbye to an alcoholic partner?
Q. Hi I am new to this, so don't quite know if I am doing it right or not. I have written in reply to a question 'What's it like living with an alcoholic'. That's me well at least until last week, I had, had enough and told him to go. This has h...
A. 10 February 2012: hi suey
Follow ups are really good. I like to read them. And if you look at the stats, far far more people read the answers and the follow-ups than reply. And that's OK. Imagine if you had to wade through 300 replies to every followup :)
So on... (read in full...)
'Free Spirit?' Or did he mislead me? Should I wipe him from my life?
Q. M led me on for approximately 9 months. It started off as a normal friendship, however it quickly became intense with the knowledge of his life partner passing away a couple of years ago. For reasons unbeknown to me, he chose to get close to me ...
A. 10 February 2012: Sadly yes he did use you and it was not nice. You offered him support when he was at a low ebb. You made life more bearable for him. Though he tried to warn you that he was not the grateful type.
In fact as soon as his 'ship' was righted emot... (read in full...)
Horses are the only good thing. how can I make it clear to my parents that they expect too much of me?
Q. Ok so I seriously hate my life right now....everything just sucks about it. I go to a horrible public high school where theres drugs and a million 15 year old pregnant girls. Our house that I've been living in for about 10 years is going to get take...
A. 10 February 2012: Hi
It sounds like your parents are putting way too much pressure on you at a time when they and you are feeling extra stressed. This much stress is not good for your health. And as you start taking harder classes in high school something has to 'giv... (read in full...)
Based on my personality what animal could I use to best describe me for this job question?
Q. Lol. I've been asked an unusual question on an application form, and i'm not sure how to answer it. I'm applying for a job in a Pet Shop, and the question is to describe yourself as a pet, what would you would be and why!. I guess i need to think ...
A. 8 February 2012: the question is also about your suitability for the job. So here goes: Your personality is a Meer-cat (wikipedia it) - and include a picture of an alert Meer-cat in your application As a Meer-cat you are alert, a team player, enthusiastic. Yo... (read in full...)
This is my reality, how do others cope with living with or saying goodbye to an alcoholic partner?
Q. Hi I am new to this, so don't quite know if I am doing it right or not. I have written in reply to a question 'What's it like living with an alcoholic'. That's me well at least until last week, I had, had enough and told him to go. This has h...
A. 8 February 2012: now is a great time to re-focus your efforts on what you want out of your life from now on and further in the future.
He is out of your life and you are in charge of your future now. No more cleaning up his mess. You can now have peace reign at... (read in full...)
This is my reality, how do others cope with living with or saying goodbye to an alcoholic partner?
Q. Hi I am new to this, so don't quite know if I am doing it right or not. I have written in reply to a question 'What's it like living with an alcoholic'. That's me well at least until last week, I had, had enough and told him to go. This has h...
A. 8 February 2012:
I read your remarks in the question you mentioned: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-it-like-to-live-with-an.html
And you are completely correct. Alcoholism needs the alcoholic to want to change. And to admit there is a problem. You... (read in full...)
I 'attach' to girls too quickly. My sex and social life sucks. What do I need to know to make things better?
Q. So, despite vowing to drop my obnoxious way of becoming attached to girls based on the slightest sign of interest, I'm back in the same murky waters again and seeking advice yet again. I'm 22 years old, and there's little point in lying: I had pra...
A. 7 February 2012: Also consider any opportunity to get invovled in a community project or a volunteer program that advantages the community. For it is there that you will meet good kind people like you. And slowly prove your reliability to others, build up trust and ... (read in full...)
I 'attach' to girls too quickly. My sex and social life sucks. What do I need to know to make things better?
Q. So, despite vowing to drop my obnoxious way of becoming attached to girls based on the slightest sign of interest, I'm back in the same murky waters again and seeking advice yet again. I'm 22 years old, and there's little point in lying: I had pra...
A. 7 February 2012: Two people you can count on as friends is a good start.
However do you have access to a good wise person who you can trust who would willingly help you with role plays?
Because it seems that you lack confidence due to (perhaps?, I am guessing?... (read in full...)
| *bella's friends
These are mutual friends, so *bella has
added them and they have added *bella!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
