A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:im gonna make it short. im 16 and about 2 months ago i went to a rave and got with this way older guy that poped my cherry and said hes got "it" under control and obvi. didnt it was the worst thing in my life he wasnt gental at all and i just found out im pregnant and idk the guys last name so i cant get in touch with him and im the only one that knows im pregnant. and i live my dad so he would kill me. so should i get an abortion with out telling anyone?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (18 June 2012):
 For anyone with this same question and this same scenario, plus a NEED for answers for your situaiton then please post your question as a separate question.
Because posting your own scenario, without advice for this OP, who is in need of advice and answers, just adds more layers when this teenager is seeking answers for their situation
I am very sad that you are faced with so much impending responsiblity right now. It is a life lesson to never trust a guy who claims he has "it under control". Very sadly he was lying when he gave you that assurance.
And Fast Forward 18 years time. Your child is going to want to know the name of their father. And Finding that father is going to be a needle in a haystack exercise. If not completely impossible.
And mother's who DO know the name of the father but deny that information to their child once the child is 18 are denying their child birthright information they could reveal.
Please commence getting very good ante-natal care now. Please start taking folic acid and any other supplements the Doctor suggests. Yes this is expensive. But these are things that help you get through the pregnancy and support the growing baby.
Your life is about to change in dramatic ways you have never imagined. You will be sleep deprived for at least the next five years, if not longer.
Please reach out for every last shred of support. You are going to need every last bit of it. The first year of the baby is a shocker in terms of costs. Babies grow so quickly. One minute you have new clothing for the baby and a month later the clothing needs replacing as it is then too small for the baby
And the first six weeks after the birth of the baby are seriously exhausting. (It is to do with your hormonces swirling around inside you in the month after the baby is born.
Read up what you can, get plenty of rest and see the Doctor regularly.
Best Wishes
Abella
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): Get an abortion. It is not pleasant thing to go through, but neither is spending the next 20 years raising this guy's child or giving birth to a baby only to give it up to a foster home. None of your options are easy now. Pick the one that is best in the long run.
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A
male
reader, Ayan Ganguly  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Find out if any friend could help you 'coz i get i feel life would get very cruel on you if you are all by yourself...if abortion could be done by keeping it a secret affair go ahead..but i feel it's better you talk to your dad...he would be terribly angry but then he would take steps that would be good for you...your life has just begun so don't take any more wrong decisions..god bless
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A
female
reader, SOShelp  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 First, silly, silly girl but I'm not going on about that because you can sort that out...
Tell someone, even if it is your doctor. Since you are under 18 you may have to tell your parent in order to have an abortion legally but research into it. Obviously if you don't know the guys name then you can not get in touch so don't worry about that because there is nothing you can do about that.
I would tell your dad because he may get mad and angry but he is your father and he will look after you even if he is angry at first.
But you decide what is best for you and your life. Hope you can sort everything out
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A
female
reader, Justinara +, writes (11 June 2012):
Wow, listen first thing first you need to talk to someone (someone face to face in confidentiality), if not possible, call a help line. I should not influence your decision but are you really ready to have a baby? The way out may just be an abortion, although, many may disagree. I believe you should not bring a child up in this world where you wished it was never born. There are a lot of children not wanted and they have serious issues growing up. Listen, do some research and talk to someone about it. Get a doctors appointment. Although your dad may 'kill' you which he will probably will not do but he may be disappointed you may just have to tell him. Being a mother will take a huge courage and hard work and you need all the support you can get now. Seriously ask yourself what do you want? this baby or for life to get back to normal? You will have to act fast though, each day the baby is growing and will become part of you. Good Luck.
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